


Perfection

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Idols, Mutual Pining, Seventeen - Freeform, Stylist AU, and pining, mostlyfluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 23:09:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 88,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14882987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You are Shin Youjin. Recent college graduate looking for a job when you stumble into an interview at Pledis Entertainment and get the job as Seventeen's lead stylist! But it's only temporary, and if you mess up you're fired.How Shin Youjin inevitably falls hard for the chestnut haired main vocalist of Seventeen.





	1. Stumbling

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I was really hesitant to write this because I haven't written a story with an original character and posted it yet. Please tell me what you think and if I should continue this trash fanfic haha :)

Landing this interview had been everything a young university graduate like Youjin ever wanted. The job was practically a dream: stability, good pay, and creative freedom. So when Pledis Entertainment began to accept applications for a new stylist for their idol group, she had immediately sent in her resumé.

She knew her application would probably be overlooked (as her qualifications included two things: a major in fashion design, and a collection of colorful knitwear pieces assembled on the budget of 200,000 won), but it was a worth a shot.

The day she had received the call from the company saying she got an interview for the position was probably one of the best days of her life. It meant out of all the thousand resumes, she was noticed by someone somewhere who got her to the second stage of the process. Her dreams felt so close, like she could reach out and touch them.

However still, there would be many applicants to compete with as she tried not to get her hopes up. Knowing the only way she could get the job would be through hard work and wit. She practiced her posture in the mirror, and mimicked shaking someone’s hand countless times just to be extra prepared. 

Then came the real challenge: putting together an outfit that showed off her potential.

She pulled out a crimson red duster that she had bought instead of paying off her college loans. Pairing it with thigh high black leather boots, grey washed denim shorts, and a black turtleneck.

Tending to go light on accessories, she wore simple dangly silver earrings and grabbed a black leather clutch bag that she had customized by sewing on small patches.

I’m finally ready... She told herself with a confident last look in the mirror.

***

“Kim Misun?” A tall lady dressed in business attire, with bird-like features called a girl’s name, reading off of a clipboard firmly planted at her hip. Thus prompting a girl quite a bit older than Youjin to stand up and follow the bird-lady into what she assumed to be the interview room.

The waiting room was small, densely packed with at least thirty women and men sitting on uncomfortable sofas, waiting for their name’s to be called. The waiting part was the hardest, Youjin’s foot tapping on the linoleum floor in anticipation as she steadied her breathing. Her name could be called any minute.

“Shin Youjin?” With shaking legs she stood up and bowed politely to the sharply dressed bird-lady. “Follow me,” the company worker simply said, holding the door open.

Youjin used her practiced posture in order to look as put together as possible, hopefully not visibly quaking in anxiety.

“You’re the youngest out of all of our applicants,” the lady informed her with an impartial almost cold tone of voice. Youjin didn’t know whether to take that as a good thing or a bad thing.  
“Yes ma’am, I just graduated.” She replied as cheerfully as she could, trying to seem eager but not too eager. Experienced but also fresh to the game. Talking with people was a constant struggle.  
“Oh? So are you a fan of the group?” Even though it sounded like an accusation, the lady didn’t seem like she meant it in a sour way. Youjin decided to answer honestly.  
“No Ma’am, I’ve only ever heard of their music briefly.” She shrugged, “I watched a few videos here and there,”  
“Really?” The taller stopped suddenly, luckily Youjin caught herself before knocking into the older.  
“Yes Ma’am.” She said with a nod eyes wide.

“What are you here for then?” The bird-lady asked, not even looking over her shoulder to spare Youjin a second glance.  
“Well… I want to start my career. Pledis’ style is a little… outdated and I’m the one who can fix it,” Youjin answered honestly.  
“Follow me.” They just continued walking, the middle aged woman not looking back over her shoulder and not acknowledging the younger’s reply.

“Wait outside for a moment.” The lady told her, pushing into a room and leaving her outside the door. Showing up only a few minutes later and beckoning her inside.

The conference room was large, and official looking. The walls were a grey slate color with a single white table sitting in the center. She appreciated the general aesthetic-ness of the room, but it didn’t make her any less nervous. It only made the setting more intimidating.

“This is Shin Youjin.” The bird-woman introduced her to a panel of three men in suits, their faces blank and emotionless. The whole sight scared her shitless, as she recognized Pledis’ CEO was the man sitting in the center of the panel. 

Youjin, you’ve got this. She told herself, putting on the most charismatic smile she could offer.

“Hello,” she greeted, politely bowing and shaking each of the men's’ hands individually, as rehearsed.  
“Take a seat.” The CEO demanded pointing to the single plastic fold up chair across from them at the table. She obliged him, taking the seat as gracefully as possible.

“Shin Youjin, born 1995… youngest applicant for the job. Degree in fashion design from Seoul National University, class of 2015…” a man read from the packet of information. She nodded along, all that information being truthful.  
“Have you had any past work experience?” The same man asked, reading off a clipboard.  
“I work as a barista five days a week, sir,” She told him, the nervous smile frozen on her face.   
“I mean with fashion. Do you have ANY experience in the industry?” The man demanded. She gulped trying to steady her voice.  
“I created a five piece knitwear collection on the budget of 200,000 won over the course of a week. All the pieces sold out, but I kept my favorite, I just couldn’t bear to let it go.” She said proudly.  
“And do you have it here with you today?”  
“Yes!” She joyfully unzipped the garment bag she had been carrying around and pulled out the handmade sweater she’s spent sleepless nights working on. It was the most detailed piece in her collection, perfectly structured and proportioned (she had used her college roommate’s boyfriend for sizing).

The sweater was a simple horizontal stripe, but with the colors dark green and eggplant purple. Unexpected, but they went well together especially when paired with light brown slacks. It was soft to the touch, and virtually indestructible. Each seam finished flawlessly nonvisible, you could even say the piece was done seamlessly… 

“It’s a silk cotton blend, with two percent elastic for the stretch,” she announced letting the company officials look it over. Proud by the awe on their faces as they felt how soft the knit was. Her moment of pride all but diminished when the CEO cleared his throat, his awed face being replaced with his usual scowl.

“Youjin.” The CEO said, his voice cold and intimidating.  
“Yes sir?” She gulped, trying to not collapse under the scrutinizing gaze.  
“My secretary informed me that you believe Pledis’ style is outdated, tend to give a reasoning?” Her blood ran cold, she hadn’t even been thinking when she said that. Taking a deep breath she knew it was her last chance to save her potential career.

“Well isn’t that why you fired the last stylist?” She asked, “The group’s style was questionable at best, I even have a few photos saved to my phone.” She sighed letting the truth out, pulling up a picture on her phone screenshotted from one of the MV’s of a half Asian looking idol with stringy long brown hair that didn’t suit his face very well.

“See look at this!” She almost laughed at how absurd the denim on denim long hair pulled back by bandana combination was. Sure the idol looked good, he was an idol that was his job, but he could look so much better if the company just let her have a chance at it.

The CEO watched her with an almost amused face as she broke down why Pledis’ style needed major updating.

“You need a new perspective a fresh mindset, I studied street fashion for years. I’ve been interested in fashion all my life. I know I’m young, but that’s what I can bring that to the company.” She panted finishing her long monologue in front of the three men and the secretary.

“Shin Youjin, do you know who I am?” The CEO asked, a gaunt smile playing off his lips. Watching her with an analytical glare.   
“Of course, you’re CEO Han Seongsu-ssi.” She answered without hesitation having done plenty of research in preparation for the interview.  
“Do you know what the group is called?” He raised an eyebrow.  
“Uhhh…” she’d seen their videos, her mind was just running a blank due to her being put on the spot. “Sixteen? Right? No wait… it’s like Seventeen or something.”  
“Mhmm.” The CEO wrote something down on his notepad. “Are there any final comments you’d like to make before you’re dismissed?”  
“No sir.” The bird-lady walked her back out to the waiting room.

“Good luck Youjin-ah.” The middle aged woman told her, cracking a faint smile.  
“Thanks Bird-Lady-ssi, I’ll need it.”

***

“Shitty hell…” she hissed sitting in the front seat of her beaten up car, parked outside the agency building. “I screwed it all up again…” She hit her head on the steering wheel for a good measure, noticing the tears running down her cheeks.

“Looks like I’ll be working in a coffee-shop all my life,” She whispered, her eye makeup running down her cheeks. She sat still for what felt like an hour, until her tears had dried.

“No Youjin-ah, it’s just back to square one.” She told herself, “You’ll get there eventually.” 

Twisting the key, her car sputtered not starting up.  
“Shit, how shitty can this day get,” She swore, twisting the key again. This time the engine humming to life. Sighing in relief she pulled out of the parking spot and was about to shift gears and drive forward when a figure ran across the road in front of her.

“AH!” She screeched slamming on the brakes, barely missing the person by a foot. The car screeched on the pavement coming to a full stop before it hit anything, her heart felt faint. 

No one had died or gotten hurt, that’s what mattered. Though she was almost positive her ribs were bruised from the seat belt digging into her skin.

She took a minute to catch her breath hand on her heart as it slowed down to a normal rate.

“Hey,” a muffled voice shook her out of her stupor as someone was knocking on the glass of her car window. “Are you alright?” He asked through the glass panel, peering in at her.

She looked to her right to meet the concerned eyes of a boy who had to be around her age. 

Observing him through the glass, he had golden tanned skin, and styled chestnut brown hair, a small birthmark on his left cheek right under his eye. His nose was adorably pointy, and his lips plump.

Rolling down her window, she couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the boy was up close (his skin literally had NO FLAWS). 

He had to be an idol… she assumed.

“Hey, are you alright?” He asked kneeling down so he was at eye level with her inside the car. Trying to fight the blush that spread across her cheeks as he looked her over for signs of injury.

Yep, he was an idol, she decided. Beauty like that doesn’t just come around in everyday life.

“Yeah, I’m good.” She sighed, “I’m just glad no one's hurt.”  
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have run out into the street like that.” He bowed his head looking pathetically down at his feet and pouting. POUTING GODDAMNIT. Noticing he was actually growing more and more serious about the matter, she didn’t want upset the boy.

“It’s okay, just watch it next time. I wouldn’t want you getting hurt.” She gave him her warmest smile, hoping he wouldn’t be all sad about the incident later. He seemed fairly cheerful, and making him upset was the last thing she wanted.

“Yeah, I will.” He nodded returning her grin with an even brighter one. His eyes disappearing into small crescents and his nose scrunching up in the most adorable way possible. 

She just stared at him for a second longer than she needed to. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest, practically skipping a beat when he cocked his head to the side, looking at her with wide curious eyes.

Feeling the weird urge to kiss the boys pink lips, she knew it was time for her to leave. Before she did something officially stupid.

“Watch yourself,” She told him flipping on her sunglasses to blind out the brightness that was the beautiful man’s smile. Without another word she rolled up her window and drove away, not looking back.


	2. Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Youjin hopefully gets the job then may or may not fall asleep in the middle of a hallway at 4AM on linoleum tiled floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I’ll be posting another’s chapter in like 5 mins, but I hope you all like this one! I promise they’ll meet again soon

Returning back to her cramped studio apartment in the grungier part of Seoul, she sighed hanging up the sweater back in her closet. Heating up a bowl of instant ramen for dinner and turning on the grainy television screen to some drama.

She zoned out watching the drama, thinking back to the interview. Knowing that she messed up, but couldn’t do anything about it was what stung the most. She had blatantly insulted the CEO’s company right in front of him, and then told him her opinion on how to fix it. It was a stupid risk she had took. Stupid and hotheaded just like she usually was.

Letting her thoughts stray to the flawless creature she had met after the interview, she desperately wanted to know who it was. He just had to be an idol with his perfectly structured face, and soft brown hair. His outfit could’ve used some work… but when you’ve got a face like that, clothes tend to not matter as much.

Much to her disappointment, after some brief internet searching on “handsome korean idol chestnut hair” she came up with squat. Too many images of different performers filling her screen. She tried to let the issue go, as she was probably never going to see the boy again.

She went back to her mundane job in the coffee shop downtown the next day. Surrounding herself with the scent of coffee grounds and sugar, she began drafting new designs on the napkins scattered across counters and tables. Not that she’d ever earn enough money to actually make the designs a reality.

Although being a stylist was her goal, her dream was to be a designer for her own label. She had chased this passion for design away from home, away from her parents who refused to fund her going to college for fashion and design. 

They’d practically disowned her after she’d moved out and gone against their wishes. Their wishes that she would get married young, have children, and live off of her husband’s income. She refused to comply, as usual.

She drowned herself neck deep in work, picking up extra shifts when she could, and before long two weeks had passed since the disaster interview. Humming along to some song, ‘Mansae’ playing through the coffee shop speakers, her phone rang in her pocket.

“Hello…” she picked it up, even though it was an unknown caller I.D.

“Shin Youjin? This is Pledis Entertainment calling you on behalf of the job you interviewed for…” She held her breath. 

“Do you think you can start on Monday?”  
“You’re serious?” She asked the lady, her voice raising a few octaves in surprise.   
“I’m serious. Miss Shin, can you come in on Monday?”  
“I can come in tomorrow!” She shrieked.  
“Wonderful, see you then.” The female voice told her.

The second after hanging up the phone, Youjin jumped up and down shrieking in joy.

“I GOT THE FUCKING JOB!” She screamed, not believing how or why, but just accepting it as a miracle. Everyone in the coffee shop stared at her as if she'd gone insane, but she didn’t care.

She woke up early the next morning, pulling out a satin vibrant green blouse, grey blazer and ankle length black skinny jeans. It was one of her favorite outfits to wear, and made her feel a little more confident walking into the world of fashion.

Driving her rust bucket of a car down to the Pledis main office where she checked in at the front desk. She was handed a nametag on a lanyard, hanging it around her neck ceremoniously.

“Youjin-Ah?” The same bird-woman secretary from the interview approached her, “it's nice to see you again. I was hoping the CEO would choose you.”  
“Yes, I’m so excited to be here.” She bowed to the older politely, practically buzzing with excited energy.  
“That’s wonderful, my name is Jung Sunhi, I’m the CEO’s head secretary, but you can call me Unnie if you’d like.” The lady with cutting features dressed head to toe in a pantsuit informed her.  
“Thank you, Unnie,” She grinned up at the older, already liking the straightforward speaking Secretary more.

“I’ll be giving you a tour of the premises for the first half of the day, but you’ve got some work to get started on.” Sunhi said handing her a map on a clipboard in case she ever got lost. 

She was led all around the office. The practice rooms were in the basement, the cafeteria and lobby on the first floor, then all the offices on the second and third. Pretty straightforward. 

“All the stylists’ offices are in the basement near the practice rooms.” Sunhi informed her, heels clicking on the concrete floor as she led Youjin down a few fluorescently lit corridors. “We already cleaned it out for you.”

She opened a door that was labeled: “SVT: STYLIST”

The office was huge, a computer and desk in one corner and a couch and mirror for fittings in the other. Even a sewing machine table was set up for her. There was a second room through an open door. It was a completely empty expansive wardrobe. The wracks hanging barren only a few sparse hangers on some.

“This is all mine?” She asked eyes as wide as saucers once she had finished taking in her surroundings.   
“Now there’s a few things you need to know about your job. You’re temporary now, the CEO will give you a budget for the project, and the details. You’re responsible for the complete styling and fitting of all thirteen members for the event, if it goes well, you’ll probably have the job, got it?”

“Yes Unnie.” She nodded, so she didn’t have the job YET, but she would soon. “Just one question…”  
“What is it?”  
“Why are they called Seventeen when there’s only thirteen members?” She asked confused.  
“I don’t know, ask Seungcheol-ah or something. You’ve got all the information in an email CEO-ssi sent you.” Sunhi told her.  
“Seungcheol…?” Youjin didn’t know who that even was.   
“Don’t worry about it, you’ll meet everyone soon enough.”  
“Thank you, Unnie,” She bowed her head, knowing that without the diligent secretary she would be completely lost.  
“I have a meeting I need to attend, but if you have any questions text me and I’ll get back to you,” Sunhi handed her a business card before parting from the office.

“Wow…” She sighed already feeling comfortable in the office that might become her new workspace. “This is incredible…”

She opened her computer to find that the CEO had emailed her a couple of times. Opening the first, it was a detailed document on each of the member’s heights and measurements. Saving the file to her computer and printing it out so she could bulletin it on the wall behind her desk.

Working in silence was torturous and made it slower for her, and she made a note to bring a speaker with her the next day.

“To: Shin Youjin

Congratulations on getting this far. Although you don’t have the job yet, I figured your past work would suit this group well enough. 

There is an upcoming event the boys need styling for, attached is the boys’ schedule, as you will be take care of them for their album photo shoot.

I expect you to work diligently. If you do a good job, you might just have a permanent position here at Pledis Entertainment. 

CEO Han Seongsu”

Her task was straightforward enough, with her given budget and timeline she needed to get the looks done for all thirteen boys. Get them fitted and do any alterations before the day of the big shoot.

With the boy’s schedules she was recommended to attend some of their dance practices to get a feel for the song. She also needed to get to know the boy’s themselves in order to get their style right.

“Hmmm…” She put together an inspiration board, with everything from sweatbands, to sneakers. Everything that she would pull from to complete the boy’s styles.

The first practice she could go to was late that night, at around 11PM. The boys obviously extremely busy, fitting in the dance practice after all their schedules were done.

She decided that in order to get a jump start on the project she’d have to go, take notes. If she got lucky maybe even meet Seventeen’s manager to talk with him about their comeback.

That day, she didn’t order anything instead linking everything she wanted to buy on a long document to later run by the CEO and get approval for the outfit concepts.

***

“So I take a left…” reading and following the map was tougher than it seemed. The underground Pledis basement being a tunnel system of doorways and storage rooms. “Shit… dead end…” she swore. 

Trudging around holding a map up to your face, and a clipboard tucked loosely under your arm threatening to clatter to the floor wasn’t ideal.  
“I should get new glasses…” she muttered disgruntled. Hearing voices echoing in the halls she knew it had to be someone. She tried following the sound instead of the map.

“SHIT,” she was knocked to the floor running straight into a boy who was sprinting down the hallway.  
“Sorry, I got to… bathroom,” He stuttered in heavily accented Korean.  
“Wait a minute… are you from Sevent…” but the younger boy was already gone. Disappeared back into the maze. The voices had also went quiet, so now she didn’t have a sound to follow. She decided to try to retrace her steps, winding up in front of the boy’s bathroom.

“Oh.” He stepped back in shock, seeing her waiting outside for him. “Hello,” he bowed. His face was narrow, his eyes thin and analytical. Obviously he was a foreigner from the heavy accent, though he definitely was an idol. From the way his hair was styled to the barely visible coat of makeup on his flawless skin. 

She bowed.  
“Are you a member of Seventeen?” She asked.  
“Yes?” He looked at her confused.  
“I’m uh… Jin.” She outstretched her hand, him taking it in a small polite handshake.  
“Are you lost?” He cut in simply giving her a knowing look.  
“Yes…” she admitted hanging her head, “please can you show me the way to the practice room?”  
“Practice room… sure I’m going there right now.” He shrugged, not smiling once throughout the entire encounter. With a wave of his hand she was following the foreign idol through the hallways he seemed very familiar with.

“Uh… what's your name?” She asked trying to break the weird silence they were in.  
“Minghao.” He simply replied, not feigning much interest.  
“Nice to meet you. I’m uh… Jin,” She stuttered out nervously.  
“You said that already.” The idol said bluntly, stopping at a glass door and opening it up to the dance studio. A whole crowd of boys were stretching all around the mirrored room.

“Thanks for guiding me… it’s my first day,” she bowed to Minghao, not wanting her first impression to go awry. He gave her a questioning glance.  
“No problem.” He said simply, joining the group of boys. Not really acknowledging her presence much further.

She tried to go unnoticed, not making eye contact with any of the members as she walked cautiously over to the manager.

“Manager-ssi,” she bowed.  
“Oh hello,” the middle aged manager returned the bow, “who are you again?”  
“Sorry, I’m Jin… I’m the new stylist… at least for now,” she said flustered in a hushed voice giving another bow for a good measure.  
“Ah, for now? You’re temporary?”  
“I hope to become permanent sir.” She grinned, clipping the map to the clipboard holding it loosely behind her back.

“Well some the boys were just about to get started with practice, are you here for a reason?”  
“I just need to hear the song.” She told him, “I’ve some ideas, but I’m not sure they’re suitable for their album photo shoot.”  
“Well go ahead and take a seat while we get started. The five members of the vocal team have vocal training now, so they won’t be here.” The manager smiled kindly, pointing to a couple fold up chairs in the back corner of the studio. 

She just nodded and bowed again, quietly slinking back into the shadows trying not to draw attention. Raising a few curious glances, as the eight boys took note of her presence, whispering things to each other.

Minghao gave her a half-bored, half-amused look, but he didn’t attempt explain to the others who she was. Just staying quiet as she assumed he usually did. His demeanor wasn’t shy per say, but he seemed to not enjoy everyone’s attention focused purely on him. He hid behind a taller chocolate haired boy, stealing quiet looks over at her from across the room.

“Okay, listen up. Let’s get started.” A raven haired boy stood up and clapped his hands. Probably the group’s leader from how he acted. A few groans from the boy’s arose, but no complaints. “Let’s run through ‘Mansae’ once for warmup and then learn more of the choreo to ‘Aju Nice’ Hoshi will take it from there.” He instructed. 

Turning around to type something into the computer, she finally got a good look at his face.

He had extremely pale skin, dark eyes and long eyelashes. His most noticeable feature, however, was his bright cherry red lips that looked like he had used a little to much lip tint. If Snow White was a dude, this idol would probably come near close. Also on a side note, when he pursed his lips he looked sort of like a camel…

“Ready?” He asked calling over his shoulder as some of the members shouted affirmatively.

She could now get to work on the member’s outfits, already having an idea of what to dress Minghao in. Probably a light blue, pastel. He would look good in a snap back… she thought taking a note on her sheet.

For the leader dude, she tuned out the music in order to sketch the outfit that would suit his figure. An oversized button up would look nice, maybe some casual ripped denim and white sneakers.

“Okay let’s move on… we still haven’t totally solidified the choreo yet, but let’s see how far we get,” a shorter more muscular idol stepped to the front of the crowd. 

She remembered the leader saying “Hoshi will take it from there” putting two and two together. Who she believed to be Hoshi, had thin lips, and small eyes, but the brightest smile. Possessing somewhat of a commanding presence, she was surprised HE wasn’t actually the leader of the group.

“1, 2, 3… Vernon don’t do that.” Hoshi called one of the members out, as he pointed out brown haired familiar looking idol.

She almost gasped aloud, this was the same idol who used to have that AWFUL long brown hair and denim on denim outfit from the music video. He looked a billion times better with shorter sandy hair. Vernon… she assigned the name to him. Knowing she’d probably forget all the names later anyways.

“And the chorus, one two three…” Hoshi called out from the front. To her eyes, the dance was a little awkward, the boy’s looping their thumbs through the belt loops of their jeans in an awkward fashion.

“And two three…”   
“ACK…” on of the boy’s screeched as he had ripped the belt loop from his pants from pulling on it too tight. Hoshi sighed.  
“Why does this always happen?” He groaned.  
“Why don’t we scrap the idea?” The leader who resembled a camel spoke up.  
“I really wanted a prop dance though, hyung…” Hoshi whined.  
“How about some other prop?” The tallest idol present, a dark haired idol who looked like a model, suggested.  
“I’ll think it over, let’s take five…” Hoshi called out as all the boys dispersed to get water.

Watching the dance then replaying it in her head, Youjin suddenly had a thought. Belt loops might not work, but what about doing the same dance with suspenders? They were more durable and would look less awkward.

She stood up from her chair in the corner, noticing Minghao sending her a questioning look before she made her way cautiously over to where Hoshi was standing.

“Um excuse me,” she tapped him on the shoulder.  
“Hm?” He turned around surprised. “Oh hello, who are you?” He bowed, her returning the gesture.  
“Your new stylist. I’m Youjin, but just call me Jin.” She explained, “I actually… had an idea for a props dance.”  
“Oh?” He looked surprised. “Go on!” Encouraging her to speak up with the idea.  
“What if you did the same dance, except with suspenders?” She said.  
“Suspenders… like… the straps that hold up your pants?” He asked.  
“Yeah! They’d be more elastic though, so they could stretch and wouldn’t snap.” She beamed.  
“That just might work good idea…” he said eyes wide. “Have you introduced yourself to the others yet?”  
“Huh? Not yet,” she shook her head, smiling as his enthusiastic smile and bouncy attitude was contagious.  
“Let me.” He offered, “I’m Soonyoung by the way, but you can just call me Hoshi.”  
“Nice to meet you,” She smiled bowing slightly.

“HEY GUYS!” Hoshi shouted, obviously not minding the attention when everyone stared over at the two. “Come over here.” He beckoned.

Less than a second later eight members of Seventeen were sitting in a circle on the floor. The manager looked on with a watchful eye.

“This is our new Stylist-ssi,” Hoshi gestured to the short haired girl sitting next to him.  
“Hi I’m…” she smiled, “I’m Youjin, but you can just call me Jin if you’d like.” She bowed in her seat. “I’m PENDING as your stylist so I don’t know if I’ll get the job yet…”  
“Good luck,” Some of the boy’s told her. She smiled back grateful for the encouragement.

“Let’s do introductions. The vocal unit is not here, but they can introduce themselves later.” The Snow White camel-ish looking boy announced, “I’m leader of Seventeen, and Seventeen’s hip hop unit. Seungcheol, stage name S. Coups…” he bowed.  
“Lee Chan, the maknae,” a shorter boy with sharp looking teeth smiled brightly from beside the leader.   
“Wen Junhui, call me Jun.” the next was a boy that looked uncannily like Kim Heechul, the dark haired idol that Minghao was hiding behind earlier. Minghao waved nonchalantly.  
“We already met.” He shrugged, passing up on the introduction. 

The model-eque tallest member, Mingyu sat next to him, then another member of the hip hop team, Wonwoo introduced himself.

“I’m Vernon,” the half Korean boy who used to have stringy long brown hair greeted cheerfully. She nodded recognizing him.  
“And I’m Naega Hosh… 10 hour 10 minute the one and only,” the cheerful dancer sitting on her right grinned the brightest grin. “Now tell everyone about the idea you had for our choreo Jin-noona…”  
“Right!” She brightened at the words, “because you want a props dance, what about if you used suspenders? I could design them to fit your concept, and so they’re elastic enough to withstand not snapping when you dance,”  
“That’s a great idea!” Seungcheol exclaimed happily.  
“I think it would work…” Hoshi nodded.  
“I could go work on them right now,” she told him.  
“Really?” Hoshi asked eyes wide.  
“Yeah!” She nodded enthusiastically.  
“Great!” Seungcheol exclaimed, “let’s get back to practice and let her work in peace.” She chuckled.

“You think you could have them done by tomorrow’s dance practice?” Hoshi asked her skeptically.  
“Yeah, I can sure try.” She beamed, waving goodbye to the eight members she had met. They all seemed friendly enough, but she wasn’t sure about Minghao. He didn’t seem to smile much, and kept giving her suspicious looks.

Finding her way back to her office, she got started knowing how to make a pair of suspenders from an old pattern she drafted during design school. It would be an overnight project, but who doesn’t enjoy pulling an all-nighter their first day of a job?

She went out to the fabric store, and bought all the materials she needed for the suspenders. Elastic string and buckles, thread, and leather. Luckily the sewing machine in the office worked like a charm, she plugged it in and pulled her spool of thread through all the way.

“Hmmm hey Doctor Doctor, please save me… it’s driving me crazy. Don’t beat around the bush hear me say…” she hated the silence filled workroom, knowing that she never performed her best work when in the silence. So she sang to herself, hoping no one could hear.  
“Being sober is hard for me. I can’t do anything, being sober is the thing I hate most. I can’t go to sleep without you…” she sang, a little off key, but too immersed in her work to care.

“You have a good voice.” She almost shrieked, noticing that the door to her office was wide open the figure of a man standing in it.  
“Shit, you scared me.” She scolded, putting her work down on the table top.  
“Sorry,” it was the leader, who introduced himself as Seungcheol earlier. “Practice just ended and I wanted to make sure you were settling in okay.”  
“I’m fine Seungcheol-ssi, just working on the props for tomorrow,” She explained showing him the half finished stitching on one of the suspenders.  
“Don’t overwork yourself…” He frowned.  
“Pfff I could never.” She tried to reassure him, “Go get some rest.”  
“Okay, see you soon, Noona,” He bowed, shutting the door behind him.

*** 

She didn’t know what time it was when she finished them. All thirteen adjustable, indestructible, sets of black suspenders with silver buckles.

“Shit it’s 4AM…” She exclaimed checking her phone which was running low on battery, “luckily I’m done…” Wandering in the hallways trying to find her way to the elevators she had no clue where she was. 

She took out her map and sat down in front of the practice room door trying to get her bearings straight. Unknowingly her eyes slowly began drooping and tiredness washed over her like a monsoon. Slumping over in her seated position.


	3. Smiling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second time Youjin feels like her heart is doing things that can’t be healthy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll update again soon haha, I hope you’re enjoying this fic so far <3

“Oh shit… she looks dead…”  
“I don’t think she’s dead, Seungkwan.”  
Two voices woke her up, realizing she had fallen asleep on the linoleum floor of the hallway.

“Hmmm I’m not dead, I’m not dead,” She blinked her eyes open, awakening from sleep. All her muscles hurt from sleeping on the cold hard ground overnight.  
“Are you okay?” a concerned voice asked, her vision finally clearing. In front of her was a boy with rounded cheeks, and w shaped lips. He bent down offering his hand to help her stand up.

“Yeah yeah I’m good,” She yawned standing up and meeting the second of the two. A thin boy with the longest brown hair that even she was envious of.

“You must work here, but I haven’t seen you around. I’m Boo Seungkwan.” The boy with the adorable chubby cheeks bowed.  
“Jeonghan,” The long haired boy also bowed, his hair swooshing as he stood up.

“Jin, I’m new.” She stated smiling nervously.  
“May I ask WHY you were asleep on the floor?” Jeonghan laughed an amused chuckle.  
“Haha long story,” She shrugged flushing with embarrassment.  
“We’ve got time before the others arrive.” Seungkwan smiled genuinely, “come hang out before dance practice starts,”  
“Ah you’re idols?” She asked unsurprised. They obviously looked and dressed like idols.  
“Yeah, we’re singers,” Seungkwan grinned, “here come on in,” They shoved open the door to the practice room, her following them inside.  
“I bet you would be less sore if you stretched with us.” Jeonghan joked, sitting next to Seungkwan on the floor and touching his toes.  
“Sure, why not?” She laughed, kicking off her heeled wedges and setting them down by the practice room door.

“So why were you sleeping on the floor? And how is your hair still as perfect as it?” Seungkwan asked laughing and pulling at her long raven colored hair.  
“Want the long story or the short story?” She laughed.  
“Tell us the whole thing.” Jeonghan nodded, already slightly intrigued. 

She told the two all about her disaster interview with the CEO, leaving out the part about meeting the handsome idol and almost running him over. She was halfway through her part about the suspenders and prop dance when Seungkwan interrupted her.

“Wait you mean Hoshi-hyung? The dance team leader?” He cut in.  
“Yeah, how do you know Hoshi-ssi?” She asked confused.  
“You’re OUR new stylist, Jin-ssi. We’re part of Seventeen’s vocal team,” Jeonghan told her calmly.  
“REALLY?” She half shrieked.  
“Yeah,” The long haired boy laughed at her shocked expression, “It’s nice to meet you,” he bowed slightly.  
“So who was the cold one that you thought didn’t like you?” Seungkwan asked.  
“I’m not saying a name now that you know the guy!” She defended, having told them all about the idol who didn’t seem to like her very much.  
“My money is on… Minghao…” Jeonghan chuckled, “him or Woozi-hyung, but you didn’t meet Woozi-hyung yet.”   
“Well… yeah… it was Minghao,” She stuttered out a reply, before Seungkwan cut in reassuringly.

“He’s a little of-standish at first, but Minghao-hyung is one of the nicest people after you get to know him.” the idol said.  
“Oh I hope that’s true.” She laughed nervously.  
“Anyway you were on your suggestion about suspenders?” Jeonghan prompted.  
“Well I suggested suspenders and then I ran off to go make some for the team. I finished all thirteen sets when I got lost in this maze of a basement. Sat down for a second to check the map, and fell asleep…” She shrugged.  
“Wow, you stayed up ALL night?” Seungkwan’s eyes widened.  
“Please, it’s not like you haven’t pulled all nighters to learn choreo and stuff.” She shot back.  
“Still, it was your first day…” Jeonghan sighed, “I couldn’t imagine getting less than seven hours of sleep a day…”  
“Hyung is always sleepy, he can fall asleep anywhere at any time.” Seungkwan joked, jabbing his hyung on the shoulder playfully.  
“Hey!” The two started playfully fighting around on the floor when she heard the practice room door open behind her.

“Oh do we have a new member?” A crystal clear voice said, that she knew from somewhere. She could recognize it… but didn’t know where from.

“Woozi, Seokmin, Jisoo-yah, this is Jin-noona our new stylist,” Jeonghan called gesturing to her.  
“Hi I’m…” She stood up barefooted and turned around.

“YOU!” A familiar face fell in shock.  
“IT’S YOU!” She shrieked. It was the boy who ran out into the street. She knew he had to be an idol. His creased smiling eyes went wide, and jaw fell. Even with the slight wrinkle in his forehead, he was still just as beautiful as before. She was dazed memorizing each of his features, his adorable chestnut colored hair tousled messily and falling into his warm eyes.

“You know each other?” Jeonghan asked breaking her out of her daze.  
“Yeah… she almost ran me over!” He smiled, brightening up the mood in the room instantly. She flushed but tried to mask it with anger.  
“Hey! You ran out into the street it’s not my fault my piece of trash car doesn’t have a good brake.” She retorted, but couldn’t stop smiling for some reason.  
“Haha I should’ve watched where I was going, sorry Noona,” He directed his bright smile at her, and she froze feeling her heart pounding loudly in her chest, hoping no one could hear it. “I’m Seokmin by the way,” he bowed. Even his name was perfect. It was a soft name, and easy to say. She decided that she’d like to say his name aloud.  
“I… I’m Jin.” She politely bowed back trying to hide her pink face from plain view.  
“That’s Woozi-hyung, and Jisoo-hyung.” he pointed to a shorter boy with a squishy face, and a lankier boy with perfectly styled raven colored hair.

“Nice to meet you.” the taller idol, Jisoo, smiled, offering his hand. He had an accent, and she assumed he probably wasn’t from Korea by the way he was accustomed to shaking peoples’ hands instead of bowing.  
“Let me guess… America?” She smirked, taking his hand and shaking it in a rehearsed motion.  
“LA,” Jisoo nodded, “you can call me Joshua if you’d like,”  
“Some of my family lives in New York.” She said in somewhat accented but relatively fluent English.  
“Really?” He smiled happy to have encountered another English speaker.  
“Yeah, I’m halfway to fluent.” She laughed. Joshua or Jisoo, whichever his name was, had a very calming voice. She noticed it right away. It was the kind of voice that put you in a trance and made you want to listen even more.

“AND THIS IS WOOZI!” Seokmin cut in their English conversation, shoving a shorter boy between her and Joshua, announcing the presence of the idol who hadn’t spoken a word since he arrived.  
“Nice to meet you,” She bowed.  
“Mhmm,” He returned the gesture respectfully and deadly calm.

“Sorry for interrupting your practice, I was just lost…” she said sheepishly cringing.  
“She was sleeping on the floor, hyungs,” Seungkwan laughed, elbowing her side. “We thought she was dead!”  
“Seungkwan thought she was dead.” Jeonghan clarified with a lazy smile, “nice to meet you stylist-noona. I hope you get the job,”  
“Ah thank you Jeonghan-ssi.” She smiled, slipping her bare feet into her shoes. “Nice to meet you all,”

“See you soon,” Seokmin said chipperly giving her an adorable eye-smile, holding up a peace sign. His nose crinkled up in happiness.  
“Yeah,” She couldn’t help that she blushed pink, leaving the room with a small wave and a chorus of ‘bye noona’.

She took a deep breath shutting the door behind her. The same idol who’s visuals had literally made Youjin’s heart race was also a member of Seventeen… someone who she’d be working for. Great.

“Idiot.” She scolded herself, “don’t go catching feelings for anyone.”


	4. Fitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it is a crush, but just a small one. A tiny harmless bit of feelings that would go away eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’re enjoying the story so far :) the fic is all prewritten so I can start posting more of it this week. HOPE YOU ARE AS DESPERATELY IN LOVE WITH SEOKMIN AS I AM

“To: CEO-ssi

I hope your day is going well. I have a few ideas for the outfits for the shoot, look these images over when you have the time. 

Jin.”

She spent the day working on the vocal units concepts, finding fun inspiration as well as weeding out the deals with brands. Collapsing in her desk chair at the end of the day, and unwillingly falling asleep.

“I’d hate to wake her… she looks so peaceful…” Seokmin’s voice invaded her consciousness as she slowly awoke from her sleep.  
“We need those suspenders though if this is going to work…” His name was… Hoshi? She didn’t remember exactly. All she thought of was Seokmin’s adorable eye smile.  
“Oh she finished those I think, that’s what Jeonghan-hyung said…” 

“In the bag,” she shocked the two boys who believed her to be asleep. Pointing over at the tote bag on the sewing table, eyes still tightly closed.

“Noona, you need to get your rest. Go home,” Seokmin said in a soft voice gently shaking her awake. Hearing the concern in his voice she squinted up at the beautiful idol. Seeing her eyes open he smiled down at her in her drowsy state.

“Good morning,” he said sweetly. She just groaned sitting up straight in the seat and rubbing her eyes.  
“God I feel like death. What time is it?” She asked the two.  
“It’s 11PM, Noona,” Hoshi informed her showing her his phone screen which read 11:23.  
“Get home, Jin.” Seokmin said seriously. She nodded.  
“I will, I will. Now go test out that dance with the suspenders. I hope it works out.”  
“I’m sure it will.” Hoshi smiled, “thanks for the hard work, Noona,”   
“I’m just doing my job.” She chuckled.  
“Thank you.” Seokmin bowed before shutting the door behind him. She waved as the two idols disappeared with the bag of suspenders hoping they knew how to put them on.

With tired thoughts and a racing heart, she packed up her belongings and found her way out of the building successfully back to the parking lot. Taking a few minutes to let her ancient car start up. Returning to her petite apartment after her second day at work.

“I feel like shit…” She mused kicking off her shoes in the front doorway, and dropping her handbag. Taking a steaming shower, washing off all the dirty floor-germs she changed into an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. Checking her laptop before heading to bed she noticed the CEO emailed her back approving the outfit concepts.

“Hell yes!” She shouted pumping her fist in the air in victory. Determined, she would GET that job.

***

‘Just like you’ve been shot, BANG BANG BANG’

Her alarm went off. Sitting up and yawning she flailed limpy at the device hoping to shut it up somehow. She did her makeup in the mirror, tying her long ebony hair up in a high ponytail, slipping into a red printed silk cardigan bought from a discount store in Chinatown and worn black combat boots. Remembering this time to bring along a speaker and headphones so she wouldn’t have to work in silence.

“Drop it like… niliria, niliria…” She sang cracking open her office door and turning all the computers on. Also plugging in her ancient bluetooth speaker and putting on her ‘Let’s be Productive’ playlist.

“Baby, miss you. Why do I keep thinking about you?” she sang softly, finishing ordering the last piece of the performance team’s shoot outfits based on the sketches she had put together. 

There would be a few alterations she’d need to do, as well as a formal fitting with the group, especially on Junhui’s outfit. The one with the most pieces in his ensemble.

“I can’t meet someone else, I don’t want to.” She hummed, “whether I love you or hate you…”

Using the charts she’d made for each of the idols sizing, she created a checklist of the garments she’d left to make and order.

When she heard someone knocking at her door she merely called a short, “come in.” turning down the music and sitting straighter in her chair.

“Hey,”  
“Oh ‘sup,” She nodded looking up from the screen, “you done with dance practice already?”  
“No, we ran into some complications…” Seungcheol informed her.  
“What do you mean by ‘complications’?” She asked.  
“We don’t know how suspenders work, we had Manager-ssi fasten them last night, but he’s not here this morning. Hoshi sent me to see if you were in.” The leader informed her.  
“Yeah, lead the way,” She nodded saving the files on her computer and trailing the younger boy out of the room. Seungcheol walked with long strides prompting Youjin to try and keep up.

“JIN-NOONA! We’re saved!” Seungkwan called in a fake dramatic voice. From what she could see, all thirteen members were assembled in the practice room.

“Who’s first?” She asked beckoning Seungcheol over. “I’ll show everyone how to clip them.” She felt everyone’s attention shift to her hands which were holding up two suspender straps. She held it up and measured it on Seungcheol’s outstretched arm.  
“Here, and you clip it here.” She showed them. “Then you turn around, and have someone clip it here for the back buckle. Stop moving!” She hit Seungcheol’s arm for squirming.

“Leader-hyung is ticklish, Noona,” Seungkwan whispered loudly so everyone could hear.  
“OH he is?” She smirked evilly, “TICKLE ATTACK” she shouted tickling the Seventeen leader’s sides. He was on the floor laughing as all the boys surrounding him began tickling him as well.

She laughed watching the scene play out from the mirrored wall of the practice room.

“I hope you get the job, Jin-noona.” A quiet voice from beside her said. She smiled over at Minghao who was also holding back from joining the dog pile. He didn’t make eye contact with her, or even acknowledge his previous words, but she couldn’t have been more thankful.

Of course Seokmin was in the center of the pile shouting and laughing, collapsing on the floor when Seungcheol finally had had enough. Everyone was on the floor both panting and laughing.

“So that’s how you put on suspenders.” She announced, unable to erase the smile from her face.  
“Thanks noona.” Hoshi called. Supervising as all the boys helped each other with the suspenders.  
“I uh think I did something wrong…” Seokmin tapped her on the shoulder. She couldn’t NOT laugh at the awkward way he was strung up in the suspender bands.  
“You think?” She laughed, “let me do it.”

She didn’t realize how close she was to the idol until she unhooked the front two buckles and looked up. Almost pressed up against his chest, she stumbled backwards. Her lips mere inches from the skin of his neck.

“Sorry.” She coughed, “here turn around for me.” he did so, as she untangled the twisted suspender bands. Hoping no one noticed her fierce blush. 

“What did you do to these things?” She laughed finally untucking the band from where it was stuck in his belt loop, fingers lightly brushing his side.  
“Sorry, Noona,” He grinned sheepishly looking over his shoulder to meet her eyes. She gulped again, feeling hot under his gaze. Snap out of it, Jin... She told herself.  
“Here turn around again,” She hurriedly clipped the bands on his jeans, patting his shoulder when she finished, “all done.”  
“Thanks Noona! I’m sure you’ll become our stylist soon.” He eye-smiled again and this was getting too dangerous for her heart.

“I better get going,” She announced quickly, waving to the group before returning to her office with a flushed face. This sucks… 

***

Between receiving packages with the clothes for the photoshoot, she was working on a special project for the boy’s music video and comeback stages. Just an extra something to make their stage costumes even better than they would be.

It was a week until she had received everything she had ordered through the extra speedy Korean mail system. She was still a good 400,000 won under budget as well, so if the outfits needed anything she could have some wiggle room. She hadn’t seen the boys since the dance practice, but fittings were going to happen the next few days so she prepared all the garments on hangers in the back room.

“Hello?” A voice called over her blaring music.  
“Oh hey,” She waved, turning down the track. “Chan right?” She asked bowing slightly, “the maknae on top?”  
“Yeah that’s me!” He grinned.  
“Good, I’ve got your outfit right… here…” She pulled out a garment bag with a label that said ‘DINO’ on it. “Okay, so…” she unzipped the bag taking out a graphic t shirt, a collared shirt to go over it and a pair of patterned basketball shorts in a red and blue geometric print. “Your outfit’s the only one with this red color in it. I hope it makes you stand out.” She smiled pointing to the back fitting room where he closed the door behind him. Coming out a moment later dressed in the ensemble.

“Here,” She positioned him on the platform in the center of the mirrors. “These white sneakers and this snapback…” She pulled a matching red colored baseball cap out of the shelves.  
“This looks cool Noona!” He said enthusiastically looking at himself in the floor length mirrors.   
“No… wait take off the button up and tie it around your waist.” She instructed. He did so, and the outfit looked so much better. “Okay stay still!” She instructed taking out the company’s professional camera and photographing Chan’s complete outfit at a front, back, and side angle.

“I hope you like it.” She smiled when the group’s maknae kept observing himself in the mirrors.  
“Yeah, it looks great Noona, I’m sure you’ll get the job seeing how good at this you are…”  
“It’s just ONE out of thirteen down Chan-yah.” She laughed. “I’m glad you’re happy with it. I don’t have to make any alterations either.”

She fitted Mingyu next, who seemed to be differing from his usual puppy dog like behavior and acting kind of moody.  
“What’s up?” She asked, pinning his blue and white sweatshirt in a place she’d have to restitch.  
“Nothing, Noona,” He frowned again.  
“Come on, you can tell me,” She smiled, gently fixing the beanie perched on top of his head.  
“Minghao and I just got into a little squabble earlier, that’s all…” The tallest member explained with a shrug.  
“What was it about?” She pressed the issue.  
“He did something wrong on a live broadcast so I scolded him for it, and he got all shut off like he usually gets when I criticize him for something…” Mingyu sighed, “I just wish he wouldn’t take it so personally…”  
“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Min. Now stand still…” She snapped the three pictures, making a note on her clipboard for the alteration, “if you explain to him that you just meant well, everything will be fine.”  
“I hope he listens to me,” Mingyu hung his head.  
“All you can do is hope.” She smiled brightening his spirits, “and if it doesn’t work, I’ll talk some sense into him. Let noona handle it,”  
“Thanks Noona,” He beamed down at her from his towering height.  
“Now go change and get back to practice,” She hit his arm, pushing him to the closet where he changed and then left with a smile and a wave.

Wonwoo was tough to talk with, she tried asking him about his life in the dorm, but he just seemed kind of emotionless about everything. She would need to work on conversing with him better next time, as the visit was silent and awkward.

Vernon’s visit was a little better. He talked about Drake a lot, which she also knew a lot about inputting her comments and criticisms when made available. In general Vernon was such a goofball always pulling funny faces in the mirror, and dancing along to her Big Bang album playing softly in the background. She couldn’t do much more then laugh at the idol.

She went through Jeonghan’s fitting talking about hair, and his irregular sleep schedule to which she made him promise to get more sleep in the future. Joshua was fun to talk to in English, as she asked what life was like on the West Coast versus the East coast.

It was around the halfway mark when Seokmin came in.

“Jin-noona!” He bowed energetically entering her office.  
“You seem to be in a good mood,” She mused, his contagious smile rubbing off on her. Vowing not to let herself blush this time around.  
“Well I get to visit you, don’t I?” He laughed.  
“Aish cut it out,” She shook her head unable to break the smile decorating her face. “Here’s your outfit, go change,” Handing him the plastic garment bag and shoving him towards the back room where he locked the door.

“That looks good,” she smiled, almost congratulating herself on a job well done when he came out of the changing room. Although he could probably pull of anything with a face like that. The clothes brought out the honey color of his skin and chestnut colored hair. 

“Thanks,” he grinned and laughed for no reason at all.  
“Here, I need to cuff these properly…” She stood him up on the platform and worked on cuffing the sleeves of the blue t-shirt underlay. Her fingers grazing his tanned muscular arms, sending small tingles through her hands that brushed his honey skin. He flinched a little under the touches at first, but stayed as still as possible so she could pin the fabric back to hem it later.

“So you’re the group’s main vocalist?” She asked softly not trying to be too obnoxiously loud when she was just a foot from his ear, adjusting the bottom seam of the shirt. Her fingers poking his side playfully. She willed her blush to go away completely.

“Hm? I’m one of them.” he smiled modestly.  
“I have to hear you sing sometime then,” She added, fussing with the tab on the pants a little more before grabbing something from the shelves.  
“I’m really not THAT great.” he chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m more of the group’s comic relief than anything.”   
“You wouldn’t be a main vocalist if you weren’t THAT great.” She said, feeling a sense of pride wash over her when he blushed pink from being complimented. Making a mental note to compliment him more.

“Here, this sweatband will match the wristbands.” She slid the blue terry cloth sweatband over his hair. Standing on her tiptoes to slip it on. “Annnd parfecto!” She exclaimed, fluffing his hair up a little, too occupied to realize that her lips were extremely close to brushing his cheek. She practically jumped backwards, trying to make it look as natural as possible. Grabbing the camera off her desk. 

“Strike a pose!” She called adjusting the lens. He did one of those runway model poses, pursing his lips out like a fish.

“Chic!” She laughed, snapping a couple more shots than necessary before gesturing him to stand up straight.

“Bye Noona…” He bowed smiling as bright as the sun.  
“You’re going to look great for the shoot,” She called as he was leaving the office.  
“All thanks to you.” and then he was gone the only evidence of him ever being there was the photos on the camera and the pins on the garments.

Maybe it is a crush, but just a small one. A tiny harmless bit of feelings that would go away eventually.

She fitted Hoshi as the last person that day. He was always so energetic, it was crazy how he could keep that energy for hours even with hours long dance practices.

“Yeah, it looks great.” She nodded snapping the pictures.  
“Sooo have you chosen a bias yet?” He asked wiggling his eyebrows.  
“A bias?” She asked confused.  
“You know, a bias! Your favorite member!” He pressed the question.  
“Uhhh does G-Dragon count for anything?” she joked.  
“Ah you won’t say will you?” Hoshi pouted.  
“Nope.”  
“Noooona,” He whined, but they both were stubborn enough to not let the topic go, “I’ll find out eventually.”


	5. Befriending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Minghao didn’t totally hate her after all.

Living a life where you only worried about yourself seemed like loneliness, but Youjin was getting by lonely or not. Sometimes she would get spectacularly lonely, and go out to a busy place to just sit and watch people pass by. To wonder about their life, what their backstory was.

Tonight was one of those evenings, sitting in the company cafeteria, sipping on some blend of herbal teas with just enough caffeine to keep her hyperaware. There were employees of all types sitting around, chatting on the phone or with another person. Some, like Youjin, were alone. But those alone were usually working diligently on something.

“May I sit?” A cold voice asked.  
“Yeah, go ahead.” She gestured loosely to the seat across from her. Minghao deeply sighing as he sunk into the chair. “Not eating dinner with the boys?”  
“Nah.” he shook his head.  
“I heard about the argument with Mingyu,” She said softly.  
“Oh? Did he rant to you about how improper I was being on broadcast?” the foreign idol snorted in derivation.  
“No,” She shook her head, “He just wanted you to hear him out,”  
“Well I heard him.” the boy scowled. She wasn’t much to argue with him anyways.  
“Do you need dinner?” She asked.  
“Nah, I just need some time to sit.” He replied, eyes closing shut behind wide framed glasses.

She understood what he meant. Being an idol and having a schedule packed full was extremely stressful, sometimes everyone just needed a break to decompress. She hoped all the members of Seventeen had a way they could unwind and relax.

Although she offered to buy the foreign idol food, she doubted she had enough money in her pocket to even buy herself her meal. Maybe some instant rice from the convenience store would do. As if on cue her stomach growled loudly, snapping Minghao out of his contemplative state.

“You didn’t eat dinner yet.” he stated plainly. She shook her head.  
“Not hungry,” Shrugging.  
“You shouldn’t starve yourself.” he told her, and it felt more like a command than a suggestion.  
“Not like I have a choice…” She snorted under her breath. The other, of course picked up on this, eyes widening.  
“What do you mean?” he demanded.  
“I… I haven’t gotten my paycheck yet,” She told him softly, as if that would explain her complete lack of pocket money. She wasn’t even sure if she had the job in the first place, or if the CEO would start paying her for her work once she was an official company employee.

“You’re broke? Ask your parents for heaven’s sake…” Minghao then mumbled something she understood to be Mandarin. She chose to be honest with him knowing that if she was to be honest with anyone, it would be Minghao. Who was so brutally himself every second of the day.   
“I can’t.”  
“If you’re not eating, this isn’t a pride thing anymore, you need some money.” He said concerned.  
“It’s not my pride that’s keeping me from contacting my parents.” She said a little harsher than she intended, “They disowned me years ago, after I decided I was going to pursue design and art.” His jaw dropped, and his large eyes widened even more in shock.  
“I… I’m so sorry…” He said in accented Korean.

“Nah don’t be. Look at where I am now?” she laughed, “plus it’s easier just worrying about myself and not anyone else.”  
“Let me buy you food.” he said determined.  
“No, you shouldn’t.” She denied, “I’m not hungry, I’ll have some food when I get home,”  
“Let ME buy you some food.” He insisted, “come on, what are you still sitting there for?” he demanded and she just followed him out of the cafeteria. “One problem…” he sighed, “I don’t have a car…”  
“I’ll drive, just tell me where,” she grinned over at the taller boy.

He told her about his trip from China, his dance team and b-boying. She enjoyed listening to him talk in fractured accented korean, he had a way with storytelling that really caught your attention and held it. Maybe because he usually didn’t talk very often, or maybe it was just his natural charisma. 

Minghao was decked out in a mask and hat, wearing baggy sweats to not be recognized. She was wearing a company tag deeming her a worker for Pledis as well as a mask.

They arrived at a Chinese restaurant, as Minghao said a few words in Mandarin to an older lady who seemed to recognize him. The two were placed at a table near the very back of the restaurant hidden from plain sight.

“Where’s Junhui? Trade him out for your girlfriend?” The same older Chinese lady asked in broken Korean. Raising her eyebrows.  
“I didn’t get the chance to ask him to come with. She’s just my stylist,” he clarified.  
“I work for him.” She said with a laugh. The lady nodded understanding, handing the two their menus.  
“Just order what looks good.” He told her pointing to the menu. He looked obviously more relaxed since when he first sat down across from her in the cafeteria.

“You really don’t have to do this,” She smiled.  
“What? I would let my stylist starve? No way.” He shook his head, returning the smile with an inward grin of his own. It wasn’t bright like Hoshi’s or contagious like Seokmin’s, but it comforted her to see him smiling finally.

“So why are you called The8?” She asked curious.  
“In China, 8 is the luckiest number.” He told her, “plus it looks like an infinity sign when you turn it on it’s side. I made up the name a while ago and it just stuck,”  
“Hmmm I’ve never thought of it like that…” she nodded.  
“I used to use it for bboy competitions and stuff.” He shrugged.  
“Do you ever worry about like breaking your head open when you bboy?”  
“Oh all the time.” He laughed aloud, “that’s the thrill though, isn’t it?”  
“Mhmm.” She nodded. Suddenly Minghao’s phone started buzzing in his pocket.

“It’s Jun-hyung…” he told her, taking the call and stepping out of the booth. 

“Yeah I’m fine… I’ll tell you about it when I get home… don’t worry I can take a taxi or Jin can drive me… yeah I’m eating with Noona… HYUNG NO IT’S NOT A DATE… Kay see you soon hyung…”

She couldn’t help but catch the phrases as they left his mouth.  
“That was just Jun-hyung. He worries too much for me,” Minghao sighed, a small smile gracing his features.  
“It’s nice though.” She mused.  
“Nice?”  
“Yeah to have someone worrying about you,” She smiled, he nodded biting his lip.  
“Since I was a trainee Junhui-hyung’s always taken such good care of me. Translating things and taking me to restaurants that remind me of home,” Minghao gestured to the surroundings.  
“He brought you here first?” She smiled.  
“Yeah, then we became regulars,” He nodded.  
“It would be cool if you two could collaborate on something in Mandarin,” she mused.  
“I wish the CEO would let us.” Minghao smiled at the idea, “I have so many ideas…”

They ordered whatever Minghao suggested for her, as well as one bottle of Soju just so he could clear his head and de-stress. Plus she was the one to be driving him home later. They exchanged phone numbers as any friends would do, totally not because of the alcohol in Minghao’s system.

“And then… I PUSHED Mingyu out of the frame!” Minghao laughed a little tipsy.  
“You and Mingyu are honestly like Tom and Jerry,” Youjin said shaking her head.  
“I mean as long as I get to be Jerry…” Minghao started laughing harder this time, and she knew it was time to take him off the Soju. He paid the bill without showing it to her so she couldn’t try to pay him back in the future.

Minghao was a loud drunk, the total opposite from his usual demeanor.  
“And take a right… did I say right? I meant left?” So by the time she had arrived at Seventeen’s dorm house, it was already dark. She saw two figures waiting on the lawn outside the building.

“Hyunggg… I’m homeee…” Minghao called from the passenger side window. The dancer who looked a lot like Kim Heechul approached her car.  
“Hey,” she greeted.  
“He’s drunk…” the idol wondered aloud.  
“Junhui hyunggg carry me inside!” The Chinese idol sitting next to her practically begged. Youjin couldn’t hold back a laugh, Junhui had literally been waiting for Minghao’s return, how adorable was that…

“Sorry, I told him he could drink as much as he wanted because I was driving.” She smiled sympathetically when the second figure stood up and made his way over to the car.  
“Hey,” Seokmin greeted.  
“Hi…” she blushed at the sight of him bare faced, in his sweats. It was something she’d like to see more often if she had the choice.

“I’ll take Minghao inside,” Junhui decided, opening the passenger door only to have Minghao cling onto him like a koala.  
“Night Noona…” the Chinese dancer called as Junhui dragged him into the building. She chuckled shaking her head, then noticing that she was alone with Seokmin at her car window.

“What a couple,” She laughed. He smiled his usual bright smile with the cutest crinkled nose and crescent eyes.  
“Yeah, thanks for finding Minghao and taking care of him like that… he got upset earlier and we hadn’t seen him since,” Seokmin explained.  
“He was actually the one who approached me!” She laughed at the surprised expression that crossed the younger’s face. His hair tousled, and his skin flawless even without creamy foundation.  
“He must’ve been having a really bad day…”  
“HEY!” She pouted. He just smiled at her from outside the vehicle.  
“I’ll see you around Noona,” he nodded a farewell.   
“Yeah, goodbye Seokie,” she whispered with a smile, before she drove away leaving the idol to return back into the house he shared with twelve others. She didn’t question why Seokmin was outside with Junhui. Probably had nothing to do with her.

***

She started the next day with Jihoon’s fitting. The shortest member wasn’t very talkative, especially early in the morning, but she tried to subvert the conversation to music. He was infinitely passionate about his music production, something which she harbored fascination for.

“Youjin-Noona!”  
“Seungcheolie,” she greeted cheerfully, “how’s Minghao holding up today?”  
“He complained about a headache earlier, but he doesn’t seem to have that much of a hangover. Thanks for taking care of him last night,” The leader said earnestly.  
“Of course, I wanted to get him to open up to me a little more too… I think it worked,” she admitted knowing that she could be honest with the idol. He was the closest in age to her as well, being the oldest of the group. She’d found an easy camaraderie with the rapper.

“Yeah he’s tough.” Seungcheol laughed, “I hope you didn’t take it the wrong way, he just had a harder time. Especially because Korean is his second language.”  
“Mhmm… now let’s worry about you, shall we? The clothes are in the bag marked with your name,” she pointed.

He was wearing a long pink and blue button up with stringlike details, and tarnished denim jeans.  
“Ahhh you look so soft and squishy!” She made grabby motions with her hands, him dodging he attempts at squishing his cheeks.  
“No tickle attacks this time!” He made her promise.

They finished pretty quickly, taking the photos and getting all the marked alterations ready.

“I just know the CEO will think you did a good job,” he smiled.  
“You think?”  
“Totally.” Seungcheol nodded before leaving the office. The remaining three sessions with Seungkwan, Junhui, and Minghao.

“Hello,” Junhui bowed awkwardly entering the room, she smiled giving him a sideways glance from her computer.  
“Hey,” she nodded, “Minghao told me all about you…” Jun’s face went completely pale.  
“He did?”  
“No I’m just messing with you. Go try on the outfit marked with your name.” She told him, pointing towards the closet. His was the outfit with the most components. A T-shirt layered over a T-shirt, dark denim wash jeans, a pink belt and pink sweatbands.

“Let me.” She offered adjusting the sweatbands so they were perfectly straight. “You really do look like Kim Heechul.”  
“Everyone says that,” Jun smiled, “my nose looks like his but that’s about it…” he coughed making the silence between words even more awkward.  
“Really? You two could be twins!” She laughed.  
“But he’s like 30 something years old!”  
“Exactly,” she joked. Junhui laughed and shook his head. He left her cringing at how awkward the entire encounter was, hoping that it wasn’t a permanent thing and would melt away with time.

Seungkwan came in after Junhui left, full of his usual dramatic antics. He sang along to the song playing through her office, full on belting out the chords. She couldn’t do anything but applaud.  
“I am a main vocalist for a reason you know.” He smirked, knowing his own incredible abilities.

For her last fitting Minghao cooly strutted in wearing sunglasses inside.  
“Hey,” she greeted.  
“Ugh why does my head hurt so bad?” He asked giving her a half smile.  
“Well, I hope to make this as painless as possible,” she held up a needle pin, as his face paled. She just laughed at his reaction. “I’m just joking, your stuff is in the bag in the back.”

“And the hat goes OVER the bandana,” she told him for the millionth time.  
“How will I dance in this?”  
“You don’t! This is for a photoshoot,” she called back.

“Jesus Christ you’re skinny…” she took in another hollow of fabric, the T-shirt being way too big for the Chinese idol.  
“Not really,” He shrugged, “it’s all muscle,”  
“You should eat more,” She shook her head, his arms being like literal sticks.  
“You should too, Noona.” He shot back raising an eyebrow. She just stuck out her tongue and went back to measuring.  
“At least oversized is the new style…” she sighed, adjusting his collar again. “Picture time.”  
“You’ll be at the shoot, right?” Minghao asked tugging at the bandana in his hair.  
“Yeah, I will.” She nodded.  
“So you’ll make sure it goes well?”  
“Of course, why?”  
“I really want you to get that job, Jin.” He said unintentionally being sweet, “I want you to finally be able to show your parents that you’re successful doing something you love.”  
“Are you drunk still? That doesn’t sound like Minghao in there,” she joked, “but thank you. I hope everything works out.”

***

With the photoshoot fast approaching, Youjin really had no time to think about anything else than the verdict the CEO would give. Would she be satisfactory at her job? Or lacking? Would she finally get a paycheck? Or would she have to return to the coffee shop?

By the day before she was practically chewing her nails off in worry. Minghao had a break in his schedule bringing her lunch, visiting her for the first time since their fittings a week ago.

“Shit… shit shit… I’m so fucking nervous,” she admitted, arranging than rearranging the photos and the clothes. Then the shoes and the accessories.  
“Stop messing around with everything.” He scolded, “it’ll just make the anxiety worse. Just sit and eat.”  
“Thanks for the food,” she grinned digging into the box of fried chicken.  
“You look too thin…” he held up one of her arms, being able to encircle it with his hand. “I hope you get that paycheck soon…”  
“All is such for a literal starving artist,” she laughed. “You need to gain weight too!”  
“I’m perfectly healthy! My metabolism is just very high.” He justified.

It was weird how Minghao eventually opened up to her. After she got more to talking with the boy she once considered cold, she realized he was actually a passionate dancer with a fiery temper. Looking to thrive in a country hundreds of miles from home.

She could sort of relate, Minghao had no support system in Korea. Neither did she. They both took a risk by pursuing their dreams and they both may or may not be successful. At least Minghao was successful with his dream.

“No Soju today?” She laughed as he made a disgusted face.  
“I haven’t drank since our dinner,” He smiled.  
“And did things resolve with Mingyu?”  
“Over time yes.” Minghao shrugged, “we both clash a lot, but we always make up in the end.”  
“It’s a constant push and pull…” she cited a text she read somewhere.  
“But yeah he apologized so everything’s fine now,”  
“And Junhui?” She wondered aloud.   
“What about hyung?” Minghao’s attention was snapped up at the mention of the idol’s name.  
“I don’t know, how’s he doing?”  
“Good… he’s good,” the younger nodded.  
“Is there anyone who’s NOT good?” She questioned.  
“Mmm I think the rap line is preparing for a unit track. And if he didn’t tell you, Seokmin is going on King of the Masked Singers in July,”  
“Ooh, that would be fun to try. Designing a mask for that show,” she said with stars in her eyes.  
“I’d probably get something lame… like the Cat Whisperer or something…” Minghao muttered.  
“Oh my god you DO look like a cat!” She shrieked laughing when she noticed the similarities.  
“I do not!” He denied shaking his head.  
“You totally do!” She laughed.  
“Well if I’m a cat, then you look like… a beagle…”  
“WHAT?” She broke down in laughter again.  
“You two are practically identical twins!” He told her. She pulled up a picture on her phone, holding it up beside her face.  
“NO WAY!” She couldn’t help the shrieking laughter that followed Minghao’s mimicking her facial expression.

“Hey, Hao Hao practice is about to start.” Junhui popped his head inside the office, “hi Noona.”  
“Hey Jun,” she waved. 

“Looks like all this chicken is mine!” She giggled.   
“Go ahead and take it, it was too greasy anyways.”  
“It’s so good though!” She said between bites.  
“Sure Noona,” he rolled his eyes, the word Noona feeling almost unnatural in the conversation.  
“Just Jin is fine,” she suggested, he looked at her incredulously before agreeing.  
“Okay, enjoy the chicken Just Jin.”   
“HEY!” She shrieked but it was on deaf ears as he left her office with a wave disappearing down the hall.


	6. Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the CEO reaches a verdict, Jin’s whole career is on the line.

She felt like screaming aloud, everything was so chaotic. The shoot was taking place at different locations outdoors, each of the boy’s being prepped at the same time.

“And I’m not even sure if Junhui has his sweatband on right…” she told the photographer trying to style someone and talk to him at the same time.

“Kay Vernon-ah, all done,” she patted his shoulder after securing the hat over his head.  
“Thanks Noona.” He smiled up at her. “Just relax it’ll all come together,”  
“Yeah.” She shook her head, “you’re right.”

She finished Jeonghan’s last, adjusting the flannel on his waist so the pattern showed.  
“Now if I could just hairspray your outfits so each component stays in play…” she murmured to herself.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that idea.” Seokmin joked approaching her side.  
“Omo everyone looks so good,” she smiled proudly at her work, trying to avoid looking at the handsome idol next to her who never failed to make her heart skip a beat.  
“Yeah! See, you’ll get the job for sure,” he told her beaming proudly.  
“Mhmm… I hope so,” She hummed when the photographer called her name, pulling her away from the conversation with the lead vocal. “Ah shit I hope nothing’s on fire…” she groaned.  
“Wouldn’t that be epic though?” Seokmin asked brightly.  
“Your clothes aren’t flame proof you know,” She laughed, “better go check it out…”  
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” he comforted. She shot him a half smile and hurriedly walked off to confront the photographer shouting her name.

They did shoots of the oldest to youngest, outside, inside, holding popsicles, posing. As many as they could do with the amount of camera storage.

“I’m so fucking glad that’s over,” She wound up next to Vernon and Seungkwan who were having their makeup taken off.  
“I think it went well Noona,” Vernon said, fidgeting in his seat.  
“Yeah,” She smiled, “I hope it did.”  
“You’re really good at your job, Noona,” Seungkwan complimented, “all the members agree.”

*** 

She approached the CEO’s office, beaming. It was the verdict. He had seen the photos, they had been released on the fancafe and SNS accounts. Now her dream felt even closer than ever.

“Hello, take a seat.” He ordered pointing to the chair in front of him. She nodded. “So you’re probably wondering about how the photoshoot went…”  
“Yes sir,” She sat at the edge of her seat.  
“It went very well.” He told her, she sighed in relief. “But… we can’t hire you right now.”  
“What?” She stood up from her seat.  
“We’re looking into some different options… you’re so young too…”  
“You’re not giving me the job?” She slammed her palms down hard on the desktop.  
“I’m sorry…” He sighed.  
“You do know that it’s been four weeks I’ve worked here without pay? I have my rent! I have… I have bills, and food. I’m the only one supporting myself!” She half-shouted, feeling tears in her eyes.  
“I hope you succeed,” He bowed his head, obviously looking sorry for her.  
“Oh I will succeed, no thanks to you!” She actually shouted at him, taking her bag and marching out of the office. Collapsing in her old desk chair sobs wracking through her body.

“Hey, can I come in?” a voice asked her. She looked up, eyes red and puffy.  
“Sure,” She tried to smile at Minghao, but couldn’t. Not now at least.  
“I passed by and didn’t hear any music,” He explained taking a seat on the couch.  
“Well I didn’t get the job,” She laughed a sad pitiful laugh.  
“Obviously.” he said, taking a sip out of his water bottle.  
“Ouch.” She laughed, actually laughed.  
“I can tell Junhui I’ll be late to practice and help you clear this place out.” He offered. “It's too bad you didn’t…”  
“Don’t. I’ll be fine,” She shrugged, “just tell the others it was nice meeting them,”  
“Okay,” He frowned, “you don’t want to tell them yourself?”  
“I don’t think I can,” She smiled, “thanks for dropping by.”  
“Anytime,” He stood up, “I’ll see you soon though.”  
“Okay,” She nodded, without much more the Chinese idol left. Even though he tended not to say much, she knew he only meant kindness. It was comforting in a way.

There wasn’t much to pack up, just a few boxes of stuff, and some photos. She pulled the photos down off her wall. All thirteen members standing in the outfits she had put together, splaying them out on the desktop she sighed. Probably never going to see the spirited boys ever again. Her eyes fell onto the image tucked behind another one, hidden from plain sight, slipping the glossy photo into her pocket.

She flicked off the light in the empty room with a defeated sigh. Closing the door with a click she stepped forward only to run into a muscular figure.

“Shit!” She swore, feeling her bags drop from her hands and her body slowly fall closer to the ground. Before she could hit the ground a pair of arms caught her. Holding her in place, suspended above the floor.

“Sorry!” Seokmin apologized.  
“No… it’s… it’s fine,” She stuttered, being met with a concerned pair of eyes. If it were literally anyone else she would’ve stood up and yelled at them, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. His hair was tousled and messy without product in it, and his skin glistened with sweat from practice. She didn’t trust herself to speak anymore, for if she tried to she’d wind up saying something like “damn”. At this point she was blatantly staring, but she didn’t really care. He was hot as fuck.

“Are you okay?” He whispered, his usually cheerful face posed in a harsh frown, the wrinkles in his forehead looking unnatural when they replaced his usual smile lines.  
“Hey stop frowning,” she laughed reaching up and smoothing out the creases in his forehead. His frown evaporated, as a faint grin danced on his plump lips, “Here help me up,” she suggested as she was still hanging precariously above the ground, his arms the only thing preventing her from toppling over.  
“Sorry about that, are you okay?” he pulled her so she was standing up straight, the warmth pulsing through her veins disappearing as he let go of her.  
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she nodded picking up the two bags she dropped to the floor.  
“So is it true?”  
“Huh?”  
“You didn’t get the job?” The frown returned to his face.  
“Unfortunately,” she shrugged, “back to the coffee shop it is.”  
“I’m sorry…” he said his frown being replaced with a pout. His soft lips turned downward at the sides. She felt like somehow this was torture for something she did in a past life, testing her self control. 

“It wasn’t your fault at all. I must’ve messed up somewhere along the line. As usual,”  
“Well the boys thought that we could take you out for dinner, and I came to ask if you’re free. Minghao told us the news…”  
“I’m always free,” she laughed.  
“Well come on then. What are we waiting for?” He grabbed her right hand as if it were only the most natural thing to do, and started literally dragging her back to the practice room.

“She’s in!” Seokmin cheered in an enthusiastic voice, his eye smile present. Nobody, but her, seemed to take note of their still intertwined hands, electricity pulsing through her fingers.  
“That’s great. Let’s get going,” Seungcheol nodded. She couldn’t help but feel a little more lonely after Seokmin let go of her hand.

The thirteen boys, one fashion major, and one manager took up the entire back room of a Japanese ramen place. She was squished between a halfway to wasted Mingyu and a tipsy Minghao busy conversing something enthusiastically with Junhui in Mandarin.

“So where do you think you’re going to go from here?” Seungcheol asked sitting across the table.  
“Wherever life takes me,” She shrugged not really able to give an answer. Already in a ton of debt, plus bills were due at the end of the month.

“Minghao told me,” He sighed. She knew that the group’s leader could be trusted with the information.  
“Told you what, hyung?” Seokmin sitting a few seats over from Seungcheol demanded, butting into the conversation.  
“Nothing.” Seungcheol shook his head. It was evident that Minghao and Seuncheol (maybe Junhui too) were the only ones who knew how much the job would do for her. Being almost broke, with no other financial support. Seokmin looked between the leader and her suspiciously. She smiled and shook her head, not wanting to worry the main-vocal who’s concern was already showing on his face.

Seungcheol just gave her a skeptical look motioning for them to talk outside. She followed him out, Seokmin’s eyes burning as he watched her leave.

“Look, for all your work over the past few weeks, you deserve some compensation.” He explained reaching for something in his pocket, “take this.” He held out a wad of bills tied together with an elastic.  
“I can’t take that.” She shook her head.  
“Youjin, please. I couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t help you out…”  
“Help me out?” She scowled, “So this is out of your pity?”  
“Just take the money! It’s not like you’re in the best place right now!”  
“Wow…” she stepped backwards, shocked at his words.  
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that!” He groaned into his hands, all his words coming out wrong.  
“I’d rather starve before becoming your fucking charity work, Seungcheol.” She said coldly, turning on her heel and walking away. 

“Wait! Where are you going?” A voice that didn’t belong to Seungcheol called after her. It was Seokmin. He had obviously been eavesdropping, and she was so ashamed she didn’t have the will to turn around and face him. 

Seokmin, the literal ray of sunshine, who’s perfection in every aspect could make anyone fall head over heels in love. And her, the broke college graduate, with no parents, who never amounted to anything.  
“I’m going home.” She called over her shoulder speeding up her pace so they couldn’t follow her.


	7. Visiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She returns back to reality, facing turmoil when Seokmin tries to ask why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, I hope you’re liking the story so far :) things will get better

Life was shitty. The night after the dinner, Youjin had collapsed on her bed not ever wanting to face the world again. She returned to her coffee shop job the next day, regretting each and every mocha she brewed, cappuccino she whipped, and ice coffee she mixed.

She once had the world in her hands, her dream job, and now that she’d lost everything. Luckily she had scraped together the money for her rent and bills by selling mostly everything in her apartment.

She no longer had a kitchen table, or any carpets. Nor did she have a couch. The small studio apartment being picked clean. The only decoration was a small glossy photo hung on her wall, reminding her that life could be brighter.

It hurt her heart leaving the group without so much as a goodbye. Especially Seokmin, who deserved an explanation. An explanation that she was too ashamed to give. 

It was different than telling Minghao or Seungcheol, it was scarier. She worried about how she would be judged and perceived, the thing that was firmly scaring her away from opening up to him.

It was in the third week since her departure from Pledis, the weather outside was bleeding into Spring. Anticipation of rain hanging in the air.

“Thank you and enjoy,” She smiled a rehearsed smile, handing a slimy businessman a steaming cup.  
“You could’ve been quicker…” He snickered.  
“I’m sorry sir. I’ll work faster next time.” She said through gritted teeth, almost wanting to reach over the counter grab the rude man by his collar and give him a black eye.  
“Pffft…” he snorted derisively, “I think you said hat last time.”  
“I’m. Sorry. Sir.” She strained, sure that her fists were clenched beneath the countertop.  
“You know, you’re really cute when you get worked up,” the rude man smirked a slimy smirk. She really felt like punching him. The door chimes rang signaling someone had entered the shop.  
“Ahem.” The next customer in line cleared their throat. She sighed in relief.  
“Excuse me. I’ve got paying customers waiting.” She said calmly to the greasy man, who snorted and luckily walked off without further confrontation.

“Hello, what may I get for you today?” She said looking down at the screen in front of her waiting for the order that never came.

“You know it took forever to find this place.”

She looked up, the masked man recognizable immediately from the warm eyes, to the adorable birthmark on his cheek. The same face she had been fantasizing about ever since she first saw him, knocking against the glass of her car window.

“Seokmin-ssi?” She asked in a hushed voice  
as if to verify that it was actually him.  
“Hey Noona.” He slipped the paper mask down over his chin, his eye smile lighting up her day.  
“Hi…” She stuttered out stupidly, her cheeks flushing crimson. “How’d you find me here?” The question came out more like a demand. “Sorry I mean how’d you find me?”  
“It’s a secret.” He chuckled a high pitched laugh, giving her a wink that made her mouth run completely dry. Shit, how much she would pay to see that again. “Aren’t you going to take my order?” He asked leaning over the counter and looking at the monitor screen.  
“Aww I thought you came just to see me,” She joked.  
“I did, the coffee is just an added bonus,” He smiled brighter. It made her want to make him smile every minute of everyday. The world was not worthy of this perfection.  
“Fine, fine, so what do you want?” She prepared a cup to write the order on.  
“I want to know when your shift ends,”  
“Uhhh fifteen minutes until lunch break…” she mused looking over at the clock. “And come on, give me your order, pabo.”  
“Hmmm… one iced americano, and one?” He tilted his words into a question asking her what drink she’d like.   
“One iced mocha? Sounds good, sir. 6,000 won.” she laughed adding her drink to the order. He paid in exact change, taking his drink and sitting at a table in the corner by the window. With no other customers entering or exiting the shop, she took her break a couple minutes early.

“So what brings you here?” She smiled sitting down across from him.  
“Had the first afternoon off in a while,” He shrugged, “I’ve been planning a visit here anyways.”  
“Oh, you have?” She tried not to sound so surprised and happy that he’d want to come visit her.  
“Yeah this place has great ratings.” He quipped with a lopsided grin.  
“Ha ha very funny.” She rolled her eyes, knowing that Seokmin was always trying to make subtle jokes and jabs. Only an aspect of his personality that made her like him that much more.

“So how’s the comeback been?” She changed the topic.  
“It’s been alright. The suspenders are working out great, and they haven’t gotten us a replacement stylist yet.”  
“Really? I wonder who’ll they’ll hire,” she sighed. It hurt thinking about being replaced. Even if she worked for Pledis for four weeks, she grew attached to the position and to the members.  
“Don’t worry, no one can replace you, Noona.” He smiled comfortingly adding even more brightness to her overcast life. She couldn’t help but turn into a pile of stuttering mush when he complimented her.  
“Th… thanks,” she smiled.

“I just have to ask you something…” Seokmin suddenly turned serious, “what did Seungcheol tell you to make you leave?”  
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Knowing exactly what he wanted to ask her. She didn’t want to answer.  
“I need to know, Noona,” She didn’t want to tell him the truth. She wanted to lie and say that everything was fine.  
“I said I didn’t want to talk about it.” She hissed.  
“Why did Seungcheol offer you money?” She couldn’t tell him, shaking her head. “What did you tell Minghao?” She looked down at the tabletop, avoiding eye contact. “Why don’t you trust me?” He asked eyes filled with hurt. 

“She said she didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Hey Noona.” Minghao bowed respectfully. She couldn’t have been more thankful for an interruption.  
“Minghao…” Seokmin looked crestfallen like all the curiosity just poured out of his system.  
“Nice to see you too, Hao,” she nodded sighing in relief. The atmosphere was awkward when Minghao sat down in the booth next to her. She wanted to say something, anything, but couldn’t find the right words to say it.  
“So… how’d you get here?” She asked tentatively.  
“First lunchtime off in a while, I thought you’d be off your shift by now.” He nodded his words spilling out in accented Korean, “Jun-hyung is parking the car.”

Seokmin was deathly silent, the first time she’d ever seen him like that. It made her heart hurt with the way his eyebrows were tensed up, his usually happy smile replaced by a contemplative frown.

As if on cue the bells on the coffee shop door chimed and the tall, lean figure of Moon Junhui walked in. Wearing a mask, but looking like an idol nonetheless.

“Jun,” she greeted as warmly as she could. Her worry for Seokmin surpassing her joy to see the others.  
“Jin-noona,” he smiled, pulling his mask down over his lips, “can you get us a free coffee?”  
“Wow!” She chuckled, seeing Seokmin relax a little out of the corner of her eye. Junhui was an excellent conversationalist when Minghao was around, a bit on the louder side, but he and Minghao started telling her all about basically everything in a rushed manner. She nodded along, chuckling when something funny happened.

Soon it was time for her lunch break to be over, the shop still completely empty.  
“Here’s coffee to go,” she handed Jun a cup of the steaming liquid she prepared for him. “And green tea for Hao,”  
“We’ll see you soon, Noona.” Jun told her.  
“Yeah I’ll text you next time we’ve got a break.” Minghao agreed. She waved as the two left leaving her and Seokmin standing across the counter in awkward silence.

“I guess I better get going.”  
“Thanks for visiting.” She smiled, but was met with a cold expression. It hurt, it hurt not seeing him smiling back at her.  
“Yeah, sure,” he nodded. “See you around.” He turned around with a halfhearted wave over his shoulder.  
“Wait!” She called on pure impulse. He stopped abruptly not turning around, “I… actually nevermind.” She hung her head. He didn’t say another word, just leaving her alone in the coffee shop.

She had lost everything before, but she felt infinitely more empty now.


	8. Turning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There has to be a point after life’s laid you out, where you catch a break. 
> 
> Jin faces her tipping point.

It was a miracle. It was more than a miracle. She reread the email multiple times.

“Dear Miss Shin Youjin,

It has come to the company’s attention that you have served your duty as stylist above and beyond the group’s expectations. With their request that you return, you start again on Monday. Please meet me in my office.

Sincerely,  
CEO Han Seong-Su”

This was it. A second shot, her dream job dangling dangerously close to her grasp this time around. A literal miracle.

She walked as confidently as she could into the CEO’s office come Monday morning. Cringing because the last time she’d been there, she’d yelled at the CEO. 

“Youjin,” Misun, the Bird-lady Secretary greeted her with warmth, “I’m so glad to see you back.”  
“I’m glad to be back, Unnie.” She smiled as she was waved into the office.

“Shin Youjin.” The CEO said with an intimidating air.  
“CEO-ssi.” She bowed as deeply as she could.  
“It looks like you’ve left a lasting impression here at Pledis.” He mused.  
“Hopefully a good one.”  
“Mmm you can just ask Seungcheol-ah who practically begged me to rehire you.”  
“He did?” She looked shocked.  
“And the three boys who came to visit you on their day off.” He let a faint grin play across his face.  
“So I’m assuming that it’s a good one?”

“Are you and Seungcheol dating?” The CEO suddenly asked frowning.   
“No!” She denied shaking her head.  
“Then you must be a very good older sister to the group.”  
“I hope I am sir,”  
“I understand that everything from our past has been forgotten?” Referencing the whole shouting incident.   
“That would be nice sir.” She smiled.  
“It was the company’s fault to fire you for concern about scandals with such a young stylist. You worked diligently and the photos came out well in my opinion. Consider yourself rehired under the same position.” He told her and she almost leapt out of her seat in joy.  
“That’s incredible sir. Thank you so much. I promise I’ll do a good job.” She beamed with joy.

Unpacking her belongings into the same office felt surreal. It was permanent, she was being paid, and she’d get her dream job. A miracle… she thought thanking whichever force of the universe who made this a reality.

Seventeen’s manager entered her office halfway through packing, debriefing her on the calendar of events.  
“If you want to break the news to them later this day, they have dance practice at 9PM.”  
“Perfect.” She grinned.

She checked her outfit in the mirror, her striped blouse and corset waisted knee length skirt. Making sure she looked just as fashionable as a stylist should look, though she was way too unhealthily skinny making proportions wrong.

“Yeah your new stylist should be here soon…” she heard the manager say from inside the practice room. Laughing to herself, and pushing open the practice room door.

“Hello, I’m Shin Youjin, but you can call me Jin,” she bowed, trying to hold in her laughter. There was a moment of silence before some of the group rushed forward hugging her tightly.

“Guys I can’t breathe.” She laughed as Mingyu, Vernon and Seungkwan let go of her reluctantly.  
“It’s good to have you back.” Jisoo smiled. She saw Seungcheol out of the corner of her eye, beaming at her and the members proudly. Even Wonwoo was smiling. She did the unexpected, turned around and hugged the group’s leader tightly.

“Thank you.” She said softly, taking a step back and bowing until it hurt her legs.   
“I’m sorry about before,” he bowed his head as well, sympathetically, “I was completely out of line…”  
“Thank you Cheolie.” She cut him off not wanting any more of the apology especially in front of the others, “you helped me get here, and I owe you everything.”  
“Don’t mention it.” He smiled nonchalantly, but she knew the strings he had to pull to get her the job again.

“Now that that’s over let’s get back to practice!” The manager commanded, but he was smiling as well. She nodded, laughing when the members all let out a groan. She spotted Seokmin out of the corner of her eye, hanging back and staying quiet, something he usually never did.

“I’ll go move back into my office.” She smiled waving and leaving the practice room.

Making a few trips to her apartment and back, she finally got everything she needed for the office. It was still plain and barren, the walls white and empty. But she had boxes of photographs she could hang on strings, and all the office supplies she needed.

She was in the middle of hanging up the photographs from the first photo shoot over cards marked with th sizes and measurements of each member. It was a system that worked for her.

“Need some help?” A voice asked through the open door. She turned down her music, and smiled at the other.  
“Practice over already, Hao?”  
“Yeah, I said I’d stay late, Jun might help out too…” he shrugged.  
“You two really are attached at the hip.” She laughed, “you need sleep though!”  
“I didn’t get the chance to welcome you back.” He explained, “you should’ve seen S. Coups hyung. He got really upset at the CEO. So scary…” the Chinese idol shivered.  
“Honestly he’s a miracle worker.” She laughed.  
“It wasn’t just him though.” A second voice joined the two. Junhui walked in bowing at her. “Minghao was sending the CEO some pretty harsh death glares,”  
“Oh?” She raised an eyebrow, Minghao shrugged.  
“The van already left. We’re going to have to taxi it home.” Jun stated.  
“No, I’ll drive you.” She cut in, “I know where it is.”  
“Really? Thanks Noona! Now let’s get unpacking.” The older group member cheered helping open a box.

“So just match up the info cards with the pictures and hang them on the piece of wire. Yeah like that,” she instructed, and with the two others, the images got hung in no time.  
“Noona, what do we do with this one?” Minghao sent her a sideways almost suspicious look, holding out a photo.  
“Well everyone’s already hung up…” she said confused, then looked over at the photo he was holding up. “OMO WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?”  
“It was in the bottom of the box.” Minghao said calmly, but acted like he knew something important.   
“What is it?” Jun called finishing hanging up the cards. Minghao turned the photo around to show him. It was a glossy photo of Seokmin posing awkwardly like a runway model, his lips pursed like a fish, hands on his hips and bent over.  
“HAHA Seokmin is such a clown.” Jun laughed.  
“Yeah uhh just pin it behind the rest of Seokmin-ssi’s photos,” she played it off casually not wanting to draw attention to the image she kept secret. Minghao sent her a knowing glance.

***

“It’s already 11PM and we haven’t eaten any dinner…” Jun smiled over at Minghao knowingly, “Hao Hao, wanna treat Hyung and Noona?”  
“Fine.” He rolled his eyes sarcastically flicking Jun on the head as they left the office. She switched off the lights as they left.  
“So where to?” She asked slinging her bag over her shoulder. The three found themselves in the same Chinese restaurant as before, Minghao and Jun greeting the hostess amicably. Youjin took Minghao’s phone snapping a picture of him and Jun, then the food.  
“I’ll post it later,” The chinese idol thanked her. She drove them home after the meal. The last time she’d talked with Jun he’d been so awkward, but around Minghao he was incredibly chatty, so she found herself talking the night away with the both of them.

“Thanks for the meal Hao,” she smiled back at the youngest.  
“No problem Noona,” He shrugged, getting out of the car.  
“Have fun with the new job Jin-noona,” Jun bowed, stepping out of the vehicle.  
“Bye you two.” She waved driving away in her ancient Toyota falling apart at the seams.

***

Her assignments were pretty clear, diving headfirst into the pile of work that was building up for Seventeen’s upcoming broadcasts and promotional activities. She spent all week filling up the back closet with outfits for the music video, the comeback stages, and variety shows. Her job didn’t give her very much time to go outside the office and actually HAVE a social life, but she didn’t mind. Especially when she got her first official paycheck.

“HOLY SHIT!” She exclaimed aloud, tracing the zeroes on the check with her finger. It would cover her entire month’s rent.

“Hey Noona,”  
“Seungcheol-ah,” She smiled up at the Seventeen leader who entered her office.  
“How’s your first week been?” He asked, his attention diverted to the photos hung on the wall. Looking at the photos of the other members fondly.  
“Amazing?” She laughed spinning around in her chair to face the raven haired leader. “Honestly Coups, I owe you everything.”  
“Oh it wasn’t just me. It was everyone really who was upset with the company. Firing you for fear of a scandal? What a shit reason. Just as their leader I had the responsibility to advocate it.”

“Wow such big words,” She laughed, “how are comeback preparations coming?”  
“Good, good.” He nodded still observing the photos, “the dance is pretty much completed so we’re just practicing until we start filming for the MV on Wednesday,”  
“Wednesday already? Sheesh the CEO scheduled your fittings late, I’ll only have a couple days for alterations,” She sighed but she couldn’t stop smiling. As exhausting as her job was, she loved every second of it.  
“I better go start practice, but if you need any help with anything just ask.” He gave her a thumbs up, leaving the office.  
“Oh trust me, you’ve helped enough!” She shouted after him, hearing his chuckle.

***

Fittings for a bunch of different outfits happened the next day, having the stage outfits, music video outfits, and variety show clothes to filter through. She’d prioritize the MV outfits, but the stage outfits were just important as well.

“Hey Dino,” she greeted as he entered the room with a Michael Jackson moonwalk.  
“Sup Noona?”

“Yeah and then Jisoo was accused ME of stealing his favorite T-shirt!”  
“Well Jeonghannie, did you?” She quirked an eyebrow.  
“Of course I did, but how was I going to admit that right in front of him?” The idol with the angelic exterior but devilish personality whined, his long hair swishing with every elaborate gesture.

“So did Jeonghan take it?”  
“If I say yes, you won’t tell him I snitched right?”  
“Promise cross my heart.”   
“He did it.”  
“I knew it.” Jisoo shook his head.

“NAEGA HOSH!”  
“Afternoon Hoshi,” she chuckled at the younger making a pose as he entered the room.  
“So Noona have you chosen a bias yet?” He grinned mischievously.  
“Are you going to ask me this every time?” She sighed.  
“Well until you tell me the truth!”  
“The truth?”  
“Yeah, who’s your biasss?” He practically begged her for an answer.  
“I like all of you equally.” She said calmly, the younger groaning.  
“This isn’t the end of this conversation, Jin-Noona!” He said dramatically shaking his fist in the air. She just laughed at the dance prodigy.

“Hello,” Jun bowed.  
“Oh hey,” she noticed his stiff posture, back to awkward Jun she had met from the first fitting.  
“Uh how has your day been?”  
“Other than Hoshi grilling me about my bias, uneventful.” She smiled trying not to cringe at his awkward posture.  
“Cool…”  
“Jesus Christ why are we so awkward?” She laughed at the whole exchange unable to do anything else, “when Minghao is here, you’re so talkative!”  
“I uhh… then I’ll try to imagine Minghao here,” he sighed, “I’m such a cringey mess!”  
“It’s alright, just tell me whatever’s on your mind. I don’t judge, plus I’d like to get to know you better,” she pressed the topic, trying to get him to finally open up.  
“I wish Minghao were here… he always makes things so much easier. He can always translate if I forget the right word, and he’s always just… just there. You know? Like you know he’s listening.” Jun sighed letting his thoughts avalanche out.  
“Yeah.” She smiled, “I know. But he can be scary as fuck sometimes,”  
“Yeah you do not want to get on his bad side!” Jun laughed genuinely. 

He was the last fitting of the day. She closed up her office and brought some things home to alter overnight. Hearing music pouring out of the practice room, she passed by. Peeking through the glass door. The boys were rehearsing again, Hoshi in front of the group leading them in perfect synchronization.

She squinted trying to make out who was who before she noticed another pair of eyes looking at her. Almost jumping in surprise she met Seokmin’s glance, his eyes recognizing her instantly. 

She smiled and gave him a small wave, laughing to herself when he fell over on his face not paying attention to where he was going. She took it as her cue to leave.


	9. Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was an idol. She was his stylist. There was a certain line that couldn’t be crossed.

The second day of fittings began with Mingyu talking about some rapping stuff he was into. Then Woozi who got mad at her for calling him adorable.

“Hey.” Wonwoo slouched into her office, relaxing lazily against the couch. She couldn’t tell what was up with him.  
“Hi,” she nodded awkwardly. The whole encounter was awkward. They didn’t say much except for a few commands to raise his arms or hold a piece of excess fabric.

“Shit you’ll never believe the absolute robot that I had in here,” she sighed when Minghao was the next to walk through her doors.  
“Wonwoo-hyung was that bad?” He asked knowingly. She nodded.  
“What is he? Some android or something?” She laughed when Minghao did a quick robot dance. That was still a billion times better than any dance she could do.  
“It’s okay. It’ll take a while, but he’ll come around,” Minghao shrugged.

“You know Jun just loves talking about you,” She teased, seeing Minghao instantly sit up straight in curiosity.  
“Really?” He tried to sound like his usual disinterested sarcastic self, but it wasn’t working.  
“Yeah, that was practically the only thing we talked about when he was being fitted.” She laughed.  
“Ah…” She knew Minghao wanted to ask what he said, but she decided just to hold back that information and torture him with it a little.  
“Let’s get started on the fitting shall we?” She changed the subjects with an evil glance.

Junhui was right though, talking with Minghao was easy. He was an easy conversationalist after he opened up to you.

“You’re too thin. All of your garments have to be taken in.” She told him sighing.  
“My metabolism is not my fault.” He justified sarcastically.  
“Just eat more.” She pokes him side, him returning the scowl.  
“Nice to see you too, Noona.” He rolled his eyes. She finally broke and ruffled the younger’s hair.  
“Visit sometime, and bring Junhuiii.” She sing-songed.

That day had taken longer with only four members left to fit. She wrote them on a post it note. Seungcheol, Seungkwan, Vernon, and Seokmin… that last one would sure be awkward. 

Trying not to get nervous about it, she flipped off the lights in the office and left for home.

***

“Morning.”  
“Morning Coups leader…” She saluted when he walked through the door.  
“Honestly you’re not a member, you don’t have to call me that,” he grinned good naturedly.  
“I like it. It means like a revolt, so I’m basically calling you the leader of the rebellion.” She explained, taking out her pins she kept in a box, and some clothes chalk.  
“Wow, that’s deep,” he laughed, “is that why you’re always playing YG music? Are you like a G-Dragon super-fan?”  
“Yes, you can say that.” She nodded thoughtfully.  
“Maybe when he goes on tour, the company can get you tickets?” Seungcheol suggested hopefully.  
“That would be the dream wouldn’t it?”

Vernon came in next, awkwardly meme dancing to the song she was playing.  
“Sup Hansol,” she waved.  
“How’d you learn my name? Are you a creepy stalker?” He asked suspiciously.  
“It’s in your file.” She deadpanned pointing to his file and measurements on the wall.  
“Ah… so you ARE!”  
“No?” She laughed shaking her head, “how’s Seungkwan doing? I haven’t seen him yet.”  
“He’s holding up great,” Vernon grinned giving her a thumbs up, “improving at the choreo every day.”  
“Ah good for him. Sometimes I wish I could dance,” she laughed.  
“Hey you never know! You might be a prodigy!”   
“Highly doubt that, so hurry up your stuff is in the closet,” she said gesturing to the closet.

“NOONA!” Seungkwan bounded into her office cheerfully.  
“Evening Kwanie,” she laughed when he made a sour face at the nickname.  
“Kwanie? Really?” He asked wrinkling his nose up.  
“What? Can you come up with anything better?”  
“How about… God Seungkwan.”  
“I’m not calling you that!” She giggled.  
“Fine!” He laughed along.  
“Honestly Kwanie, you need to gain some weight.” She told him poking at his bony stomach.  
“No I don’t.” He snapped at her. She was a bit taken aback before realizing it was a touchy subject.  
“Kwanie, you’re skin and bones. This diet isn’t doing you any good. As a dancer you need to keep your energy up.” She pleaded with him.  
“I’m the heaviest one on the team.” He snapped again, “stop lying to me.” She dropped the subject, changing it to how comeback promotions were going.

After Seungkwan left her office she sighed in relief. Twelve boys almost all measured and ready for the stage. One left. Except the one left would be the hardest one. She took a seat on the couch halfway through hemming something, yawning from the long day of staring at the computer screen.

***

“Noona.” He bowed his usual sunshiny smile as he walked in.  
“Seokminnie.” She laughed “Your clothes are in the back.”  
“Thank you.” He smiled. Once the door closed she felt her heart hurt a little bit. 

He exited out of the fitting room in his first outfit, a collared shirt, slacks and suspenders that weren’t attached correctly.  
“Omo…” she giggled seeing him tied up in his suspenders again, “here stand still,”  
She hooked the buckle to the back first, turning him around and straightening it out. Trying not to touch him at all, she was as delicate with the fabric as possible.  
“Look…” She gulped, “I’m sorry.”  
“Sorry?” He looked down at her confused.  
“I’m sorry for making you think that I didn’t trust you,” she continued evading his gaze, gently clipping one side and then the other. When he was silent she looked up to find his sharp eyes focused on her. “I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t trust you… because I do… I really do. There are some things about my past that I regret. I don’t want you to judge me for my past actions.” He looked taken aback, eyes filled with concern as she poured her soul out to him.  
“I would never…” he whispered softly.  
“I don’t know that.” She said sharply, “can't we just move forward? Can you please just judge me for who I am now?”  
“Yes…” he smiled down at her, eyes still staring deeply into her own. She couldn’t look away, and when she did she regretted it. “I’m sorry too…” he spoke up. “I shouldn’t have gotten upset with you over things you don’t want to share. I just hated that you thought you couldn’t trust me…”

“Don’t worry Seokie, I would trust you with my life,” she laughed, but she was being completely serious. He was not only probably the most beautiful creature in the universe, but he was also the kindest, funniest and most loyal person she had ever met. He was flawless, and she was oh so flawed.  
“Sheesh you’re corny, Noona,” He finally cracked a smile. She could just shake her head and laugh. He leaned down to bridge the close gap between them, his lips meeting hers halfway. She can’t help but love the boy in front of her that much more.

***

“Shit...” she snapped awake, her fingers coming up to touch her lips reflexively. The kiss had felt so real… she could still imagine his soft lips against hers. Seokmin looked alarmed down at her, like he’d disrupted her sleep.  
“Is the stuff marked?” He asked pointing to the closet. She nodded, unable to trust her words. It was all wrong. Their interactions were distant and forced and his usual vigor for life wasn’t present. He was cold and offstandish, and she didn’t know how to talk to him about what happened so she just stayed quiet. The fitting was silent, awkwardly silent with only Big Bang’s album playing faintly through the air.  
“Thanks.” He nodded coldly leaving the office without another word.  
“Bye…” She said softly knowing that he couldn’t hear her. It hurt. It hurt so bad.

Minghao made her feel a little better. She had been added to a new group chat with the China Line, where she told them all about what happened with Seokmin.

Minghao: If he’s that hung up about it it’s immature. He should respect what you want to tell him and what you don’t want to.

She thanked the unlimited wisdom that poured out of Xu Minghao. Jun offered a simple ‘That sucks’ which also was fairly comforting.

It was the day of the music video shoot and everything was chaotic, but she had labeled all the garment bags so it wasn’t her fault. She could let the makeup and hair ladies so their job while she hung back and watched from afar. Not her place to step in any longer.

“Yo…” Minghao sat down next to her in a fold up chair.  
“What the hell is that?” She asked pointing to the female actor who was outfitted in a pink frilly dress that reached her knees.  
“Apparently her stylist thinks that that’s a good look…”  
“I should’ve taken care of this too…” she groaned, “I can’t let that in the music video!”  
“We’re shooting in ten, it’s not that bad,” Minghao shrugged looking on the bright side of things.  
“It IS that bad. The female lead should look cool! And modern and pretty…” she groaned into her hands.  
“What are you going to do?” Minghao asked.  
“I don’t know… give her my clothes or something?” She suddenly realized that was a viable option.

“HEY MISSES!” She got up yelling after the girl.

In a few minutes she was wearing the pink frilly dress and the girl was wearing her striped T-shirt, high waisted jean shorts, knee high socks and sneakers.  
“Wait! This belt too…” She picked out a black leather belt with a silver buckle.  
“Thanks?” The girl asked confused as to why she was wearing a stranger’s clothes suddenly.  
“You’re welcome.” Youjin grinned.  
“EVERYONE ON SET!” The director shouted, and she fell back amongst the camera crew.

“Shit you did it…” Minghao snorted when he passed by her.   
“What the hell?” Seungcheol laughed as he passed by, pulling on a ribbon on her poofy skirt. She just stuck out her tongue at the leader and went to go look for something to change into.

By the end of the day, the boys had filmed during the sunup for good lighting. Outside they danced on a set using her suspenders, and then they shot individuals with Jeonghan, Vernon, Joshua, Hoshi and Woozi.

She hung out with Jun and Minghao who wouldn’t stop teasing her for her dress.

“I hate you guys.” She told them jokingly.  
“Love you too Noona,” Jun laughed sarcastically.  
“The shoot’s over right? I can split?” She asked motivated to get out of the pink death trap.  
“You need to get your clothes back,” Minghao pointed to the female actress who was still wearing her clothes, talking animatedly with Seokmin.

“She can keep them.” Youjin snorted not wanting to walk over and find out what they were talking about, grabbing her bag and ignoring the painful twist in her gut. “Good job today you two,” She told the two foreign idols who were basically inseparable.  
“Yeah, have a goodnight Noona,” Jun waved, Minghao repeating the action. She just gave them a smile and told the manager she was leaving, marching off set.

She collapsed in her car, it was already sunset. Wanting to get home as soon as possible so she could just wash off the stress of the day. Her head hurt and she couldn’t stop thinking about the way Seokmin looked so happy talking with that girl.

“No. Stop it, Jin.” She hit herself across the cheek. She had to stop thinking weird thoughts about the idol. He was an idol. She was his stylist. There was a certain line that couldn’t be crossed.


	10. Recovering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe an apology is all they really needed to heal.

She got to set early the next day, having a bag of clothes for the actress to wear. She didn’t trust the other stylist. No one else but the set-up crew and director were there, so she took out a mini sketch pad and began stage outfit concepts.

The shoot started when the boys washed into the set like a tidal wave. Singing songs off key and laughing like a pack of hyenas.

“Hey! Misses!” She spotted the actress and ran up to her side. “Here.”  
“What’s this?”  
“It’s your outfit for today. I’m the lead stylist for the group,” she tried to increase her credibility with a bright smile.  
“Youjin-ah, that’s you right?” The actress asked.  
“Uh yeah.” She nodded, “how do you know my name?”  
“The one with the sharp nose told me all about how great you were.” The lady laughed taking the bag of clothes.  
“Ah…” Youjin acted like she understood, not fully knowing who the one with the sharp nose was. Junhui had a somewhat sharp nose.

“I hope you weren’t uncomfortable in that awful dress,” the actress said with a concerned expression.  
“It was fine,” she laughed, “though I hope your stylist doesn’t mind me throwing it in the trash…”  
“Don’t worry, I’ll be firing him.” The actress laughed.  
“Here, since we wear the same size,” she handed the older the clothes. “Put these on,”  
“You’re a real lifesaver,” She laughed pleasantly nodding, and disappearing into the dressing rooms.

The shoot began well, it was the rest of the members turn to take their scenes, so she kept herself busy sketching, talking with Vernon and Hoshi, and triple checking that the stage outfits were perfect.

“So how’d it go?” She asked comfortably when Minghao sat across from her after his shoots.  
“I had scenes with Jun-hyung…” He sighed. His face read disappointed, she could tell.  
“What’s wrong?” She said, shutting her sketchbook and turning her attention to the conversation.  
“It’s just…” He tried to come up with the right words, “Jun-hyung is so handsome and charismatic. I’m always paired up with him, and he always overshadows me…”  
“I wouldn’t worry about it, Hao,” almost laughing at the reason why he worried. “You shine in your own right, Junhui can’t take away from that. The producers put you two together because you balance each other so well, not because they think you’re ugly and Jun’s hot,”  
“I guess…” Minghao sighed.  
“Haooo!” She tried to do her best aegyo voice to cheer him up, but he just burst out laughing.  
“Noona, never again!” Pouting she nodded.  
“You don’t know how much energy that took,”

“Hey Noona, we’re having a celebration dinner for the wrap up on shooting, you have to come,” Seungcheol ordered, not giving her another option.  
“Yeah Noona, please? All the production staff and manager is going to be there,” Hoshi begged.  
“Fine!” She admitted defeat, most of the members cheered.  
“Sheesh you’re so soft, and I don’t mean that in a good way,” Minghao snarkily commented after she gave in. She just stuck out her tongue at the taller, and followed them off set.

“Noona sit over here!” Mingyu called moving over so a spot existed between him and Minghao.  
“Did you just offer so I could hand all my drinks over to you?” She rolled her eyes, laughing at the younger with the puppy-dog like personality. Minghao snickered from her other side. She talked briefly with the members sitting around her, complimenting Hoshi on the choreography and Woozi with the composition. Blatantly avoiding talking to the person sitting directly across from her, Seokmin. They didn’t acknowledge each other, much less did they speak. She had no idea what to say, and didn’t want him to start questioning her again.

“Cheers everyone, to a successful music video shoot complete, and to a new member of the team.” Seungcheol raised his soju glass pointed at her. She smiled gratefully raising her water glass in return. “Cheers!” She smiled feeling like a true member of the team. Seokmin watched her, clinking their glasses together. It wasn’t a reconciliation, but at least a smile was on the right track.

After a few drinks, the boys were getting louder and louder. Her and Woozi the only two who chose not to down any alcohol.

“I think I better get going,” She told the leader of the vocal team. He nodded curtly.  
“And leave all these drunks to me?” The shorter sighed with an exhausted chuckle.  
“Have good night, Jihoon,” She bowed grabbing her bag off the back of her chair and turning around to leave. She made it out to the chilly quiet parking lot, until someone called her name.

“Noona!” It was Seokmin running after her as she left. She froze allowing the younger to catch up with her. He was obviously a little more than tipsy. He ran up to her and wrapped her in a sloppy hug. She was stunned.

“Seokmin, what are you doing?” she hissed, but he didn’t remove his arms holding her in place.  
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry Noona!” He started sobbing loudly, apparently being an emotional drunk.  
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” She relaxed into the hug, his arms only warmed her up against the cold night air.  
“I’m sorry,” He cried, his eyes going pink.  
“Seokie, please stop apologizing. I forgive you, don’t apologize,” She pleaded in a comforting way, rubbing small circles on his back. His eyes were stained, she hated seeing him cry like this.  
“You do?” He sniffled.

“Seokmin what are you doing?” Jihoon poked the younger member on the shoulder, she didn’t see him approach.

“He’s just apologizing,” Youjin informed the vocal team leader, gently unraveling Seokmin’s arms from around her waist and dumping him on Jihoon.  
“Noona…” Seokmin slurred, and stumbled a bit before Jihoon caught him around his waist.

“Need help?” she asked.  
“Nah, I’ve got it. Go home and rest,” The sober idol told her, dragging Seokmin back into the restaurant.   
“Thanks Jihoon,” She called after him, before getting in her car and driving home. Maybe it wasn’t total reconciliation, but it was getting there.

***

The promotions on Music Bank, and special stages impending the upcoming concert were approaching at lightning speed. The comeback itself was scheduled for Sunday, and she was heavily preparing in anticipation.

It was Friday evening, and she would be pulling an all nighter having gotten special suspenders for the performance, planning to bring them into a shop that her old friend from design school ran. She counted each and every set, making sure all thirteen were accounted for in the paper bag.  
“Hey Noona,” Seuncheol entered her office, “just checking in with the progress,”  
“One last touch Cheolie, then your stage outfits for the next five weeks are done,” She sighed proudly, a job almost complete.  
“That’s amazing,”   
“I’m not sure if I’ll get to say this beforehand, but good luck.” He nodded, waving as he left the office.

She drove her sputtering vehicle to the office that her college friend worked at, it had all sorts of design tools and machines. Electric fabric cutters, 3-D printers, and an embroidery machine.  
“Perfect,” She grinned. Her friend told her to go in through the backdoor which was usually unlocked anyways.

“First up… Cheolie,” She typed in the characters for S Coups and hit the on button. The suspenders rope was embroidered with the requested characters. “And Hao Hao… The8…” But instead of typing in an 8 she typed in an infinity sign character.  
“And finally… Seokie…” She sighed, it was half past three, the embroidery taking hours of time. She typed ‘Seokminnie’ into the computer before realizing that he had a stage name too. “Shit…” she swore, rubbing her drooping eyes. She was so tired she couldn’t think straight. “He won’t mind,” She figured.

Getting home at 4AM then showering and changing into the outfit she would wear to work. A long plaid duster coat, and black catsuit underneath.  
“I might as well get down to the office,” She figured, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep.

She got out of the elevator and walked down the hallway towards her office when she heard someone belting out a song perfect note for note.

“Seungkwan?” She thought, walking down the hallway towards the practice room. She peered in through the glass door and saw Seokmin standing with a prop microphone. Singing the words to a song she’d never heard before.

Maybe it was creepy, watching the performer from the door slightly cracked open. He looked so perfect when he was singing. She knew he was a good singer, but he really sounded incredible. He looked incredible too, his hair matted to his forehead giving him a natural look, his face bare of all makeup but still perfect.

“Shit…” she swore to herself, shaking out of the daze she was in. “Stop thinking like that,” she told herself, walking away from the practice room. Feeling her cheeks pink, and her heart beating in her chest.

But OF COURSE out of her exhausted stupor, she just had to trip on her own shoelaces, falling to the floor with a crunch, her bag making even more noise when it made contact. And if that didn’t notify the singer of her presence her loud swearing sure did.

“Fucking hell…” she skinned the palm of her hand, it bleeding already. She heard the singing stop, the backing track playing still when Seokmin ran out of the practice room and saw her on the floor.  
“Youjin-Noona?” He asked surprised.  
“Your singing was really great…” she said embarrassed. He offered his hand to help her up, but she just showed him the peeled back skin and blood on her palms.  
“You’re so clumsy.” He shook his head smiling, kneeling down and scooping her up in his arms.  
“Hey!” She whined, hiding her blushing face in his shirt. His skin was warm with a layer of moisture to it, but she didn’t mind, he still smelled just as good as he usually did.  
“You can walk right?” He grinned down at her. She just nodded, eyes wide when he set her down on her feet.  
“I’m sorry to interrupt your practice.” She immediately bowed apologizing, “I just heard it and had to come and listen,”  
“You were listening?” He sounded slightly surprised.  
“Yeah I know I’m a creep.” She joked, he just chuckled at her picking up her bag.

“Where to?” He asked.  
“No! I don’t want to interrupt your practice,” she shook her head. “I’m fine!”  
“Don’t worry about it, I should’ve finished half an hour ago anyways. I’m just preparing for the King of the Masked singer later this month,”  
“Ah, right that’s on the calendar.” She nodded understanding, “but it’s 4AM. You should be back at the dorm getting rest for today’s comeback show, Seokie,” she let the nickname slip from her lips casually, only realizing she called him the pet name after he looked at her with a mixture of shock and unspoken happiness.

“I could say the same thing for you, Jin-Noona,” he smiled one of the brightest smiles she had seen him direct at her. His eyes curving upwards, and the smile wrinkling his face.  
“I was just working.” She shrugged, “I finished the suspenders last night and I couldn’t sleep. I thought I could come back here and work until sunrise.”  
“I can never sleep before comebacks. I thought practicing might ease my nerves.” He admitted looking down at the floor.  
“Maybe you can catch an hour or two on the couch in my office,” she suggested, him trailing her down the hall. She handed him the key when they reached the door, unable to unlock it herself with her torn up hands.  
“We should get that bandaged up,” He looked worriedly down at her palms, taking the key and dropping the bag of suspenders on her desk. “Do you have a first aid kit?”  
“There might be one in the bathroom,” she suggested.  
“Let me help,” He offered.  
“No, go rest, Seokie.” She shook her head.  
“I’m going to help.”  
“You know, I didn’t know you were this stubborn,” she laughed as he trailed her closely to the women’s restroom. 

The company was silent, the two of them probably the only ones in the building.  
“I’ve never been in here before,” he mused turning in a full circle and looking around.  
“Stop looking so awestruck by a bathroom and come help me,” she whined, laughing at how amazed the younger looked. If she hadn’t hurt her hands, she was sure she would be running them through his silky soft unstyled hair.

“It’s going to sting a little,” he warned turning on the water and taking her injured hands in his. She almost retracted her hands immediately at the contact. “I’m sorry.” He apologized.  
“No, it doesn’t hurt that bad,” she shook her head.  
“No I mean I’m sorry.” He bowed his head, rubbing the skin on her knuckles under the stream of water. An unnecessary but welcomed gesture. Every time he touched her she just felt the weird butterflies in her stomach again.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything. Your drunk self already told me,” laughing when he looked at her in mortification.  
“What else did he say?” The brunette inquired nervously.  
“Just that you were sorry about pressing me on an issue I don’t want to share.” She shrugged, he sighed in relief.  
“I’m sorry again…”

“You don’t have to apologize, I’m the one who should be sorry for not telling you,” she looked up at him, their hands still interwoven underneath the faucet’s steady stream of warm water. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t trust you, because I do.”  
“I know you do.” He nodded, “I was overreacting.”  
“I don’t know why it’s different,” she sighed, “I could tell Minghao easily, but when it comes to you I just… I just was an awful person back then. Dealing with shit you don’t need to deal with.”

“You don’t need to tell me,” he shook his head, trying to be more cautious of what she wanted to tell him and what she couldn’t.  
“I think I need to tell you,” she whispered.  
“Here, tell me back in the office, your hands are getting pruney,” he joked. She pouted, letting him gently pat her hands dry with a paper towel.

“This may be because I’m deadass tired, but I want you to know that I trust you.” She said looking for support which came with his hand gently holding her fingertips and cupping her palms. The weird butterflies back, warming her from her toes to her cheeks. 

It was a situation far too intimate between two colleagues who met each other only a couple months ago. But with Seokmin she felt like she had known him for far longer. They weren’t just people who worked for each other anymore, they were friends.

“You know you don’t have to tell me.” He whispered softly, squeezing her right hand comfortingly.  
“No I… when I first met you, outside the company building. In my old car, I had nothing. I worked a job in a coffee shop five days a week just to pay for food and rent. When I got this job, it seemed like a miracle, but when I lost it, I was broke. I had to sell all my things just to pay the bills…” she cried into her hands, not knowing at the time how much pride it took to see everything around her disappear. “My parents cut all contact with me after I decided to pursue fashion, and I haven’t heard from them in years. Was I a bad daughter for chasing my selfish dream?” She sobbed, not caring if her makeup was running down her cheeks.  
“No.” He simply said, wiping away her tears and pulling her tightly into a hug, “you weren’t.” She could never get used to the sensation of Seokmin’s warm embrace, giving her both comfort and thrill. “I know it was hard for you,” he rubbed her back comfortingly. “But you’ve got Seventeen now. We won’t let you go,” he wiped away the tears on her cheek with his thumb.  
“You don’t think I was an awful daughter? To disobey my parents wishes?” She said between sobs.  
“No.” He returned. She broke into another fit of tears, leaving tear stains in his T-shirt. “Please just get some rest.” He rubbed her forehead, and with that she was out like a light.

“Hey… wake up,” a voice that wasn’t Seokmin awoke her from her sleep.

“Morning…” she cracked open her eyes to find herself looking up at Seokmin’s sleeping face. He was holding her gently, letting her sleep in his arms. It felt so warm and cozy, she didn’t want to get up.

“What happened last night?” Seungcheol raised an eyebrow like a worried parent would.  
“Nothing!” She squeaked and blushed bright red, “really, nothing.”  
“You’re lucky I trust you and Seok,” The leader sighed, “wake him up it’s time to head over to the venue,”  
“Okay,” she nodded nudging his shoulder gently, “Seokie wake up now…”  
“Mhmmm don’t wanna!” The main vocalist whined.  
“Get up,” Seungcheol said poking the younger in the head harshly.  
“I’m up!” He groaned sitting up straight. She got up and stretched her arms walking back into the back room closet. 

“I’ve got all of the stage outfits on a rack ready to transport.” She rolled out the portable clothes rack, all thirteen garment bags hung neatly.  
“We’ll meet you there,” Seungcheol nodded, “see you soon.”  
“See you there, Noona,” Seokmin grinned waving as the two idols left her office. She sighed, unable to erase the image of his smile in her mind.  
“Bye…” she called after them just thinking about what it felt like to sleep in the idol’s arms.


	11. Appreciating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She appreciated the way Seokmin made her laugh. She appreciated his eye-smile. Everything about him made her appreciate his presence more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, it’s a slow-burn fic, it’ll take a while haha. I hope you’re enjoying the story!

The stage was loud, fans crammed everywhere as performances went on being filmed in the pre recording. She didn’t see the members much before the stage, but she tried to wish all of them good luck at least once.

As usual, the stage performance was flawless and full of energy. She was cheering for them from backstage when the song hit its last note, and the stage went dark. They really were infinitely talented.

***

It was Monday, the day after their comeback. She got to the office early knowing that she had a ton of things to do to prepare for promotions. The door to her office was unlocked when she pushed it open, grabbing her purse like a weapon in case of an intruder. 

Seokmin was asleep on the couch, curled up into a little ball shivering slightly. She shook her head, grabbing a fur coat from the back room and throwing it on top of him to keep him warm.

She tried to ignore the boy sleeping on her couch by preoccupying herself with work, but she couldn’t help sneaking glances at the idol every few minutes. He looked so peaceful and beautiful when he slept.

“Hey,” Seungcheol knocked and simultaneously entered the room.  
“He was there when I got here this morning.” She pointed.  
“He’s pushing himself…” The leader sighed.  
“It’s for the King of the Masked Singer, right?” She asked.  
“Yeah he really wants to show what he can do…” the rapper shook his head, “I just hope he isn’t pushing himself too much.”  
“You should tell him that you’re worried,” she suggested.  
“I will after I wake him up, we’ve got schedules today. Seokmin.” Seungcheol shook the exhausted singer awake. “Get up!”  
“I am…” He whined standing up and yawning. “Sorry for falling asleep on your couch again Noona,” he bowed.  
“Oh don’t worry about it. Just get more rest Seokie,” she told him before the two left.

***

It was almost routine that every other morning she’d find Seokmin wrapped in a fluffy blanket she’d brought for him. Asleep on the couch. Her or Seungcheol would be the ones to wake him up in the dawn hours of the morning.

She saw the group practically everyday of the week, as it was her job to go with them to photo shoots, and promotional activities to ensure they looked their best. She stayed behind the wall of cameras, sometimes watching the filming and sometimes catching some sleep on a plastic fold up chair.

It was the night before Seokmin’s filming for King of the Masked Singer, and she knew he was nervous. All day at the photo shoot he was fidgeting, not being as loud as he usually was, and not laughing nearly as much as he usually did.

Towards the end of the day the boys all were changed out of their photo shoot outfits and back into sweats.

“Hey, we’re going out to dinner, wanna come?” Seungcheol asked.  
“Sorry I’ve got some work to finish up for tomorrow’s show,” she shook her head.  
“Noona, can I catch a ride to the practice rooms?” Seokmin asked cutting in.  
“Yeah sure,” she nodded.  
“Good luck tomorrow, Seok.” Seungcheol smiled warmly patting the younger on the arm before he left.   
“Thanks hyung,” He grinned, and Seungkwan and Hoshi tackled him from behind in a hug.  
“You’re going to win it hyung!” Dino cheered, the rest of the members raising their voices in agreement. She just watched them surround the main vocalist offering both praise and encouragement. He looked so happy, it made her feel so filled with pride.

“So he apologized?” Minghao’s voice made her jump slightly.  
“Yeah,” she smiled softly.  
“And you told him the truth?”  
“Yeah,” She repeated not taking her eyes off the main vocalist, being jostled around by the other members.  
“Mhm.” Minghao hummed like he knew something. Then again Minghao usually knew everything.

“What?” She snapped when he was looking at her with a mixture of amusement and curiosity.  
“Nothing. Nothing. Have fun…” he trailed off. She was about to ask him what he meant when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Okay Noona, whenever you’re ready.”  
“Right right, leggo!” She cheered waving bye to all the other members as Seokmin trailed her out.  
“Thanks for agreeing to drive me,” He said in a quieter tone than he’d normally use.  
“Of course Seokie, anytime,” she smiled back, looking at the way his eyes were always alive with emotion. She noticed he was staring again and quickly looked down at the floor, “hey don’t be nervous about tomorrow,”  
“It’s hard not to be,” He laughed.  
“If it makes you nervous, just take your mind off of things,” she shrugged.  
“How?”   
“I don’t know… when I was preparing for my interview I listened to a lot of Big Bang, and I sketched. What takes your mind off of your nerves?”  
“Singing?” He laughed.  
“Well then just do that,” looking over at him with an unsaid fondness that she just couldn’t get rid of.  
“All the other members say I sing too often too loudly,” he laughed.  
“I don’t mind!” She spat out before she could even think the words. They approached the old car, she climbed into the driver’s seat and he took shotgun.

“For all the times I’ve seen this car, I’ve never been inside it.” He looked around at the inside.  
“Nicer than you thought?” She asked raising an eyebrow and twisting the key to fire up the ignition.  
“No it’s a lot worse…” he joked.  
“Ha ha. At least I have a car,” she pointed out.  
“If you can even call this a car…”  
“You’re the worst!” She cackled resting her head on the steering wheel to catch her breath.  
“You have a weird laugh,” he pointed out bluntly.  
“Really?” She laughed again, unable to help the broken kind of windshield wiper laugh she had.  
“Yeah…” he just smiled letting her know it wasn’t all that unpleasant.  
“You can use the aux cord if you’d like.” She pointed. He just nodded plugging in his phone and playing Seventeen’s ‘Mansae’. Of which she didn’t know the lyrics. He looked at her expectantly.

“OH COME ON!” He laughed, “You don’t know it?”  
“No?” She cringed.  
“I’m hurt,” he held his hand over his heart dramatically.  
“You should be cast in a historical drama with those reactions,” she pointed out joking.  
“I’d be the handsome lead actor,”  
“More like the crappy mother in law.” 

They laughed until their sides hurt. It felt amazing, and he was all too good at making her laugh.

“So play something I actually know,” she swerved down a street, heading towards the building.  
“Fine how about…” he chose the song that she knew all too well.

“Whoaaaa oh ohhhh,” she sang the best she could, knowing it couldn’t compare to any of the idols. Taking her hands off the steering wheel and clapping until the car swerved dangerously on the empty street.   
“I awaken with the black of night, everyone come in who’s turn is it next?” Seokmin sang along, she let him sing solo. His voice really was incredible. Dare she say the best singer in Korea? He pointed to her at T.O.P’s rap line.

“Switch up this loser atmosphere so they can’t hide this insanity.” She rapped keeping up with the lyrics she knew all too well.  
“B.I.G yeah we bang like this everyone together!” He sang.  
“Just like you’ve been shot!” She exclaimed.  
“BANG BANG BANG!” He danced the dance as best he could restrained by the confines of the car, and just shouted along.  
“BANGYA BANGYA BANGYA!”

“Give praise and spread it out, louder!” He prompted her to rap again. 

“WE GO HARD WE’RE THE NIGHT’S WATCHMEN! This song is the apex, it’s so fun, so sing aloud!” She shouted enthusiastically. She couldn’t take her eyes off the road, but she felt him watching her out of the corner of her eye.

When the song ended they both collapsed in laughter again.

“Sheesh I hope your voice doesn’t give out before tomorrow. We probably shouldn’t do that again,” she smiled.  
“It’s okay I go on vocal rest at midnight.” He informed her checking the time displayed on the dashboard. “I didn’t know you could rap?”  
“Oh my god I can’t rap!” She giggled at his comment.  
“But you’re obviously a fan of G-Dragon,” he pointed out.  
“Oh of course.” She nodded, “he has such a unique signature style, I love it. I love him so much,” She exclaimed. Without G-Dragon she probably wouldn’t be pursuing her dream.  
“You love him?” Seokmin asked surprised.  
“I love his work.” She clarified, “everything about him is incredible…”  
“Yeah I heard he’s a great guy,” the younger said sarcastically.

“What?” She was taken aback by his sudden change of tone. “Is everything okay?”  
“Yeah it’s fine,” he sighed, “I should probably go on vocal rest now, just to be safe.”  
“Alright,” She looked to her side concerned finding a frown on his face. “Hey, don’t worry so much about tomorrow! Stop frowning! I hate it when you frown.” He just looked over at her surprised, but smiling slightly. “Better!” She chuckled. “Do you want to hear a story?” He just nodded eagerly. She turned down the music still playing and began.

“Well once when I was really little, my parents would let me play dress up. And I saw this amazing coat in my mom’s closet that looked like a leopard print that Roora once wore. So I put it on, and wore it to dinner. It was like ten sizes too big for me, but my Mom didn’t make a comment. But that night we had ramen for dinner… and I didn’t think about the coat and I accidentally dipped the sleeves right into the soup broth…” she laughed remembering the incident all too clearly. 

“Apparently that coat was the most expensive thing in my mom’s closet. I got in such big trouble, and the stain would never wash out.” She remembered back to when she could be invited home. When her parents would say ‘I love you’ everyday. No longer having that ached, and she felt a tear fall down her cheek.

“Sorry,” she held back her tears.  
“It’s okay,” He said even though he was supposed to not be talking.  
“I know I must look like a bad daughter. I left my parents home with just an idea of what I wanted to do. I am a bad daughter.” She laughed bitterly,  
“jesus why did this have to get so deep?” He just smiled at her reaching out to brush the tear off her cheek while she drove. “Thanks,” she remarked. “Oh look we’re here,”

She locked the car behind them, using her employees I.D card to get into the building. He followed her down to the basement.  
“I’ll be in my office if you need me.” She assured him. “I can drive you home whenever.” He grinned and bowed gratefully. “See you,” she waved and they parted ways.

The finishing touches on Seokmin’s mask costume of a Baby Devil required some hand stitching. She sewed the seam up on the boots that went above the knee hoping they would fit right. She then made the belt for his printed tunic which took another hour. By the time she was finished it was around 1AM, and she left to go check up on Seokmin in the practice room.

He was practicing a dance to one of Seventeen’s older songs, mouthing along with the words. She entered quietly, bringing her sketchbook and sitting on the floor behind him. He gave no indication of knowing that she was there.

“Adore u, these days I, adore u,” the song played. She tried to busy herself sketching outfit concepts and design ideas, but kept getting distracted. Seokmin’s movements were precise and sharp, obviously being an extremely gifted dancer too. 

Literally a perfect idol. 

She didn’t know why but she found minor obsession with his arms, that just looked so strong and solid. Her imagination went to the thought of them wrapped around her, warming her core, pinning her to a wall aggressively.

“Shit…” she shook herself out of those thoughts as quickly as she found herself thinking them. She couldn’t help how sexy he looked when he danced. It wasn’t her fault for thinking like that. 

When the song ended he collapsed on the floor, breathing heavily and resting his hands on his stomach.  
“Don’t fall asleep here,” she said. His attention immediately snapped up to see her sitting across the room on the floor. She scooted forward, looking down at his matted brown hair, and tanned skin. “You’re an incredible dancer, you know that?” She told him honestly. He laughed silently shaking his head his cheeks flushed from the workout. 

“I can order some dinner for us,” she suggested, pulling out her phone. He shook his head pulling out his phone too.

“Nope you’re on vocal rest, Seokie. Now that I’m not broke I’ll treat you. As your Noona,” she smiled when he rolled his eyes dramatically. “How does Jjolmyeon sound?” She asked. He just nodded enthusiastically, practically salivating at the mention of food. “Great!” She smiled.

She sat around watching him dance a little more until she got the notification on her phone that the delivery was close. Leaving the practice room with a wave of acknowledgement towards Seokmin and heading to the front doors of the Entertainment company.

“Hi,” she greeted the delivery boy on a motorcycle masked in a leather jacket. 

When he flipped back the visor of his helmet she almost gasped. He looked surprisingly like Seokmin. With youthful features looking to be no older than 22. Warm brown eyes and tanned skin… but instead of the idol’s adorable dusty brown hair the delivery boy’s was matte black. Washing out his complexion too much. 

“Hello, here’s your Jjolmyeon.” He handed her the bag, “why are you ordering so late? It’s like 2AM?” He asked bluntly. His voice was smooth and high pitched reminding her just that much more of the idol waiting for his food.  
“Huh?” She asked confused.  
“Sorry, I shouldn’t be asking this. Are you like, an idol or something?” He looked at her in awe.  
“Me? Do I look like an idol to you?” She asked sarcastically.  
“Well, yeah,” he nodded.  
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” She smiled happy to receive the praise. “And no I’m technically not an idol. I’m a stylist. I'm an idol stylist.”  
“Really? You look so young though!”   
“I got lucky with this job,” she smiled, “You look young too, how old are you?”

“I’m... 20,” He informed her, taking a minute to think about it. She laughed at his attempts to remember his own age.  
“I’m 21,” she informed him, “95 liner,”  
“Hey, I’m a 95 liner too! I guess your birthday already passed though,”  
“Yeah,” she nodded, “Are you a university student then?”  
“Mhmm I’m studying biology,” he replied.  
“That’s tough…” she hissed not exactly getting along with science all that well.  
“I like it well enough,” he smiled.  
“Ah you must be some sort of genius,” she laughed.

“Noona, what’s taking so long?” A familiar voice interrupted their conversation.

“Oh is he an idol?” The delivery boy asked whispering to the side.  
“Yeah, he’s one of the best.” She smiled, trying not to react when Seokmin casually draped himself over her like a blanket.  
“Noona, I’m hungry.” He whined, his breath tickling the shell of her ear. She shivered, he was just so close. Closer than he needed to be.  
“Sorry sheesh,” she chuckled.

“Here’s the food, Miss…?” The delivery boy interrupted, trailing off as if asking for her name.  
“Youjin. It’s Youjin, but you can call me…”  
“Noona… hurry up!” Seokmin whined again interrupting her.

“Well Youjin-Noona, I hope you enjoy the noodles. Good luck with whatever you’re doing,” he looked between her and Seokmin for a moment.  
“And good luck getting that biology degree! I’m sure you’ll succeed.” She grinned taking the bag from him and slipping a few bills into his hand, their fingers grazing over each other.  
“Hey maybe if you want… we could uh, exchange phone numbers?” He asked hopefully. 

“She doesn’t even know your name.” Seokmin said plainly.  
“Oh… uh… Youjin-noona you’re just really pretty…” he stuttered nervously. She was about to offer up her contact, but Seokmin interrupted again.  
“You just met her. Hands off.” Seokmin wrapped his arms tighter around her after seeing her blush at the delivery boy’s words. “She’s taken.”  
“What?” The boy asked confused. Youjin didn’t know what to say, so she just stood there shocked when Seokmin slowly kissed her on the cheek. 

“Oh sorry Youjin-ssi I didn’t know…” he backed away.  
“It’s… it’s fine…” She stuttered her hand coming up to touch the spot where Seokmin had kissed.  
“I’ll be going.”  
“Yeah sounds good,” Seokmin said threateningly. The delivery boy rode away as fast as he could.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” She demanded shoving Seokmin off of her.  
“He looked like a creep, Noona! I was just protecting you from creepy men like that!” Seokmin justified.  
“He was a college student, Seokmin. How did you even think he was a creep?” She shrieked.  
“He just seemed kind of weird, asking out a person he met once? On a job? Plus it was purely based on looks! He doesn’t even know you well enough to ask you out,” Seokmin fumed, kicking a rock on the concrete.  
“Seokmin… thank you for looking out for me. But you know I can take care of myself.” She frowned.

“You weren’t actually going to give him your phone number, were you?”  
“Seokie you wouldn’t understand! You’ve got the members and all your idol friends, sometimes I just want something like that,”  
“Noona, you ARE our friend!”  
“I know, I know,” She let herself smile at the overprotective idol.  
“It’s not just me who thinks so. Minghao, Seungcheol, everyone considers you a part of the team, idol or not,” he told her. She chuckled, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and squeezing him closer.  
“You really are one of a kind Seokie,” She laughed.  
“You did NOT just reference a G-Dragon song,” he groaned playfully squeezing her arm.  
“It wasn’t on purpose!” She clarified, “now get back on vocal rest!”  
“Yes Noona.”  
“VOCAL REST!”

They ate their food in comfortable silence, though she couldn’t deny her cheek was still tingling from the feeling of his lips. She’d been kissed before, but somehow just one meaningless peck on the cheek made her feel one thousand times happier.

“Hey, let’s get home yeah?” She asked. He nodded smiling all the while.

She dropped him off back at the dorms.  
“Get some rest.” She told him patting his shoulder before he got out of the car. He nodded smiling that signature smile of his back at her. She couldn’t help carding her fingers lightly through his dusty brown hair, it feeling just like reflex. If she leaned forward she could kiss him. But she didn’t, and he didn’t. Leaving a comfortable space between them. 

“Goodnight Seokminnie.”


	12. Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe she stepped over that line. Maybe she can’t help it.

The next day would be the shooting of King of the Masked Singer, and she really didn’t know what to do, trailing Seventeen’s manager around for a little bit until they got to the waiting room. Later she would receive his mask from the station too, which she had to be prepared for.

“Morning.” Seokmin cheerfully entered the waiting room. Humming to a song playing through his earbuds.  
“Hey,” she waved. Some of the other staffs of the television show looked surprised at the friendly exchange. He sat down next to her on the couch, his fingers twitching in nervousness.

“Calm down Seokie.” She told him.  
“I can’t… I always get like this before a show.”  
“Don’t pick at your nails like that,” she swatted at his hands which were fiddling nervously in his lap.  
“Gee, you’re sure a comfort,” he said sarcastically.  
“Hey you should be thankful there’s someone around your age here. You’d be stuck with old geezers if it wasn’t for Noona.”  
“Don’t ever refer to yourself as Noona,”  
“Then start being more appreciative, brat.” They playfully bickered before Seventeen’s manager started talking to the idol, a mile a minute. Briefing him on the schedules.

“I’ve got to go,” he told her standing up. Nodding she got up and hugged him around the waist.  
“Good luck, if I don’t see you before the show,” She said softly. Letting him go after only a moment.  
“Thanks…” He said under his breath smiling widely before turning around and following the manager out of the room. Some of the camera staff was looking at her weird, but they just followed the idol out of the room as well.

Unfortunately, she didn’t see the idol before his performance, but she did get a seat just backstage so she could see him perform. When he took the stage, mask on, wearing her outfit she made for him, he looked like he’d already won. 

The girl wearing a mask and standing next to him bowed politely, and she watched him bow back. They had practiced the same song for weeks apart, and now they would get to sing it together finally.

She sighed kicking her feet up and leaning back in her chair waiting for the recording to start.

Select Group Chat: JinJunHao

Jin: He’s recording now, want me to send a vid?  
Jun: SEND ONE!!!  
Jun: wish him luck from Jun-hyung!  
Minghao: and Minghao  
Jin: I’ll tell him after?  
Jun: sounds GOOD Noona  
Jin: brb it’s starting

With the beginning notes of the familiar song she’d heard over the past week, she watched the way Seokmin took over the stage. His vocals being both more powerful and having more range than the girl he was singing against. She decided he was the best singer in Korea.

When the song ended she stood up and applauded just like the rest of the crowd.  
“GO Seokie!” She yelled, on voice out of hundreds in the massive crowd. Yelling just to know she supported her friend.

***

“HEY NOONA!” Seokmin burst into the room. She jumped at the noise. Only blinking twice before she was wrapped in a sweaty hug.  
“Seokie,” She laughed.  
“Did you watch it?” He asked eyes alight.  
“I wouldn’t ever miss a performance.” She smiled, “I always have to check if my outfits look good on stage.”  
“Where were you? The mask I had on blocked my vision, and I couldn’t see you in the crowd,”  
“I was backstage.” She explained, “but I watched the whole thing live I promise!” He nodded grinning brightly again. She only just noticed he was still hugging her, not even realizing to let go. “I can order some food if you let go of me,” she suggested. He nodded sheepishly letting go of her waist and plopping down unceremoniously next to her.  
“Just not Jjolmyeon.” He shook his head.  
“How about chicken?”  
“Chicken sounds good,”

That night was the most she’d laughed since when she was a child playing around with her friends in the sun of a Summer day. Seokmin’s personality was literally as radiant as the summer sun, cracking witty jokes and stupid jokes just trying to get her to laugh one way or another. Some she didn’t understand, some were just really bad, but the way he told them made her laugh that much more.

“You have a weird laugh,” he pointed out only chuckling more at the sound.  
“You said that already!” She hit him lightly on the arm, offering another piece of chicken to Seventeen’s manager who had decided to join in on their meal. Seokmin suddenly turned contemplative, “what is it?” She asked.  
“After you got your job with Pledis, is there anything you want now?” He asked. “You just seem like you want something still.”  
“I…” She blushed pink not knowing really what he meant. She could say that HE was all she wanted but that would sound cheesy, and his manager was sitting right there. She wouldn’t dare.  
“I mean dream wise,” he suggested.  
“I want my own fashion line.” She said without hesitation. “And I want a dog,”  
“A dog?” He asked surprised.  
“Yeah! A dog that I can take care of.”  
“Why don’t you get one then?”  
“Please, my schedule is practically half as bad as yours. I wouldn’t ever be able to take care of it,” sighing she shrugged.  
“Maybe one day?”  
“Yeah.” She said wistfully, catching herself staring at his eyes once more. “Sorry,” she laughed embarrassed looking down at the floor.  
“It’s fine. I didn’t notice until you pointed it out,” He was literally sunshine, she didn’t know what to say back but awkwardly nod.

“Jin, pass me another chicken,” Seventeen’s manager asked pointing. She laughed wrapping a piece in a napkin and handed it over.

Seokmin won the first round, something that was expected but still rejoiced. Unfortunately Jin didn’t get to see him afterwards, as he was swarmed with people congratulating him, and the manager said she could go home.

This marked one of the last days of Seventeen’s music show promotions and the beginning of their pending tour. With Seokmin having two more Masked Singer recordings if he made it through the second round.

Her next assignment was planning out stage outfits for the shows. It would be a world tour which meant planning for durability as well as style.

They would perform in Seoul on that Friday, then travel through the South of South Korea hitting Busan, Incheon then Singapore, Japan, and Thailand. Unfortunately not China though.

“This is my coup d’état…” she sang stitching up the buckle of some of the belts she’d made.

“Like a boomerang going from mouth to mouth. Hand up up, get high,” Seungcheol sang entering her office with a nod of his head.  
“Yo Coups leader,” She saluted.  
“How’s the tour preparations going?” He asked.  
“Good. I’ve been scheduling for your three photo shoots this week, I think you also have a CM filming?”  
“Yeah, for moisturizer,” He nodded.  
“That’ll be fun,” she grinned sarcastically. He just rolled his eyes, looking over at the new pictures hung on her office walls.  
“I heard something from the CEO that you may not like,” he said cautiously.  
“Huh?”  
“He wants to get you an assistant.”  
“Extra help? I wouldn’t mind as long as it’s not coming out of my paycheck,” She laughed.  
“He’s gonna talk to you about it after the tour starts, I just wanted to give you a heads up,”  
“Thanks Cheol.” She smiled at the Snow White faced rapper who had become such a permanent feature of her life. It was now two months since she had joined the company officially, and all of the members of seventeen give or take had wormed their way into her heart, one way or another.

Minghao’s cute appearance, but tough personality that could intimidate anyone. Jun’s awkwardness and reliance on others for strength. Jisoo, Jeonghan, and S. Coups comforting parent figures of the group in their own right. The puppy dog Mingyu, drama queen Seungkwan, and meme king Vernon. Seokmin who was just perfect, in every aspect of the word. Wonwoo who she still hadn’t figured out yet. Hoshi and Dino’s energy, and Woozi’s talent.  
“I’m going to head off to practice, but if you have any questions we’ll be down the hall.” He smiled pushing open the door.  
“Thanks Cheolie, fighting.” She waved.

***

The first and second shows of the tour passed in a flurry of chaos. She was bogged down with work for the upcoming shows, so she couldn’t watch their performances and instead stuck in the dressing rooms on her laptop which was fairly disappointing. She wished them a brief good luck beforehand.

And then the weekend returned. Seokmin’s second performance on King of the Masked Singer.

She arrived early as usual, ironing out his costume just before he needed to go change into it.  
“Youjin,” the manager nodded entering the waiting room.  
“Jin-Noona!” Seokmin shouted walking in behind him. “Morning!” He beamed. She just stupidly smiled back unable to help it. His brown chestnut colored hair was unstyled and flopping in his face in front of his warm eyes. She just wanted to reach out and brush the stray hairs away. Too adorable.

“Hey Seokie.” She held up the garment to hide her blushing face and handed it to him with acutely shaking hands. “All pressed out and ready for the show,”  
“No good luck hug?” His plump lips pouting in what could only be torture for her restraint.  
“Ugh,” wrapping her arms around him like it was only natural and pressing her cheek up against his heart. It felt natural, like it was in her muscle reflex to just hug Seokmin whenever he asked for it. How could she deny him? 

“Good luck. Don’t mess up.” She said softly separating them after a moment.  
“I never mess up,” he joked waving as the manager pulled him out of the room, “BYE NOONA!” And with that he was gone.

She had watched him singing from backstage standing with Seventeen’s manager.

“FIGHTING SEOKMINNIE!” She yelled. He won the second round too, moving on closer to winning the whole show.

***

Later that week the CEO sent her an email regarding a new project. 

The hip hop team would be releasing a unit comeback in November with a music video. The song was called “Check In” and it was themed around idols who wanted to travel the world.

Returning back to her office, she got to work picking out pieces and places along the stops for the world tour that would be available for the music video. She hadn’t traveled with them outside of Korea yet, but soon would be the Japanese and Hong Kong shows overseas.

Going to Japan was crazy. It was mid July, and the weather was scorching outside. Even the Tokyo asphalt was melting the soles of their sneakers.

She got some time off to relax, but she decided to go sightseeing instead. Having never been outside Korea, it was a completely new experience for her.

“I think Seokmin is flying back for the weekend filming of Masked Idol.” Seungcheol told her, “are you going too?”  
“No, I have to stay with everyone here in Japan.” She told him sighing. She never liked missing his performances, but her work needed her here in Japan.

It was Thursday night, it was around 90 degrees outside. She was lounging on her hotel bed sketching garments and ideas in her underwear because it was honestly boiling outside. Even the cracked open door wasn’t providing the room with enough airflow to cool it down.

She was halfway through sketching a plaid suit jacket when she heard someone knock, and promptly enter without even checking.

“Hey I was just about to catch the flight back…”  
“HOLY SHIT!” She shrieked, grabbing a pillow off the bed and hiding her bare torso behind it.  
“SORRY! I’M SO SORRY!” Seokmin shouted turning around, blushing a brilliant red color after barging into her room.  
“Honestly at least ASK if you can come in first,” She scowled.  
“I’m sorry I assumed because the door was open…” she could hear the pout in his voice, even if he was turned away from her.  
“Now that you’re here, what was so urgent?” She frowned looking around for a T-shirt or something to cover her.  
“I was just about to leave for the airport, and I uh… I was looking for a good luck hug?” He hesitated with his words.  
“Oh…” all the anger left her. He didn’t know any better, and she couldn’t stay mad at him for long.

“SEOKMIN! WHERE ARE YOU?” Seventeen’s manager called from out in the hallway. His voice fading as he entered some of the other boy’s rooms to check for the idol.

“I guess I should go…” He was still turned around not facing her.  
“Wait!” She cut in feeling slightly daring, “don’t you still want your good luck hug?” He froze.  
“Yes… yes…” he stuttered. His reaction gave her courage.  
“And you wouldn’t mind if I gave you a hug, right now?” She said calmly standing up, the bed shifting under her weight, dressed only in her bra and panties. Wrapping the throw blanket at the foot of the bed around her.  
“N… no,” He was still frozen in his spot.

Snaking her bare arms around his torso and snuggling into his back, only the blanket pressed between them.

“Good luck Seokminnie.” She said softly by his ear. Holding down a laugh when she saw him chewing on his lip nervously. “I know you’ll sing perfectly, just like always,”  
“Th… thanks Noona.” He said shakily taking in a breath. She giggled, tickling his side with her hand.  
“Don’t thank me, just don’t mess up,” she joked.  
“I never mess up.” He shook his head, looking over his shoulder to meet her gaze. Warm eyes even hotter like simmering coals. His lips red from chewing on them so much. He leaned slowly towards her, and she only let him, but before their lips could meet, a voice cut into their trance.

“SEOKMIN! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?” He cringed at his manager’s voice from the hallway. She released him, her arms falling limp at her sides.

“I gotta go…” He stepped forward not looking over his shoulder.  
“Yeah. Good luck.” She said softly. He nodded and literally sprinted out of the hotel room, the door slamming behind him. She hoped she hadn’t just made a big mistake.


	13. Checking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol was right, the CEO did want her to get a new assistant. Moon Junhui may be the most obvious person alive.

“Check in Seoul city, I check in Singapore city,” She was listening to the hip hop team’s track they were going to release.

“You know there’s a lot of beautiful places to film in Hong Kong, Cheolie,” she told the leader. Typing something into her laptop.

It was a couple weeks from the hotel room incident, July bleeding into August. Fall approaching fast. They were in Singapore promoting on tour. 

She had talked with Seokmin since he got back and basically ignored the whole ‘we would’ve kissed if we weren’t interrupted’ thing. He chose to ignore it too which was relieving.

He had lost in the third round, being eliminated from the show, unfortunately. 

“Maybe I’m just your good luck charm,” she joked. But in the end, she was upset for him. She wanted him to win the show and prove to everyone just how talented a vocalist he really was.

“Yeah, if you can book the sites, then we can film when we go there on tour,” the leader nodded from the back of the van. The group was on their way back to the hotel after the show, riding in three vans (one for each unit).

“Maybe we can film at that big tower thing…” Mingyu added excitedly. She nodded at the hip hop team’s excitement.  
“I can shoot an email over to CEO and the company officials. They’ll create schedules for filming.” She assured them.  
“What about the clothes Noona?” Vernon asked.  
“I’ve brought some with me, but we can always use the extra company budget to buy local pieces that suit the concept,” she explained, pulling up a few images on her phone of the clothes she brought with her.  
“And what should we do with our hair?” Seungcheol added.  
“Hmmm I don’t know, neon orange?” She laughed at the ridiculousness of it all.  
“Okay Noona!” Mingyu nodded. She wasn’t sure if he was aware of her sarcasm or not, making a mental note to explain to NOT get neon orange hair for the video shoots.

***

Hong Kong was unlike anywhere Youjin had ever seen before. It was a giant mixing pot of languages, ethnicities, and cultures. She loved the beauty of the architecture, even the airport when she arrived.

The hotel accommodations were also quite nice. She got a whole room with an amazing view of the city to herself.

They would be shooting clips for the videos before the concert, so she didn’t have any resting time. Going out to local stores and buying the rest of the clothes she needed for their video shoot.

The first location was the Lai Tak Tsuen Estate, a tower built of concentric turquoise circles stretching towards the sky.

When she arrived she noticed two things. One, that the filming crew was already set up and waiting for the idols to get prepped. Two, Mingyu’s hair was neon orange.

“JESUS CHRIST!” She exclaimed upon first glance.  
“Hey Noona!” He greeted cheerfully.  
“You look like you dipped your head in a bag of Cheetos…” she mused, amused and alarmed at the same time.  
“I like it,” he smiled running a hand through the dyed locks.   
“Okay these are your outfits. Hurry up and get changed and we’ll see how the hair problem looks on camera,” she sighed.

Luckily Mingyu’s neon orange hair didn’t pose too much of a problem, damn his visuals. He could pull anything off and still look mildly decent.

They finished filming by nighttime, downtown the streets were alight with multi colored street lamps. S Coups, dressed in a orange detailed long sleeve shirt, and ripped grey jeans was doing some individual shots and then it would be a wrap.

She had got to see all over Hong Kong, thanking the hip hop team for filming in such a beautiful location. Even getting some images to post to her own SNS account in the incredible places.

“CUT! That’s a wrap!” The camera director shouted. She cheered with the rest of the crew and the four idols.

She gave them back their sweats to change into, and out of the video outfits.  
“We’re going to get dinner with everyone, can you come?” Seungcheol offered taking the garment bag.  
“Yeah, as long as I get a ride there.” She smiled.  
“Deal.” He smiled.

She found herself stuck on what to wear. The place sounded like it was a little more than casual, but her suitcase wasn’t very big so she hadn’t packed for any special occasions.

“Maybe…” she held up a black slip dress that fell past her knees and a patterned silk kimono jacket. Putting the two on, with black ankle boots, she curled her long dark hair and put on a coat of makeup.

Noticing in the mirror that she had gained weight, she felt proud. She wasn’t the malnourished bony stick that she used to be, actually filling out her clothes now. Her skin also looked less sickly and more porcelain colored.

She left the hotel room, leather bag in hand meeting the hip hop team outside at the van.  
“I CALL SHOTGUN!” Vernon shouted. She chuckled waving to the boys from afar.

“You look really nice, Noona,” Mingyu greeted, already getting into the car.  
“Thanks,” she smiled, piling in after Seungcheol.

They arrived at the restaurant to find the rest of Seventeen already seated at a long table. They greeted the five with hellos.  
“How’d the filming go?” Hoshi asked chipperly.  
“Great! It’s all wrapped up,” Seungcheol replied sitting at the head of the table. She could see Seokmin busily talking with Jeonghan out of the corner of her eye, sending her a few sideways glances that only lasted half seconds.

“Noona,” Minghao called from the end of the table near Jun and some of the filming crew.  
“Hey,” she smiled sitting down next to the Chinese idol, “had a good day off?”  
“It was awesome,” Jun agreed nodding, “we went out shopping and eating.”  
“Yeah it was fun,” Minghao smiled over at the older idol sitting beside him. “Where did you film?”  
“We filmed all around downtown, in the residential district…” she explained listing a few places. “Downtown by the harbor was really pretty too,”

She was retelling the day to the two Chinese idols when a waiter tapped her shoulder. She turned around to see him holding a pinkish drink in his hand.  
“What?” She asked confused.  
“The blonde at the bar wanted to send his regards,” the proper looking waiter explained. She sighed, pushing the drink towards Mingyu who was eyeing the drink as if it were food.  
“Thanks…” She cringed when the blonde man at the bar winked at her across the room. The waiter left shortly.

“Jesus… this is bad,” she groaned.  
“Oh come on Noona, don’t act like you don’t want the attention,” Jun joked. Minghao smiled, but understood something she didn’t say aloud.  
“If you want I could bring out nunchucks and tell him to back off,” Minghao suggested all too seriously.  
“Wait you have nunchucks?” She laughed. He just nodded sipping the iced tea from his glass. Jun was laughing the hardest, hitting Minghao’s shoulder playfully.  
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t have them with him right now,” He suggested, but was cut off when an unknown voice approached them from behind.

“Hey,” he spoke English. She looked over her shoulder seeing a black haired Hong Kong man in a suit.  
“Uh hello?” She said confused.  
“Do you want to get out of here?” The complete stranger offered his hand. And all of a sudden the blonde man from the bar was at their table too.  
“We could both take you back.” The blonde said. Minghao and Junhui looked confused not understanding English.  
“So is that a yes?” The greasy black haired man asked.  
“No. It’s not,” She frowned.  
“Why, sweetie? You don’t seem to having very much fun over here,” the blonde leaned closer and that’s when Minghao stood up. Harshly saying something in rapid fire Chinese, getting between her and the strangers.  
“What’s he saying?” The black haired man asked scared shitless. Minghao looked over his shoulder giving her a knowing look.

“Pretend.” He said in Korean, before continuing with his Chinese rant.  
“You just pissed off my boyfriend, who may be an expert in martial arts,” she said standing up and linking her and Minghao’s hands.  
“Holy shit,” the blonde walked away haughtily, and the raven haired man was quick to follow. Scared out of their boots of the Chinese speaking idol.

She sighed after they left, giving Minghao’s hand a squeeze before sitting down and realizing everyone’s eyes at the table were on her.  
“Wow…” Seungcheol smiled, “what a cute couple,” he teased.  
“Piss off. Those idiots just needed to be put in place,” She retorted rolling her eyes. 

Most of the table laughed, but she noticed Jun wasn’t laughing, fearfully looking between her and Minghao. She had no clue what he had to be afraid of though. Seokmin gave her a playful grin from across the table, his eyes wrinkled with mirth.  
“That’s our strong Noona,” he said softly, she nudged his foot under the table.

“Thanks Hao Hao,” She told the taller grinning up at the Chinese idol.  
“Anytime.” He laughed, then scanned the restaurant as a few more men were hungrily staring at her from the bar.  
“Shit why are men such creeps?” She hissed.  
“Here, wear this.” Minghao grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and wrapped it around her shoulders. “I don’t think they’ll bother you,” 

She caught Seokmin staring at the gesture, with an unreadable expression on his face. He wasn’t obviously upset or angry, but he looked somewhat forlorn. Giving him a questioning glance and pulling the leather jacket tighter around her.

Jun was plain out pouting at the gesture, pinching Minghao’s shoulder so he’d give him more attention. She knew the older was jealous, it was glaringly obvious.  
“Hao Hao, dont you think that’s extra?” Jun whined throwing an arm loosely around the younger. She could see the panic in Junhui’s expression every time Minghao offered her some form of affection whether it be platonic or not.

“After tonight I’m burning this dress in hell,” she told Seokmin jokingly. As Minghao was occupied with a whiny Moon Junhui.

“Honestly it's not your fault some men are pigs,” he chuckled back, “you shouldn’t burn it. You look really nice.”  
“Thanks,” she smiled sipping her fizzy lemonade and hiding her red cheeks.

The food was good, the desserts were even better.  
“CHOCOLATE CAKE!” Her eyes lit up at the sight.  
“Fan of chocolate?” Seokmin asked noticing her expression.  
“You couldn’t tell?” She laughed.

Returning back to the hotel, she folded up her dress and silk robe and buried them deep in the very bottom of her suitcase. For all the trouble trying to look nice caused, she wasn’t sure it was worth it. Although, Seokmin had a good point. It wasn’t her fault that the men at the bar were drunk dirtbags.

***

Her Hong Kong trip ended a few days later, after their second show. The cold September air piercing through her coat as she walked into the airport alone. She took an earlier flight back to Seoul, as the boys had some more things to finish up.

She knew that the “Check In” comeback was in less than a month, preparing for the hip hop units stage costumes. She’d also heard more about the early December comeback Woozi was finishing up the details for. Their mv shoot had to be later that month.

Landing in Seoul the CEO spammed her inbox with profiles about candidates for her assistant. Seungcheol was right.

The first two were women in their mid thirties, who she didn’t think would suit her work style very well. There were some younger applicants, but none were younger than her.

The ninth file is the one that really caught her attention. A boy… the only male applicant. Proudly homosexual. And three years older than her. Cho Youngshin was his name.

She read his self written bio. Musing over his penmanship, and his demonstrations of skills. He was still going to university to get his degree, but he was modeling and acting on the side.

“Dear CEO-Nim,

Please get me an interview with candidate number nine. Cho Youngshin. He’s the only one I’m interested in working with so far. 

Shin Youjin”

Being on the other side of the panel was thrilling. She got to sit next to the CEO and some top company officials as they waited for the arrival of the one named Cho Youngshin.

“And you’re sure about this?” One of the officials asked. “He is gay…”  
“What’s wrong with that?” She replied scowling.  
“Everyone will be judged equally.” The CEO cut her off calmly.

“Hello?” He entered the conference room following behind the Bird-lady Secretary. The CEO told him to take a seat and he did.

It was Youjin’s duty to provide him with the questions. The boy looked just like his profile picture, just like a flower prince. Even though he was three years older than her, he looked to be ages younger.

“Cho Youngshin?” She read off the clipboard raising an eyebrow curiously. “Can I ask your past experience?”  
“I’ve worked as a part-time model for years, and am used to working full-time as an assistant to a manager.” He told her. His voice was soft and airy.  
“And why do you want this job?” She demanded.  
“I want to get a background to the idol industry, before I pursue acting and modeling after I graduate,”  
“You’re three years older than me and you still don’t have a degree?” She asked.  
“I’m studying Engineering and mathematics it takes longer than a liberal arts degree,”  
“I see.” She pretended to write something down on her clipboard, looking over her fake glasses at the applicant.

The CEO launched into a series of basic questions about his past work. The interview was about to wrap up when the same company official asked.

“Do you think it’s problematic that you’re openly gay and applying for a job?”  
“What the fuck?” She asked aloud looking down the line at the stunned older man. The CEO was looking between the two amused. “Being gay isn’t the problem, being homophobic is.” She hissed harshly hitting the table with her palm and standing up.

“I think this interview is over. Feel free to leave,” the CEO cut in before things escalated. She gathered her belongings and opened the door for the applicant, following him out.

“Thank you,” Youngshin said smiling brightly when the door closed behind them.  
“Hm?” She asked confused.  
“About the homophobia thing… thank you,”  
“Oh don’t mention it. That asshole is just closed minded,” she rolled her eyes, “you know if you got the job I’d be your boss.”  
“Mhmm.” He nodded cheerfully.  
“Would that be a problem since I’m three years younger than you?” She demanded.  
“Not at all… Youjin-ssi.”  
“Call me… Jin,” She offered her hand. He took it shaking firmly. “I was the one who sent your application through. You were our youngest applicant, and seemed like you’ll work hard for the company.”  
“Oh I will if you’d take me, Jin-,” he bowed deeply. Laughing, she reached a fork in the hallway where he would turn left towards the lobby and she’d turn right towards the elevators.  
“I hope to see you soon, Shin-ah.”  
“Me too.” He smiled, “goodbye Jin.”


	14. Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Seventeen goes out for drinks, and she has Youngshin tag along.

Less than a week later, the news was confirmed that Youngshin had been hired as her assistant.

“Good morning.” She greeted the first morning he walked into her office at exactly 8AM.  
“Hello Noona,” he bowed deeply taking a quick glance around the semi-cluttered office. She had just finished the last details of the ‘Boom Boom’ music video outfits, but was still working on their stage costumes.

“Let’s get you settled shall we?” She directed him to a smaller desk that was formerly her sewing table. Cleared off with enough space for a laptop and some office supplies. “This is where you sit. There are a few rules that apply to this job. One, you should get here at around 8AM. I’ll try to accommodate your night classes into the schedule, but 8AM. No later, got it?”  
“Yes ma’am. Should I be writing this down?”  
“Probably.” She shrugged throwing a pad of paper his way, “secondly, you will do all of which I ask of you. You’re my assistant, and hopefully a hard worker.”  
“Yes ma’am.”  
“And thirdly, I expect you to be able to think on your own. I’m assigning you some tasks I might not have time for, so that means you’re in charge of those. Understand?”  
“Sounds good ma’am.”  
“Oh and if you need a QUIET workspace, this isn’t the place for you.” She laughed dumping his bag on the chair, and returning to her desk to work. Flipping on Big Bang and briefing the first assignment she’d give him.

He was to order all the garments she requested from the sites she demanded them from. If he couldn’t even achieve the most basic part of being her assistant, he wouldn’t last very long.

***

Youngshin was quiet. He was introverted and contemplative, showing only professionalism in the workplace. Which wasn’t a bad thing, but she figured if they were to work closely together they might as well be friends.

He’d been introduced to all the members of Seventeen, but there was still that barrier. So when the boys invited her out for drinks, she thought inviting Youngshin was a good idea as well.

She wore a knee length form fitting tan plaid dress, and a long firetruck red duster coat over it. Her long raven hair curled back, a light coat of makeup and cherry red lipstick. Grabbing a simple clutch bag on her way out, she called a cab. Wanting to drink and not worry about driving home.

Arriving at the bar, she met Youngshin outside. He was wearing a pale pink almost cream colored button up, distressed skinny jeans, and brown leather loafers.

“I can see why you’re a model,” she said smiling. He looked so put together and handsome. He could even become an idol if he wanted.  
“I don’t see why you’re NOT a model,” he laughed a high pitched giggle, brushing a piece of dust off her dress.  
“Yeah yeah let’s just go inside, I’m sure everyone is already there,” she said, pushing the older towards the entrance.

The man at the door checked to see if they were of age, she showed him her I.D and was let in. The bar was small and somewhat crowded, but the music wasn’t loud like it would probably be later that night.

“Hey Noona!” Vernon was the first to spot her and Youngshin rushing over and bowing greeting to her new assistant. “Youngshin-ssi,” He said formally.

“Hey Vernonie, is everyone here?”  
“No, the vocal team is on their way. Their practice ran late,” he shrugged leading the two back to where a densely packed group of eight idols stood.

“YO!” Seungcheol approached her, obviously a little tipsy, beer in hand.  
“Hey Cheolie, this is Young…”  
“Youngshin, I know I know. Nice to see you again hyung,” Seungcheol offered his hand which the assistant took shaking cautiously.  
“You can talk with whoever.” She told him, “I’m going to go get a drink.”

She sipped her beer, listening to a story Hoshi and Dino were shouting over each other to tell her about.  
“Mhmm.” She nodded laughing when Soonyoung held his hand over Chan’s mouth just so he could finish.  
“And then Jeonghan-hyung cut his hair…” he panted finally getting it all out.  
“Wow.” She clapped for him, “what a story.”  
“I heard my name…” Jeonghan appeared behind Soonyoung raising an eyebrow.  
“Well I like your hair short Jeonghannie.”  
“Really?” He grinned happily. “Thanks. I’m going to go find Joshuji…” she looked back at Hoshi who was stifling a giggle.  
“Joshuji is the nickname Jeonghan calls Jisoo.” He explained. “He gets mad if anyone else calls Joshua that.”  
“Ah.” She smiled when Hoshi and Dino were tugged away by Seungkwan to the dance floor.

“Are you an idol too?” A man at the bar asked intrigued. Despite being years older than her and the rest of them, he was pretty hot.

“No. I’m not,” She said bluntly downing the rest of her soju and slamming it on the counter behind her.   
“Wow, you can drink.” He smiled a gummy smile.  
“I can hold my alcohol.” She shrugged, noticing how the man was keeping at a respectful distance.   
“A girl who can drink is really hot…” he stumbled over his words, nervously.  
“So you’re calling me really hot?” She teased, taking another glass.  
“Maybe,” he shrugged letting out a deep chuckle, “hey do you want to go?”  
“What?” She was suddenly disgusted by how he just assumed they would have sex even if it was their first time meeting.  
“She’s got a boyfriend.” Seokmin threw an arm over her shoulder. She glared at the man who she saw in a different light until he gave up and walked away.

“You saved me in the knick of time.” She laughed waving the bartender for another soju, cuddling into his side. Already slightly tipsy, but more drunk on his presence. 

“Just like Batman…” the main vocal suggested sipping something that looked to be nonalcoholic. He was wearing a long striped coat, and a tight fitting black turtleneck that emphasized his muscular frame.  
“Isn’t it superman who saves people? Isn’t Batman kind of dark?” She wondered aloud, recalling back to the movies she had seen as a child.  
“I like Batman better,” he shrugged laughing. They sat on the barstools beside each other watching the dance floor.   
“I’m more of a Spider-Man girl.” She informed him, sipping a new Soju slowly. Letting the alcohol burn her throat on the way down in a way that felt so good.  
“Spiders are so gross though.” Seokmin made a face wrinkling up his nose in distaste. She wanted to reach out and kiss it.  
“Yeah but I prefer a superhero who’s funny to a superhero who’s broody.” She justified. Knowing that a witty superhero would be just more her type.

“I can do funny,” he pulled a weird face, and she broke down in laughter.  
“You’re my Spider-Man then.” She grinned until her face hurt. Just enjoying his presence. He could’ve chosen to go out to the dance floor with Hoshi and the others, but he was here protecting her at the bar. It was the first time they’d really talked one on one since the hotel incident, maybe they were low key flirting but who was even keeping track. 

Another man walked by, whistling in her direction. She just flipped him off. “Honestly why does this always happen to me?” She sighed.  
“Come on, you have to know why.” He teased poking her side playfully. The grin decorating his face.  
“I’m honestly at a complete loss,” she groaned, “there’s like a billion other girls here.”  
“But none of them look like you, now do they?” He said knowingly.  
“You’re embarrassing,” she hit his arm, flustered already at any small compliment he was willing to give her.  
“Maybe I meant it as an insult, like you’re just so ugly it’s hard to look away,” he added.  
“Did you mean it like that?” She rolled her eyes, laughing nonetheless.  
“Maybe…” he shrugged. Pouting she pulled on his arm for revenge he squeaked in protest.

“FINE I didn’t mean it that way!” He said rubbing his arm. “I mean don’t play dumb, you’ve got mirrors at home.” She rolled her eyes again, blushing heavily.  
“You look like you want to go dance, join them,” she encouraged pushing him towards the floor.  
“And leave you here alone for creeps to prey on? No way,” he shook his head scanning the room.  
“I’ll go with you,” she suggested.  
“Really?” He asked hopefully. Eyes alight with an unmatched mirth.  
“Yep. Lead the way,” reflexively grabbing her hand he dragged her out to the middle of the floor not letting go. The touch was small, and meaningless, but it sent warmth curling through her fingers. 

When he let go, she was just a little disappointed. Taking the opportunity to shrug off her coat and hang it on the back of a chair.

“Whoaa!” She cheered along with the crowd dancing in whatever way she liked. Squished between a dancing Mingyu, completely standing still Wonwoo and Seokmin who kept directing his blinding smiles her way.

She took a break sitting by her jacket when Junhui sighed and sat down across from her. He looked so defeated.  
“What’s up?” She asked curious as to what had the idol so down.  
“Youngshin and Minghao are really hitting it off,” He shook his head, taking a large gulp of the liquid in his glass. “I’m worried…”  
“About what?”  
“I don’t know…”  
“You’re worried about losing Minghao.” She told him, knowing all too well how jealousy worked.  
“I’m worried about losing Minghao…” he admitted pouting a little bit.  
“He was your friend from the beginning. That’ll never change Jun.” She told him patting his arm comfortingly.  
“You think?”  
“I know.”

Returning to the dance floor, she could see what Jun meant by hitting it off. Minghao grinding up against Youngshin in a far less than innocent way.

“Shit,” she swore.  
“I know…” Seungcheol said from beside her, “I didn’t know they were that close.”  
“They never were,” she told him, afraid for the feelings that came with dancing so intimately like that. Minghao could actually be into Youngshin, which would probably spell disaster between him and Junhui.

She always assumed Junhui and Minghao to be a little too close to just be platonic. They shared everything, went everywhere together, and always looked at each other with hearts in their eyes.  
“I’m worried,” she whispered to the leader.  
“I wouldn’t be concerned, I’m sure Junhui is fine,”  
“How did you know what I was thinking…” she asked.  
“I think everyone is thinking what you’re thinking,” he merely said sending her a knowing glance. Maybe she wasn’t the only one that saw it. The kind of spark that the two foreign idols had between each other. It just couldn’t be platonic.

“Jesus Christ a slow dance? This feels like prom all over again,” she joked swaying to the beat drink in hand.  
“Up for another glass…” Seungcheol asked looking down at her empty bottle.  
“Yes, fuck I’ll need more if I’m going to get through this song without tearing my ears out.” He took the glass and disappeared going to the bar.

“Too tired to dance?” Seokmin asked, pushing to get to her side.  
“Just have never slow danced before,” she cringed at her own words. Like high school all over again. Except this time she was vastly more intoxicated.  
“This sounds like a bad drama line, but want me to teach you?” He asked offering his hand.  
“Sure, Spider-Man.” She took it, “let’s dance,”

“Ouch, you stepped on my foot again,”   
“Oops sorry,”  
“This is the fifth time you’ve said that, at some point it has to be on purpose!” He complained.  
“The dance you’re teaching is too difficult! I’m not an idol,” She retorted.  
“Fine, then something simple.” He grabbed her waist with one hand and wrapped his other arm around her side pulling her closer. She unwillingly gasped, hands coming to rest at the back of his neck, brushing through his chestnut colored hair.  
“Better,” she whispered near his ear. It would be so easy to kiss him, just a quick lean forward and their lips would be touching. He seemed to have the same idea, hand that was drawing small patterns on her back coming up to grip her face.

“HOLY SHIT!” They jumped apart at Hoshi’s voice, looking over to wear the dance team leader was standing. Luckily he wasn’t watching THEM, his back was turned to them.

“Um… I’m sorry…” Seokmin stuttered staring at the ground. She cursed herself for letting him get so close. It hurt to be pushed away, but he was an idol. She was a company worker.  
“Don’t be. Nothing happened.” She snapped shaking her head and frowning. 

She kept throwing her self-control out the window, that needed to stop. Walking towards Hoshi to find out what he was staring at, she caught a glimpse at the scene.

“Holy shit…” Her jaw dropped, Seokmin close behind.  
“That’s Minghao… and your new assistant… making out…”  
“Yep…” She didn’t know what to do. Seungcheol rounding everyone up and turning them away from the scene they weren’t supposed to see.  
“He’s drunk. Let him have his fun,” Seungcheol told them diverting their attention.

She looked over met Seokmin’s eye and they both just started laughing.  
“Holy shit,” he said. Hoshi looked like he didn’t believe it either.  
“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Hoshi laughed, “from the amount of drinks, to the way they were dancing.”  
“I hope Jun’s alright…” She said softly, only loud enough for the SoonSeok duo to hear.  
“I’ll go find him.” Hoshi nodded.

She decided to catch a cab home early, telling Seungcheol she’d be heading out.  
“Wait Noona!” It was Vernon who was stumbling after her. She looked back and helped him to his feet.  
“What is it Vernonie?” She asked. He blushed pink looking at the floor shyly.

“I saw…” he said just loud enough for her to hear.  
“Saw? Minghao and Youngshin?” She asked confused.  
“No… I saw you and Seokmin-hyung…” he giggled obviously drunk. She groaned.  
“Nothing happened Vernonie.” She told him panicked.  
“Noona… I’m… I’m no idiot!” The idol rapper gigged again.  
“You were imagining it, you’re drunk.” She said a little harsher than intended. He pouted his lip quivering. “DON’T CRY!” She sighed, hugging him so that he’d stop crying. “Look, there’s nothing between Seokmin and I. Just friends,” She clarified wiping away his tear with her sleeve.  
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Seungkwan shouted at her, drunk as well. She groaned.  
“I’m dealing with your emotional drunk best friend, want to take him?” She pushed Vernon off of her onto Seungkwan.  
“Oh…” he said allowing Vernon to cry into his shirt.  
“I hope we all don’t remember this tomorrow. Have a good night Seungkwan.” She waved and left the bar after the weirdly eventful night.


	15. Rejecting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one time Seokmin mentions weird feelings doesn’t go over so well.

Waking up with a headache the next day, she grabbed some aspirin and swallowed it down. Luckily her hangover wasn’t bad.

She drove down to the office dressed in a casual T-shirt and some distressed jeans. Throwing on the first things she found in her closet, and applying enough makeup to make her look presentable.

She switched on the lights to her office and flipped on her computer

“To: Youjin

The boys are having their day off. You can take it too, as long as all your assignments are complete.

CEO Han Seongsu”

“Why didn’t I check my email before I left home.” She groaned. “I’m here, I might as well work,”

She finished her most recent assignments, flicking off her computer and stretching out her sore muscles.

“Morning Noona!” A sprinting idol entered her office without knocking. She internally groaned.  
“It’s actually afternoon, Seokminnie,” she informed the idol grabbing her bag.  
“Oh I didn’t notice,” his bright sunshine smile wasn’t any less today. Even if he had a hangover, he didn’t show it. Looking as perfect as ever.

She’d made a plan to distance herself from Seokmin more after the incidents of the previous night. Thinking distance would help kill her feelings, but it was day 1 and her plan wasn’t working.

“Isn’t it your day off?” She asked confused, gesturing for him to follow her out of the office.  
“Yeah, I thought you might be around here and I need to ask a favor,” he eye smiled, and her heart felt like it would melt out of her chest. Giving in to the Cheshire smile making its way across her face.  
“What is it Seokie?” They walked into the elevator.  
“You’re not coming on the Japan-mini tour are you?” He asked.  
“No. It was only for a week and a half, and the CEO didn’t think it was necessary to send me.” She explained checking her calendar.  
“Perfect!” He exclaimed happily.  
“Perfect? You didn’t want me to come?” She joked, overexxagerating a pout.  
“No! But I did need someone to dog sit for me…” he smiled hopefully. “Can you dog sit for me?”  
“You HAVE A DOG?” She shrieked.  
“Her name is Coco, and she’s technically my family’s dog. But she’s been staying at the dorm for the past month, so I don’t want to send her back to my parents house just yet.” He explained.  
“And you trust me to not kill your dog for a total of one and a half weeks?”  
“Yes!” He nodded enthusiastically, “you did say you wanted a dog right?”  
“Fine.” She gave in. “I’m still upset you didn’t introduce me sooner,”

So that’s how two hours later she found herself inviting Seokmin and his dog into her apartment.

It was tiny, and not in the best neighborhood, but the inside was nicer than the outside. She had a talent for interior decorating, as well as sewing curtains.  
“Wow… this looks like a place in Gangnam…” Seokmin exclaimed when she opened the door to let them in.  
“OH MY GOSH, is this Coco?” She squealed bending down and letting the curly haired chocolate brown dog sniff her hand. In a peace offering.  
“She’s super friendly,” Seokmin smiled proudly, “you can pick her up if you’d like.”  
“Yes!” She cheered happily, scooping the little dog up in her arms. “She’s absolutely adorable…”  
“So the tour’s in another week after the music video is released, but if you want to spend some time with her today that’s okay,” he suggested petting his dog fondly. She let Coco lick her cheek.  
“Brilliant!” She laughed ruffling up the dog’s hair.  
“We could take her for a walk?” He offered up the pink leash he’d been holding.  
“I’ll drive us down to the Han river. We probably won’t want to walk around here,” she sighed looking out her window to the grungy street below.  
“Okay.” He nodded. She grabbed her coat and the three left the apartment.

It was just before afternoon turned to evening, the cold November air turning chilly.  
“She won’t be cold will she?” Youjin asked concerned about the dog.  
“No, she’s okay. Think of it like she’s wearing a fur coat all the time,” Seokmin explained tugging on the leash and urging Coco to stop sniffing a pile of bird poop.  
“I’m sorry if this wasn’t your ideal day off. You probably want to go relax with the others,” she frowned, shoving her hands in her coat pockets.  
“Trust me, when you’re with them 24 hours a day you need some time away from the dorm to recharge.” He laughed, looking out across the river. He was wearing a mask and hat as to not get recognized by anyone so she couldn’t see if he was smiling or not. She hoped he was.  
“Is that difficult? Constantly living with the same people?” She asked.  
“It gets difficult if you don’t get along, but we all feel like a huge family by now. I mostly enjoy it,” He nodded.

They walked down the riverside in comfortable silence, taking in the beautiful view of the Seoul city lights reflecting off the water. The sun starting to set as the sky got darker.  
“I can get dinner,” she offered pointing to a small shop at the other side of the road.  
“Okay,”  
She bought instant ramyeon and some sausages in a tin. Also buying some dog treats for Coco not wanting to leave the adorable dog out.

“Here,” She handed him a napkin with the meal.  
“Thanks,” He nodded, slipping the mask down so he could eat.  
“You’re really quiet tonight, is everything okay?” She asked knowing that the idol was usually full of energy and excitement. Yelling even when he didn’t need too. Telling stories and making people laugh until their sides hurt with stitches.  
“Just really tired,” he said simply, but she knew there was something more to it than just being tired.  
“Are you sure that’s all?”  
“Yes.” he sharply replied.  
“I’m just worried for you Seokie,” She rubbed his arm comfortingly. He was obviously dealing with something she couldn’t get out of him. “Please get some more rest…” He smiled at her words.  
“I will.”

She drove him and Coco back to the Seventeen dorms, dropping them off outside.

“Goodnight,” She told him.  
“Yeah, goodnight,” He nodded.  
She felt that somehow along the line, she was the one that messed something up. Him acting so short with her had to be because he was upset about something. Maybe it even had nothing to do with her, but she believed it did. Just from the way he was avoiding her eyes, and flinching at the usual skinship they had. It hurt, and she didn’t know how to fix it.

***

The song was called “Boom Boom” they had filmed the music video already, it was to be released December 4th. In a few days. She knew they were also planning to release a second track, “Highlight” the month later in January.

They were currently at the last of their comeback photoshoots, her and Youngshin supervising the boys outfits. Ever since that night at the bar, Youngshin and Minghao seemed closer. She assumed they might be dating, but her suspicions were only confirmed when she caught them.

“Seriously Youngshin-ah. I sent you over here to check on his outfit, not mess it up!” She screeched catching them making out in one of the secluded hallways of the set studio.  
“Sorry Noona,” Youngshin blushed bright red, Minghao looking even more flustered.  
“So are you two dating?” Asking them outright. Minghao looked down at the floor, over at Youngshin, then up at her.  
“Yes.” he said tentatively. Youngshin just smiled, wrapping an arm around the shorter foreign idol.  
“I better not catch you like this again. Youngshin, scram.” She ordered, her assistant obeying and running off to somewhere. Left alone with Minghao who was still flushed with embarrassment.

“Hao Hao, we need to talk.” She sighed. She’d been watching Jun all day, and he looked like he’d rip something to shreds soon. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his usually tanned skin took on a sickly yellow shade.  
“I know…” He whispered.  
“Just not here and now. Get ready for the shoot, we’ll talk soon.” She told him rolling her eyes, and helping him readjust the clips on his now slightly wrinkled shirt.

She waited behind the cameras, watching the boys get photographed countless times.  
“Hey watch where... “ she said when someone knocked her forwards, looking back and seeing Seokmin stumbling over his own feet. She couldn’t help but laugh, “you’re such a clutz.”  
“Sorry,” He bowed deeply, not even smiling.  
“It’s fine,” She shook her head, a concerned frown on her face as well. He walked off without another word, joining Jeonghan and Jisoo over by the directors.

“Noona I’m sorry,” Vernon mouthed at her across from the set. She was confused as why he was sorry, but her attention was redirected when the camera director called for her assistance.

***

The song topped the charts. It was a huge success for the group, and it gave her a raise from the CEO as well.

She got to meet with Minghao just before they left on their Japanese tour around Christmas and New Years.

“Hey...” She said awkwardly sitting across from him on the couch in her office.  
“Hey Noona,” He greeted, his expression unreadable as usual. They exchanged small talk, about winning first on music shows, and comeback concepts, until she asked him what was really on her mind.

“Minghao, why are you dating Youngshin?” She asked.  
“What?”  
“You heard me,” She pressed the topic, “why did you agree to date him? I KNOW you Minghao, you don’t have any feelings for him.”  
“You don’t know that!” Minghao scowled. She fought off the instinct to run.  
“I do too!”  
“How? How do you know I don’t like him?” He slammed his hands on the table angrily.  
“Because you’re in love with someone else, Hao. I know it. Seungcheol knows it. Goddamnit even Soonyoung can see it.” She said in a hushed tone. He paled at her words, looking more and more nauseous. “The only fucking one who doesn’t know it is Junhui!” She hissed. He looked at her shocked.  
“You… you can’t say that Noona.” she saw a tear leave his eye, “you can’t just go around telling lies about people…”  
“Hao, is it a lie?” He stayed silent. “Hao…” she warned.  
“If I say it aloud that just makes it true,” He whispered, tears dripping down his cheeks. She hugged the Chinese idol tightly, his tears dripping down onto her coat. Unrequited feelings hurt, she knew that all too well.

“Hao, this isn’t my place, but Junhui loves you too.” She comforted.  
“He doesn’t love me the way I love him,” Minghao cried softly.  
“You can’t say that, Hao! You don’t know. The only way to find out is to ask him!” She suggested. Minghao snorted at her words.  
“I can’t tell him. If I did, our friendship would be completely ruined.” He shook his head.  
“Like it isn’t ruined now?” She shot back.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Don’t you realize that Jun has been avoiding you ever since you and Youngshin started hanging out more? He looks like he hasn’t slept or eaten anything in weeks!” She almost shouted the last part, “you need to talk to him about it. But first you need to breakup with Youngshin.”  
“How?” Minghao dried the tears in his eyes, looking up at her.  
“Tell him the truth!”

***

“So here’s the dog food, and the leash,” Seokmin handed her all the things necessary for taking care of Coco. She fought back the feelings that were threatening to resurface every minute she spent with the sunshiney idol.  
“So where is she?” Youjin cooed looking for the little brown furball as a distraction. As if on cue the dog popped out from behind Seokmin running into her apartment with vigor. “Coco!” She cheered.  
“And send me updates every day!” He instructed.  
“How? I don’t have your phone number,”  
“Here,” he plugged it into her phone, smiling and handing the device back to her. She smiled down at the contact name he set for himself, ‘Seokie’.   
“I’ll take good care of her,” She smiled petting the dog’s head fondly.  
“I know you will,” He nodded confident in her abilities to dog sit. They stood there awkwardly in the doorway of her apartment. 

“Do you have time to talk?” He asked her. Her heart sped up at the suggestion, clumsily gesturing him to come sit on the couch. She couldn’t make eye contact with him, not like she’d done so beforehand either. Only looking down at the floor, then up at his lips, then back down at the floor.  
“Want some tea?” she suggested, too nervous to join him right away.  
“No, I have to go in ten and join the others.” He shook his head. With shaky steps she approached him and sat unceremoniously down on the couch. 

It gave her hope, but she tried to squash that hope. Hope only ended in pain.  
“Look,” He coughed nervously, “Vernon came to talk with me after the night out drinking. He was just being crazy and saying that maybe…” His sentence trailed off.  
“Maybe what?” She demanded frowning.  
“Well with how close we are, he thought you might have feelings… for… uh. I just wanted to make sure there were no feelings...” He said bluntly. 

She felt like throwing something against the wall, or tearing something apart. Her heart just hurt, she wanted to cry, but she held it together.

She could’ve been honest. She could’ve told him the truth. That she loved him in every aspect of the word. She could’ve been outright rejected, but she didn’t.

“What? No way.” She tried to smile like she usually did.   
“I’m sorry that was awkward,” he laughed half-heartedly. “I should go…”  
“You should go.” she agreed too quickly, opening up the door quickly. “I’ll take good care of Coco.” without another word she slammed the door on his face. Locking it, and collapsing on the couch, tears starting to fall. Thinking she had a chance was foolish. Just with all the things he let her do to him, she hoped he didn’t feel completely platonic towards her.

She loved him. She loved everything about him. And he didn’t. It was obvious. Him rejecting her just made her feelings that much more real. 

“Coco-yah,” She said sweetly petting the dogs ears the only thing comforting her at the moment. “Remind me to kill Vernon later, please?” the small brown dog jumped up and down, yipping happily. One-sided love hurt, especially when there was no longer any hope.


	16. Thinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin deals with her feelings by burying herself in work. SVT also prepares for their Highlight comeback.

She spent the week bringing the small dog everywhere with her. She fed Coco twice a day, walked her twice a day usually around the building or in downtown. Even sewing little dog outfits for her when she had time.

“Maybe I could start a line of dog clothes,” She joked to Youngshin who laughed after seeing her dog tutus. 

Returning to reality the day after rejection hurt, but at least Youngshin was sympathetic about it. They both drank and ate ice cream together lamenting over their sucky love lives. Minghao had broken up with him before catching his flight, and her assistant could admit he saw it coming.

“He only had eyes for Junhui, that much was clear.”

It was only a day until the group returned from Japan, she had been sending Seokmin pictures of Coco daily just so he’d know she was being well taken care of.

“I’m going to head home,” She told Youngshin, grabbing Coco’s leash and her bag.  
“I’ll lock up for you,” he called after her.

She fell asleep the minute she sat down on the couch, exhausted from spending the week both working on their comeback and taking care of Coco. Only waking up to the sound of someone knocking at her door.

It was still dark out, the time on her phone reading 4AM.

“Noona! I’ve come to explain…”

“Vernon-Ah?” She asked rubbing her eye and opening the door to the hip hop unit maknae.  
“I’m sorry! It was my fault! It was all my fault,” he half shouted his usual cheerful carefree look replaced with one of deep concern and sadness.  
“Come inside.” She ordered shaking her head, Coco prancing around Vernon’s feet. They sat on the couch.

“I needed to talk to you before Seokmin came over and picked up Coco,” he was gasping for a full breath.  
“What is it?” She snapped already a little upset with the idol.  
“It was my fault.” He hung his head.  
“Do you want me to forgive you?” She asked sharply, “I thought you wouldn’t tell him.”  
“Tell him what? I only warned him about dating as an idol.” He said confused. “I was drunk, but I still noticed the cameras in the bar. If you two dating got out then it would be a big scandal.”  
“We’re not dating…”  
“Well I didn’t know that before I warned Seokmin. Next thing I know, he’s not speaking to me.” Vernon said in a high pitched voice, which shocked her to hear.  
“Wait you just warned him because you assumed we were in a relationship? That’s it?” She shrieked, now completely and fully awake. “You never told him I might have had feelings for him? At all?”  
“What? No,” Vernon denied making a face.  
“Weird…” She was seriously confused. So Seokmin had lied about what Vernon said? But there was no reason to…

“It’s just I’m sorry if I made things uncomfortable between you two.” He bowed deeply.  
“Aish, it’s fine,” she sighed, the younger didn’t know any better. Even if the situation was more confusing now than ever. “Don’t worry about it Vernonie.”  
“You’re the best Noona…” He said leaning back on her couch.  
“Here I’ll get you some tea, you must be exhausted from the flight.” She smiled and stood up to make him some tea. But when she got back to the couch to give it to him, he was fast asleep. Curled up on the cushions. She threw a blanket over him and sipped the steaming tea.

After she got changed into a printed collared shirt, and high waisted track pants knowing she wouldn’t fall back asleep, she found Vernon still sleeping on the sofa.

The sun was rising in her window, she was cooking breakfast when she heard another person knocking at her door.

She opened it bringing a finger to her lips to shush the singer standing there. Coco didn’t even notice her owner’s arrival, comfortably snuggled up on the couch next to Vernon.

She dragged Seokmin into the hallway closing the door behind her.

“Hey.” She said careful not to wake up any of her sleeping neighbors.  
“Hi.” He smiled back, “you took really good care of Coco. Thank you,”  
“Oh, you’re welcome,” she smiled up at the taller, “I just needed to talk with you for a moment…”  
“Okay,” He suddenly looked nervous.

“Don’t be so serious,” she laughed, “it’s just about Vernon-ah.”  
“Oh?” He looked more nervous suddenly.  
“Please stop ignoring him. He showed up at 4AM just to apologize for something that he didn’t even mean.” She sighed, reaching out to hold the main vocalist’s arm. He just let her, like none of their past conflict ever happened.

“Okay…” he nodded, “how about we forget that anything ever happened?” He suggested hopefully.  
“Okay,” she smiled offering her hand for a handshake treaty, “friends?”  
“Best friends,” He shook it happily. She held onto his hand longer than needed, loving the way their hands intertwined so perfectly.

Even if he didn’t think of her as anything more than a friend, she would just have to be happy being in his life. Only until she found someone who made her just as happy as he did.

***

“Vernonie wake up!” Seokmin cooed, roughly shaking the rapper awake.  
“Hmmmm,” Vernon blinked his eyes open, “where am I…”  
“My apartment, remember?” She asked laughing.  
“Right!”  
“COCO!” Seokmin squealed as his chocolate colored dog bounded up and jumped at him barking.  
“Here’s all her stuff,” she grabbed a bag with all of Coco’s belongings. Including the special dog clothes she made.

“I’ll drive you back to the dorm.” Seokmin offered casually, Vernon just looked at the main vocalist in surprise.  
“Hyung…” Vernon began.  
“We’ll talk on the way back,” The older nodded, and Jin couldn’t help but smile down at the two knowing that things would be alright between them. 

***

Things went back to normal after that. Except for the fact that every time she saw Seokmin, her heart hurt just a little bit. She tended to avoid him, not because she didn’t want to talk with him, just because she didn’t want to deal with the pain that came with it. Figuring herself to be officially emotionally constipated, as she couldn’t move on no matter how many bars she went to, and men she met.

Their second track off the album, “Highlight” was releasing just after New Years, and she needed to prepare a ton more stage costumes so her life outside work was taking second priority.

They were giving a special performance of Aju Nice that weekend too, but she opted for no suspenders on their brand new stage outfits as they’d look weird with the new concepts.

She drove down to the MBC music show stage, pulling into the staff parking lot and entering through the back. The chaos ensued when Hoshi’s trousers went missing, only to find them later in Jeonghan’s garment bag luckily.

“I’ll chew Youngshin out for this,” she told them laughing once everything was solved.

“So, ready for the show?” She asked Minghao, sitting next to him as he was getting his flaming red hair styled and makeup done.  
“Yeah. I’ve got a Solo part in the opening medley.” He said nonchalantly, but she could hear the excitement behind his tone.  
“I promise I won’t miss it,” she grinned.  
“It doesn’t matter,” he shrugged, but she knew she couldn’t miss it.  
“HAO has his special special solo!” Jun cheered latching onto Minghao’s back and being shoved away by the hair and makeup ladies.  
“Don’t spoil it for her,” Minghao smiled mischievously pulling on Jun’s hair to make him be quiet.  
“Hey!” The taller whined, rubbing his head, “that hurt!”

She was glad to see the best friends back to normal. It was relief. She was watching the two when Seokmin snuck up behind her.

“Happy early New Years.” Seokmin threw some ripped up paper over her like confetti. She was surprised at the gag but laughed uncontrollably, finding him watching her expression.   
“Now you’re going to have to pick all this up you know,” she pointed out, recovering from her giggles.  
“It was worth it.” He laughed bending down and picking up the small scraps. She brushed little confetti bits out of her hair. “We’re going on stage soon.”  
“I’ll watch the performance from backstage, I wouldn’t miss a show,” she smiled slowly standing up from her chair to edge away from the scene. She knew if she stuck around, her heart would just reprimand her for it later. It always happened like this whenever he bounded up to her side or started a conversation. She always found a way to slip away.  
“Noona.” He grabbed her wrist before she could step into the oncoming rush of people this time ignoring all the paper particles he dropped to the floor.  
“What is it?” She looked to see his eyes filled with confusion, not mirth.

“Good luck hug?”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah sure.” She shook her head, putting on her best fake smile. Holding him close she tried not to overreact. It was just a platonic hug from a Noona. For good luck of course. She shouldn’t think of it as anything else.  
“Dokyeom!” Seungcheol called. He broke apart looking at her with a strange mix of emotions present on his face.  
“Good luck.” She whispered waving as he as tugged away towards the stage.

When the thirteen boys took the stage, she took her spot behind the curtains. Getting a clear side view of their performance. Their special stage was made up of a medley of popular songs, Aju Nice, and Boom Boom.

She waited for Minghao’s solo, cheering at their cover of Got7’s ‘Hard Carry’ and Winner’s ‘Really Really’.

“Lipstick, chateau, that red wine color.” He sang to Exo’s ‘Lotto’ she cheered the loudest.  
“GO HAO HAO!” She shouted. His solo didn’t last for long, but it was iconic so that didn’t matter.

They waved before coming off stage, she threw her arm around Minghao’s shoulder congratulating him.  
“You were so cool.” She raved, “total bias wrecker,”  
“Thanks Jin.” Minghao smiled proudly.

“You don’t even have a bias though, Noona.” Hoshi pointed out.  
“Or do I? And I just don’t want to tell you?” She laughed when Soonyoung made a sour face. “I’m sure your comeback will be incredible.”  
“Have you even heard the song yet?” Woozi snorted.  
“Well… no, but usually everyone loves your music!” She grinned optimistically.  
“Everyone but YOU! You’re always playing Big Bang and San E,” Seungkwan said like it was a betrayal.  
“Awww Kwanie you guys are in my playlist too,” she pouted ruffling the younger’s hair.  
“You should come to our dance practice Noona.” Minghao suggested still holding her up, as she was leaning over his thin frame.  
“Yeah okay,” she agreed, “I’ll be there.”


	17. Reflecting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two very different times Jin hugs Lee Seokmin (and enjoys it).

That’s how she found herself in their practice room a couple days later with the dance team.

“What’s the song called?” She asked Minghao, leaned up against the mirrors.  
“Highlight. Shouldn’t you know this by now?” He said snarkily. She rolled her eyes.  
“Just play the song and I’ll see if it’s good enough to add to my legendary playlist.”

“We’re recording both a performance team version, and one with everyone featured.” Hoshi informed her flipping on the computer.  
“So is this?”  
“Yeah this is the one with just us four.”

“When the scattered pieces are gathered, only then can I breathe.” Jun took center first.  
“When two lights meet, they light each other’s tomorrow.” Hoshi mouthed the lyrics.

“Over time we get closer, in the end we’ll become one. Highlight!” Their dancing was incredible, she watched in amazement. Each move was perfectly synchronized, and performed with sharpness. The performance team were really the best dancers out there.

She clapped when the song ended and the unit of four collapsed to the floor gasping for air.  
“So… what’d you think?” Hoshi laughed raspy between breaths.  
“I think… it was my favorite song yet.” She told them earnestly. Dino let out a cheer, and Minghao actually smiled.  
“I think so too,” Jun beamed.

***

They were approaching New Years and most of the members were heading home for the day to celebrate with their families. Except Minghao, Jun and Jisoo whose homes were too far to travel back to.

They’d invited her over to the Seventeen dorms to celebrate, after they found out she’d be spending the day alone per Seuncheol’s suggestion. She brought the late Christmas gifts for the members as well, having no time sooner to get it to them.

Knocking on the door she felt surprisingly nervous for some reason. Even though she’d been to the house multiple times, she’d never been inside.

“Jin-Noona,” Jisoo bowed when he opened the door for her, “Happy New Years,”  
“Yes Happy New Years,” She bowed back. Jun and Minghao were on a tarnished leather couch.

The kitchen was messy, the dining room table was covered with papers of all sorts, and yet it still felt cozy.

“So what’s the plan?” She asked, taking out the wrapped presents from her bag and setting some beneath the fake pine tree that hadn’t been taken down since Christmas.

“Soju, food, and tv.” Minghao called, she snorted handing the three boys their gifts.  
“Sounds good. Now open them!” She said happily.  
“Gifts?” Jun sat up straighter in his seat when he was handed a box.  
“Yes! Open them,” she encouraged. Minghao was the first to get his box open.  
“NO WAY!” He exclaimed like a happy child. Taking out the silver metal nunchucks she had bought for him.  
“Ugh you just had to make him MORE scary?” Jisoo complained jokingly. He opened his box and found brand new guitar picks and strings. She knew his hobby was playing guitar so she had tried to get him what would be useful.

“This is awesome!” Jun laughed taking the baseball cap out of the box.  
“I customized it for you, it’s embroidered and the tab is extra long.” She described pointing to the patches she hand sewed on the gift. “The rest of the member’s gifts I put under the tree with labels,”  
“We got you something too,” Joshua stood up and retrieved a package from the kitchen.

“Awww you didn’t have to,” She smiled tearing the paper on the gift. “It’s really beautiful,” She remarked awed by the small silver pinky ring engraved with the Seventeen logo.  
“Glad you like it, we all have one. Even our manager. We thought it was due time you got one too.” The younger Chinese idol said taking a long drink from his soju. Joshua offered her a drink as well.

“Cheers to a good new year?” She raised her glass, the silver band on her right pinky glinting in the dim lighting.  
“Happy New Years!” Jun announced. The four clinked glasses and drank. Joshua switched on a Korean New Years music show as they drank and talked until their words were slurred and their throats were sore.

“This… is the best way to spend New Years Eve…” Youjin giggled uncontrollably.  
“I’m sooo hungry…” Jisoo slurred, standing up wobbling around.  
“Hurry… hurry up… the countdown starts soon…” Jun waved his arm lazily. She followed Joshua into the kitchen, helping him when he stumbled, having a higher alcohol tolerance than he did and helping him walk straight. They made popcorn to the best of their ability, almost burning the bag in the microwave.

“5…4… 3…” She distantly heard the TV.  
“We better catch the countdown…” She pulled Joshua with her back to the television. They got there just before 1.

“Holy shit…” they both froze. Minghao and Jun were shamelessly making out on the couch, the former practically sitting on the older’s lap.

“Happy New Year everybody…” Jisoo remarked snarkily.  
“Joshuji let Noona kiss you.” She joked, the American idol violently shook his head. Breaking out in giggles.  
“Only Jeonghanie can call me that.” The American idol pouted, she hit him on the arm.  
“You’re so whipped…”

“Get a room you two!” Joshua called cackling when Minghao flipped him off. The two drunk Chinese idols broke apart blushing heavily, panting.

“I’m going to bed.” Jun stood up. They watched the taller idol disappear behind a closed door without another word.  
“What are you doing still sitting here? Go after him!” She scolded shoving Minghao up from his seat.

“What if Hyung doesn’t want to see me…” Minghao’s voice was trembling.  
“Then talk with him about it,” Groaning, she shoved the younger closer to the bedroom door.  
“Okay.” He gathered up the courage stepping forward and knocking on the door before entering.

“I feel like I’m in some romance drama…” Joshua giggled taking another sip of Soju.  
“I bet there’s something good on, want to switch channels?” She suggested, he agreed changing the TV to a ‘Descendants of the Sun’ marathon.

It was approaching 3AM, they were both sobbing by the end of the marathon. Well past being just drunk. She mused that Minghao still hadn’t come out from Junhui’s bedroom.

“It’s over…” She said between sobs. Jisoo nodded, crying as well.  
“We should get to bed,” He suggested.  
“I’ll take a taxi home,”  
“No, I’ll sleep in Jeonghan-hyung’s room. You can take my bed,” Joshua, even when drunk, was extremely polite and gentlemanly.  
“No, I wouldn’t want to kick you out of your own room…”   
“Nope. I’ll show you the way!” He laughed, the alcohol just beginning to wear off. She trudged down another hallway to a plain door. “There are three beds, so you can sleep here,” He opened the door to reveal a small room with three beds.

“Thank you,” She bowed, giggling all the while.  
“Goodnight Noona, you owe me breakfast tomorrow!”  
“Alright, alright, get some sleep.” She chuckled, throwing herself onto the bed next to Joshua’s belongings. Tucking herself in and falling asleep.

***

“JOSHUJI!”  
“AGH!” She screeched feeling someone tackle her on top of the covers. Waking up slowly she blinked once then twice feeling the massive headache come on. All her limbs felt like lead. She knew drinking that much was a bad idea. “Jeonghan?” She asked sitting up.  
“You’re not Joshua…” The angelic idol frowned standing up suddenly.  
“He’s in YOUR room Jeonghan.” She chuckled when the younger turned sharply on his heel and ran out.  
“JOSHUJI!” He was shouting running down the hall. Checking her phone it was 6AM, so the boys must be getting back soon.

She yawned, checking her hair and makeup in her phone camera.

“Oh, hey Noona…” She looked up and saw Seokmin luggage bag in hand probably just got home.  
“Happy 2017 Seokie,” She smiled reflexively. He smiled back, dumping the bag on the bed to her right. He must be one of Joshua’s roommates.

“Yeah, Happy New Year,” He nodded zipping the bag open and beginning to unpack, “I’m assuming Joshua’s in Jeonghan’s room?”  
“You know each other so well,” She grinned stretching her arms out before slipping her feet to the floor.  
“Oh did you exchange Christmas gifts?” He eyed the silver ring she dawned proudly.  
“Yeah, the gift I got you is under the tree,”  
“Can I see?” he sat down next to her, she held out her wrist. When he reached out and grabbed her hand in his she felt her heart beat faster uncontrollably. She still wasn’t over him, even after a month since she got rejected, that much was obvious. “It’s beautiful…” She retracted her hand sharply.  
“Yeah. I promised Jisoo that I’d cook breakfast for him. I should go get started…” She stood up from the bed, clutching her head as sharp pain shot through her temples.  
“Are you okay?” Concerned he stood up too grabbing her arm gently.  
“Yeah…” She just pulled away from his grasp, “drank way too much,”  
“I was just concerned…”  
“I know.” She cut him off harshly, the hurt flashed across his face. Seeing him frown hurt worse than feeling the dull ache of rejection. “I’m sorry.” she said softer, “I’ve just got a bad headache, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”  
“Noona.” He sighed pulling her back so she sat down again, unconsciously leaning up against his taller frame as they sat side by side on the edge of the bed.  
“What?” She sighed when he brushed the hair back from her face.  
“Did I hurt you? I just… I really need to know how to make this better because it’s obvious you’ve been avoiding me ever since… well… it’s just obvious you’ve been avoiding me.” He cringed at his own words. She didn’t deny it. It had been pretty obvious she’d been avoiding him, and now she was stuck in a situation because of her own constipated emotions.  
“You didn’t hurt me, Seokie. I just… why did you lie to me about what Hansol said? Why did you even bring up the subject?” She knew changing the topic wasn’t the right way out, but she had to. She couldn’t answer him plainly and damage their attempts at a salvaged friendship.  
“I just… Vernon assumed we were dating, and I was scared and confused about being an idol and dating and romance and I didn’t mean to be so nervous but…”  
“So it would be that bad to be in a relationship with me?” She joked, cutting off his rambling.  
“No! It wouldn’t be bad at all, I just hoped the public didn’t assume and idols can’t be in relationships and…”  
“Seokie, it’s fine. I get it. I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you. I don’t really have a good reason, but I’ll stop.” She smiled earnestly, knowing that if she kept avoiding him she’d only cause him more hurt and confusion. It was better to just take the pain herself, instead of having to see him like this. She’d choose her own hurting over his any day, because maybe the pain would go away.  
“Thank you.” He grinned for the first time, gently running a hand over her right hand and stroking the ring on her finger, “I missed you Noona, if anything’s wrong ever please just talk to me. I don’t want you ever avoiding me again.”  
“Okay…” she sighed knowing there were some things she would never be able to tell him. But it didn’t matter. As long as he was happy. 

“I can grab you some aspirin now, Noona,”   
“Huh? Oh that would be great, thanks. I’m going to go start on breakfast.” She nodded the small trancelike bubble that they were in all but broken. “I missed you too Seokmin.”

***

Jeonghan, Seungcheol, Chan, Wonwoo and Seokmin were the only ones to return so far, so she needed to make 9 plates of food total.

“Yeah and then she started imitating Manager-ssi, you should’ve seen it Hyung,” Jisoo was enthusiastically explaining the past night’s events to an amused Seungcheol.  
“She did?”  
“I did?” She groaned, “I hardly remember doing that.”  
“You’re So funny when you’re drunk,” the American born idol commented laughing at her sour expression.  
“Joshua cries when he’s drunk!” She blurted out.

“We know.” Seungcheol nodded, smirking at the younger. “He’s a big crybaby.”  
“Hey cut it out!” The younger whined burying his face in Seungcheol’s shirt.

“Oh, the pancakes are done!” She cheered seeing the flat cakes take form on the griddle. Pushing them off onto a separate plate she began another batch.

“FOUND IT! Here!” Seokmin shouted so everyone in the kitchen would hear. “Catch,” he threw the bottle of pills to her. She caught it easily and poured herself an aspirin.  
“Thanks,” she replied grabbing a water glass and filling it up, “need one Jisoo-Yah?”  
“Desperately,”

“Who wants to open gifts?” She offered after finishing up eating and pointing to the packages under the tree.  
“ME!” Chan cheered.  
“Yeah! Thanks so much Noona,” Seungcheol agreed grabbing the packages labeled for himself, Seokmin, Wonwoo, and Jeonghan.

Wonwoo opened his first, her favorite book, a murder mystery translated into Hangul.  
“I always see you reading, so I just hope you like this one. It’s my favorite book of all time,” she told him, he just stared blankly down at the cover then up at her hopeful face.  
“Thank you,” He bowed his head. She smiled satisfied with the positive reaction.

“What’s this?” Dino asked tearing the paper.  
“It’s Michael Jackson’s first album.” She told him. He grinned so wide it looked like his face was about to split.  
“THANK YOU NOONA!” He hugged her tightly around the waist. Being one of the members who was shorter than her.  
“I’m glad you like it,” she grinned ruffling the maknae’s hair.

“It’s a face mask for sleeping!” Jeonghan said laughing, holding up the small face mask that was detailed with little eyes.

“I got… a book on how to de-stress… thanks?” Seungcheol laughed.  
“Open it.” She encouraged.  
“HAHA,” he laughed taking out the gift card with a note attached, ‘This is for taking care of the yourself because you’re always taking care of the others - JIN’ it read. “Thanks Noona.”

“My turn,” Seokmin said excitedly. His package was a little larger than the others. She watched sitting beside him on the ground when he opened it and took out the gift, a small pink hanbok for Coco to wear.   
“IT’S SO CUTE!” Seungcheol cooed.

“Thank you Noona, this is adorable really,” Seokmin grinned holding it out in front of her, and grabbing her hand affectionately.  
“Glad you like it,” she smiled, “If you ever need a dog sitter again, you know who to call.”  
“You spoiled her too much, she was so sad to return back home with my parents.” He chuckled, laughing with his eyes which made her heart start acting up again. It was hard to get over someone this perfect and she didn’t even know why she was trying.

Only half an hour later she announced, “I should get going.”  
“No…” they whined.  
“Sorry guys, you might not have work, but I still do. Tell Jun and Minghao I said bye.” She waved grabbing her handbag. They each said farewell. 

“Bye Noona!” Seokmin smiled still holding the small pink doggy hanbok, “this is perfect!”  
“Haha I hope Coco likes it just as much as you do,” she chuckled, opening the front door to their dorm. “Goodbye everyone!”

***

It was January 4th, the night of their showcase for Highlight. She had made sure each member received their garment bag, with matching suits and shoes.

“They’re put on delay?” the manager was talking with some stage hands.  
“Yes I’m sorry sir, but there’s been a delay in the schedule. They’re performing in twenty minutes,” the stage hand informed the manager nervously.  
“It’s fine. At least they’re all ready.” He shook his head with a sigh.

“Manager-ssi, do you think I have time to go out and watch the show? All the boys are ready,” she crossed her fingers hopefully. She’d always wanted to see one of their shows like the audience would, always being stuck backstage and watching it at a weird angle.  
“Yeah go ahead. Just be back after,” the manager waved her off.  
“Hell yes!” She cheered.

In her white T-shirt and denim shorts, she made her way from the backstage to the front of the venue using the backstage tunnels.

Hundreds of fangirls were screaming, wearing Seventeen merch and holding signs for their bias members. They were about to be let into the stage. She joined the crowd, inconspicuous in the mob of girls her age and younger.

When the crowd started moving forward, she was pushed closer to the stage until she was near the front row.

“Whoa…” she looked up at the giant set. Seeing it from a different angle was weird, she was usually behind the curtains.  
“Hey Unnie, I really like your Seventeen ring!” A chipper schoolgirl with bright eyes admired the silver band on her pinky.  
“Oh, thanks,” Jin laughed.  
“Are you a fan?” The younger girl looked up hopefully. She noticed the girl had on a T-shirt with seventeen’s logo and Jeonghan’s name.  
“I guess you could say that,” she nodded.  
“Who’s your bias?” The girl squeaked.  
“Hmmm… I don’t have one really,” Jin shook her head. She didn’t really know how to respond to the fast talking fangirl, who loved to group so obviously.

“I’m Youjin. Shin Youjin.” She extended her hand, “and you?”  
“Kim Sora.” The wide eyed girl shook it. “You totally HAVE to have a bias. Spill it!”  
“Fine,” she rolled her eyes dramatically causing a laugh to erupt from the younger, “If you must know, this is a secret I haven’t told anyone before. Promise you won’t tell?”  
“I promise!” Sora nodded vigorously.  
“My bias is The8-ssi.” She grinned mischievously, “isn’t he just the cutest?”  
“Ah you’re totally right Unnie. He bias wrecks me all the time!”

“QUIET ON SET!” A loud director with a megaphone called out to the crowd of music show guests. Youjin jumped in place shocked from the loud sound. Sora smiled patting the older’s shoulder comfortingly. And then Seventeen took the stage, and Jin knew she went deaf.

The cheers were loud. Loud to the point of ringing eardrums loud. 

She grabbed Sora’s hand and started dancing to the music.  
“Dance!” She encouraged the younger who moved along to the rhythm with her.  
“WOOHOO! HIGHLIGHT!” They shouted dancing whatever they felt like.

The girls around them were crazily dancing and laughing. If every seventeen concert was like a whole audience dance party then she’d been missing out.

“LIKE A BIRD! IN THE AIR!” She shouted doing the best popping dance she could. Totally embarrassing herself but having the best time.

When the bridge hit, she panted catching her breath. Watching all the girls dance around her and have fun being free. 

“UNNIE!” Sora shrieked pointing at the stage. She looked up and saw Seokmin looking back at her, trying to hold in his laughter. She gave him a wave and a wink, breaking into the best interpretation of the dance she could do.

He made his way over to her side of the stage, reaching out his hand to the crowd. She laughed at the screaming fangirls all around her. He raised an eyebrow staring at her, she reached out and held his hand like all the fangirls around her while he sang. It was gentle, and familiar. The same hands she’d touched before, the same hand she touched now. Blushing she met his warm gaze, the gaze she committed to memory that still made her heart race.

“Wherever we are in the world, if we believe in each other. We can face each other. Highlight!”

Running back to the choreography positions, he looked once more over his shoulder, her hand dropped to her side limp.

“OH MY GOD!” Sora was screeching in her ear. “OH MY GOD, UNNIE! HE TOUCHED YOUR HAND!”   
She chuckled smiling up and watching the performance quietly.  
“He did didn’t he?” She smiled to herself, still feeling the warmth that lingered on her cheeks. How he picked her out of the whole crowd was a little bit of a miracle. None of the other members had feigned recognition. Especially in the sea of fangirls.

The song ended, the crowd applauded, and Sora screamed. She clapped a little.

“Unnie, you’re so cool. Can I touch the hand that DK-Oppa touched?”  
“Uh… sure?” Jin laughed holding out her hand for Sora to grab.  
“Thank youuu!” The younger squeaked.  
“I wish you the best of luck, Sora-nie.”

And with the short farewell, Jin said goodbye to the warm-hearted fangirl.

She made her way back to the waiting room, cracking open the door to gather her belongings.

“Hello,” she stuck her head in. The others just waved when they saw her. She grabbed her handbag and jacket off the chair, preparing to leave as her job for the day was complete. “I’ll be heading home now,” she announced. She caught Seokmin staring at her from across the room, slightly waving at him before shutting the door shut behind her.

She was walking down the hallway out of the music stage, when she heard the door opening and closing behind her.

“Noona,” Seokmin called, tripping over his own feet and stumbling sideways as he caught up with her. “That WAS you, right?”  
“Hm?” She asked smirking.  
“You… in the crowd…” he gestured.  
“Who else would look this good?” She rolled her eyes, still walking and not completely turning around to face him.  
“I guess you’re right.” He went quiet, she looked back to see him frozen in place.  
“You performed really well Dokyeom-ah.” She told him using his stage name, “I was thoroughly impressed by how observant you are.”  
“Observant?” He blushed looking down at the floor because of all the compliments. She loved when he got embarrassed because of compliments.  
“Picking a familiar face out of a crowd that big? You must have great eyes.”  
“Ah… it was easy really. I mean who else would look that good?”   
“You’re cheesy, Dokyeomie,” she laughed shaking her head.  
“Aish don’t call me that it’s weird!” He cringed.  
“What? Dokyeomie?”  
“Yeah.” He shook his head, “I’m so used to you calling me…”  
“Seokie?” She knew.  
“Yeah. I like that. You’re the only one who calls me that.”  
“Well maybe I like Dokyeomie better.” She shrugged smirking when he made a dramatic pained expression.  
“Hey Noona, you never gave me that good luck hug before the show.” He shrugged, narrowing his eyes.  
“Oh? And you performed just as well. Maybe my good luck hug doesn’t work anymore.”  
“Or maybe you should just make it up to me now?”  
“You’re too much, Seokie, you know that?” Gently pulling him into her arms, as she lightly gripped his back.  
“See? Seokie sounds better when you say it.” He pointed out.  
“I guess,” she said sarcastically, nuzzling her cheek to his chest. They didn’t let go for a while. If she closed her eyes for a half second she could imagine what they would be like if they were together. Except maybe instead of just hugging she’d be allowed to kiss him too. Sighing she pulled apart, caressing the side of his face in her long spindly fingers.

“You know I’ve got more work to do back at the office.” She told him, pointing towards the door out of the building.  
“Oh right, yeah see you soon Noona.” He coughed stepping back so they weren’t touching.

“Bye Seokie.”

She wished they were in like France where kissing your totally platonic friends goodbye was normal or something.


	18. Valentine’s Day-ing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a normal Valentine’s Day with a rough case of unrequited love.

January ended without much event. 

Except for the two times she’d caught Jun and Minghao kissing in the dark corners of the practice room, or once in her office even. 

When February began all the news was surrounding Chan, Vernon, and Seokmin’s birthdays.

“Shit I still don’t know what to get them,” she told Youngshin.  
“You better hurry up.” He chuckled busy typing on his computer.  
“So helpful,” she rolled her eyes. For Chan’s birthday she gave him a satin designer bomber jacket that she thought suited the group’s maknae. She felt bad about missing his birthday dinner, but she had a meeting to go to, promising to deliver the gift at Seokmin and Vernon’s party.

***

She walked into work the next morning, noticing the light on in her office. “Hello?” She called before throwing the unlocked door open. “Holy shit…”

On her desk there was three bouquets of red roses. Next to the bouquets were wrapped gifts, as well as a pile of cards. She grabbed the white envelope on top first, opening it up cautiously.

“Dear Youjin-ssi,

Happy Valentine’s Day! You’re the prettiest and most adorable girl at the company, would you be my Valentine?

Kim Heonwoo from accounting”

“Oh it’s Valentine’s Day…” she realized checking her calendar and seeing it was the fourteenth.

She could vaguely remember meeting the spectacled math nerd who introduced himself as Kim Heonwoo a while back, but she didn’t expect him to send her a valentine. The writing was messy and it seemed a bit shallow knowing that she’d never spoken with him for more than a few minutes.

She picked up the next envelope.

“Youjin-ssi, happy Valentine’s Day! I’m an honest man and I’d like to take you out to dinner. Are you free tonight?

Jung Gunho”

“Ugh…” she groaned. It was the businessman who was probably married judging by the gold ring on his finger. She ran into him in the elevator sometimes, and did her best to be polite.

“Whoa,” Youngshin walked into the office, “you sure have a lot of admirers,” he laughed.

“Can you help me reject some of these offers?” She groaned, “I really don’t want to approach them,”  
“Jesus Christ I don’t even want you to read this one,” Youngshin was embarrassed himself after reading one of the cards. Promptly throwing it into the trash. It only took five minutes until she held the last card in her hand.

It was a plain envelope nothing written on the back or the front. Inside was a plain sheet of paper, not a store bought card like the others. On the front of the card was a funny looking stick figure drawn with long black hair that was supposed to be her because it was labeled “Jin-Noona” with a small arrow.

“Dear Jin-Noona,

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you read this before you throw it out :)

You can ignore this if you want! I don’t know exactly when I realized it, but I’m in love with you. This might sound creepy, coming from someone you don’t know, but it’s true. 

Your determination and strength inspires me to keep working hard. You’re so witty, and beautiful I couldn’t help but fall for you when I first met you.

So, will you be my Valentine? You don’t have to love me back, I know you don’t. But just don’t be anyone else’s.”

By the end of the card her heart was giving an unfamiliar flutter. It wasn’t signed, it could be anyone. Their writing somehow felt so heartfelt and genuine it made her heart race. 

“What is it?” Youngshin asked. She smiled.  
“I think I’ve found my valentine,” she stood the card up at the side of her desk along with all the tiny trinkets she had.

“Do you want to take one of these bouquets home?” She asked at the end of the day, “I don’t want them to go to waste here.”  
“No, they’re yours.” Youngshin laughed grabbing his coat and purse, “I’m going to head home, but happy Valentine’s Day Noona,”  
“Thanks,” she waved. Humming the song playing softly through the speakers she saw a figure run into her office.

“NOONA! We need your help,” Seungkwan panted.

“What? Are you okay Seungkwan?” She asked concerned.  
“Yes. Just please, come to the practice room.” He begged, only then looking around the room and noticing the large bouquets. “Whoa…” his jaw dropped.  
“What is it?” She demanded getting up from her desk.  
“Just come on…” he dragged her down the hallway until they reached a dark practice room.  
“It doesn’t look like anyone’s here, Kwanie.” She remarked.  
“Come on!” He dragged her into the dark room. Suddenly the lights switched on.  
“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to Jin-Noona, Happy Birthday to you!” The thirteen boys plus one manager sang.

“You guys, it’s not my birthday.” She laughed.  
“We know, it’s just for Valentine’s Day. We all wanted to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day,” Joshua took out a red and pink frosted cake holding it out.  
“Wow!” She chuckled, “and this wasn’t another excuse so you all could eat cake?” They laughed taking out plates forks and a cutting knife.

She got her slice sitting on the floor next to Hoshi and Vernon.  
“How did you know I loved chocolate?” She laughed.

“Seokmin made sure we got chocolate cake,” Soonyoung smiled, “at first Seungcheol got strawberry but Seok-ah took it back to the bakery and got a chocolate one.”  
“How sweet,” she smiled taking another bite out of the cake that tasted just that much better.  
“Hyung is so extra.” Vernon agreed.

“I’m standing right here you know.” Seokmin scooted over to them, propping his plate on his knee, “like the cake?”  
“It’s perfect.” She nodded gleefully.  
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” her heart stopped when she met his eye. She couldn’t say it enough, he was perfect in every way.  
“Yeah,” She stuttered out. “To you too.”

By the end of the cake eating, some of the boys were cracking open bottles of Soju, but she knew she couldn’t drink because she was her only ride home.

“I’ll go lock up my office and be back.” She announced laughing when Mingyu asked if he could take her bottle.  
“I’ll help you.” Seokmin stood up too, having not touched his unopened bottle that night.  
“Thanks. I’ve got a lot to throw away.”  
“Huh?”

His confusion was cleared up when she pushed open the door to her office and three huge bouquets of roses were staring back.  
“Whoa… who got you these?” He demanded, helping her clean up the mess of papers and petals.  
“Ugh they’re just these old guys who are probably married already.” She frowned.  
“And they tried to ask you out?”  
“Took every opportunity.” She nodded gesturing to the little pile of red and pink envelopes in her waste paper basket.  
“And you didn’t agree to any of them, right?” He frowned looking at the roses.  
“Of course not.” She shook her head, “I’ve already got a Valentine.”  
“Really?” His eyes went wide at her words.  
“What? Surprised someone loves me?” She pouted.  
“Surprised you’d say yes to them.” He clarified, “who is it?”  
“I… I don’t know.” She looked down at the card that she propped up along with the other trinkets on her desk, walking over and gently snatching it up. “It’s adorable though, and they seem really honest. Maybe it’s Sewoon the intern… he’d be one of the few people who’d address me as Jin-Noona…”  
“He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d write this though,” Seokmin shook his head.  
“He is adorable though.” She sighed, “he could’ve been an idol if he went down that path.”

“Who’s cuter?”

“What?” She asked confused.  
“Who’s cuter me or him?”  
“You of course, but why are you asking me…” she tilted her head to the side trying to figure the main vocalist out.  
“I just had to check to see that my best friend liked me more than some stupid intern.” He smiled, and she couldn’t help but beam back, “now what are going to do with all these flowers?”

Each member of Seventeen wound up with their own personal bouquet of roses by the time she was done splitting them amongst the people. It was getting late and she knew they all needed sleep.

“Noona wait… I just thought you’d be overloaded with roses today.” And Seungcheol gave her a pale  
Blue Iris. She took it from his outstretched hands surprised, “I’ve been trying to keep it alive all day. Honestly,” he rubbed his shoulder sheepishly.  
“We ALL got you a flower Noona.” Minghao spoke up.  
“What?” She asked when she noticed the members had all produced a flower of a different species for her to take.

Minghao gave her a pure white chrysanthemum, and Jun gave her a pale pink Peony. Jeonghan, Jisoo, Woozi and Wonwoo gave her flowers to which she had no clue what type they were, but they were beautiful anyways. Mingyu gave her a sunflower, and Hansol and Seungkwan gave her daisies. Chan gave her a beautiful Cala lily, and Soonyoung (wanting to stick out) gave her a Bird of Paradise.

She looked around for Seokmin but he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he just skipped out on the whole idea. He was the one to buy the cake after all.

“Thanks you guys.” She almost teared up, “it’s the most beautiful bouquet I’ve ever received.” 12 beautiful flower blossoms all unique in their own ways. Yet all familiar in their own ways.

“I should get going now and get these flowers in water.” She announced grabbing her stuff, “I’ll see everyone in another day because of Seokmin and Vernon’s birthday dinner.”  
“I hope you bring my gift too Noona.” Chan spoke up, she laughed along with the rest of them.  
“Oh yeah I totally forgot about that…” she joked laughing when the maknae made a sour face, “goodbye guys!”  
“Bye Noona.”

She walked out, carrying the bouquet safely when she reached the elevator and the doors opened up.  
“OH, hi Noona.”  
“Seokmin.” She smiled looking and seeing the huge bouquet of glowing daffodils in his arms, “those for a girlfriend?” She teased laughing when he blushed bright pink. “I thought idols weren’t supposed to date,”  
“Noona!” He whined.  
“Hey I’m sure she’ll love em, I’ve gotta go get my own bouquet in water,” she laughed gesturing down to the various types of flowers in her hands.

“Noona, these are for you!” He shoved the golden flowers in her face, “it's bad luck to give someone a single daffodil. So I got a bunch… for good fortune and health.”

“Oh?” She shrieked surprised.   
“Yeah… I hope you like daffodils?” He coughed.  
“They’re my favorite flower…”  
“Really?” He said excitedly, “I had a feeling you’d like them!”  
“I love them, thank you.” She tried to hold them but her hands were already so full.  
“Let me walk you out?” He offered, “I’ll carry stuff.”  
“Thanks,” she nodded blushing pink when he took some of the stuff from off her limbs so she had less to carry. 

“Since you obviously read up on flower symbolism, what do they mean?” She asked pointing down at the bouquet of various plants.  
“Well uh… daisies are innocence and purity.”  
“Ah that sounds totally like Vernon and Seungkwan.” She said sarcastically. He chuckled continuing on. Bumping shoulders just to be closer to each other as they walked.  
“Bird of paradise is joyfulness, iris is wisdom, and chrysanthemum is loyalty, I think peonies are compassion.”  
“Then what are Daffodils?” She asked smiling.  
“Daffodils are chivalry, rebirth, joy.”  
“That’s a lot covered.” She joked loving the flowers that much more.  
“There’s more!” He said excitedly, “daffodils are eternal life, prosperity.”  
“Haha let me guess there’s more?” She was grinning ear to ear when they reached her car.

“Just one more.” He nodded, “daffodils are unrequited love.”

“Oh.” She exclaimed surprised looking up at his warm eyes and climbing into the driver’s seat of her old rickety car. “Well they’re perfect.”  
“Thanks Jin-Noona.”   
“Happy early birthday Seokie.”  
“I’ll see you in a couple days.” He nodded.  
“Okay, see you.” She waved closing her car door and slowly driving away. Almost adding an ‘I love you’ onto the end just because. Just because she certainly suffered from an unrequited love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow 18 chapters already I can’t believe it! Thanks to those readers who actually stuck with this story for so long, i love all y’all so friggen much


	19. Crushing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin gives Seokmin his birthday gifts, and gives up on fighting herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! Thanks to everyone still reading this story, it honestly makes me so happy to see people reading this. I wrote this 100% for myself and I hope other people find joy in it too.

Only a few days later was the company dinner where Seokmin, Vernon, and Dino all celebrated their mid February birthdays together.

She had sat next to Mingyu, to give him her drinks again.

“I’m the tallest therefore I have the highest alcohol tolerance.” He justified.  
“But you always get drunk first.” She pointed out he just frowned sticking out his tongue.  
“Honestly Noona, that book you gave me was fascinating. The ending was such a twist.” Wonwoo with some alcohol in him was extremely more talkative as well. He smiled and it was the first time she’d seen his teeth. 

“I’m so glad you liked it!” She beamed.   
“Should we open gifts?” Seungcheol called from the head of the table. The birthday boys just shouted in affirmation.

Each of the members took turns giving the three their gifts. Varying between clothes, snacks, and gadgets.

“Happy birthday Dino.” She said. He beamed holding up the satin bomber jacket she had saved up for. Knowing the maknae would love it.  
“THIS IS SO COOL!” He grinned, “You really didn’t forget about my gift.”

“Thanks Noona!” Vernon cheered holding up a Japanese designer brand bucket cap.  
“Try it on!” She urged. He secured the hat on his head, “it looks great,” she nodded proud she’d made the right choice even if it did cost her a couple hundred thousand won.

“Noona… what’s this…” Seokmin took out the pink fabric hanbok she had ordered for him.  
“It matches Coco’s.” She explained, “I just had to get it for you.”   
“Really, it’s perfect!” He yelled, “LOOK AT THIS HYUNG!”  
She giggled at how enthusiastic he was being.  
“Thank you Noona!” He bowed in his seat. She just waved it off from the opposite end of the table.   
“Your welcome,” she beamed, “there’s a few more things in the bag.”

“Wow you bought more for Seokmin-hyung?” Chan joked rolling his eyes.  
“Your gift cost twice as much as his did, so yes I bought a few more things for Seokie.” She retorted smirking at the maknae who just pouted.

“They’re headphones…” He unwrapped a small package.  
“I don’t know, I heard you collected different types so I got you ones in a color.” She shrugged, but noticed the awed expression on his face.  
“How’d you know?” He stuttered.  
“I’ve just heard from the others.”  
“Thank you,” He actually bowed in his seat, and she felt vaguely embarrassed by the gesture. The others were laughing at this, knowing Seokmin all too well.  
“There’s one more thing.” She coughed pointing.  
“What? Really?”  
“It’s not big or expensive or anything.”

He hesitantly pulled out a small circular frame, only as big as a magnifying glass’ lens.

“I pressed some of them because I wanted to preserve them.” She explained. Inside the tiny glass frame were dried daffodils, preserved in time and unmovable.  
“Whoa…” He held it up to the light, and she leaned back in her seat proud of her small contributions to the stack of gifts.

“Why daffodils Noona?” Jeonghan asked peering through the glass as well.

“They’re the flowers he got me for… Valentine’s Day.” She explained.   
“Flowers? As in multiple?” Jeonghan wondered aloud. She just nodded defeatedly. Some of them looked surprised and Minghao nudged her side gently. Smirking at the blush that was starting to climb its way up her cheeks.

“Thank you…” Seokmin cleared his throat, a brilliant shade of pink. She assumed from the alcohol.  
“Of course.” She nodded before he continued opening the gifts from the other members. His eyes never strayed too far from her spot at the table though, smiling when she smiled, and laughing when she made a joke. 

The night went by amiably on. More drinks were poured, and more laughing was to be had. It was reaching midnight when their manager told them it was time to get home.

“I’ll walk out with you.” She agreed grabbing her bag and following the group out of the restaurant. Minghao and Jun clung together at her side.

“Honestly I can’t wait for your birthday Haohao, I know just what to get you.” Jun said kissing his boyfriend’s neck. She groaned.  
“Can’t you two keep it to yourselves?” The problem with being best friends with a couple.

“I just meant that Hao’s been really wanting this tan jumpsuit and I should get it for him.” Jun clarified, giving her an exasperated look for having such filthy thinking.  
“You don’t have to wait for my birthday you know.” Minghao suggested, laughing at Jun’s expression.  
“I guess you’re right about that.” 

“Jun-hyung and Minghao being a cheesy couple again?”  
“Hm? Oh.” She was unsurprised to find Seokmin at her side, as he usually was. “Yeah. Gross right?” He nodded smiling like a puppy who just found a home. “Happy birthday Seokie.”  
“Oh thanks, I loved the stuff you got me by the way.”  
“Oh you’re welcome, I was just trying to narrow down what to give you. It was difficult as hell.” She chuckled fluffing up his already fluffy chestnut colored hair.  
“Sometimes I wonder how you’re so nice to me.” He sighed his eyes creasing into half moons.  
“Your my best friend Seokie, of course I’d be nice to you sometimes.”  
“Sometimes? Wow, I see how it is.”

“And you’re the one who’s complaining about US being a cheesy couple.” Minghao coughed, walking faster so she couldn’t reach out and strangle him. Seokmin’s face turned into a half concealed grin, his cheeks turning bright pink.

“Anyways, thank you for the gifts.” He whispered softer this time.  
“You’re welcome.” She was about to look at him and smile when he wrapped her in a random hug.  
“I would’ve done this earlier if I was sitting by you.”  
“Seokmin…” she sighed, feeling some of the members turn their attention to where she stood in place. She eventually gave in, gently squeezing his shoulder to let her know she accepted the hug, “happy birthday.”

***

Just after February ended, preparations for their next comeback began again. This time they’d put out a full album, with separate unit tracks. One for the hip hop, performance, and vocal teams as well as their title track ‘Don’t Wanna Cry’.

It would be released in the end May, which only gave them a month and a half to prepare.

“Really, really, really, really trust my heart.” She sang, Youngshin joining in for the chorus (the only part he knew).  
“Really, really, really, really I like you…” Youngshin had gotten used to the constant noise of her workspace.

“Fittings start tomorrow with the performance team,” she read off the email of her schedule from the CEO. “It also requests for extra durability in the pants because some of the dance is on the floor…”  
“Use that translucent sealant spray.” He suggested.  
“Can you go run out and get that for me tomorrow?” She asked looking up from the monitor.  
“Yeah.” He nodded, “consider it done.”

She was in the back organizing the all white outfits for the performance team in their bags, checking them over for stains. Luckily none of the sort were visible on the clean fabric. From the back room she heard the door to the office open and close.

“If you’re looking for Jin, she’s in the back.” Muffled by the door she could hear Youngshin talking with someone.

“It’s okay, I’ll just wait…” it was Seokmin. Of course it had to be Seokmin. She stood up suddenly banging her head on a rack rubbing the sore spot.

“So how’s your day been, hyung?”  
“Busy.” Youngshin replied sharply.  
“Ah… comeback preparations?”  
“Yes.” Her assistant didn’t give him more than one word answers after that. She was tempted to press her ear up against the door to hear better when she heard their hushed voices.

“You know I don’t like what you’re doing to Noona very much.” She could hear Youngshin hissing.

“Huh?” Seokmin was loud enough to hear clearly, the confusion in his voice.  
“You tell Noona you don’t like her, and yet you somehow seem to edge closer to her and make up excuses to talk with her every second of the day.”

She gasped silently, what the hell was Youngshin saying?

“Hyung, I don’t understand…”  
“No you don’t, and that’s the problem!” Youngshin said raising his voice. “Noona has people that love her and don’t just play with her emotions.”

She swung open the door eyeing the two sharply.

“I heard my name.” She raised an eyebrow. Youngshin was holding the one Valentine she kept, with the tiny stick figure on the front. Showing it to Seokmin like he was making a point.  
“Hi Noona!” Seokmin grinned cheerfully. Youngshin looked suddenly extremely guilty, setting the card down on her desk gently.  
“Sorry,” He coughed awkwardly. She gave him a scowl turning her attention to the idol sitting attentively on her couch.  
“How can I help you, Seokmin?” She asked.

“It’s pouring rain outside, I just thought if you didn’t have an umbrella…” He shyly held out an umbrella, “you could borrow this one.”  
“Oh… th… thanks,” She stuttered taking the black umbrella from his hand, conscious not to touch his hand as she did so.  
“I think I should go meet the others at the van.” He stood up. Stepping back she nodded.  
“Okay. Keep dry Seokie…”  
“Bye Noona, bye Youngshin-hyung.” And he was gone. 

“What the hell?” She asked Youngshin storming over to his desk.  
“I was just being honest,” he raised his hands feigning innocence.  
“Honest? HONEST?” She shrieked waving the umbrella violently in the air.  
“Look Noona, you have to admit he’s a total flirt whenever you’re around! It’s awful because…”  
“Because what?” She tapped her foot impatiently.  
“Well because you still like him…” he sighed, she got even angrier at the words.  
“I DO NOT!” Her voice raising in octave.  
“Please! You look at him like he’s the world! I’m surprised more people don’t notice it.” Youngshin bluntly told her, “Noona, he’s an idol giving you very twisted fan service. He seems genuine, but since he said he didn’t have feelings for you in the past I’d think he has other motives,”  
“Other motives?” She stood back shocked.  
“Noona, a pretty girl like you fawning over him is a huge ego boost. He could just be playing you,” Youngshin said seriously, “just… be careful around him, Noona. Try to find whoever sent you this card, I’m sorry but I read it over when you were gone. It’s so genuine…”  
“You read the card?” She deadpanned annoyance leaking into her voice.  
“I’m sorryyyyy.” He whined, she couldn’t help but smile at her assistant. “You have people like this who love you, why don’t you quit focusing on Seokmin, and start looking somewhere else?”

“Thank you for looking out for me, but I trust Seokmin,” Squeezing his arm affectionately she sighed and walked back over to her desk. Knowing that Seokmin would never play with her emotions like that, but would he? Plus she just couldn’t get up and get over Seokmin, that wasn’t a possibility. She had fallen too deep. It was past the point of being a harmless crush.


	20. Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly fluffy moments, and mutual obliviousness.

“You’re early.” She remarked seeing Youngshin already at the office.  
“I just bought the fabric spray to make the pants waterproof.” He showed her the grocery bag filled with cans.  
“It sucks that it’s raining outside. I need a well aerated place to do this.” She sighed, switching her computer on.

“Hello?” Hoshi poked his head in the room.  
“Soonyoung!” She smiled, “first fitting of the day!”  
“Cool,” he grinned yawning.  
“Okay, so there’s three outfits I need you to try on.” She explained showing him the garment bags. “Go change.”

She saw Jun next, awkward tension hung between him and Youngshin.  
“Ahem…” she cleared her throat, “let’s get started, yeah?”

Minghao came in, and Youngshin excused himself to go home. She knew it was because of their breakup.  
“Hey Hao Hao.” She greeted cheerfully.  
He got changed standing up on the platform so she could pin the fabric for alterations.  
“You seem distracted.” He tilted his head to the side scanning the office will observant eyes. That was one word to describe Minghao perfectly, observant.

“What’s that?” He noticed. She sighed deciding to tell him the truth.   
“Someone sent this card to me for Valentine’s Day.” She held out the card. He took it and glanced it over.  
“Whoa… that’s… intense…” he read the card over and over again his eyes squinted in scrutiny.  
“I just hoped if I found who wrote this I’d have a shot at moving on.” 

She clapped her hand over her mouth the minute the words spilled out.  
“Moving on?” He knew. He couldn’t unknow now, “who is it?”  
“Hao it’s nothing. It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head embarrassed enough as it was.  
“No way.” He groaned suddenly having a moment of epiphany.  
“No way what?” She demanded her nerves strung on end.  
“Whose umbrella is that, Noona?” He pointed to the folded up umbrella on her desk.  
“That’s Seokie’s umbrella, he just let me borrow it because it was… no. No, Minghao!” She cried.

“It’s Seokmin, isn’t it?” He knew. OF COURSE HE KNEW HE'S MINGHAO.

“Don’t you dare say a word. You have to promise me, please Hao.” She begged.  
“You know, I saw it before I don’t know why I didn’t put two and two together.” He shook his head looking thoroughly amazed. “And yeah, don’t worry I promise.”  
“Thank you.” She sighed, “You’re a good best friend.”  
“I know. Now your birthday’s coming up in July, what do you want?” He asked changing the subject.  
“Hmmm… I mean a handbag would always be welcomed.” She giggled.

It was day 2 where the vocal team would have their fittings. 

“Yeah, I hope your allergies get better Jeonghanie.” She nodded gravely, knowing the feeling of a plugged up nose and sore throat.  
“It’s already half past nine…” he mused looking at the clock on his phone, “do you think you could give the last person a ride home? I don’t want to keep the boys waiting around.”  
“Yeah, you tell Coups that I’ll drop them off later.” She agreed waving Jeonghan goodbye.

“I’m going to head home, Noona.”  
“Okay, stay out of the rain, Youngshin.”  
“I will.” He nodded. The rhythmic drip drop sound of a leak somewhere could be heard echoing throughout the basement. It was probably raining hard.

She curled herself up in the blanket she kept in her office, shivering from how cold the basement got at night.

“Noona?” It was Seokmin.  
“Hey what’s up?” She asked confused.  
“I’m here for the fitting.” He gestured laughing at her confused expression, “I’m the last fitting today.”  
“RIGHT!” She snapped her fingers, standing up holding the blanket around her shoulders, “I’ve got three things… and the final piece I have for you is the sweater so try them on one by one.”

Exiting out of the fitting room in the grey suit she chose for him, it fit near perfect. His lean muscular figure highlighted with the silhouette. She couldn’t help but check out his arms, that looked so fucking strong and hot as shit. Sending her imagination into a heated chaos. Everything about him was so sexy. Dressed in the slightly wrinkled blazer and slackened tie, collared shirt unbuttoned slightly giving her a glimpse of his honey colored skin.

“Shit.” She gulped, unable to hold back her praise, “it looks perfect.”

“Thanks,” he turned around in the mirror. “I think I gained too much weight…” He sighed defeatedly, pinching at the sleeve on his arm.  
“What?” She shrieked, “no way!” She wanted him to stop doubting himself, it hurt seeing him unsure of his own appearance when he looked almost heavenly.

“Seokmin, you’re literally perfect. It looks perfect! So stop self deprecating.” She ordered, not even caring how her words sounded, platonically and not. He just looked at her with shock.  
“Noona…”  
“Don’t.” She cut him off, “why is this even a concern? You look great.”  
“All the other members are so thin…” he said frowning.  
“Seokie, you can’t compare yourself to them. You’re… you’re…” She stuttered as if she didn’t trust was she would say next. Sighing, she just told him the truth, “you’re perfect. So many people believe that too.”  
“Th… thanks…” he said in a bashful tone that he typically didn’t use.

Youngshin had warned her to be careful, but when Seokmin was smiling and laughing all the warnings went out the window. She’d go through any immeasurable amount of heartache and pain just so he could be beaming with happiness.

“Plus girls typically don’t like twigs.” She said jokingly, fixing the fold in his suit jacket. “Now go change into the next one.”

The sweater was too boring. It just was. Compared to the other outfit, Seokmin didn’t stand out. She wanted to make him stand out. To convince everyone that he was the hottest man alive. 

“Well…” she sighed, “this sucks…”  
“What is it, Noona?” He asked concerned.  
“Well that piece isn’t what I thought it would look like. Even though it’s hundreds of dollars…” she groaned.  
“I think it looks good,” he tried to comfort her.  
“Of course it looks good.” Anything would look good on you, she almost added but didn’t. “But you need something more.”  
“More?” He asked bangs falling in front of his wide doe eyes.  
“I’ll figure it out.” Shaking her head she wrote something down on her phone. “Go get changed and I’ll drive you back to the dorms.”  
“Okay.” He frowned concerned looking back at her.

“So what do you think you’re going to do?” He asked pulling on his jacket.  
“Maybe I’ll use an old piece?” She shrugged, “it’ll be rushed, but I’m determined to make you look as good as possible Seokie. That’s my job.”  
“And you’re really good at your job.” He added knowingly. She nodded.

***

“Oh shit…” it was pouring rain outside. “It’s only March and it’s raining already?”  
“Technically spring Noona.” He pointed out.  
“Here’s your umbrella by the way.” She handed it over. He opened it when they got outside.

“What are you doing? Come over here,” he was laughing, “I’m not going to let you get drenched.” She scooted over so she could fit under the umbrella, comfortably squished up against his side.  
“You’re warm.” She mused, the heat radiating from his jacket.  
“Oh are you cold?” He asked concerned, reaching out with the hand that wasn’t holding the umbrella and touching her forehead. “Jesus Christ you’re freezing!”  
“Bad circulation.” She shrugged.  
“In your head?” He laughed zipping open his coat, “come on, I don’t want you catching a cold.” 

She huddled next to him tucked in his down jacket. She took shaky breaths, so close to him she could see every tiny detail of his profile. From his signature crinkled eyes, to his pointy nose. He did have a significantly pointed nose. Adorable. She was too soft for him.

“Thank you,” She hummed.  
“Of course,” he wrapped his arm around her shoulders holding her close. Strong enough to hold the umbrella with one arm, and her with the other. “Still think I’m perfect up close?” He made a weird face which she giggled at.  
“Always.” She nodded making him smile brightly again. They reached the car only a second later.

“Okay I’m going to let go… in 3, 2… 1!” He closed the umbrella and let her run to the driver’s side door. She was shrieking laughing, being pelted with all of nature’s fury and finally making it into the dry interior of the car. Seokmin was dripping slightly too, throwing his umbrella to the back seat.

“Remember that time you almost ran over me with this car?” He joked leaning back in his seat and wiping his face with the dry tissues she kept.  
“Like it was yesterday.” She laughed, throwing her slightly damp hair back wringing it out. “It was my interview day. I thought I’d messed everything up because I criticized the CEO and the company.”  
“I’m glad you got the job, Noona.” He nodded switching on the stereo to a familiar tune.  
“I think my one saving grace was the sweater I made that really impressed the CEO…” she went silent suddenly.  
“What is it?” He asked.  
“Do you mind making a stop before I drop you off at the dorm?”   
He shook his head.

“Okay.” She threw open the door to her apartment, gesturing for him to follow, “wait here.” She dug in the back of her closet for the sweater. Taking it out of its bag and holding it up. Still as soft and durable as ever.

“Here, change into this.” She showed him the aubergine and forest green piece she handmade.

“Whoa…” He held it up, “you made this? You’re crazy talented…”  
“Thanks.” She blushed. 

He reached for the hem of his T-shirt shirt sliding the cotton fabric up over his honey colored skin exposing the faint outline of his abs. Shit… she was in a daze. 

He was so fucking hot, it was disorienting to be so close. She felt the urge to touch them, to rake her fingernails across his perfect skin and leave little red marks which she would heal with wet kisses.

“WHOA WHOA WHOA!” She came to her senses, stopping him from stripping in front of her, “at least turn around or something.  
“Oh sorry,” he chuckled, turning his back to her and throwing his shirt off. She gulped her mouth going dry, inadvertently dragging her eyes along the sculpted planes of his back. It was a perfection she’d like to corrupt.

She turned around, so she wasn’t facing him. Already blushing heavily, feeling her mouth dry up paired with the sudden need for water.

“Hey it fits,” turning around she smiled.

She hadn’t wanted to sell this piece along with the rest of her collection, not wanting all her hard work to go to someone who didn’t appreciate the time that went into the sweater. However finally, she knew she could let it go.

“It doesn’t need any alterations either…” she mused scanning the proportions of the piece (totally not fawning over the little sweater paws it gave him).

“Think it will work?” He asked posing.  
“Yeah, it’ll be perfect.” She sighed. How this man could go from sexy as hell to adorable as fuck in the matter of seconds boggled her mind. It had to be impossible the way her heart tugged so violently for the idol singer. And yet here she found herself, head over heels, past the point of falling, laying at the bottom of the inescapable ditch that just had to be love.

“Now do you want some tea before I drive you back?” She offered needing some sort of beverage to clear her dry throat.  
“Sure.” He nodded.

She got to the kitchen so she wouldn’t have to witness the idol changing again. Not that she didn’t enjoy it, her heart just couldn’t deal already beating at a pace that probably wasn’t healthy. She would also probably act stupidly, not wanting to risk breaking platonic affection and making him suspicious.

“Green tea?” She slid the mug over the kitchen counter. He took it. “Be careful, it’s hot.”  
“Mmm.” He nodded taking a small sip and setting it down.  
“I’m sorry this took so long, I know you need your sleep,”  
“No, it’s fine,” somehow his assurance eased her concern.  
“Honestly your schedules are awful. You have to wake up at 5AM and go to bed after midnight…” she shook her head, taking a gulp of her own drink.  
“It’s okay,” he shrugged, “it’s okay when you love what you do.”

“Are there ever things you hate about being an idol?” She wondered aloud, “there has to be some things.”  
“Hmmm… dieting sucks, and the dating ban.” He nodded.  
“You have a dating ban?” She laughed.  
“Some of the members break it, like Minghao and Jun did. I’m sure that others have girlfriends too, and they just don’t share.” He explained, “but I think it’s better for me if I abide by the rule.”  
“Why is it better?” She asked confused.  
“If I started dating the girl I liked, I’d put her first over my career. I’m so whipped already…” He shook his head resting it in his hands, “and I can’t do anything about it because I’m such a coward.”  
“What?” She felt hurt in way. She already knew he didn’t like her, but he liked ANOTHER girl? Gritting her teeth she continued, hoping he didn’t see the frown on her face, “I’m sure if you asked her, she’d say yes.”

“She doesn’t like me.” He sighed. She suddenly felt a little bit elated at that fact.

“I hate when that happens.” Laughing she gulped down the rest of the drink.  
“Huh? But I haven’t seen you dating Noona, do you have a boyfriend that you didn’t tell us about? Did you ask out Sewoon the intern?”  
“No!” She denied, “of course I don’t. I’m a hermit who lives in an office listening to Big Bang for 12 hours a day.” He almost spat out his drink laughing violently. “But I’ve been rejected before.”  
“Really?” He asked eyes wide.  
“Of course!” She giggled, “the asshole who I’m fucking in love with rejected me.”  
“Huh? Who is it?” He demanded slamming his mug down on the counter. “I’ll punch him in the face for you, even though I’ve never punched anyone before… I’ll learn!”  
“He’s not really an asshole, Seokie,” She sighed, “he’s way too perfect to be an asshole.”  
“Who is he?” Seokmin said seriously.  
“I… I can’t say…” She stuttered, “Really it’s fine I’m getting over him.”  
“Good. He doesn’t deserve you.”

She laughed at the irony of it all.

“Yeah he really doesn’t.” She smiled. “Now let’s get you home.”  
“Thank you for uh being honest… Noona.” He smiled brightly, she just beamed back brushing the small pieces of hair out of his eyes. Adorable.  
“You’re welcome.”


	21. Saying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> July, Jin’s birthday, and the ‘Don’t Wanna Cry’ comeback.

“Don’t wanna cry…” She sang, the catchy tune stuck in her head.  
“Be careful where you sing that, you don’t want to give out spoilers before the song releases.” Seungcheol told her.  
“Your performance is tomorrow, I hardly doubt Carats haven’t seen the teasers.” She laughed.  
“Hey! You know our fan club name!” He said happily.  
“How could I not? They’re everywhere.”

They were at the MBC stage, for their pre recording of the comeback show.  
“Seungcheol!” The manager called.  
“See you later.” She waved as Seventeen’s leader went to go see what was up.

“Gonna be in the crowd again tonight, Noona?” Seokmin approached her chair, Hoshi not too far behind.  
“Wait she was in the crowd in our last show?” Soonyoung asked confused.   
“You didn’t notice me?” She pouted joking with the performance team leader. “Nah I’m staying backstage. Don’t want to risk getting suffocated in the constant wave of fangirls.”  
“You know, she should join our gag team, Seok-ah.” Hoshi joked.  
“BooSeokJinSoon?” Seokmin suggested.  
“Catchy.” She nodded sarcastically.

“Seokmin, Soonyoung, hurry up!” Seungcheol called signaling their cue to go on stage.  
“Hey, good luck. SoonSeok fighting,” She told them encouragingly. Hoshi ran after Seungcheol, Seokmin paused mid step not following the older two.

“Good luck hug?”  
“Fine.” She agreed quickly pulling him close. Inhaling his soft cotton scent, “good luck.” she whispered in his ear, letting him go when Seungcheol called his name again.  
“Bye Noona!” He shouted sprinting away. Smiling after him affectionately, she just waved.

***

Of course the comeback was a huge success, Seventeen’s popularity launching to global wide levels. She couldn’t have been prouder, seeing how hard the boys all worked behind the scenes.

June passed by in a flash, a mix of promotional activities and variety shows. She didn’t get much time to talk with the others, working on the concept for the next music video already.

Sighing she shut off the lights to her office, it was 1AM and she thought the building was empty. Finishing up her work late.

All the hallways were dark when she made her way towards the elevator. She shivered, the darkness was getting to her.

“You know singing makes things less scary…”  
“AH FUCK!” She turned around bringing her handbag up like a weapon. “What the hell Seokmin.” He was in stitches laughing.  
“You didn’t hear me behind you?” He grinned.  
“No!” She scowled, “don’t scare me like that.”  
“Sorry! Sorry.” He laughed some more, “anyways come with me.”  
“What?”  
“Just… come on,” he grabbed her wrist gently tugging her to the practice room.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIN-NOONA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!”

“Oh my god…” her jaw dropped. All thirteen boys, her assistant, and their manager sang for her. “Wait, What day is it?” She asked confused.  
“Well it’s 1AM, July 24th.” Seokmin grinned standing by her side.  
“It’s my birthday…” she laughed. “It’s my birthday!”  
“Happy birthday Noona.” He gripped her hand a little tighter when she blew out the candles on the chocolate cake.  
“Are you sure this isn’t just an excuse to eat cake?” She grinned at each member of the group that had slowly become her family. Everyone laughed.

“We all have gifts too!” Seungcheol pointed to a pile of wrapped boxes on the floor.  
“Honestly you didn’t have to,” she shook her head sheepishly picking up the first box.  
“You’re always getting us gifts, we thought it was our turn to return the favor.” Seungcheol chuckled handing her a box.

She opened the first gift, an adorable pair of mittens from Seungkwan. Then an ugly, but hilarious button up blouse from Seungcheol who told her he tried his hardest, but had no sense of style. She reached the bottom of the pile. Seokmin’s eyes lighting up when she took out a package wrapped in red.

“Wow…” She awed taking out the soft Black designer brand pullover. “This is beautiful…” the fabric was so soft against her hand, she’d been looking for a piece like this for a while too.

“Honestly you had to show us up?” Jeonghan whined.  
“He’s just a bad spender,” Seungkwan snorted with jealousy. Seokmin shrugged eyes creasing as he smiled.  
“I’m glad you like it, Noona.”  
“I love it.”

“Open mine now!” Minghao spoke up cutting him off, “the plaid wrapping paper,”  
“Oh?” She laughed when Seokmin pouted from being interrupted. Squeezing the main vocalist’s hand she laughed at his pouty lips.

“What’s this?” She exclaimed unwrapping the tissue.  
“It’s what you said you wanted, right?” Minghao grinned when she took out the small designer bag. Printed with beige plaid and navy blue.  
“It’s adorable!” She cried holding it up to the light to see it better, “I can’t believe you got this for me! Thank you,”  
“You’re welcome.”  
“Count on Minghao to show us up too.” Jisoo laughed, shaking his head.

She returned to the pile, beaming. Only one gift left, but all the members had already given her their gifts.

“Who’s this from?” She asked them holding up a rectangle box.  
“I don’t know.” Seungcheol frowned, “manager-ssi is this from you?”  
“Nope.” Their manager shook his head.  
“Weird.” She mused tearing open the paper. 

‘Jin-Noona, I still can’t tell you who I am but I will soon I promise. Thank you for choosing me as your Valentine, and keeping the card :) I’m sorry for my drawings!’ 

It was the anonymous man again, she laughed reading more.

‘I hope you like the gift. I saw it and thought of you, so I had to buy it. With love, please don’t be anyone else’s. You can forget this if you want. 

Lovesick fool’

She held the card close so no one else could read it, grinning stupidly.

“Who’s it from?” Seungkwan asked speaking up.  
“A very talented writer.” She told them smiling, and opening the box. “Whoa…” it was a small Spider-Man action figure. “it’s adorable.” She held the box up, showing the members the little superhero in the box.

“HAHA!” Seungkwan laughed the loudest, “that’s such a great gift, Noona,”  
“It’s adorable, isn’t it?” She grinned.  
“You still haven’t told us who got it for you though,” Seungcheol pointed out.  
“I don’t know who got it for me.” She remarked honestly, they all looked at her curiously, “the card was signed anonymously.”  
“It’s her secret admirer,” Minghao chuckled from her left.

“NOONA HAS A SECRET ADMIRER?” The others looked shocked.  
“Hey! Don’t act so surprised that someone likes me!” She pouted, hugging the action figure box to her chest.   
“No it’s just… no one ELSE dropped a gift off since we arrived.” Seungcheol said slowly scanning the other members faces. Obviously implying it had to be one of them who gave it to her.   
“Oh?” She shrieked surprised.  
“No, we were waiting in here the whole time. We would’ve noticed if someone else came in here. Especially after midnight.” The leader scratched his neck awkwardly.

“It doesn’t matter, does it?” Minghao cut in suddenly everyone turning to face the Chinese idol. “Everyone knows I’m your favorite anyways, Noona.” They all laughed, the weird suspicion in the air all but dissipating.  
“You’re right about that.” She grinned poking his cheek giggling.

She left the celebration, gifts in hand, at the early hour of 3AM. Walking with the boys out to their vans.

“Thank you, again.” She bowed deeply, wishing them goodbye as she approached her car.  
“Yeah, it was fun Noona.” Seungcheol nodded leading the members off towards the parking lot.

“Noona…”  
“Huh?” She turned around, Seokmin hanging back from the group. Leaning on the right door of her battered vehicle the moonlight shining making his chestnut colored hair look silvery and iridescent.

“Is Minghao really your favorite?” He joked, pouting dramatically.  
“Of course not Seokie.” She giggled playfully pushing him off her car door. He turned around in one fluid motion.  
“Then who is your favorite?” He growled aggressively, backing her up against the side of the car. Her back was flush to the side of the vehicle, leaned against it. “Is it really Minghao? Or maybe it’s Seungcheol, you talk with him too much.”  
“I…” She stuttered, her heart threatening to stop. He was so strong, and his body felt so warm against the cool night air. She’d never really seen him like this before, it made her imagination turn to filth. His sadistic smirk so sinful it should be deemed illegal.  
“Maybe it’s Hoshi, he makes you laugh a lot.” He hummed low under his breath, “you always stand up for Vernon…”  
“Seokie…” she tried to focus her thoughts. As he inched closer and closer.  
“You heard what Seungcheol said… it has to be one of us.” His smirk twisting into a frown, “so who’s your favorite Jin?”

“HURRY UP SEOKMIN, WHERE ARE YOU?” Seungkwan’s voice clear in the empty parking lot.

“I’ve got to go.” He sighed pointing over his shoulder as if his trance broke, turning around to jog back towards the van.  
“Wait!” She grabbed his arm, “what do you want me to say?”  
“That it’s me, Noona.”  
“It’s you, Seokie.” She breathed out.  
“Oh? And you’re not just saying that because I wanted to hear it?”  
“No. I… I think you’re perfect, Seokmin.” She admitted, he smirked before pulling her into his arms.  
“Happy birthday, Jin.”

He disappeared running back towards the van and leaving her confused. So so confused.


	22. Inviting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Youjin misses her family, and Seokmin is there to comfort her.

August bled into September, and ‘My I’ was released globally. She was so proud of the results and the support the China line got from areas all over the world.

“Hey Noona, what are you doing over the Chuseok Holiday?” Seungcheol asked during a photo shoot for the leader team’s collaboration: ‘Change Up’.

“Staying at home, working,” She shrugged.  
“Are you sure you’ll be alright alone?” He frowned.  
“I’m sure.” Smiling she assured him she’d be alright.  
“We’re having a dinner the day before the vacation starts, can you join us?”  
“Yes, of course,” She nodded happy for the invitation, “I’d love to,”

Chuseok served as a weeklong holiday where everyone spent three days with their family. Usually everyone wore hanboks, and ate large meals with their family and extended family back in their hometowns.

She remembered that every year, her parents would take her to visit the site of her ancestor’s shrine, leaving flowers, and celebratory rice cakes. 

Even without her parents by her side she left early in the morning to leave her own flowers and offerings at the shrine. This year would me no different.

It had been almost a full year since she joined the Seventeen staff, making her time working for the company that much more unbelievable and treasured.

“Have a good holiday Hao, and Jun,” The two were leaving on a flight to China later that day, stopping by her office to wish her a happy chuseok.  
“Bye Noona!” The two waved, linked arm in arm as they left.

“Noona, ready to go?” Seungcheol poked his head inside her office.  
“Huh? Oh the holiday dinner!” She snapped her fingers remembering, “yeah, I’ll meet you there,”  
“Great. I’ll send you the place.”

***

She found herself at a fairly upscale grill restaurant. Getting there a couple minutes after the others who were already seated.

“Noona!” Mingyu cheered first, tipsy.

“Hey guys,” she laughed taking a seat next to the tallest member with the puppy dog personality. Seungkwan was to her right, babbling away about some dramatic thing that happened to him that day (that probably wasn’t as dramatic as he made it sound). She laughed, ate, talked with their manager, but refused all alcohol she was handed.

“Noona, what are you doing for the holiday break?” she blinked twice at Vernon’s question a bit taken aback at the suddenness.

“I… I’m just going to be working,” She smiled.  
“What?” He asked surprised. He wasn’t one of the members who knew about her conflict with her family.  
“I’ll be resting.” She corrected herself grinning, “and you?” She asked changing the subject. He started on about his family’s home, and all his little cousins. How his parents would always bake the best food and serve little desserts. Sighing in sadness, she caught Seokmin’s eye from the other end of the table.

“That sounds… so wonderful, Vernon-ah.” she smiled, “I’m just going to run to the bathroom, sorry.” standing up from the table she patted Vernon’s shoulder, and walked swiftly to the women’s restroom.

No one else was inside, she let herself cry. Tears spilling over the edges of her eyes. She knew she should be fine, but not being with her family at the time of the holiday brought up old memories turned sour. She still didn’t understand why her parents practically disowned her after she left to university. She didn’t understand, and she couldn’t find out why.

Was she always just a disappointing daughter to them? Letting herself look in the mirror and wonder left tears continuously flowing down her cheeks, staining her pale skin with shiny rivers.

Knocking on the bathroom door snapped her out of thoughts.

“Jin-Noona…”  
“Go away Seokmin.” She called back trying to mask the wavering of her voice.  
“I know it must be hard for you, Noona. Just come out and talk to me,” He pleaded.  
“I said GO AWAY!” she said harsher this time, wiping the runny makeup off her face. Silence followed, thinking he left.

“If you don’t come out now, I’ve got no choice but to go in there myself.” He didn’t leave.  
“Fine, fine, don’t come in here,” She said panicked, pulling the door open. He was waiting on the other side, hand reached out to the door handle. She hid her face, staring down at the floor.  
“What do you want?” she whispered, refusing to look up. A tear trickling down her cheek. He reached out, grabbing her limp right hand in his stroking the small silver ring on her pinky finger.

She looked up at him surprised.

“Noona,” He pulled her into a hug, arms wrapping around her thin frame. She stood still too shocked to move. “I’m not going to act like I know how painful this is for you.” at his words she gave in, tears trickling down her face and onto his shirt. In the dimly lit hallway, where she realized that words couldn’t comfort her like his embrace did.

“I… I’m just worried that,” She said between tears, “that I was never a good daughter to them,” he held her tighter, and she tentatively wrapped her arms around his body as well. 

Once she had cried herself out, she stepped back.  
“Thank you,” She said softly, wiping at her eyes.  
“Noona…” He said slowly as if he was thinking about his words instead of just saying whatever was on his mind like usual, “please…” he trailed off.  
“Please what?” She asked confused.

“Please come stay with me over the holiday.” 

“WHAT?” She shrieked.  
“My family is always happy to have guests! It would be nice for you to come over and celebrate.”  
“What? No way… I wouldn’t want to put your family out like that,” she shook her head eyes wide already.  
“No! They’d love to have you.” He nodded intently, “think of this as my request. Please please please would you come spend the holiday with my family?” He begged.  
“Seokmin…” she sighed squeezing his hand that was still linked with hers. “You’re too generous sometimes,”  
“I don’t hear a no!” He laughed spinning her around joyfully.  
“I didn’t say yes!” She denied, “you have to check with your parents first!”  
“I’ll pick you up. Tomorrow at your apartment. At 10AM. Pack your bag for four days!”  
“Wait…” she started, but he cut her off again.  
“And be sure to bring your hanbok for the family dinner!”  
“Seokie…” she sighed.  
“Noona, stop thinking that you’re a burden to us. You’re not! You’re my best friend so please don’t think of yourself like that!” He was grinning at this point, and she remembered how adorable he was when he smiled like that at her.

“Thank you… I… I don’t know how to express it enough.” She smiled back.  
“Let’s get back to the table?” He suggested.  
“Yes, let’s eat.” She nodded following him back towards the main room of the grill restaurant. Her hand still unconsciously wrapped in his.

“Where were you two? The food is getting cold!” Seungcheol shook his head.  
“Constipation.” “I was waiting for her.” They said simultaneously, erupting laughter out of the rest of the table. She smiled to herself.  
“Oh my god.” Seungcheol face palmed gesturing for them to just sit down. She grinned when Vernon and Seungkwan tried to hold in their laughter, all but failing.

As she ate she saw Seokmin sending her small glances as if to check that she didn’t disappear. It was comforting, and everytime she caught him he’d pull a funny face which she would snort or giggle at.

“Hey Noona,” Vernon whispered. She looked to her side sending him a questioning glance.  
“What is it Vernonie?” She whispered back just to play along with whatever effect he was going for.  
“I know I asked this a while ago, but… are you and Seokmin-hyung, dating now?”  
“No way.” She frowned flicking Vernon on the forehead. He pouted, holding his forehead with his hands. Seungkwan leaned over as well.  
“Vernon was only mentioning that because some of the others were joking about how you and Seokmin were probably making out in the bathroom.” The Jeju native whispered a little louder.  
“You two are idiots, you know that?” She flicked Seungkwan too.  
“Sorry, sorry. Guess that’s not true.” He his behind Vernon to avoid any more of her finger flicking.  
“Obviously.” She deadpanned. Though the idea of Seokmin doing that to her didn’t sound all that unappealing.

Without anymore mention of Seokmin, she tried to change the topic of conversation to the desserts that were placed in front of them.

She left the restaurant with the others at half past 10. Laughing at some interpretation Joshua did of an American actor, she felt someone approach behind her. Looking over her shoulder.

“So tomorrow?” He asked resting his arm on her shoulder.  
“I have to deliver the flowers to my ancestors shrine in the morning.” She frowned.  
“We can do it on the way.” The chestnut haired idol grinned. She nodded blushing at how considerate he always was. He knew just what to say to make everything better.  
“On the way where?” Jisoo asked suspiciously, overhearing the last bit of their conversation.  
“Our families live close by so we’re carpooling.” Seokmin made up trying to create a good reason.  
“Alright then.” Jisoo scrunched up his nose. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked hopefully, looking at her with the best smile. It made her heart beat louder in her chest.  
“Yeah.” She smiled over at him, “I’ll see you then.” And again without warning he hugged her, right in the middle of the pavement. She was too shocked to hug back when he let her go, waving when he ran off to the car.

Joshua gave her a sideways glance, abruptly shaking his head.

“You two.” He said in English so no one would overhear.  
“What?” She whined.  
“Be safe over the holidays.”  
“Oh my god,” she wanted to punch him in the face, “no matter how saintly your image is, you’re honestly the devil incarnate.”  
“Hey you didn’t deny…”  
“I DENY! I DENY EVERYTHING COMPLETELY.” She cut him off.  
“Have a nice holiday, Jin-Noona.”  
“You too, Joshuji.” She teased. He frowned walking off towards the van. She waved to the thirteen turning around and walking back to her car.

***

That night she had trouble sleeping, just wondering about what Seokmin told his family. If it was even alright for her to stay with them. And if they did say it was alright, she was worried about how she would talk with them. What they would think of her.

Packing her bag, unpacking it, then repacking it out of sheer nerves. Arranging her flowers, then rearranging them so they looked perfect.

She had bought an extra bouquet on her way home from the dinner to give to Seokmin’s mother as a Chuseok gift.

Finally tucking herself into her bed, pulling the sheets over her head.  
“Shit, calm down Youjin.” She told herself flipping off the light switch.


	23. Escaping Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Youjin has a run in with her parents, and Seokmin follows up on his promises.

It was 6AM when she woke up to her blaring alarm, taking a shower, and tying up her long raven colored hair with a traditional flower pin by her right ear. She laid out her hanbok, the one her parents had gotten for her in her senior year of high school.

The top was a rich crimson red, with a white collar, embroidered with tiny golden flowers. The bottom skirt was in a shimmery silver silk, with the same golden flower pattern. She had picked this one out from all the ones her mother handed down to her for their annual New Years celebration.

She applied a light coat of makeup, making her pale skin appear more porcelain-like. Using minimal eye makeup, with a red lipstick that matched the color of the material.

By the time she was completely ready, it was nearing half past seven already. Double checking her small luggage bag, and purse were ready to go. The waiting was the toughest. What if he didn’t show up? What if he forgot about her?

Only then did she hear a knock at the door. 

“Happy Chuseok, Seokmin.” She bowed deeply, opening the door beaming. He was dressed in a detailed golden silk hanbok, with slate grey bottoms and small silver embroidery. When she looked up, he was frozen like a photograph.

“Hello?” She waved her hand in front of his face laughing when he blinked violently stumbling back over his own feet.

“Wow… you uh…” he stuttered adorably, “You look great.”  
“I could say the same for you. As pretty as a princess,” She commented, opening the door to let him in. “Can you help me carry?” Gesturing to the two bouquets on the table, the box of treats, and her luggage bag.  
“Yeah, of course,” he nodded sliding off his shoes when he entered her apartment, grabbing her luggage off the floor in one hand, and a bouquet in the other.  
“You don’t have to carry that much,” she laughed.  
“I’m fine, my car is parked outside.”  
“Alright.” She followed him into the elevator. “Wait you have a car?” She asked surprised.  
“Yeah,” he laughed, “you just realized that now?”  
“I’ve never seen you drive before!” She justified, “you never told me you had a car much less a license.”  
“I don’t use it much.” He shrugged, “but for special occasions like these, transportation comes in handy,”

They reached the bottom floor, him bowing slightly and gesturing.

“Ladies first.”  
“When have you ever said that to me?” Rolling her eyes she walked to the silver Toyota parked outside. She opened the trunk so Seokmin could load in her bag next to his own. “I can’t believe I’m leaving Seoul for the first time in ages,” she remarked careful not to wrinkle the skirt of her hanbok when she sat shotgun.

“Did you grow up here?” He asked starting up the car.  
“Mhmm, Yongsan district,” staring out the window up at the buildings of the urban metropolis she finally felt a little relieved to be taking some time off. “You know that’s where G-Dragon grew up.”  
“Oh of course it is,” He laughed, “so which way to…”  
“Just north, I’ll pull up a google map…” she scrolled for the saved address in her phone, letting the monotone voice tell them where to go. “Really thank you for offering and everything. I really hope I’m not intruding…”  
“Noona…” He said exasperatedly, “my mom can’t wait to meet you and I’m sure my sister will love you half to death, please stop thinking like that. This is just was best friends do for each other,”

She bit back a smile, lazily watching him drive, his sharp eyes focused on the road ahead.  
“Hey, stop staring at me,” he scolded over his shoulder. Laughing she reached out and stroked his cheek.  
“Why?” She pouted.  
“You’re distracting me from the road!” He said dramatically gesturing ahead.   
“I’m a very distracting person, aren’t I?” She smirked, cackling when he swerved the car accidentally.  
“No comment.” Rolling his eyes he continued on the directed path.

“So what’s your family like?” She changed topics, gazing out the window towards the forest they were approaching. He chatted on about his mother and father, older sister, older sister’s boyfriend, and Coco of course. He was still talking when the arrived at the end of the road. She loved his voice, every emotion and smile that he gave when he spoke. It put her in a daze and she could listen to it for hours.

“Hey, is this it?” He asked pointing.  
“Yeah I’ll be right back…”  
“No, I’m coming with you. We’re in the middle of the forest, you don’t think I’d let you go alone.” He got out of the car as well.  
“Are you sure…” she started but he just nodded dramatically.  
“Let’s go, we wouldn’t want to be late and upset your ancestors,” He joked. She nodded grabbing the bouquet of white lilies and the box of decorated rice cakes. “Lead the way.” He formally offered his arm and she took it, linking them together. 

“This feels like a historical drama.” He joked, as they strolled towards the shrine at a leisurely pace.  
“You’d of course play the evil mother in law.” She shot back, snorting when he guffawed out loud.

“Noona, there’s people there… are those your parents?” he whispered covering his mouth with his hand.   
“What?” She looked forward alarmed to see both her parents at the shrine.  
“Do you want to go back?” He whispered again.  
“No.” Taking a shaky breath in, she shook her head holding his arm a little tighter, “just please don’t let go of me…”   
“Never,” he said comfortingly.

They walked up quietly to the stone marked with her late ancestor’s names. She quietly walked in front of her parents and put the flowers down on the stone shrine, Seokmin at her side the whole way holding her gently.

She got on her knees bowing to the stone, her parents didn’t say a word. Not a word even if they knew she was right there beside them. Seokmin bowed down next to her respectfully.

She waited for a few seconds saying a few words in her head before standing up. Her parents were still bowing their heads throughout all of it, not even looking up and acknowledging her presence.  
“Let’s go,” She whispered in Seokmin’s ear taking his hand and pulling him away.

“Youjin-ah.” It was her father. She froze in place gripping Seokmin’s hand tightly, her knuckles turning white. Nervously turning around to see that her father was looking on at them.

“Yes… father,” she said the last bit quietly. Holding her breath.  
“Have a good year, Youjin-ah.”  
“I…” She was at a loss for words staring back down the pathway at her father who looked even more frail than when she’d last seen him.  
“She will, sir. I’ll make sure of it,” Seokmin spoke up catching her stumbling words. Smiling down at her, and holding her upright. He tugged her gently to snap her out of her shocked state. 

“Let’s go see my family, they’re expecting us,” He said loudly. Offering his arm out to her, which she took and let him lead her back to the car. They walked side by side down the forest path, autumn leaves all warm hues, not looking back.

She sat in the car collapsing into tears the minute the door closed.

“It’s alright, Jin. It’s alright.”  
“I didn’t know they’d be there…” she said blowing her nose into a tissue he handed over.  
“I know.”  
“Thank you.” She said drying her tears, “thank you, thank you.” Comfortably hugging him from her seat.  
“Let’s go, I’m sure tonight will be a blast.” He grinned optimistically turning on the ignition.


	24. Escaping Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin meets Seokmin’s family.

They made it to the Lee household just before lunchtime.

“How do my eyes look? Not puffy? Is my skin blotchy?” She worried dusting off her hanbok for the millionth time.  
“You look perfect Noona.” He assured her. She nodded fretting with her hair a little more before deeming herself ready. Blushing when he wiped a stray hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear loosely.  
“Thanks.” Looking up at his warm brown eyes, fluffy chestnut hair and beautiful honey colored skin, she uncontrollably smiled.

“Now, let's go!” He cheered breaking her trance.

She grabbed the bouquet of sunshine yellow daffodils and the food she had prepared for the family.  
“Shall we?” He offered his arm which she again took, laughing when he nudged her side playfully.

They reached the front door of a large brown colored house with a paved front walkway. Surrounding it was trees and plants that made the house seem even more picturesque.

He knocked on the door bouncing up and down in anticipation.  
“Seokie,” She whispered in scolding holding the flowers so they wouldn’t get crinkled.  
“Sorry,” he hissed back, “just nervous.”  
“About what?”  
“I really hope they like you, Noona.”  
“Me too.” She giggled. And then the door opened.

Seokmin’s mother looked warm and chipper just like her son. She had curly black hair and a long beautiful navy blue hanbok on.

“Hello ma’am,” Jin bowed deeply being as formal as possible.  
“Ah so you’re Youjin-ah?” The lady smiled a toothy grin.  
“Yes ma’am. These are for you.” She handed the kind looking lady the bouquet of flowers and small box of treats she had made.  
“Oh, why thank you. You can just call me mom if you’d like,” His mother smiled back, bowing as well.

“Thank you,” She bowed again flustered, “and I just go by Jin.”  
“Ah, wonderful, Jin. It’s so great to FINALLY meet you.”  
“Mommm.” Seokmin whined from beside her. She laughed at his reaction.  
“Come inside.” The kind lady offered opening the door wider for the both of them to slip off their shoes and enter the warm household.

“SEOKMIN!” A shrill female voice surprised Youjin, and made her jump a little. A girl shorter than her, but older, ran past and tackled him in a hug. She jumped back.

“Jin, this is my older sister. Mina.” He said with muffled words, his spritely older sister stopped hugging him and turned to face her.  
“You’re Jin?” The tiny lady asked surprised looking over her with the same sharp eyes her brother possessed.  
“Yes… Unnie?” She said using familiar honorifics.

“OH YES, please please call me Unnie. I’ve always wanted a yeodongsaeng.” The older replied, bubbly with optimism and kindness, “Jesus Christ you’re so freaking gorgeous, are you an idol too?”  
“Haha no, I’m not,” she shook her head laughing. Seokmin grinned squeezing her hand tighter in comfort, “you’re very beautiful too, Unnie.” Jin added nodding complimenting the older sister.

“OH MY GOD, I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! DUJUN HURRY UP AND COME OUT HERE.” The tiny lady shouted loudly.

A literal giant of a man with neatly styled raven hair, and glasses walked out of another room and towards them. She stepped back intimidated by his height and aura. The giant made his way over to Seokmin’s sister, kissing her head lovingly.

“What is it, Honey?” He asked her. His voice was low and he seemed somewhat shy. The exact opposite of Lee Mina in all aspects.

“This is Jin-Ah, isn’t she just precious?” Mina asked squeaking.  
“Noona! Stop embarrassing Jin.” Seokmin whined pulling at his older sister’s hair.  
“Aish evil Dokyeom.” The tiny lady hit him across the hand. 

Seokmin winced in pain, and Jin reflexively reached out to rub the red mark on the top of his hand. He smiled over at her, looking over at Dujun as if to give her the hint to introduce herself.

“Oh sorry, I’m Youjin, but you can call me Jin.” She bowed deeply to the raven-haired giant.  
“Kim Dujun.” He said shortly curtly bowing.

“Hey, let’s bring your stuff upstairs,” Seokmin said pulling at her arm. She bowed one more time to the older couple awkwardly tripping over her own hanbok. Seokmin luckily catching her and helping her up. She gave him a shy grateful smile, scurrying over to grab her bag.

“Oh my God,” She hissed when Seokmin was showing her upstairs, “I totally almost fell on my face.” He was still laughing at her clumsiness.  
“It’s okay, I caught you. Plus my sister loved you,” He smiled proudly.  
“But her boyfriend… Dujun was it? He didn’t seem to like me very much,” She frowned.  
“He comes off really cold, but he warms up to strangers,” He pushed open the door that was decorated with posters, “you can stay here. I’ll sleep on the couch,”

The room was small, dark when the curtains were closed, but full of light after he pushed them back. There was a large bed in the right corner, next to the closet and a small cabinet. The cabinet tops were decorated with little trinkets and photo frames.

“Aww…” She looked at the family photos he had, smiling down at how happy they looked in the images, “this is your room?”  
“Mhmm,” He nodded, watching her take everything in.  
“You can’t sleep on the couch, please let me,” she begged.  
“Nope,” he shook his head. They debated the issue for all of five more minutes, but she gave in when he started pleading her with big eyes.

“Let’s go meet my dad, Jin,” dropping her bag unceremoniously on his bed she let him tug her back down the stairs. Laughing when he almost tripped over his own feet, holding him around the waist so he wouldn’t fall over.

If she closed her eyes for a moment, she could just about imagine it. If Seokmin actually loved her just as much as she was crazy for him. But she remembered she couldn’t be selfish. She couldn’t wish for something more, because everything she wanted was right here, but she wanted to be selfish. She wanted her feelings reciprocated. She wanted to have him to herself, utterly and completely.

“Be careful, I don’t want you hurting yourself,” she told him worried. He slung his arm around her shoulders.  
“Don’t worry Noona, I’m not as clumsy as you are.”  
“HEY!”  
They were laughing when they walked into the kitchen where the four others were gathered laughing over a story Mrs. Lee was telling.

“Hey,” he greeted casually dragging her over to join the family. “Dad, this is Jin. You haven’t met her yet.”  
“Sir,” she bowed deeply to the older man dressed in a slate gray and navy hanbok. He kept his mouth in a firm line nodding and not bowing in return. Intimidating.

“Like Jin from BTS, Dad,” Mina joked doing the dance move to one of BTS’ releases.  
“Haha yeah like that,” she laughed. Their mother continued with her story about a rude driver on the road. But the topic of conversation soon changed when Mina started asking Jin questions.

“So Jin-ah, since when have you and Seokmin been dating?” Mina smirked looking pointedly down at their intertwined hands.  
“What?” She said surprised the smile disappearing off her face. She purposefully unlinked their hands for effect, “no, Unnie, haha we’re not… I mean I…”

“We’re not together, Mina.” Seokmin cut in saving Jin from her stumbling over words.

“WHAT?” Mina shrieked. Their parents attention was turned to the conversation as well.  
“No, she’s just my best friend.” He gestured.  
“Yeah I work with him.” She gestured, “I’m their group’s lead stylist.”  
“Oh, it’s just Seokmin said...” Mina began, but her younger brother cut her off.  
“Mina.” He threatened and she went quiet suddenly. Jin looked confused up at him asking a silent question. He shook his head comforting her unease with a smile.

“SO what do you think about Seokmin’s fashion sense? Since you are their stylist,” Mrs. Lee changed the topic.  
“Hmmm it could use some work,” she said honestly, proud when everyone even Seokmin’s father laughed at the dig, “but that’s why I’m here to give them all pointers and help them along the way.”  
“Jin-Noona is a certified genius, you should’ve seen this sweater she made.” Seokmin made an exaggerated facial expression that she couldn’t help but giggle at.  
“Oh,” surprised she smiled delighted he remembered that.  
“I brought it with me to wear, want to see?” He asked like an adorably lost puppy.  
“You kept it?” She asked more surprised that he kept it, even after the music video shooting ended.  
“Of course I kept it, Noona. I wanted to show everyone!” He said as optimistically as always. Getting up he ran upstairs to grab the garment.

“Honestly, you two are just best friends?” Mina snorted sarcastically. Her jaw dropped at the older’s words.  
“MINA!” Mrs. Lee hissed scolding her eldest child. She blushed not knowing what else to say, and caught the eye of Seokmin’s father. He looked at her through squinted eyes and she gulped feeling as if she was under interrogation.

“HERE!” Seokmin stumbled down the stairs luckily not falling. “Aish…” he hit his shoulder on the stairwell.  
“Oh be careful!” She called out hoping he wasn’t hurt.  
“I’m fine, I’m fine. Here it is!” He whipped out the piece of knitwear from behind his back. Displaying it as if it were the most precious thing in the world.  
“Wow, Jin you made this?” Mrs. Lee smiled taking the fabric in her hand and passing it around.  
“Mhmm, it was for my graduation project from university.” She nodded, beaming with pride on the inside.  
“Do you know what I had to do for my grad project?” Everyone looked up at Mina expectantly, “I had to dissect a freaking cow!”  
“Oh my god.” Jin shrieked as everyone laughed at the expressions of the oldest sibling. Mina explained how she was a zoology and anatomy double major, and how she was going for her doctorate. It was extremely impressive. She had met her boyfriend at university, but he was older than her and graduated sooner.

It was approaching 2pm when Mrs. Lee asked someone to run down to the store to get ingredients for dinner, so Jin volunteered. She hadn’t seen around the small town yet. 

She changed out of her hanbok and into a sweatshirt, jeans and slippers shivering at the crisp autumn air when she stepped outside.

“Hey! Wait up!”  
“Seokmin?” She looked over her shoulder to see he changed out of his hanbok too.  
“I’m coming too,”

So that’s how she found herself bundled up in fabric, walking alongside the idol singer, arms linked as they stuck by each other’s side for warmth. Heading down to the closest store which was on the other end of the beautiful crystal lake that the village surrounded.

They walked in a comfortable silence, enjoying the view of the scenery.

“Your hometown is incredible.” She commented, stopping for a duck and a trail of ducklings crossing their walking path. “You must miss it…”  
“Yeah I do sometimes, but when I come out here it’s nice to have that escape. You know?”  
“Mhm.” Humming in agreement she watched a flock of birds fly overhead. The wonderful sounds of nature and animal life filling the silence. “Was it difficult for you to offer to bring me here?”  
“Huh?”  
“It’s like… it’s like bringing your work life home with you. This is your special space to decompress and relax, and having someone to remind you of the stresses of daily life,”  
“Noona,” sighing he stepped in front of her and gripped her cheeks in his hands, “I’d be more stressed out worrying about you being alone all week.”  
“Oh,” looking up he was still holding her face between his cupped hands. She pouted up at him.  
“And no by the way.” He smiled, reluctantly taking a step back and letting his hands drop back to his sides, “It was easy to ask you to stay with us. Now let’s go buy everything my mom requested.”  
“Mhmm.” She nodded a little taken aback, but also thankful. She was so thankful to be in his life, she couldn’t put it into words.

They got to the store only a few moments later, it was small but it had most of what they needed.  
“And Kimchi…” she read having Seokmin toss it into the basket. “And cabbage leaves.”  
“Cabbage leaves?” He pulled a disgusted face.  
“That’s what it says here,” she read.  
“I hate cabbage…” he commented displeased, but obeying his mother’s orders and throwing cabbage in with the rest of the ingredients.

They paid, and each carried a bag until Seokmin stubbed his toe on a rock, from which she carried both grocery bags and he limped along propped using her shoulder as a crutch.

“We’re home,” he called.  
“Okay bring the bags into the kitchen.” His mom yelled back.

“Go sit and rest your foot,” She told him quietly pointing to the couch. He protested at first but she gave him a stern look and he went to sit down on the couch.

“Right here Mrs. Lee.” She smiled dropping the two grocery bags on the kitchen counter and helping unpack them.  
“Seokmin didn’t help you?” The lady scowled about to go find and scold him, but she just denied it quickly.  
“He hurt his foot on the way back, I told him to go rest.” She explained.  
“Ah.” Mrs. Lee just looked at her fondly. “You’re such a good Noona to that boy.”  
“Thank you, Mrs. Lee.” She bowed politely again helping to unpack the groceries from the bags. 

Once they were finished working in peace it was mid afternoon the light shining bright white overhead.

“Do you want to come sit and talk with me on the balcony?” Mrs. Lee offered gesturing towards the sliding glass window.  
“Yes Ma’am, I mean Mrs. Lee.” She said embarrassed following the kind lady out to the terrace. They sat in lawn chairs on the balcony overlooking the lake and the forests.

“Seokmin didn’t tell me much about your family, and I didn’t want to press you, but are you comfortable with sharing… I mean…” 

Mrs. Lee had very similar mannerisms to Seokmin. How he’d talk so fast until he got lost and couldn’t find the right words to complete his sentence.

“Of course.” She nodded, explaining about her dreams as a child. Where she grew up and how her family reacted to her wanting to go to university. “I saw them this morning when Seokie helped me to drop off flowers and food at my family’s shrine.”  
“It’s alright,” Mrs. Lee comforted her warmly when she started crying, tears running down her cheeks.

“I just have to say…” she rubbed her eyes, “your son is one of the kindest, funniest, most talented people in the world.” She beamed up at the mother. “I’m so lucky I met him.”

“Youjin-ssi,” Mrs. Lee began saying her words slowly this time. “Jin-ah, you’re so brave.” At those words she lost her composure, tears spilling over her eyes and running down her cheeks.

“I know you must be going through so much right now.” And those words from a motherly figure like Mrs. Lee made her feel a billion times better, “you’re so good to Seokmin, I’m sure anyone can see that you’re a beautiful person. Inside and out.”  
“Thank you, Mrs. Lee.” She rubbed her eyes.

“I just need to know, Jin.”  
“What is it Mrs. Lee?” Asking, her nerves returned.  
“I need to know your intentions with my son. I promise I won’t tell a soul.”  
“I…” She stuttered looking around to make sure the door was closed and that no one was outside with them. “I really…” choking on her own words, it was hard to admit aloud, “I really love him,” she smiled to herself after she finally got the words out.

“Ah.” The older lady grinned over at her, “then why haven’t you told him so?”  
“He likes another girl, Mrs. Lee.” She sighed.  
“He does?” His mother seemed incredibly surprised.  
“He does.” She nodded gravely, “so I can't tell him see. But yes, I really really love him.”  
“I sure hope he forgets about this other girl. You two are perfect together.” His mother sighed.  
“Eomoni!” She shrieked, when the older lady started giggling. “Oh I’m sorry, it just slipped I…”  
“No, please.” Mrs. Lee grinned the biggest grin Jin had ever seen. “Eomoni suits me perfectly.” Winking good naturedly.

“Thank you, for letting me talk with you, I wish you the best Jin and I’m sure we’ll get to talk plenty more in the future.”  
“I hope so too, Mrs. Lee.”


	25. Escaping Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope is dangerous and uncontrollable. Jin hopes for something.

Mrs. Lee said she needed to go start cooking dinner, so Jin went to go check on Seokmin’s foot. Finding the idol asleep on the couch, tossing and turning uncomfortably with his foot. Hearing him snoring she knew he was fast asleep, propping up the foot with a towel so it was elevated and warming up a blanket to lay over him.

After doing so she looked down at how content he seemed, committing the image to memory. So peaceful and beautiful.

She reached into the depths of her bag for the book she had brought. Sitting up on top of Seokmin’s bed and opening the curtains so the light made it easier to read.

“Noona?”  
“Ah why are you walking on that?” She looked down at his foot that actually seemed quite normal.  
“It feels fine now,” he grinned demonstrating by rolling his ankle around.  
“That’s a relief.” She smiled noticing how he was just awkwardly standing in the doorway. “OH I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sit on your bed… I…”  
“No no, it’s fine, just scoot over,” he laughed plopping down next her, trying to look at the book she was reading.

“What’s it about?” He asked, resting his chin on her shoulder. She tensed up, but relaxed after a moment of getting used to the contact.  
“It’s a biography about a politician.” She explained showing him the page she was on. “I don’t read very much, but when I have the time it’s a good way to decompress.”  
“You’re starting to sound like Wonwoo…” He rolled his eyes. She laughed hitting him on the arm and making him flinch. 

“Do you want me to read aloud?” She looked over to see him nodding. “Alright, I’ll try to catch you up,”

They had only gotten a fifth of the way through the biography, when Seokmin commented.

“That seems like a very sad life,” he frowned his eyebrows creasing. She hated to see him frown.  
“That’s why we’ve got to be thankful for all the happiness in our own lives, right?” She ran her fingers over the crease lines in his forehead. Smoothing then out. “If you’re going to get wrinkles, they might as well be smile lines.”  
“You’re right,” he agreed beaming. She bookmarked and shut the book. Just wanting to sit with him and enjoy his presence. Maybe talk, maybe just stare at his absolutely godly arms that she might’ve been a little obsessed with.

“Everyone here is so nice.” She whispered out quietly for only the two of them to hear.  
“Yeah I got lucky.” He nodded, pushing his chestnut colored bangs out of his eyes.  
“I’m tired.”  
“Me too.”  
“Is it okay if I try to take a nap before dinner?”  
“Do you mind if I join you?”  
She smiled throwing a blanket over the both of them.  
“Keep warm.” She told him before letting sleep invade her thoughts.

***

“Oh? Did I interrupt something…” Mina’s sharp voice awoke her from her drowsy sleep.  
“Mina shhh Jin is asleep.” Seokmin’s voice replied. Jin was about to open her eyes and get up, but Mina’s next words made her freeze up again.  
“Seokmin, you’re such a fool. You’ve got to tell her sooner or later or else someone will come in and snatch her away,”

Maybe just maybe she let herself hope for just a second that he really did like her. Or maybe he harvested even the tiniest bit of unplatonic feelings for her. She’d take whatever she could get.

“Mina, I said shut up.” Seokmin said sharply, “she’s too good to me.” He stroked her side with his thumb gently.  
“Seokmin, just bring her down for dinner. You two can figure things out in the morning.”

She pretended to awaken when Seokmin gently shook her.  
“Hey.” She blinked her eyes open.  
“Hi. It’s dinner time, in case you’re hungry,”  
“Oh, yeah we should probably change into hanbok?” Suggesting already getting up from the bed when he pulled her back by the waist.  
“It’s so nice and warm in here though,” he pouted.  
“Seokie,” She whined, “hurry up!”

She grabbed her hanbok and before he could grab her around the waist again she darted into the bathroom and changed.

“Ready?” He asked holding out his arm.  
“Why do you act like a gentleman when you’re wearing a hanbok? But every other time you just squeeze me half to death?” She deadpanned, “maybe I should make you wear a hanbok 24/7. I am your stylist.”  
“Harsh Noona.” He laughed a staccato laugh, “if you wanted a gentleman you’d have picked Jisoo.”  
“Picked Jisoo?” She raised an eyebrow, pinching his waist, “I never picked you, I just got stuck being your best friend.”  
“You’re right about that, Noona.”

They sat down at the table, Mina and Dujun taking a seat after them. The dinner was amazing, the food was delicious, and all six residents of the house were lively. She refused the alcohol they tried to give her, saying she wasn’t drinking. Instead opting for a small cup of orange juice.

She felt bad when Seokmin tucked himself in on the uncomfortable couch, she had pleaded for them to switch, but he was stubborn and refused. But being alone in Seokmin’s room she couldn’t fall asleep.

Making up the excuse that she was thirsty or hungry she snuck into the kitchen as quietly as possible. Filling a glass with water and standing in the doorframe watching the tossing and turning sleeping figure fondly.

“Ahem.” Looking up surprised, she saw Seokmin’s father sitting in the high backed armchair watching her out of the corner of his eye.  
“Sir, I didn’t see you there,” she said softly, careful to not wake up the sleeping idol. “I just thought Seokmin looked awfully uncomfortable here…”  
“Sit.” the imposing man commanded, and she nodded sitting in her best posture in the chair across from him, “Sunji told me everything.” She assumed Sunji was Mrs. Lee’s first name.

“Ah,” She just nodded not sure what to say.  
“You better take good care of Seokmin, he’ll be annoying at times,”  
“Sir?” She asked confused.  
“You love him, right?”  
“Yes, of course.”  
“Then take good care of him. I’m glad you found each other. He needs someone like you,”  
“Yes sir,” She bowed deeply in her seat already flustered. “I promise.”  
“Now wake him up and bring him back to his room, he needs some sleep.”  
She shook him awake, and hoisted his limp form up from the couch.

“You’re going to have to help me walk a little, Seokie,” She whispered nudging his side so he could trudge along beside her.

“Goodnight Mr. Lee,” She told the older man, bowing as best as she could. He just smiled over at her nodding in acknowledgment, his eyes turned into tiny crescents when he smiled.

She dragged Seokmin all the way to his bed, tossing him onto the mattress and tucking him into the sheets.

“Sleep well Seokie.” She whispered about to leave the room.  
“Jin Noona…” He said still stuck in a sleepy stupor, “I’m awake now. I can’t fall back asleep until you read me more of your boring book.”  
“Oh?” She asked surprised. He nodded sitting upright and flicking the light on by his bed. His messy hair was fluffy and his eyes were slightly swollen, but he was adorable nonetheless. She sat at the corner of his bed, holding her book out.

“Noona, I won’t be able to hear you from all the way over there,”  
“Fine.” She gave him a look that made him chuckle. Patting the spot on the bed next to him, she scooted over.  
“I don’t want you to be cold,” he lifted up the sheets so she could shimmy inside.  
“Okay, does everything suit you now?” She asked sarcastically.  
“Not yet.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her gently. “Okay.”

“Let… let me get started.” She nodded shakily taking in a breath, unable to make eye contact with the smiling idol. It felt like if she really imagined it, if they would be together in every sense of the word, they would be golden.

***

She bookmarked the page where she felt her eyes dropping low, and her shoulder sagging.

“Let’s get some rest, Noona.” He whispered, flicking off the table lamp, and putting her book next to him for safekeeping.  
“Are you sure… you’re okay with us…” she blinked with exhaustion.  
“Rest.” He held her close to his chest as she drifted off.  
“Okay.” She sighed giving in to the heavy tug of sleep, falling asleep to the steady rhythm of his heart. Her feelings could wait another day.


	26. Reaching Perfection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin discovers her own perfection.

The morning light was what woke her up, spilling past the shutters and into the small room cluttered with memories.

She was warm all over, and relaxed. The first time she’d felt this relaxed in ages.

“Oh you’re awake,”  
“Mmm…” she rubbed at her bleary eyes, blinking them open and finding herself laying on top of someone. Head resting on their chest, the steady thump of their heartbeat reminding her of safety and comfort.

“Good morning,”  
“Seokmin?” She asked confused until she remembered where she was. “Oh, good morning.”  
“I was afraid if I moved I’d wake you,”  
“I’m sorry.” She blushed pink scrambling off of him.  
“Don’t apologize. I’m sure no one is up yet, do you want to get outside for a walk?”  
“Okay.” She nodded, “just let me get changed first.”

She was ready in a few minutes, disregarding her makeup, and combing out her hair so it didn’t look like a complete mess. She wore a long sleeve dress that reached her ankles, in a warm sunset color. Wearing boots and a scarf she was ready to greet the morning air.

“You always outdress me.” He complained, wearing a down jacket and some sweats.  
“I’m your stylist, what do you expect?” She retorted laughing. They walked side by side along the same stretch of lake. It was beautiful, the serenity of it all.

“Is it alright if I stop and take a picture?” She asked softly, stopping in front of a wooden bench. He just nodded, sitting down as she walked forward toward the lake taking out her phone and snapping pictures. Some of the scenery, some of Seokmin. All just for memory sake.

Eventually she sat down next to him on the bench, letting out a long sigh.

“It’s beautiful.” He commented.   
“Mhmm.”  
“What does it remind you of?” He asked her gesturing outwards.  
“Me?” Humming she thought of an emotion to pair with the picturesque surroundings, “it reminds me of… serenity and peace.” She admitted.  
“It reminds me of beauty… and love,” He gestured, and her heart gave a familiar clench. She sighed looking out across the water.

“I don’t see why you don’t confess to her.”  
“Huh?”  
“Your crush at work whoever she is,” Pouting unable to mask her own emotions.  
“I don’t see why you don’t confess to him.”  
“I… can’t, I told you he likes someone else.” She shook her head, blushing pink.  
“Well you can forget I said this if you want, but I’m pretty sure any guy would give up their silly crush for the chance to date you.”  
“What did you just say?” She shrieked looking at the younger surprised. 

The first words that spilled out of his mouth were so familiar, too familiar.

“That any guy would be…” he stuttered out confused.  
“Before that.” She urged, eyes wide. It could’ve been coincidence that those words were the same words on her Valentine’s and Birthday card. Her heart was racing as she clenched her fists in her lap.

“You can forget I said this if you… if you want? It’s a habit, I say it too much when I’m nervous.” He tilted his head to the side repeating himself, shrugging it off.  
“Oh it was probably nothing, sorry.” She smiled under her scarf, unable to help herself. Her hope was getting dangerous by now. If he was the one who wrote the cards, and gave her the gift then maybe she actually wasn’t alone in this.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, watching a bird spread its wings and take flight over the surface of the crystal water. He put his hand over hers, and she turned her palm upwards so their fingers could lace together. Her heart was so full of hope it hurt.

Abandoning watching the view she found the habit of just staring at Seokmin’s side profile. Intently observing every detail until he noticed her doing so. She loved him so much, it was so difficult to be so close to him. She didn’t even notice she was leaning in closer until his eyes flickered down to meet hers.

“What are you doing?” He laughed.  
“What does it look like?” She asked sarcastically, playing her advancements off casually.  
“It looks like you’re trying to kiss me.” He raised an eyebrow.  
“Well what if I am?” She challenged her gaze drawn down to his pink lips.  
“I’m not moving.” He shrugged and didn’t lean back. She didn’t know what she was doing when her hand came up to caress his jaw. She knew this was all wrong, you don’t just kiss your friend that you secretly have feelings for. 

When their lips met, she tentatively kissed him. One thousand sensations running through her body at the contact. All of them felt so so good. 

She kissed him deeper until he broke his trance and kissed her back. Moving in a heated mess, she hadn’t ever felt like this before. 

The shock of a loud crow’s caw made her realize just what she was doing.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” She jumped from her seat breaking them apart instantly. He sighed a long sigh that she couldn’t read the emotions of.

“Jin,” He looked up eyes filled with exhaustion and confusion, “you know we’ve both been ignoring this for way too long. What the hell are we? What am I to you?”

She gulped knowing she couldn’t use an excuse anymore, maybe she could, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to be honest. She finally wanted to tell him the truth. She gulped knowing that the words couldn’t stop falling from her mouth.

“I love you Seokmin.” She whispered her voice growing louder and more confident with each word, “I love you so fucking much. You’re so talented and strong and every time you perform I’m blown away, but you’re also the kindest and funniest person ever, like when you constantly cheer everyone up just by being present. I’ve never met anyone like you.” She didn’t dare look up, “you’re perfection to me, Seokmin.” 

She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t make eye contact. Too embarrassed and ashamed. The dead silence that hung between them was telling that rejection would come next.

“I’ll leave.” She stood up, burying her face in her scarf tears threatening to spill from her eyes. 

Turning around back towards the house she tried to take a step forward. But in one swift motion, Seokmin stood up and grabbed her wrist.

“Noona, you read the letters I sent you.” He said, his voice sending chills down her spine, “I love you. I’ve been in love with you from the very beginning when you almost ran me over. The unforgettable Noona in the beat up Toyota Prius. I… I love you, you’re the girl who I love, and I want you to be mine forever and ever because I fucking love you Jin.”

“This can’t be real…” She stuttered eyes cloudy with tears, “I’m dreaming.”  
“You’re not dreaming.” He laughed a familiar emotion in his eye. The one that she could never place.  
“Prove it!” She shook her head, “You’re YOU and I’m just plain… me and this can’t be reality…”  
“Stop talking bullshit about me being some celebrity.” He frowned sitting her on the brick wall, separating the sidewalk path from the beach, “you’re perfect, you’re more perfect than anyone I’ve ever met. Don’t ever doubt, because it’s true.”  
“Then prove it…” she whispered repeating her earlier statement of defiance. Staring up into his eyes, caged in by his arms.

With her whispered words, his lips were on hers again his hand holding her cheek, her fingers tangled in his messy hair not letting go.

He was a rough kisser, which surprised her because she assumed he would be as gentle as he was with everything else in life. But this unexpected aggression was so fucking hot it was thrilling to see a completely different side of him.

He moved his lips so naturally against hers. Whining slightly when he bit or pulled, as she was forced to be the submissive one constantly giving in to his actions. With him sucking especially attentively on her bottom lip and digging his canine teeth into the soft tissue, she unwillingly let out a small moan of pleasure.

“Do that again.” He panted separating them only by centimeters. His usual soft voice was commanding and raspy.  
“How about you make me?” She smirked when his expression turned dark, pressing them even closer together when their lips met again. This time he went further, slipping his wet tongue into her mouth and forcing another hardly concealed moan out of her.

She was lightheaded, turned on, and a complete mess. Needy for more. It was incredible how he made her feel, she’d kissed before and it had never felt this perfect. 

“Seokie,” She whispered against his lips, “what are we?”  
“We’re two fools in love.” He smiled back, lessening his aggression as they made out languidly and slowly until they were out of breath and couldn’t continue. 

“Jin,” He panted slightly, holding her hand in his as he gently stroked her fingers and played with the silver ring on her finger. “I’m glad my love isn’t unrequited anymore.”  
“And thank you for the Spider-Man doll.” She giggled chastely kissing him once more just because she could now.  
“It’s an action figure.” He jokingly corrected.  
“What’s the difference?”  
“I don’t know, the guy in the store started yelling at me when I called it a doll so I’ve learned my lesson.”  
“You’re adorable.” She said honestly laughing when he blushed and shook his head. Still flustered about receiving compliments.

“I love you.” She told him, standing up from her seat on the cobblestone wall. “But we should get back now.”  
“Do we have to?” He whined.  
“Seokie.” She rolled her eyes, “we can’t just stay out here all day. I’m starving let’s go get some breakfast.”  
“Fine.” He pecked her on the lips one more time before lacing their hands together. “Let’s go Noona.”

She couldn’t believe it. Walking back down the riverside trail, it felt like her whole world had been destroyed and rebuilt. He loved her… it was hard to wrap her head around, and yet she was happy. She was so infinitely happy. It felt like nothing had changed, but everything changed. It felt like somehow she’d found perfection and she’d never let it go.


	27. Loving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goshhh 200 hits? I hope you enjoyed the confession (finally), it only took like 26 chapters. Thanks for reading!!!
> 
> If you don’t like softcore rated m content then you can just skip this chapter, it’s mostly fluff anyways.

“So you two were gone for a long time this morning…” Mina slid over to her side on the couch, “did it happen?” She joked turning Jin’s attention up from her book.  
“Unnie,” Jin blushed flustered bookmarking the page she was on.  
“Oh my god IT DID, you know I was just joking right?” The older shrieked.  
“Unnie!” She pouted.  
“I’m so proud of you! Who confessed first?”  
“Uh technically I did…” She squeaked nervously.  
“You’re such a man!” Mina said it like it was a compliment, so she decided to take it as one, “I for one am relieved that it finally happened.”  
“Finally?”  
“Seokmin had been telling me about you for months! Everything he told me just convinced me he was whipped for you.” The older bounced up and down on the couch hopping around like an excited rabbit.  
“He did?” She smiled looking down at her feet embarrassed.  
“Mhmm. Just one thing, if you ever break his heart I’ll kill you.” Mina hissed her whole demeanor changed. Threatening suddenly, and scary.

“How do you know he’s not going to be the one breaking my heart?” She retorted already scared out of her socks of the tiny lady.  
“Trust me, from the way he talks about you he won’t be the one letting you go anytime soon.” Mina laughed loudly. Dujun came into the living room, sitting on the other side of his girlfriend, and cuddling up to her side.  
“What are you talking about?” He asked softly.  
“Oh just Dokyeomie, Honey.” Mina patted his cheek affectionately. He nodded in understanding.

“I’m going to go take a nap. Already so tired from everything that happened today.” She suggested giving the couple some privacy and bowing to the olders when she stood up. 

She sat in Seokmin’s desk chair looking out the window across the river. 

Dujun and Mina were the exact opposites of each other in every literal aspect. They balanced each other out beautifully. She wondered if one entity could exist without the other. It was a beautiful sort of love.

“Hey, there you are.” Seokmin walked into his room holding two mugs of some steaming liquid.  
“Oh, thank you!” she took one of the mugs from his outstretched hands, “but what is it?” She asked eyes aglow with curiosity.  
“Instant hot coco…”  
“Oh wow!” She exclaimed happily taking a sip but almost spitting it back out because of how hot it was. “Yum…” She fanned her mouth. He laughed at her, sitting across on the bed.  
“I thought you’d like it, just be careful it’s hot.”  
“You couldn’t have told me that before I burned my tongue?” She deadpanned. He laughed in his unique way, mouthing a small ‘sorry’.

“I love chocolate.” She nodded taking another small sip enjoying the taste in her mouth.  
“Of course.” He smiled, “only chocolate for Jin-Noona.”  
“That sounds like it should be a saying.”  
“It’s practically Pledis law by now.” He quipped taking a sip from his mug and gently exclaiming a small ouch because it was too hot as well.  
“HAHA.” She just cackled, “you’ve been really clumsy this week. Like more than usual,”  
“Yeah, I almost face planted after tripping on a shoe this morning. Maybe it was just nerves.” He shook his head.  
“Nerves?” She laughed, “Why would you be nervous?”  
“Well to be honest I was planning on confessing this weekend. I was so fucking scared, I had already told basically everyone in the family. Even Dujun-hyung… I asked for advice.”  
“What did Dujun-ssi tell you?” She was curious now.  
“He told me what NOT to do.” Seokmin sighed,  
laughing “like he said don’t run away mid confession.”  
“Well that’s not very good advice.” She rolled her eyes, finishing up the steaming mug of liquid and setting it down on his bedside table.  
“Yeah, but that’s what he did that when he was confessing to my sister.”  
“Really?” She laughed aloud.  
“Yeah Mina told us all about it. She found him locked in a bathroom later that day.” He was smiling his wide eye smile that she adored.  
“Why do I actually believe that happened?” She shook her head in disbelief, shoulders shaking with laughter.

“No one gave very good advice. Except probably my dad.”  
“You told your dad too?”   
“He kind of already knew by how much I mentioned your visit over the phone.” He rubbed his neck sheepishly, and Jin knew it couldn’t have been more endearing. “He said that I should be honest with myself, if I even had a chance. I didn’t know, I didn’t know how to approach it because we’ve been great as just friends.”  
“What if becoming something more damaged our friendship?” She finished his sentence knowing the feeling of the familiar apprehensions.  
“Yeah...” He stared at her with warmth. It comforted her to know he wanted to stay as best friends at the base of it all. Because that’s what she wanted too.  
“You don’t have to worry about that.” She shook her head reaching out and just linking their pinkies.  
“Promise?”  
“I promise.” She said without hesitation.

***

At the dinner table Mrs. Lee kept sending her and Seokmin sideways glances whenever they’d share a smile or kick each other under the table.

“What is it with you two? Have something to share?” Her voice was curious, but Jin knew she was happy about something.

“Uh… Jin and I are together?” He suggested. The whole table erupted in noise and questions and cheers. She laughed at all of it, loving the way Seokmin looked at her. Maybe he looked at her like that all the time and she only now had an emotion to pair with it. Love.

After dinner they all watched a movie on the couch, snuggled up to Seokmin’s side she laughed whenever he screeched at a jump scare.  
“It’s not that scary, Seokie.” She whispered to him trying to get him to stop being so afraid. He hid behind her until it was over.

The family slowly excused themselves, until her and the idol were the only ones left watching the movie.  
“If you want I can sleep on the couch tonight…” she whispered, careful not to bother any of the others.  
“Jin.” He frowned shaking his head, “c’mon.” He wrapped his arms around her scooping her up from the couch. Carrying her towards his bedroom.

“I can walk you know,” she deadpanned when he set her down gently on top of the comforter.  
“I know.” He grinned closing the door and shutting the blinds. Then flipping off his slippers at the foot of the bed. She crawled over so she was back hugging him.

“I can do this now, right?” She checked pressing light kisses to his cheek and jawline. He just hummed in compliance. Biting down playfully on the skin on his neck, she laughed when he sat straight up in shock.

“I can do this now, right?” He turned around pressing her up against the headboard, lips barely touching teasing her. She just nodded, leaning forward and sealing their lips together. He tasted like sickly sweet honey from whatever dessert they had at dinner and she loved it. He smelled like vanilla and linen when she took a breath, the scent making her dizzy alone.

“I love you so much.” She whispered, the kiss turning from chaste to rough in a matter of seconds. He pressed deeper, forcing her to wrap her legs around his torso as she submitted to his actions. It was like the whole world melted away and all she could feel was him.

His warm hands that she’d held so many times before became more adventurous, one playing at the hem of her shirt, the other gripping her neck. She vaguely knew where this was going, but she didn’t mind.

“Shit.” He hissed his hips involuntarily jerking forward at everytime they came in contact, “I’m sorry…” he whimpered.  
“Mmm,” She hummed, languidly rolling her hips against his grinding into him, “I don’t mind.”  
“Fuck…” he hissed trailing kisses down to her neck. She wanted to give him everything she had and more.

“Let me help you…” She slid her hand from gripping his hair down his chest and abs fingering at the waistband of his pants and palming at him through his sweatpants until he moaned into her skin.  
“Stop.” He told her suddenly, catching her hand and holding it above her head. She panicked, wondering if she did something wrong.

“This is fucking amazing, but I don’t want to worry about taking it to fast with you.”  
“Hm?” She blinked once then twice not expecting those to be the words he chose.  
“I want to take you on a date, and get you flowers, and show you how much you mean to me before we… you know.” He cleared his throat.  
“Before we fuck?” She asked bluntly.  
“Yeah, before we fuck.” He coughed out violently.   
“That sounds nice.” She nodded, grinning at his sweetness.  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah.” She smiled, “for as sexy as you are you’re sure sweet as hell, Seokie.” Kissing him again until they were cuddling, “but are you sure you don’t need to take care of…” she looked down seeing the obvious bulge in his pants.  
“No,” he winced, “I’ll just sleep it off.”  
“Okay.” She nodded, kissing him again but gently this time. “Goodnight.”  
“Get some rest.” He nodded, protectively throwing an arm around her and holding her at a comfortable distance.

***

It was their last day of the holiday and Jin could honestly say it’s been her best week off ever.

“Here’s your… what is this?” He threw a leather woven belt over to her, both packing their bags to return to Seoul.  
“Belt, it’s a belt.” She corrected him tucking it in the suitcase gently.  
“You own some weird stuff…” he remarked.  
“It’s all in the name of fashion.” She said dramatically.

“We still have three days left of vacation when we return to Seoul, do you have any plans?” He asked.  
“Plans?” She scrunched up her nose thinking, “maybe do some alterations? Visit the set for the next music video filming.” She shrugged.  
“There’s nowhere in the city that you’d like to go?”  
“Hmmm maybe somewhere that serves good Chinese food?”  
“That’s random.” He snorted.  
“I don’t know, what do YOU want to do?” She asked pointedly.  
“Hmmm I really need to get my haircut,” he mused, she just bent over laughing.  
“I guess we could do both then.” She smiled ruffling his chestnut hair.  
“Perfect.” He agreed, zipping up his bag firmly and throwing it back to the ground. She did the same, surprised when he grabbed her around the waist and just held her tightly in a comfortable backhug.

They stayed like that for a few minutes until he brushed his hands up her side and she let out an obvious shriek.  
“You’re ticklish?” He asked eyes wide.  
“No I’m not.” She shook her head.  
“You are!” He laughed making her laugh uncontrollably by running his fingers along her sides.  
“Cut it out…” She said through giggles breaking away from his hug and running towards the other end of the room. He chased her catching up almost instantly. Tickling her sides until she collapsed on the bed eyes tearing up as she laughed.  
“Seokie… stop please…” she gasped still laughing.  
“You laugh weird.” He smiled stopping his fingers from causing her any more torture and just looking at her affectionately.  
“Hey!” She pouted.  
“It’s a good weird. That way if you ever get lost just laugh and I’ll be able to pick you out of a crowd easily.”  
“Thanks a lot.” She deadpanned, smiling when he kissed her lightly. Pinning her to the bed.

“DOKYEOMIE, JIN! Dinner’s ready!” Mina’s voice rang through the house.

“Dokyeomie?” Jin laughed leaning back from the kiss.  
“Mina always calls me that.” He shook his head, a slight smile ghosting across his face, “but never call me that.” He warned eyes turning into small crescents when he smiled.  
“Dokyeomieee!” She said as cutely as she could. He visibly cringed.  
“Noona.” He frowned pressing a kiss to her slightly chapped lips.  
“Fine.” She mumbled through the kiss, “I love you, Seokie.”  
“Love you too, Jin.”


	28. Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin’s vacation ends, and Youngshin submits his three weeks notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo! So the truth about Youngshin, I based him off a real person. If you’ve heard of Holland (the singer who released “Neverland”) then Youngshin was the actor in his debut music video. He also has an Instagram, and is still studying at university: @y_shine_s

They left early the next morning for the hour long drive back into the city. Jin wished his entire family a saddened goodbye. Mina hugged the life out of her saying that they had to hang out sometime.

“Back to Seoul,” He buckled his seat belt.  
“Back to work.” She nodded already planning out the details of their next comeback. Writing things down on the sheets of papers lining her notebook. They sang along to both their favorite songs driving down the peaceful roads back to the city.

“So do you want to tell the others? I mean I’d be fine with it if you did but…” Seokmin sighed seeing the city buildings loom in the near distance.  
“Hm?” She asked, “we don’t have to tell anyone.”  
“You’re okay with that?” He asked eyes wide at her suggestion.  
“Oh of course.” She nodded, scribbling something mindlessly down, “I know it would be really complicated if they knew, especially your manager.”  
“Thank you,” he sighed out in somewhat relief.  
“Oh don’t frown Seokie,” She smoothed out the lines in his forehead with a simple touch of her hand, “smile lines look better.”

When they reached her apartment it was nearing lunchtime.

“We could order in?” She suggested flipping off her shoes in the entryway and letting him bring in his luggage.  
“Chicken?” He asked hopefully.  
“Fine, but we’re getting pizza next.” Making him pinky promise she shook their fingers together before pulling him in for a short kiss.  
“You’ve got a deal.” He smiled. It was impossible to not have your breath taken away by his smile. She would never get tired of it. Ever.  
“Drop your stuff in my room, and I’ll put on a movie.” She suggested gesturing to his suitcase laying in the front entryway.

Flipping on an American action film with subtitles she ordered chicken through the phone.

“This is nice,” he hummed leaning on her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She nodded cuddling into his side. Happily realizing that their dynamic didn’t change much at all, only with a little more skinship, kissing and a lot more comfort. He still made her heart race, and she still thought he was the most perfect being in the universe, but this time around she could actually tell him that.

“I love you.” She whispered. Sometimes she just told him to hear the way he reacted to the words, cheeks turning red and eyes lighting up.  
“I love you too.” He’d always reply.

***

They spent the next day enjoying each other’s company, their last day of vacation. 

“So I made you an appointment with the hair stylist.” She told him, above the noise of the TV drama playing. He was cooking her breakfast in the kitchen, something which she offered to help with, but he refused.

“Oh really?” He popped his head out from behind the counter.  
“I hope you’re not burning down my apartment.” Looking into the other room for any sign of smoke.  
“I hope I’m not, too.” He grinned, and she couldn’t help but beam back. His hair was sticking out in various different angles, and his eyes still hazy with sleep.

They ate slightly crispy pancakes at her small dining room table.  
“Do you ever think about moving?” He asked suddenly looking up from his plate.  
“I don’t know, sometimes? Why?”  
“I worry about you a lot, alone around here. Maybe you’d think about moving downtown?” He suggested.  
“That’s an idea.” She nodded. She actually had been looking at different places in the nicer areas of Seoul. Partially because she could afford it now with this job’s paycheck.  
“I could help you look for places…”  
“Maybe after this comeback? I don’t want to be distracted by moving in the middle of promotions.” She suggested.  
“Yeah, just promise me we’ll look after they end?”  
“I promise.” She swore.

She got dressed for the day, a striped turtleneck, light denim, a hat and a mask.  
“Ready to go?” She asked muffled by the mask covering her mouth and nose.  
“Mhmm.” He walked out of the bathroom having changed into plain clothing so he wouldn’t stand out on the street, and yet he still looked amazing.

“I’ve always wanted to do this.” He grinned pulling down her paper mask and kissing her gently. She gasped, but soon melted into his tall lean frame, his lips feeling all too natural against her own. 

“We better stop, or else we won’t make the appointment in time.” She said against his lips, laughing when he pouted slightly.  
“Alright.” He agreed pulling the paper mask up back over her face. “Let’s go.”

They made it to the hair salon in downtown Gangnam just in time. She didn’t risk holding his hand in public, or leaning on him too closely. But the subtle affectionate acts that he gave her, like adjusting her hat, and brushing the backs of their hands together were satisfying enough.

“Noona, what color?” He asked.  
“I like the color you’ve got now.” Answering without hesitation, his chestnut fluffy hair had always been synonymous with his main vocalist image.

“Maybe a bit darker?” She suggested daringly, she’d only seen photos of him with black hair. It was hot. It made his honey colored skin stand out even more, and his sharp features harsher. But she didn’t know which she would prefer. She didn’t care, as long as it was Seokmin. He could pull off anything honestly, and she would love it.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” He nodded, showing the hair stylist the idea. She watched him, pieces of his long hair falling away at every snip.  
Then the dye went in, and she held her breath. When it was rinsed out completely his hair fell in his face like a wet mop. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“I really like your new hairstyle, Seokie.” She smiled when the stylist had went away to grab some product. Snapping a picture with her hand phone.  
“Oh thanks, I think the music video filming will go great with me looking like this.” He joked making a sour face in the mirror of the salon. The lady returned, blowing his hair dry with a comb and adding a final few snips.

His hair was short on the sides, but longer on top with bangs that fell just below his eyebrows. It was transformed from a chestnut to a chocolate color, not completely obvious but making a fundamental difference in his look.

“Shit...” She whispered, “that looks so good.”  
“Thanks,” he blushed, “I like it a lot too.”  
“I don’t know why they don’t make YOU the group’s visual.”  
“Noona, knock it off with the compliments.” Whining slightly he played with his new hair in the mirror.  
“Done.” The lady said putting down the comb and scissors.  
“Thank you Ma’am.” Seokmin bowed in his seat, Jin repeated the action standing up to go pay.

They exited the salon around lunchtime, getting in her car with their stomachs already growling.

“Let’s get lunch,” he suggested.  
“We don’t want to risk you getting noticed,” she reasoned frowning.  
“I have a mask.” He secured the paper mask over the bottom half of his face. Sighing she just looked over the idol sitting in the passenger seat fondly.  
“I think I know a place…” she grinned, starting up the car.

They got to the small Chinese restaurant at half past noon.

“Jin-ssi!” The kind Chinese speaking lady greeted her smiling familiarly. The restaurant wasn’t crowded, but there were a few families eating around, “where is Minghao? Or Junhui?”  
“They’re with their families overseas, Ahjussi.” She smiled.  
“Ah so you brought your boyfriend this time?” The older lady asked noticing their adjoined hands.  
“Haha you caught me.” Jin laughed. Seokmin smiled the widest grin he could, bowing politely.   
“I’ll get you two a table, follow me.”

“This is the place Minghao got drunk.” She giggled remembering the first time she’d actually talked with the Chinese idol. It had been just a few tables over, after a few glasses of Soju.  
“I remember that.” He smiled, “I waited on the grass outside just to see you when you dropped him off.”  
“Just to see me?” She blushed unable to help her reaction to his sweet words.  
“Yeah,” he looked down at his plate embarrassed, “standing with Jun for that long got kind of awkward.” He coughed.  
“Such a pabo.” Their laughing caught the attention of some people sitting and eating, so she tried to keep it down.

“Mmm… why didn’t Minghao take ME here before,” He joked, slurping up the last of the noodles on his plate.  
“Maybe he just likes me better?”  
“Who are we kidding, he likes Jun better than all of us combined.” He joked his mouth still half full. She giggled wiping the sauce from his bottom lip.

“Tomorrow we all get back to work, excited?” Changing the topic she finished up her meal as well.  
“I don’t know. I really enjoyed the vacation.” He shrugged.  
“Yeah, me too.” After a brief debate as to who pays for the meal, then deciding on splitting the bill, they bowed farewell to the nice ahjussi leaving the cozy restaurant.  
“Let’s get home.” She rubbed his cheek affectionately, tickling the skin that was uncovered by the paper mask. He nodded, squeezing her hand before they left for her apartment.

The minute she locked the door behind them, he pressed her up against the wall kissing tenderly.

“Last night we’ve got together for a while.” He told her in a low voice.  
“I’ll miss you.” She whispered back smiling when he just kissed her harder.  
“We’ll make time. I’m sure no one would notice me gone some nights.”  
“Just be careful.”   
“Some of the other members have girlfriends too, that we don’t know about,” He smiled nonchalantly.  
“And boyfriends,” she added.  
“True, but everyone knows about that.” He joked.

They ate pizza for dinner watching a drama playing on the tv. She wished she didn’t have to jump into the ice bath that was daily life the next day.

***

She woke up first, scrolling on her phone until Seokmin started stirring around beside her.  
“Morning.” She smiled down at him ruffling his hair gently.  
“How can you look this good in the morning?” He tried patting down his hair that stuck out in all directions.  
“It’s my charm,” she winked playfully, only to find herself giggling hysterically when he attacked her with a shower of small kisses.

“Do you want me to drive you back?” She asked mentioning the end of vacation with a pout.  
“No it’s okay, I drove my car here. Plus there will probably be some members who already are at the dorms.” he shook his head, pulling a sweater on over his T-shirt.  
“I’ll see you soon. Call me.” She told him, helping pack up and usher out the door.  
“I will,” before she could reach for the door handle, she cupped his face and kissed him one more time.  
“Bye Seokie.” She said as cutely as she could, causing him to wrinkle up his nose.  
“I’ll see you later, Noona.” With one last hug he left, she waved after him. 

***

Comeback promotions started immediately when work began the next day. The vacation had been nice, but it felt good getting back into the swing of things. She greeted the members individually when they came in for their fittings for their next music video.

“Have a good vacation, Cheolie?” She asked the leader when he walked into her office first.  
“Yes, but it’s good to be back.” He said sharply, “my little cousins are adorable but they drive me insane after too long.” She just laughed at the rapper who seemed exhausted.  
“That sounds nice,” she smiled.  
“Oh I’m sorry.” He apologized suddenly, “I shouldn’t be here talking about my family.”  
“No! Don’t apologize. I had the best vacation in a long time.” She giggled. Youngshin poked his head out of the back room curiously.  
“Hey Seungcheol.” He greeted. Seventeen’s rap leader just nodded back.

“Were you okay all by yourself?” Seungcheol asked concerned.  
“Yeah, I had some people to spend it with.” Laughing awkwardly she shrugged. He nodded, even though he didn’t fully know what she was referring to. Going on to describe how he had no cousins that were around his age, so he was expected to take care of all his younger cousins.  
“Honestly the members are comparatively easy to deal with, which seems kind of sad.” He remarked sighing.

The rest of the rap line came in next, Vernon chatting on and on about his brief trip to Jeju with Seungkwan. Wonwoo talking about all the books he had read over the break. And Mingyu being Mingyu (the best way to describe him was a puppy dog honestly).

At the end of the day she had marked up all the alterations needing to be done on the suits.

“Hey Jin.” Youngshin said nervously.  
“What is it Youngshin-ah?” She called back preoccupied with a stitch that wouldn’t come loose.  
“I… I submitted my three weeks notice today.”  
“Wait, what?” She shrieked, “you’re quitting?”  
“I… I got an acting offer.” He quickly clarified, “for a music video of a debuting artist. I really couldn’t pass it up.”  
“Oh?” She suddenly felt proud for the college student. “Congratulations!”  
“You’re not mad?” He asked surprised.  
“No, why would I be?” She laughed, “you’re going to be famous! I’m so proud of you!”  
“Thanks Jin.” He beamed.  
“Once you become rich and famous you can’t forget about where your career began.”  
“And you can’t tell me how your next assistant does their job better!”  
“Deal,” she laughed, “want to go out for celebratory drinks?”  
“Sounds awesome,” he agreed, “but we’ve got… three more hours in the work day.”  
“Let’s hard carry it out then.”

She was disappointed she hadn’t seen Seokmin at all, but she knew everyone was busy with comeback schedules.

“Okay,” she gave Youngshin a ride to the bar they chose. “My treat tonight.” She grinned.  
“Really?”  
“Yeah so don’t buy the most expensive wine here, and take advantage of my generosity.” She threatened. He laughed, ordering a cocktail of some assortment and scoping out cute guys who gave off a ‘gay vibe’ if that was even a thing. She just ordered herself a tea.

“Go talk to him then,” she urged gesturing to the guy Youngshin was making heart eyes at.  
“No way! He’s totally straight,” her assistant groaned.  
“How can you even tell?” She whined.  
“You just can,” Youngshin shook his head.

“Hey Miss, let me buy you a drink,” a tall man, who seemed intoxicated tapped her shoulder.  
“Sorry, I’ve got a boyfriend.” She retorted not even looking back and acknowledging him. He shrugged and walked away.

“Wait you do?” Youngshin snapped his attention to her words.  
“Uh no, I just wanted that guy to piss off,” she played it off with an awkward chuckle.  
“No, I can tell when you’re letting a guy down. You’re telling the truth,” Youngshin shook his head reasoning with her.  
“Eh so what if I do have a boyfriend? It doesn’t matter,” she laughed.

“You should at least tell Seokmin-ah.”

“What?” She almost shrieked in surprise.  
“Noona, he obviously has some weird feelings for you, you should just let him down before he gets his hopes up.”  
“You’re being ridiculous Youngshin. Now let’s get back to you and your search for a hot guy.” She flicked his forehead.  
“Okay,” Youngshin grinned.

Unfortunately by the end of the night there was no hot gay guy, and she wound up driving Youngshin back to his apartment near the university campus alone.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She waved.  
“Yeah, goodnight Noona.” He was slightly tipsy, but nowhere near blackout drunk. She trusted he’d get back safe without her supervision.

Tucking herself in bed, it felt different to be alone, having had Seokmin sleeping next to her. Like he did for the past week. It was a difference that was neither good nor bad, just different. The scent of him on her pillows lingered however, so she fell fast asleep cuddling one in her arms.


	29. Enjoying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin waits to see him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the Mature rating comes into play so if you don’t like softcore smut then just skip this chapter ;)

“NOONA!”  
“Morning Seungkwan.” She brightened up at his voice, it was the vocal team’s fitting today, “how was your vacation?”  
“Awesome! Amazing! Incredible!” He was very dramatic with his hand movements. Youngshin looked already exhausted out of the corner of her eye. “How was yours?”  
“Awesome, amazing, and incredible too,” she laughed, “your clothes are in the back room labeled.”  
“Thanks!” He shrieked practically hopping into the changing room.

***

“Good morning Noona.” Woozi bowed the moment he entered her office.  
“Jihoon-ie! How was your break?” Greeting the tiny idol familiarly trying to lighten up his generally serious mood.  
“It was okay.” He replied stiffly.  
“Really?”  
“My family didn’t give me enough time to work on our songs so.” He frowned.  
“At least you collected inspiration? I’m sure the break helped your flow?”  
“I guess you’re right.” He nodded thoughtfully.

***

Her anticipation to see Seokmin only grew when Jisoo was the next to walk in. She hadn’t seen him in two days, which was starting to feel like forever. It was scary how much she just wanted to see his face, alive and well.

Jisoo talked about his holiday in LA, and how nice the weather was compared to back here. She laughed at his stories of drunk family members, but her mind was often spacing out thinking of how long until she’d get to see Seokmin.

***

“Jeonghan-ah,” She greeted, knowing that she only had about an hour until Seokmin would be the next one to walk through those doors.  
“Hi Noona,” he bowed, fixing his hair and entering her office. She could tell her measurements were getting a little bit too sloppy as she was rushing through the fitting.  
“Sorry…” she apologized pulling too tight on the sleeve that almost ripped.  
“It’s fine.” He laughed. “Hey do you think you could give Dokyeom a ride home? I’m sure the guys are ready to leave by now, it’s after dinner.”  
“Yes, of course…” she tried to sound as normal as possible, but she just wanted to see the main vocalist with the chocolate colored hair. She wanted to be able to reach out and touch him, feeling his familiar warm skin. Love really drove one mad.

“Bye Noona,” When Jeonghan finally departed, her heart felt like it was beating at twice its normal rate. She fiddled with her pen, until she heard footsteps in the hall getting louder as they approached. Youngshin looked up from his computer knowing who was next.

“Hey…” he stepped into the room, looking as perfect as ever. His hair still fluffy from dance practice, honey colored skin softer than she remembered.

“Hi…” she smiled meeting his eye after somewhat discreetly checking him out. It’s not like his glances were that inconspicuous too. The only thing keeping her from running over to hug him was the presence of Youngshin, attentively looking up from his computer every now and then.

“It’s been a while.” He joked, she snorted laughing.  
“Too long.” She nodded.  
“How was your vacation, Seokmin?” Youngshin cut in, looking between them with sharp eyes.  
“Oh it’s was incredible.” He just gave Youngshin his brightest smile, something that she appreciated.  
“The clothes are in the back room.” She pointed. He nodded disappearing behind the closed door, giving her a hidden wink before disappearing. She knew she was bright pink.

“Noona,” Youngshin hissed so only she could hear, “you’re dating someone stop flirting,” he scolded frowning.  
“What? I wasn’t even flirting with him.” She smacked her assistant’s head in scolding.  
“You totally were,” he coughed, earning another annoyed flick.

Seokmin exited out of the fitting room wearing the first suit jacket and pants. Whenever he wore a suit he looked hot as hell, especially with his new hair color. Her breath was knocked out of her lungs, and she felt like she needed something to drink as her throat went dry.

“So?” He laughed looking himself over in the mirror.  
“Wow,” She stuttered out, “it looks perfect.” Youngshin gave her an angry look, she just scowled back. “Stand here while I pin things for alterations,” he nodded. Grabbing her small pin cushion she finally got to touch him even if it was for a fleeting few seconds.

Running her right hand along the sleeve of the coat jacket and collecting loose fabric with the other she saw him smile under her touch. If Youngshin wasn’t there, she would’ve kissed him.

Not realizing what she was doing, she started adjusting the inseam of his pants. Fingers straying dangerously close to his inner thigh.

“Jin,” he hissed swatting at her hand, “cut it out,”  
“Huh?” She looked up confused when she saw the bulge starting to form in his pants. Almost apologizing aloud in embarrassment, she almost caught herself. Turning as red as a tomato, and avoiding his eye contact. Finishing up the measurements before he had to change outfits again.

Sighing she collapsed in her chair, hand pressed to her forehead.

“Are you feeling alright?” Youngshin asked alarmed.  
“I’m fine,” she shook her head, sitting up straighter in her seat, “it’s late, are you sure you don’t want to get going?”  
“Yeah, me being here is starting to feel awkward.” He said shaking his head, “Noona, you’re dating someone! At least turn down the sexual tension just a little bit. You’re way too obvious.”  
“Hey!” She protested.  
“I’m right and you know it. Now good luck,” he shut off his computer, Seokmin was exiting the dressing room just as Youngshin was taking his leave.

“I’m going,” her assistant gestured towards the door, “goodbye Seokmin.”  
“Bye hyung,” the idol called after him, and the door clicked behind his receding figure. The air suddenly went dead silent as she listened to Youngshin’s footsteps fading. Once he couldn’t be heard any longer, Seokmin scooped her up in an embrace making her sigh in happiness. Cuddling into his arms as if it were the most natural thing. It felt like it.

“How’ve you been, Noona?” He asked separating so they could stand and talk but still be within inches of each other.  
“I’ve been missing you, how’ve you been?” She asked, playing with the collar of his shirt he was trying on.  
“Tired.” He sighed frowning.  
“I should hurry up then. Get you home so you could sleep.”  
“I sleep so much better with you.”  
“You’re so cheesy!” She shook her head unable to help the smile that spread across her face.  
“And you love me anyways.” He looked at her fondly for a few seconds, just staring up into his eyes that radiated warmth and comfort. He leaned down, kissing her slowly like they had all the time in the world. 

For two days she had been deprived this absolute pleasure, and now that she finally had him here she didn’t know if she wanted to let him go again. He pushed her back onto the couch, their lips brushing each other gently.

“I missed you,” She repeated, letting him pin her down on the small sofa. It felt so good just to be with him again. Almost completely on top of her, she wrapped her legs around his torso instinctively.  
“I missed you too,” He said between kisses, slowing down, “but I think we should stop.”  
“We should get back to work.” She pouted tugging on his collar gently.  
“That and I’m not completely all better from earlier,” he said embarrassed.  
“What do you mean?” She asked confused, until he ground his hips into hers. She gasped at how good the contact felt, realizing just how hard he was through his denim jeans.  
“I should probably go take care of this. Before it becomes painful.” He said his voice already raspy with lust, as he uncontrollably rolled his hips once more panting slightly. She just writhed under the contact, her whole body burning up.  
“Can I help you?” She whispered nervously, “I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, but I can maybe do something about our… problem,”  
“Fuck…” he groaned. She felt even more turned on when he swore like that. It sounded so harsh and cutting. “I… I don’t want to go all the way.” He smiled.  
“But I can get you off?” She asked, loving how he reacted to her words. Eyes glazing over, and shuddering slightly.

“First how about we finish the clothes fitting? We wouldn’t want them getting dirty.” She said tugging at his shirt’s hem. He frowned but nodded, letting her finish her measurements. If she was rushed before, she sure was taking her time pinning back each layer of fabric. Teasing him by running a hand over the bulge in his pants as if she needed to make a adjustment around his thighs.

By the time of the last measurement, and she announced they were finished with work, he started stripping off his clothes eagerly.

She got up, locking the office door so no one would walk in on them, and drawing the curtain shut over the glass panes that separated the hallway from her space.

By the time she turned around he was stripped of his collared shirt, throwing it along with the suit pants over her desk.

“Oh god…” she sucked in a sharp breath seeing him almost naked in front of her. So goddamn sexy as hell.  
“Impressed?” He tried to lighten up the intense mood. She laughed, eyes raking over his body at every plane and crevice.  
“You could say that,” she ran her hand over the bare skin of his back. He shivered visibly, his boxers the only thing shielding him from being completely naked in front of her.

“Here, sit back on the couch.” She told him pushing him so he was in a somewhat relaxed position. His foot bouncing nervously. She straddled him first kissing him deeply, hand snaking lower to his waistband.  
“Are you… sure you want to do this? I don’t want to make it seem like since we’re together you should be…” he stuttered out flustered as her hand ghosted over the bulge in his underwear.  
“I’m sure, baby.” She ran her other hand around his neck as they kissed. He groaned at the pet name, letting her take control of the kiss. Slipping her hand beneath the fabric clinging to his skin she started stroking him.  
“You’ve done this before haven’t you?” He asked aloud breathily.  
“A couple times.” She replied winking, “I’m pretty good with my hands.” He bit his lip drawing blood when she stroked him fully. “But…” She whispered in his ear confident he was listening to her every word. “I’m better with my mouth.” She chewed on his ear, as he moaned dirtily at her words.  
“Shit,” He thrusted timed with her hand’s movements. She realized he was reaching his climax, quickly stopping the movements of her wrist much to his displeasure.

“Seokie,” she looked over at him, as if she was trying to figure something out, “how many times have you done this before?” She asked. He was so sensitive that he couldn’t have been too experienced.  
“Twice?” He raised the tone of his words.  
“Omo.” She smiled stroking him slowly so he whined for more. “You’re so sexy I didn’t expect you to be practically a virgin.” She laughed. His eyes were still glazed over when he panted out her name.

“What was that?” She ask evilly, “what do you want Seokie?”  
“Jin… fuck…” he groaned, “Suck me off.”  
“Whatever you want.” She got on her knees between his legs, already eye level with his hard dick. Pulling the waistband of his shorts down and kissing the inside of his toned thighs. Taking him in her mouth little by little. He was so vocal, his lewd moans filling the space with noise. She was so wet just at his sounds already. Releasing him from her mouth and stroking him a few times until he came with a loud moan.

“Oh my god…” he panted coming down from his climax.  
“Did you enjoy it?” She grinned helping tuck him back into his boxers.  
“Fuck… did I enjoy it?” He laughed, going back from being the most erotic person on the planet to the most adorable in a matter of seconds.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she smiled kissing him one more time before getting up to grab some tissues to wipe him off.  
“I love you so much.” He told her, as she helped clean him up. Slipping on his T-shirt and jeans.  
“I hope that’s not because I just blew you.” She pouted, laughing when he shook his head violently, “love you too Seokie. Now let’s get you home.”  
“Already?” He frowned. She laughed smoothing out the wrinkles in his forehead.  
“Don’t frown. I’ll see you again soon.” She assured the idol, packing up her bag and gesturing for him to follow her out to her car. Being in love was both the best, and most painful thing that ever happened to her.

She dropped him off at quarter past one, kissing him one last time before waving as she drove back home for a night of restless sleep.


	30. Partying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s a Halloween costume party! And Jin hopes no suspicions arise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I’m sorry for the really long chapter, I didn’t want to break up the party scene.

The performance team fittings were the next day.

“Aren’t Shinee Sunbaenim’s comebacks the greatest?” Hoshi went on and on about his favorite artist’s latest work.  
“Hm?” She smiled at the overly energetic idol who was already giving Youngshin a headache. “I guess but I’m more of a Big Bang person.”

***

Chan was next, as he told her about his vacation visiting with family then flying overseas. Jun came with a flurry of awkward hellos to Youngshin, and telling her all about their ‘My I’ come back and how amazing Minghao’s dancing was.

***

“Hao!” She greeted happy to see one of the members who she considered a close friend.  
“Noona, you’ve got a boyfriend?” He shrieked the first thing he said when he entered the room. Youngshin looked up from his computer suddenly, starting to grab his things so he wouldn’t have to be there for Minghao’s fitting.  
“What?” She asked suddenly, worrying that the word had got out somehow.  
“The ahjussi at the Chinese restaurant! She told me you brought your boyfriend there!” He said accusingly.  
“Oh…” she scolded herself for being so stupid, “right, I was going to tell you. That’s where I spent the vacation, with my boyfriend’s family.” She shrugged trying to play it off casually.  
“Why haven’t we met him?” Minghao glared, suspicious already.  
“Jin told me he’s an old friend that reconnected with her just last month.” Youngshin offered her explanation. It wasn’t really false, but not completely true either.  
“Oh?” Minghao sent her a sideways glance. His sharp eyes and long features feigning curiosity.

“I’m going to go out for Dinner, goodnight you two.” Youngshin left the office suddenly, not wanting any more awkward conversation with his ex.

“Noona…” Minghao sighed before he went to get changed, “you really should tell everyone.”  
“Huh?” She wonders aloud, “why would I do that?”  
“Remember?” He picked up the small card she kept on her desk, the one anonymously signed from Seokmin. “I know who sent this, Noona. I know they’d be devastated if you didn’t tell them soon.”  
“You know who sent this?” She asked.  
“It’s pretty obvious, at least after I found a receipt for the action figure crumpled on their desk.” Minghao shrugged.  
“Honestly Hao, sometimes it scares me how much you know.”  
“I know everything Noona.” They laughed because they both knew he wasn’t joking.

“Then yes,” she nodded, “I’ll tell them sometime.”  
“And make sure I meet this guy, I want to make sure he’s good enough for you.”  
“Hao, I’m YOUR Noona you don’t need to look out for me!” She pouted ruffling his dyed hair, “now go get changed.”

***

The next time she saw Seokmin was two nights later after work. He dropped in by her office trailed closely by Minghao who returned to see her.

“Hey.” She greeted happily surprised at the visit.   
“Jin,” Seokmin smiled his eyes becoming tiny crescents. If Minghao wasn’t there, she would’ve certainly embraced him.  
“Noona,” Minghao bowed politely, “we’re here to invite you to our Halloween party in a few days.” He announced.  
“Halloween party?” She asked curiously.  
“It’s at our dorm, and it’s a costume party!” Seokmin said excitedly.  
“Since everyone is of age, we’ll have drinks and stuff. And we’ll finally get to meet Woozi and Seungcheol’s girlfriends.” Minghao nodded.  
“Omo I can’t wait…” She giggled happily.

“Maybe you can bring your boyfriend too?” Minghao asked hopefully. Seokmin coughed loudly. She shrugged, patting Seokmin on the back so he’d stop coughing.  
“No… I don’t think he can make it.” She shook her head. Giving Seokmin a warning look.   
“Noona,” he tried to play it off as surprise, “you have a boyfriend?”  
“Mhmm I took him to a Chinese place downtown where Minghao and Jun go. The nice Ahjussi spilled the beans to Hao Hao that I’ve got a boyfriend.” She nodded explaining slowly. He feigned understanding. They both tried not to be suspicious.  
“Well congratulations. I hope you two are happy together.” He bowed his head trying to hide his smile from Minghao. The Chinese idol just stared at Seokmin as if he’d been caught in the act of murder.

“We are, thank you.” She choked back a laugh. Talking about Seokmin to Seokmin in front of Minghao just made her want to giggle aloud.  
“Seok, we should get back.” Minghao hissed, tugging on the chocolate haired boy’s arm.  
“I’ll see you there?” Seokmin asked hopefully disregarding the Chinese idol tugging on his arm.  
“I’ll be there.” She nodded smiling, tempted to just lean over and kiss him right there. “Bye you two,” she waved as they left her office, Seokmin giving her one last pouty look before he was forced out the door as well.

***

She spent her time off working on the costume for the party. So it would be perfect when the day finally approached.

Dawning her rendition of a Spider-Woman costume. A cropped red Spider-Man logo T-shirt, low hanging fire truck red joggers, and Spider-Man themed high tops. As well as red Spider-Man gloves. Curling her long ebony hair, and giving herself neutral makeup, she finally put on the gloves, grabbed her purse and a leather jacket, and left her apartment

***

“Hello,” she called through the dorm’s door, music pouring out from the other side.  
“Jin-Noona!” Hoshi grinned happily opening up the door to let her in, “You’re the last one to arrive we were worried you wouldn’t show.”  
“Fashionably late.” She joked.  
“Spider-woman?” He observed her costume nodding.  
“Yeah!” She grinned happy that he understood what she was.  
“That’s funny.” He smirked.  
“Why?” She asked quirking her head to the side.  
“Seokmin is Spider-Man.” Soonyoung laughed locking the door behind her. They hadn’t even planned it.  
“Really?” She smiled to herself, “what a coincidence.” 

Some of the boy’s were in the dining room, drinking, others gathered around the couch. However she had a few goals that night, one to find Seokmin (of course) and two, to meet Woozi and Seungcheol’s girlfriends who were supposedly making an appearance.

“Jin!” Her first objective was accomplished rather quickly.  
“Hi.” She hugged him, not realizing how intimate that appeared to the others watching them. Breaking apart abruptly after hearing Soonyoung awkwardly cough.

“Looks like we wound up doing a couple’s costume.” He joked, but there was some truth to his words.  
“Great minds think alike,” she laughed pulling on the fabric of his T-shirt, “I think I made my costume a little better though, don’t you think?” Joking everyone listening laughed lightheartedly. Chan launched into the story behind his costume. Unbeknownst to the others Seokmin was holding her waist pulling her close to him.

When Chan finished talking, he pulled her away from the group.

“You look really good.” He turned around caging her gently between his body and the wall so only she could hear their conversation below the heavy bass of the music.  
“You too.” She laughed, squeezing his side teasingly then looking around hoping no one noticed. He spared her a glare, eyes already disappearing when he smiled.

“I need to meet Woozi and Seungcheol’s girlfriends.” She whispered looking around the room for long hair.  
“Oh they’re here somewhere, I think you can tell them apart.” He hissed laughing.  
“Hm?” She asked confused.  
“Honestly Seungcheol’s girl should probably put on a jacket.” He made a sour face which she laughed at.  
“Oh? So she’s a sexy type then?”  
“Hardly.” He snorted, holding her waist.  
“Is she pretty at least?” She asked pulling on Seokmin’s cheek making him pout. They stayed aware of those around them, making sure not to get too comfortable with each other in front of anyone.  
“I guess? I mean Seungcheol totally blows her out of the water in terms of visuals. Maybe that’s why she’s… overcompensating?” He coughed, she laughed caressing his jaw with her gloved hand.   
“As long as you only have eyes for me,” she quickly pecked him on the cheek, making sure no one could see.  
“Always.” He blushed pink, “I should be the one worried about you, with your herd of admirers.”  
“You never have to worry about me.” She caressed his face playing with his fluffy fringe, “I love you.” She told him earnestly.  
“I love you too,” He nodded. Jumping slightly when a loud bang sound startled them. It was from the other room. “We look suspicious, I can feel Minghao’s eyes on my back.” He shivered. She laughed loudly messing his hair up once more before stepping to the side.  
“I’ll see you later? For food?”  
“Yeah, and save me a dance?”  
“If I could even begin to attempt at dancing.” She joked. Patting his arm when they reluctantly separated to go socialize with the others.

She found the first human of her kind on the sofa, a sensible looking tiny girl watching TV alone without a Halloween costume on.

“May I sit?” She asked the girl gesturing to the seat beside her.  
“Oh, of course of course.” The girl bowed deeply in her seat her deep voice contrasting with her tiny appearance.  
“I’m Jin, nice to meet you.” She extended her hand out to shake the girl who she figured to be Woozi’s girlfriend.  
“I’m Lucy,” the girl with the short bob cut nodded, bowing again.  
“Lucy? Did you live overseas?”  
“I lived in Canada for three years as a child.” Lucy smiled, acting all too respectful to make the conversation comfortable.

“What year were you born in?” She found herself asking.  
“1996.” Lucy informed her.  
“Ah, 1995 myself.” She smiled warmly, “you can call me Unnie if you’d like.”  
“Thank you! Are you some sort of big idol star, Unnie?” Lucy asked eagerly. Jin shook her head laughing.  
“No! Where would you get that idea?” She laughed, Lucy smiled the first real smile of their whole conversation. “I’m just their stylist.”  
“Ah… you look like you could be an idol yourself Unnie.”  
“You too Lucy, Jihoon-Ah got really lucky,”   
Lucy looked down at her lap blushing.  
“Thanks…” She stuttered shyly.  
“How did you two meet?”  
“We’re childhood friends, ever since grade school. We reconnected after I got back from Canada and he told me all about his dreams of becoming an artist.”  
“That sounds like a fairytale.” Jin grinned. Lucy just flusteredly continued the story, how Woozi would always play his songs for her. And how he eventually confessed through a song he wrote for her. It made Jin feel happy that two wonderful hardworking people with their own dreams could wind up together. They switched between English and Korean to speak, and she felt closer to the girl after they talked for longer.

They were busy talking about some movie or tv show they both watched, when an undeniably feminine voice cut sharply through the room.

“Where’s the booze?”

“Is that…” Jin said in English, so no one would overhear. Gesturing with her glance towards the third woman in the room.  
“Yep.” Lucy nodded, looking slightly intimidated.  
The lady was wearing a blatantly over-sexualized kitten Halloween costume, showing off well… everything. Her face was covered with the thickest layer of makeup, as if it were masking a scar.

“She looks like a hooker…” Jin mused when Lucy snorted loudly laughing at the statement.  
“That’s one way to put it.” The younger smiled.  
“Really I thought Seungcheol would have better taste.” She joked, both her and Lucy laughing until they got side stitches. “Do you know her name?”  
“Something like Hyojong?” Lucy whispered when the girl swept the room with her mascara blocked gaze.  
“Maybe I should introduce myself?”  
“Can you help me too, Unnie? I was too scared to earlier.” Lucy said. The two girls nodded to each other making an unsaid pact before standing up.

“Uh excuse me, it’s nice to meet you.” Jin bowed to the lady wearing the skimpy Halloween costume.  
“Who are you?” The lady asked somewhat rudely.  
“She’s a top fashion designer, for idols.” Lucy cut in, and Jin made her best effort to not laugh.   
“Oh?” Seungcheol’s girlfriend feigned interest suddenly becoming very polite.

“I’m just joking.” Lucy shook her head, Jin laughed shoving the younger on the shoulder playfully. The woman didn’t seem very full of humor at all, not even giving a polite smile.

“I’m Jin, 95 liner.” She bowed, “and that’s Lucy, younger than me by a year.” Lucy repeated the gesture bowing deeply as well. “What’s your name?”  
“Hyejeong.” The lady didn’t bow back, snorting haughtily at the duo, “born 1992.”  
“Well that makes you our Unnie then,” Lucy pointed out smiling. They said Unnie simultaneously, trying desperately to hold back their fits of laughter.  
“I’m leaving.” Hyejeong strutted away from them whining about the food.

“Oh my god, you’re pretty funny Lucy-nie.” She giggled returning to the couch.  
“Thank you,” the tiny girl laughed.

Woozi sat down next to her, holding her by the waist and not saying much. Lucy was still blushing bright red though, all while trying to focus on her conversation with Jin.

“I’m going to go get a drink, do you want one?” She asked the couple. They shook their head seemingly simultaneously.  
“We don’t drink.” Lucy giggled.  
“Haha well I do, and I need one after that conversation.” She gestured to Hyejeong across the room. Lucy nodded understanding.

She walked to where the drinks were set up, forgetting she had to drive home and downing a shot slamming the glass on the table. Pouring herself another one, she thought she was alone until a soft voice caught up with her. 

“I’ve never seen you drink before.” Seokmin leaned over her shoulder like a sloth on a tree.  
“Really?” She asked surprised, “oh shit I forgot I have to drive myself home…”  
“Stay, overnight.” He moved a strand of hair away from her face, embracing her slim frame tightly.  
“Maybe I will,” she cuddled into his arms. 

When Minghao walked in, Junhui in tow Seokmin jumped away from her. Making as much distance between them as possible.  
“Hey.” Minghao frowned grabbing Jun another can of beer, “how’s the party going?” He asked suspiciously.  
“It’s good, I met Lucy. She’s adorable.” She smiled looking over at the couch where Lucy and Woozi were sitting together watching whatever show was on tv. Totally in their own little world. It made her want something like that just a little bit more, but she knew she shouldn’t be pushing it.

“Your costumes are adorable, did you plan it?” Jun remarked, leaning on his boyfriend for support.  
“No, not at all.” She laughed, “funny coincidence right?”  
“Not surprising given you two are always together.”  
Minghao raised an eyebrow as if he were accusing them of something.  
“She’s my best friend,” He laughed, “of course best friends stick together.”  
“Mhm.” She agreed, her heart familiarly fluttering at his words.

“You two aren’t dating?” It was Hyejeong, who overheard their entire conversation walking over with an arrogant strut. Minghao’s frown just deepened as he held onto Jun tightly.

“Me and Seokie? No…” she shook her head, gripping Seokmin’s arm a little tighter, downing her shot quickly.  
“Then do you mind if I steal him for a minute?” The rude girlfriend asked pointing to the area where the boys were dancing.  
“Oh, I wasn’t going to dance tonight.” Seokmin shook his head.  
“Cmon,” Hyejeong practically grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the kitchen.  
“It’s okay.” Jin whispered to him as he desperately gave her one last look before disappearing into the living room where the people were dancing freely.

“What a bitch…” Junhui remarked sipping his beer sassily. She laughed at the two Chinese idols.

“So how’s life been with you two?” She asked, trying to stay uninterested in the events of the other room. Fidgeting with her hands in her lap.  
“Jin, stop stalling and go get your best friend back.” Minghao said sharply.  
“Making an excuse to get rid of me and make out with Jun? I see how it is.” She laughed when Minghao didn’t even deny it. Shrugging honestly.

She stood up, the alcohol not affecting her much at all, before she made her way to the living room. 

The sight making her blood boil with rage, as Hyejeong was trying to get Seokmin to dance with her but he kept refusing. She even went as far as to shove her boobs in his face, but he just stepped back politely saying something that he couldn’t hear over the music.

“Why the fuck are you dating her?” She asked Seungcheol who had made his way to her side watching the two.  
“My parents are meddling again.” He sighed, “she’s a nuisance isn’t she?”  
“Yes…” she hissed totally not getting slightly possessive. But acting like someone was encroaching on her territory, even though Seokmin didn’t belong to her.  
“Don’t worry I’m ending things after tonight.” The leader reassured her, “I told my parents I don’t want to be in a relationship and they wouldn’t listen.”  
“It’s alright.” She understood where he was coming from after he explained about the influence his parents had, “hey, do you want to dance to get your mind off of things?” She offered smiling trying to cheer up the exhausted leader.  
“Okay, thanks Noona.” He seemed hopeful when he took her arm. The song was upbeat and fast paced, so they bounced around the house’s tile floor next to Vernon, Seungkwan, and Hoshi. 

When the song changed to a slower song that Seungkwan had probably been the one to request, he offered his hand which she took grateful to not be left alone on the dance floor.  
“Troublemaker…” she cited the song, “Hyuna and Hyunseung sang this.”  
“I love this song.” Seungcheol laughed.  
“Oh? Do you know some of the choreo?”  
“Of course.” He nodded.  
“I do too.”

Without any other words they fell into sync, as if they were putting on a stage performance. Many of the Seventeen members stopped to watch.

“Troublemaker…” the song played, as she danced with Seventeen’s rap leader. Noticing out of the corner of her eye when Seokmin literally pushed Hyejeong away from him angrily. She smiled triumphantly, dancing while the Seungkwan hooted loudly.  
“Stylist-ssi and leader-hyung look so good.” He crowed. She frowned at his words, trying to pick Seokmin out of the crowd, but she couldn’t see him.  
“Mind if I cut in?” He grabbed Seungcheol’s arm almost too violently, stopping their movements.  
“No, be my guest. Thanks for the dance Noona.” The leader waved leaving the dance floor.

Seokmin pulled her tight to his chest, protectively shaking his arms around her and dancing.  
“Thought you said you’d save a dance for me,” He swayed with her to the beat, making sure not to get too close in front of the others.  
“Sorry, it just looked like you were busy.” She grinned, loving the way Hyejeong stormed out of the room after seeing Seokmin steal her away.  
“God, such a bitch,” he whispered. She laughed even harder, not used to him using language like that.  
“You agree?”  
“I think everyone would agree.” He nodded. They didn’t even realize how close they were. Dancing naturally against each other to the music, almost grinding until Minghao coughed loudly from behind her.

“He’s always watching me when you’re around.” Seokmin hissed.  
“Guess we look too friendly?” She laughed pushing him apart so he stayed arm’s distance as they danced.  
“I’m tempted to just tell him the truth.” Seokmin sighed, “I trust he won’t tell anyone, maybe Jun but Jun keeps secrets really well,”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah.” Seokmin nodded, “it would be good to be honest before he starts spreading rumors.”  
“Yeah. I guess you’re right.” She nodded.  
“Let’s go then…”  
“Now?” She shrieked, when he grabbed her arm and started leading her to where Minghao was standing.  
“Yeah.” He beamed back, and she couldn’t help but feel comforted, “there won’t be a better time.”

“Hey Hao.” She approached the Chinese idol, “mind if we find someplace to talk?”  
“Hm? Yeah sure.” Minghao nodded as the three made their way to one of the shared bedrooms sitting on Minghao’s bed.

“What’s this Uh… about?” He asked confused.  
“Well…” she began, looking over at Seokmin for an explanation when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.  
“Noona and I are together.”  
“Well of course you’re together, you’re always together. Almost as inseparable as Jun and I…” Minghao looked between them confused before putting two and two together. “I knew it!” He shrieked standing up from his bed.

“Huh?” She asked confused.  
“I had my suspicions,” he nodded, “I knew the letters were from Seokmin, and the way he reacted after you told him you had a boyfriend made no sense. If it were true and you were dating someone else he would’ve had a fit.”  
“I wouldn’t have!” He denied, “actually maybe I would…” he corrected himself laughing. She pinched his nose gently.  
“Hao, you just can’t tell anyone. It would make it so much more complicated if everyone knew…” she shook her head not wanting to think about it.  
“I figured.” Minghao agreed, “and yeah I promise.”  
“Thanks,” she held onto Seokmin a little tighter.  
“Yeah thanks Hao Hao. I kind of figured I had to tell you first.” Seokmin grinned at the other 97 liner.  
“Yeah yeah, everyone already knows you two are practically married so even if you did tell them it wouldn’t be much of a surprise.” The Chinese idol stood up nodding, “good luck.” He said before he left the room, closing the door behind him.

“That went over well.” She smiled happily.  
“Better than I expected.” Seokmin agreed, “oh tomorrow there’s something I need to show you.”  
“Huh?” She asked aloud confused.  
“Just trust me, if you stay the night I can show it to you tomorrow morning.” He said giddily.  
“Alright.” Agreeing because she was curious, and because she trusted the chocolate haired idol, “we should get back to see everyone,”  
“Yeah, we could.” He shrugged, “or we could try to recreate the Spider-Man kiss scene?”  
“You’re such a geek!” She laughed, “but yes we’ve got to give it a try.”

It didn’t work. Of course it didn’t, neither one of them could walk on the ceiling. But it did result in a moment where Seokmin did a handstand against the wall, and she kissed him kneeling on the floor.  
“Close enough.” She grinned wrapping her legs around him as he scooped her up kissing her properly.  
“Close enough,” he agreed smiling against her lips.

“Let’s get back down to the party?” She suggested after spending a suspiciously long amount of time upstairs.  
“One more minute?” he whined. Having some self discipline she just shook her head firmly.  
“Maybe tomorrow. When you’re showing me whatever you wanted me to see.” She grabbed his hand tugging him towards the door, “we’ll have plenty of time.”

“I’ll walk down first and then a minute later you come down too…” she schemed so it wouldn’t look suspicious. He just nodded, watching her with fond eyes as she pecked him on the cheek before returning to the party.

By the end of the night, Lucy and Jihoon left early going back to Lucy’s place, and the rest of them were on the scale of tipsy to wasted.

“Who wants to play a game of truth or dare?” Jeonghan suggested sitting the guests around the coffee table.  
“Really? Feels like University all over again.” Jin joked, making brief eye contact with Seokmin across the group from her. Giving him a hidden smile.  
“Who’ll start?” Hoshi asked.  
“We’ll spin to see.” Jeonghan took out an empty glass bottle setting it on the table. She rolled her eyes, laughing with Minghao who was trying to understand how the game worked.

“I think I’m going to take Hyejeong home now.” Seungcheol got up from the table, seeing his ‘girlfriend’ whisper something in Hoshi’s ear causing him to look at her with blatant shock. The two excused themselves, before the game even began.

“Okay… who’s first…” Jeonghan grinned evilly, flicking the bottle until the head landed on Chan, their maknae. “Truth or dare?”  
“Uhhh… dare?” He squeaked nervously.  
“Sit on my lap and pretend to be my baby!” Jeonghan squealed. The maknae groaned in defeat, giving in and going along with the vocalist’s dare. Minghao was dared to then makeout with Junhui, which he did happily. Everyone groaned looking away from the sight. Then Minghao asked Jisoo what his sexuality even was, Jisoo admitting that he wasn’t completely straight.

“Vernon… truth or dare?”  
“Truth please hyung!” Vernon replied.  
“Hm,” Jisoo thought about it for a moment, “if you were a girl, who out of the members would you want to date?”  
“Me?” He shrieked.  
“Yeah.” Joshua nodded eager for an answer.  
“I don’t know… Seungkwan I guess.” He replied and everyone around the table erupted in oohs. Seungkwan was looking at the floor, avoiding Vernon’s eyes. And she could see something between them, that maybe they didn’t realize was even there in the first place.

“JIN-NOONA!” Vernon shouted happily, “Truth or dare?” He asked when the bottle landed on her. She debated the options in her head.  
“Dare!” She spoke up bravely.  
“I dare you… to kiss the person on your right!”

She cringed, looking over and seeing Wonwoo just as unwilling. Seokmin started glaring a bit too obviously as the rapper.

“I don’t think that’s uh… a good idea.” She coughed out.  
“What?” Vernon asked surprised.  
“She has a boyfriend.” Seokmin spoke up loudly cutting in on the conversation.

“She does?” They all started bombarding her with questions.  
“Yes I have a boyfriend!” She spoke up, “so I can’t kiss anyone. Sorry Wonwoo I know you were looking forward to it.” She quipped. He snorted from beside her shaking his head.  
“Then I’ll just give you a truth question.” Vernon reasoned, “out of all the Seventeen members, who’s your type?”  
“WHAT?” She shrieked.  
“Cmon you didn’t do the dare.” The maknae rapper smiled evilly. “First describe your type, then have us guess,”  
“Vernon…” she sighed.  
“Don’t worry, whatever you say doesn’t leave this room, Noona.” Seungkwan comforted. Seokmin was also looking at her curiously.

“Okay um… I like fluffy hair, and eye smiles, and how they can pull off both cute and sexy concepts.” She smiled, “He has to be funny and make me laugh, he has to be willing to try new things.” She finished. Most of the members were contemplating.

“That sounds like Seungcheol…” Seungkwan spoke up.  
“Seungcheol’s not funny though.” Vernon pointed out, his eyes scanning the room in contemplation. Minghao just kept quiet, smirking all too knowingly.  
“Mingyu? I mean Mingyu fits most of her criteria.” Chan spoke up.  
“What are you even trying to accomplish here?” She sighed, shaking her head.  
“To see which member is your type of course.” Vernon announced and she rolled her eyes again.  
“I have a boyfriend.” She repeated the earlier statement but no one was listening.  
“Seokmin.” Jun snapped his fingers and the room made sounds of realization. She blushed a deep pink.  
“Obviously she likes me best, she’s my best friend.” Seokmin spoke up earning a laugh from the others.

“Wait guys, it’s SeokJin…”  
“What?” She asked confused looking around for the BTS singer.  
“No, you two. You’re SeokJin.” He laughed, “Seokie and Jin-Noona.”  
“Ahhh.” Everyone caught one laughing at the main dancer’s creativity. She smiled catching Seokmin blushing wanting to walk over to him and kiss him on the redness of his cheeks. 

“Noona. What is your boyfriend’s name? Can we meet him?” Seungkwan asked excitedly.  
“My boyfriend…” She gulped looking at the floor.  
“Yeah.” The singer nodded. She gave a desperate look at Seokmin who’s eyes were wide.  
“His name is uhhh… Minseok.” She cringed at her own words and Minghao snorted out loud, “and no he lives far away so uh… no.”  
“Awww.” Vernon whined. Luckily everyone was drunk so they couldn’t decipher things on their own.  
“Let’s just continue with the game?” She suggested hopefully.  
“Alright!” They agreed. She continued the game, passing it off to Mingyu who was the most drunk out of them all.

By the time the game ended it was nearing midnight and the idols decided to get to bed.

“Yes, I’m fine with sleeping on the couch! Thank you for even offering to let me stay over.” She pinched Seokmin’s side, as he pulled out a long T-shirt and some shorts she could sleep in.  
“I’m glad you agreed,” he smiled. Jisoo and Seungkwan in the room behind him, tucking themselves into their beds.  
“Yeah I hope you get a good night’s sleep Noona.” Joshua wished.  
“Thanks Jisoo-yah,”

After changing into her sleep clothes that smelled all too much like the idol she was in love with, she tucked herself into the makeshift bed on the couch.  
“Minseok? Really Noona?” Seokmin smiled down at her figure in the mass of blankets.  
“Shut up… you were no help.” She whispered back. All the lights were off, it being pretty dark in the dorm already.  
“Love you Jin.” He kissed her goodnight and she returned it, “I can’t wait to show you the thing tomorrow!”  
“You can’t tell me what it is?” She pouted brushing her lips teasingly against his plump ones.  
“Nope. Can’t spoil it.”  
“Gee, I’m so intrigued.” She said sarcastically.  
“It’ll be awesome.” He nodded sitting down beside her and throwing the blanket over himself.  
“What are you doing?” She hissed.  
“I mean no one will notice my bed empty. I’ll just wake up really early and no one will be suspicious.” He grabbed her waist cuddling her tightly.  
“Seokmin…” she warned.  
“Noona, trust me.” He smiled, and she gave in like always. Because she was too weak for his smile.  
“Fine. Goodnight Seokie.” She sighed kissing his jaw softly before falling limp in his arms.  
“Goodnight Jin.”


	31. Spilling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because every couple has their insecurities. And perfection isn’t permanent.

She woke up early the next morning to the same voice that put her to sleep.  
“We should leave before the others wake up.” He told her, she comprehended only half the words through her sleepy stupor.  
“Mmm alright…” she groaned stretching out her sore limbs, and feeling the residual hangover that existed after the night of drinking.

She quickly got changed into the clothes Seokmin had provided, allowing her to raid his closet for a long white and black striped collared shirt, and some purposefully loose black pants.  
“Wow my clothes look better on you…” He teased her, locking the dorm’s door behind him, “you should just keep them.”  
“Hmmm maybe they do fit me better…” She giggled at the teasing.  
“Thanks a lot.” He exaggerated his expression, and she stifled her laughter not wanting to wake anyone from inside the house. 

They arrived at her car, but Seokmin asked if he could drive. She trusted him with the keys, riding shotgun.  
“So where are we going?” She asked looking out the window at the building’s passing by.  
“Somewhere,” he smiled smugly, knowing something she didn’t.  
“Seokie…” she whined, They were traveling through the urban section of Gangnam only five minutes from the boys’ dorm when he pulled over the car and asked her to get out. She followed him down the street until they got to a glass building built over 20 stories high.

“This is a cool building, but uh why did you bring me here?” She asked confused as to why he would bring her to a random office building.  
“Noona, this is an apartment building.” He clarified leading her inside. She finally caught on to what he was talking about.  
“Omo a place this nice I couldn’t afford!” She laughed.  
“That’s why I did my research, and came across this place that’s listing is far less than the rent you pay.” He said leading her through the glass doors of the building and into the elevator. They traveled up to the 9th floor.

“Look at the view!” She cheered looking out the window on the 9th floor. Out towards the Han River and downtown.  
“Come on…” he tugged her to an apartment that was marked ‘For Sale’ with a sign. She followed him inside, and it was incredible. A window stretching from ceiling to floor letting her look out over Seoul from her couch. “I thought you would like this…”  
“It’s beautiful.” She nodded.  
“That’s why… I’m going to help you move in here.” He announced.  
“What?” She looked at him alarmed, “Seokie, you know it’s more complicated than just packing up your stuff and leaving.”  
“Noona, I worry about you so much. I’d worry a lot less if I could check in with you here.” He smiled gesturing out across the setup of furniture and hardwood floors, “Plus Noona this place suits you in a way…”  
“It’s definitely my style.” She agreed laughing, “I’ll see what I can do.”  
“And if you need any help, financially or anything, I’m right here. Don’t ask anyone else.” He ran a hand through her long long hair, pressing his lips to hers lovingly.  
“I promise.” She found herself making him a lot of promises. Promises she was determined to keep.

***

Moving in to a new place in the beginning of winter wasn’t the most ideal. She had most of her stuff in boxes, and a few of the furniture pieces disassembled.

It took both her and Seokmin over five trips in the snow to rid her old apartment of everything. The for sale sign had been changed to a sold sign, and she couldn’t believe that the new apartment actually belonged to her.

“So?” He asked once they were done transporting all the boxes, “Think it could be called home?”  
“Yeah…” she laughed giddily, “I think it’s perfect.”

Despite being exhausted from work, Seokmin helped her unpack most of her stuff.  
“What the hell… is this even a chair?” He asked taking the pieces of a disassembled chair out of a box and scattering them out on the floor.

“How about you hang my clothes, and I’ll take care of the furniture? Sound good, baby?” She laughed when he nodded, still trying to figure out the chair puzzle.  
“Don’t hurt yourself,” he patted her shoulder disappearing into the bedroom where her boxes of clothes were. She wrestled with the chair for a while, hammering a little too aggressively. She shouldn’t have been so surprised when a piece of the chair chipped off onto the floor.  
“Oops,” she wiped the moisture from her forehead frowning at the finally completed dining table chair. Only three more left to assemble.

When she entered her new bedroom she saw Seokmin sprawled out across the comforter asleep. She felt kind of guilty about having him help her. He was so obviously exhausted she should’ve sent him home, even if he wanted to help her out. She tucked him in with a blanket, whispering a quick goodnight and kissing him on the forehead.

Everything felt right, and that’s what she feared. Because perfection doesn’t last long, and she wanted it to last forever.

***

It was at music bank when it happened for the first time. She was walking into the venue, wearing sunglasses and a paper mask laughing at something Seokmin had shouted when she felt her wrist being grabbed.

“Seokmin is mine, get away from him! He doesn’t love you!” A sasaeng fan screeched pulling her violently toward the crowd of screaming fangirls until Seokmin tugged her away to safety.  
“We’re not even dating!” Jin yelled back at the fans, angrily.  
“Hey, it’s okay.” He reassured her helping get her safely into the venue, “are you hurt?”  
“No.” She hid her bleeding wrist behind her back, “I’m fine, have a good performance.”  
“Good luck hug?” He asked hopefully. She winced at the pain in her arm.  
“Not here, not now.” She gestured to the people milling around the venue.  
“Okay…” he reluctantly walked off giving her one last look over his shoulder.

Her wrist hurt like hell, but what hurt worse was that she hadn’t been careful. She could ruin Seokmin’s career just by being near him. There were so many fans who thought of him as their property, and if she ever slipped up even once it would mean he’d be ruined.

She found herself being more careful around him, hanging back from the group and separating herself in public so she wouldn’t upset anyone. He sent her worrying glances every now and then.

They had their golden moments, her new apartment was somewhat of a safe haven for them to just be together. Once a week he stayed the night, giving the other members some excuse or another. It became so regular she just gave him a key so he could come over even if she hadn’t come home yet.

They were laying next to each other on her bed, when she asked a question that had been on their minds for a while.

“We’ve been dating for two months…” She mused.  
“Two and a half,” he corrected, kissing the back of her hand. She chuckled propping her chin up in her hands.  
“We’ve been dating for two and a half months, we’ve done stuff together, but when… when can we go all the way?” She cuddled into his side worried about what his answer would be.  
“I’ll take you on a date, this Friday.” He grinned, “we can just act like we’re a normal couple.”

His words surprised her, and she didn’t know how to feel. Because they’d never be normal, they wouldn’t ever be allowed to be normal. And he’d always be wanted by half the girls in the nation, and she’d just have to be reassured that he loved her the most. It made her feel… alone.

“Okay.” She found herself agreeing even if she was still contemplating things, “Friday.”


	32. Reassuring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date night for SeokJin!!!

Friday arrived, he told her when he’d pick her up.

She didn’t know what to wear, violently tearing through racks of clothes for something. Anything. Until she grabbed a form fitting deep red cocktail dress. It would be her first actual date since college, and even if she knew Seokmin loved her, she also wanted to make her look memorable.

She tossed her raven colored hair over one shoulder, curling it into waves. Giving herself a more exaggerated makeup look than what she usually went for. Pale skin and dark eye makeup. 

Looking in the mirror she laughed at how hard she was trying, knowing that she could show up in sweats and Seokmin wouldn’t love her any less. But tonight was different, tonight she wanted to look sexy, and she wanted to show a different side of herself. It was early December so she dawned a distressed faux-leather jacket over her thin garment.

The last thing she pulled on were her shoes before she left the apartment. Holding her clutch bag under her arm and reading the texts he sent her.

“Good evening.” She greeted opening the door to his silver Toyota.  
“Wow…” he just stared, and she felt a little proud of how his eyes strayed to all her features.  
“It’s been too long,” she said, laughing when he leaned over to kiss her.  
“God. you look so good… I mean you normally look amazing! And I love your everyday look, but this is just wow,” he mumbled, blushing bright pink. She loved how flustered he got sometimes. It was the cutest thing ever.  
“Oh, you like me this dress?” She smiled buckling her seatbelt.  
“Yeah...” He stuttered.  
“Ah I hope you like me out of it too.” She joked just wanting to make him blush and stutter more.  
“Oh god, what is up with you tonight?” He shook his head.  
“What? You don’t like it?” She pouted, brushing the bangs out of his eyes.  
“No! I didn’t mean it like that.” He denied, “I don’t know how I’m going to last, what if we just skipped dinner?” He joked, pulling out of the parking lot.  
“You’re adorable.” She said honestly.  
“I know,” he made a pouty face that she couldn’t take seriously.

Over the year and a half she’d seen him interact with everyone who worked at Pledis, the Seventeen members, the rest of the staff, even the CEO, but she couldn’t help but feel that he was so different around her. 

He was usually found screaming his head off, or being general noise pollution, but around her he spoke naturally. He never screamed to loudly, or yelled at her whilst caught up in his own enthusiasm. It was a difference she marveled at, appreciating every bit that was Seokmin.

“Oh, wait here.” He swerved the car grabbing at something in the backseat. She laughed when he produced a full bouquet of bright colored daffodils.  
“How did you…” she held them in her lap inhaling the fresh scent.  
“Just like before.” He didn’t need to explain.  
“They remind me of you.” She looked down at the blossoms with care, “just like sunshine, Seokie.”

“Then you’d be…” he considered it for a moment, “you’d be a lavender, pretty weird to look at, but it smells the best.”  
“YAH!” She laughed hitting his shoulder, “you’re lucky you’re cute.”  
“Aren’t I, Noona?” He made another eye smile, that she couldn’t help but find the best thing in existence.

They chatted lightheartedly until they arrived at the restaurant he chose, it was a small grill place that separated the tables into private rooms so they wouldn’t be spotted. She set the flowers on the table next to her, sitting down across from him beaming.

“I bet the food here is amazing…” her stomach growled just thinking about the meat that would be soon sizzling on the grill top.  
“Thinking about food already?” He laughed.  
“I’m starving.” She nodded reading the menu. The waiter then came in with waters to take their order.

“So then Seungkwan just screamed…” he told her animatedly, “and we all freaked out because we thought he was dying or something…”  
“Uh huh.” She nodded already involved in the story he was telling.  
“But when we came to check, he was just standing there still as a statue, and Vernon who had just gotten out of the shower was just like awkwardly standing in front of him.”  
“So, what did he scream about?” She urges him to continue.  
“Something about how he didn’t know Vernon had abs.” Seokmin shrugged. She was laughing trying not to choke on the water she was sipping.  
“God is everyone in the group so dramatic?” She smiled.  
“Pretty much.” He nodded his eyes and smile wrinkled happily.  
“Vernon and Seungkwan are so cute.” She sighed just thinking about what a cute couple they’d make.  
“Honestly sometimes they act worse than Minghao and Jun.”  
“Do you think it’ll ever happen?” She crossed her fingers hopefully.  
“I hope so.” He laughed, “I don’t know though, they’re both so dense.”

They ate, with conversation about life dispersed in between.

“Nowadays sometimes I feel like you’re so distant. Is everything okay?” He asked, and she suddenly felt slightly sick talking about it.  
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” She nodded, trying to change the topic again.

“Jin.” He looked at her seriously, “I know not everything is okay. You stay miles away when we’re with the others and out in public, but when it’s just us you’re yourself again. We’re alright, right?”  
“Us?” She said surprised, “we’re fine, Seokie. It’s just I don’t want any rumors to start or anything when I get too close to you.”  
“What? Why are you so paranoid?” He laughed shaking his head, “it would be more natural for me not to be constantly checking over my shoulder to find you. I like it when you’re by my side.”

“It’s just…” She sighed, “at the music show the other week I was walking too close to you and the members and well this happened.” She rolled the sleeve of her dress back to show him the red gash wounds that once bled out, from the sasaeng fan’s sharp fingernails.  
“HOLY SHIT!” He almost stood up, grabbing her wrist gently and looking over the scars, “our fans will hear about this… this is unacceptable…”  
“Seokmin.” She sighed taking back her arm and brushing his hair back, “you’ll always be wanted. There will be prettier girls and guys alike who love you. I guess there’s nothing I can do, but sometimes I get kind of upset about it.”

“Noona…” he sighed kissing her hand affectionately, “I wouldn’t mind if everyone found out about us. I don’t want that only because of the hate you’ll receive because of it. I love you, I can’t love anyone else but you. It’s impossible.”  
“I love you too” She felt comforted at his words, he knew just how to make her feel less insecure. “It sounds corny, but sometimes I just think that we were destined for each other.” She giggled.  
“We are destined for each other.” He smiled relieved to see her so happy, “now here try this.” He offered her some kimchi which she ate off his chopsticks.

“Mmm good…” she mumbled out with her mouth full.  
“Cute.” He laughed eyes glistening with light and warmth. She could let all her worries melt away just sitting and talking with the other.

They ate and talked until finally checking the time to see it was approaching 10PM.  
“I bet the restaurant’s empty by now.” She laughed after they agreed on splitting the bill.  
“I’ll treat you to ice cream after this,” He offered helping her collect her things as she shrugged on her jacket.  
“Okay,” she agreed. She slipped her hand into his warmer one when they walked out of the place, thanking the owners politely.

“Right there.” He pointed to the convenience store who’s lights were still flashing on the open sign. She grabbed a chocolate cone from the freezer, he grabbed a strawberry. The lady behind the register gave them an awestruck look, peering down at the large bouquet of yellow flowers and then up at their faces.   
“Are you two idols?” She asked ringing up the total.  
“No,” Seokmin shook his head, “sorry.”  
“Such a pretty girl.” The lady shook her head looking over Jin, “I used to look like that too you know.” and she promptly launched into a long story about how she was once a model and her descent to a convenience store clerk.

“That was uncomfortable.” He whispered when they finally made it out of the store and walked back towards his car. Laughing about the whole experience.  
“Now I know way more about a random stranger than I need to.” She laughed.  
“It’s your fault.” He blamed her, “you're the one who looks so easily approachable.”  
“Hey! I am not.” She laughed, “I’m the most intimidating of the intimidating.”  
“Sometimes.” He shivered at the thought. They reached the car by then.

“If you need to get home you can drop me off back at my apartment.” She said looking at her phone clock that read 11PM.  
“Oh don’t worry, I already told the others I wouldn’t be home tonight.”  
“What excuse did you use this time?” She snorted laughing. Getting into the passenger seat.  
“I had to please my girlfriend.” He smirked, starting up the car.  
“How did they react?” She leaned over kissing his neck, trying not to leave marks.  
“Minghao looked disgusted. Everyone else was shocked.”  
“Did you get the same interrogation I did?” She bit down on a particularly sensitive spot of skin near the juncture of his neck, and he yelped out loud.   
“If you don’t want me to pull over and take care of this, then stop.” He warned her.  
“Take care of this? That’s hot.” She remarked playfully kissing his cheek one last time, “and fine, I’ll stop.”  
“They asked me a bunch of questions, but I think they kind of already assumed because of all the excuses I was making. Your school friends can only visit town only once a month before it starts getting suspicious.” He explained, “I thought if I was somewhat honest it wouldn’t be much of an issue.”  
“Ah I wish I saw their faces.” She shook her head.  
“Seungcheol was such a dad about it. At first he was kind of freaked out, and then he said ‘use protection’ and that was the end of that.” Seokie shivered at the memory, she chuckled.  
“Think anyone will be suspicious?”  
“Maybe the smart ones.” He joked, “but if they ask about anything I can just be honest.”  
“You’d really tell them?”  
“Yeah, I wouldn’t lie to them. Plus I trust them all, they’ll find out eventually. We don’t have to be so careful anymore.”  
“We weren’t that careful in the first place.” She joked, “Minghao practically knew.”  
“He’s one of the observant ones though.” Seokmin laughed, “I honestly would bet half the members don’t even suspect a thing.”  
“You’re probably right about that.” She agreed. As they got closer and closer to her apartment, as she ate more and more of her ice cream until it was melting against the cold night air, she became a little more nervous. She knew what this whole date night implied, she had prepared as much as she could without making it seem purposeful. Just she was worried that it wouldn’t be what Seokmin wanted, what if he saw her differently afterwards?

“Hey you’re really quiet, are you okay?” He asked looking over his shoulder.  
“Just promise me, promise me that if this goes well or if it doesn’t, promise me that you’ll stay the night and be there in the morning?” She pleaded, having all too many times been left in the middle of the night to find her front door unlocked, with no other trace of anyone ever being with her. If that happened with Seokmin, which she doubted, with how in love she was it would just destroy her world.  
“I promise…” he said without a hint doubt in his voice, “we only have to go as a far as what your comfortable with.”  
“Oh?” She smirked, “with you I’d be comfortable with everything.”  
“Shit.” He darkly smiled shaking his head, “that’s hot.”  
“Hey, that’s my line.” She chided feeling a bit more relaxed when he parked the car. They got into the warmth of the building in little time luckily, and made out in the elevator up to her apartment.


	33. Fucking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title gives a pretty good explanation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another softcore smut rated M chapter, and this time they actually go all the way. So skip it if you’re uncomfortable with that.

“Want something to drink?” She offered opening the door to the apartment and flicking on a few lights so everything was given a dim haze.  
“Water?” He shrugged, “I want to be able to remember everything tomorrow morning.”  
“Water it is.” She caressed his face, taking off her jacket and shoes in the front foyer. He sat at the counter stool, watching her flip on a speaker playing music from her phone, then grab an empty cup and fill it with water.

“God, I love this song.” She smiled dancing to the melody. He just watched her, nodding his head to the beat and drinking his glass all in one gulp, “Wanna dance?” She offered her hand which he took, as they slowly danced closer and closer to one another. She let him run his hands along the curves of her body, as she swayed her hips back and forth with his.  
“You didn’t say you could dance.” He remarked by her ear. Her heart was already beating quickly as they moved together, fluid like water.  
“I can’t.” She giggled, kissing his jawline.  
“You’re a natural.” He complimented, grazing her thigh with a touch of his fingers and dragging his hand up her body.  
“Mmm thanks.” She smiled up at him, he was just as sweet now as he was ever and it brought her back to where she was. Who she was with. She could trust him with her life, and he’d deliver every time.

“You wanna stop dancing, and make use of our privacy?” She suggested flipping off the music from her phone, as he nodded slowly. She kissed him slowly and leisurely, not feeling too desperate until he began to assert dominance over the kiss.

“I’ve wanted you for a while tonight, if we would’ve waited any longer I would’ve just taken you against the closest wall.” He said his voice already turning raspy, eyes clouded and hungry.  
“I would’ve let you.” She kissed back just as hungry, “let’s go.” She broke the kiss grabbing his hand and tugging him into the bedroom where she pushed him down on top of the comforter.

“Off.” She ordered as he stripped off his button up, coat, and pants. He was already hard, obvious through his cotton boxers. Climbing over his figure they made out, getting more and more accustomed to each other’s touch. He grabbed her ass when she wrapped her legs around his bare torso. The skirt of her dress riding up so her thighs were exposed.  
“Why don’t you do the same?” He asked tugging at the zipper on the back of her dress. She let him unzip it, standing up from their entangled mess and letting the fabric fall to the floor. “Oh my god… you planned this didn’t you?” He just watched every bare patch of skin on her body, as she was wearing a lacy bra and panties underneath the red dress.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She teased, inching onto the mattress and spreading out so he could see all of her. “What if I wore this everyday? You wouldn’t know.” She crawled so she was kneeling in the space in front of him.  
“Fucking hell…” he swore just taking all of her in with predatory eyes, “I can’t take a photo can I?” He reached out but flinched afraid to touch her.  
“Maybe, if you’re good to me.” She played with the lace of her panties coyly.  
“I’ll be so good to you.” He promised eyes still devouring every bit of her.  
“How?” She taunted draping herself over his back so she was back hugging him.  
“How?” He choked out surprised.  
“C’mon Seokie, tell me. How are you going to fuck me?” She knew words were the only catalyst of their situation. Choosing to get started after dragging it out.  
“Goddamnit.” He swore when she reached down to feel him through his underwear, “I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’ll be screaming out my name. Then everyone will hear that you’re mine, that you belong to me and no one else.”  
“Make me.” She said cooly, teasing his cock by reaching into his underwear. “I wonder if it’ll fit inside me, I mean you’re so big…”  
“Fuck,” he exclaimed, hips jerking forwards before he sealed his lips over hers once more. He squeezed her breast in his hand, the other one firmly gripping her ass. She writhed with each contact, loving the way he was rough with her, but also asked what she was okay with.

As they made out he slipped a few fingers past the lace of her panties, slipping one in and then another. It was a stretch, painful at first, but after he added a few more digits moving them in and out it started to make her feel absolutely sinfully good.

“Seokie…” She whined, feeling practically virginal as she hadn’t done this in ages. “Please… fuck me already.” He groaned at her words.

“They’re in the drawer.” She pointed, panting out through labored breaths. He nodded removing his fingers and licking them clean before sliding open the drawer to find what he was looking for.

He rolled on the condom over his dick and positioned himself at her entrance. They started slow, but quickly picked up the pace. She was becoming more and more vocal until he was mercilessly thrusting into her, both positioned to get the deepest pleasure possible.  
“Seokmin…” she gasped. Even the sex was perfect, she hadn’t felt this good in all her years of existence. She’d waited to have him like this, and the wait was all worth it.

“Fuck, I’m close.” He swore against her mouth as they moved in synch, chasing their climax.  
“Me too…” she moaned through labored breaths, “Seok, I need you… to talk to me.”

“Baby, you feel so good.” He growled increasing the aggression of his kisses sucking wetly down her neck, “call me Oppa and come for me, baby.” He whispered in her ear, biting on a sensitive patch on her neck and drawing blood. The pain contrasting with the absolute bliss she was in sent her that much closer to the edge.   
“Shit,” she hissed whining aloud. “Seokmin…” 

“Do it.” He ordered, his voice low and throaty as he thrust harder hitting a spot that did it for her.  
“Shit Oppa…” she moaned and then was filled with the rush of her climax. He thrust into her a few more times until she felt his release as well, groaning into her skin loudly. She couldn’t move as the waves of orgasm ripped through her system violently almost. 

“God, that was amazing.” She panted laying next to him panting.  
“That was… incredible.” He kissed her again before they just sat beneath the covers and cuddled. He pulled on his boxers, and she dawned an oversized T-shirt he had left at her place.  
“I love you so much.” She said against his skin meaning every word.  
“I love you too.” He kissed her forehead sweetly, “now let’s get some sleep.”  
“Goodnight Seokmin.” She whispered before falling asleep in his arms. 

It felt perfect. She was in love, they were perfect together, and if she could just live this way for the rest of her life she would. 

But life is impermanent. It throws stuff at you when you least expect it. And she got an interesting Christmas gift from the CEO this year.


	34. Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All perfection comes to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I can’t believe it’s finally over, I’ve spent hours writing this and... PSYCH it’s not over yet hehehehe.

“Shin Youjin?” She answered her work phone that hardly anyone ever used.  
“Hello?” She asked into the receiver.  
“It’s the CEO’s Secretary, he requested a meeting with you. Now. It’s urgent.” The calm female voice informed her. She suddenly broke out in a cold sweat. Did he find out? Was the public aware of her relationship with an idol?

She gulped making her way up to his office, wiping her forehead with a tissue before she made it to the top floor.

“I’m uh… I’m here to see CEO-ssi.” She bowed to the Secretary who pointed her back to his office.

“Hello?” She poked her head in the room to find him sitting at his desk.  
“Youjin,” he nodded gravely, and her heart dropped.  
“What… what would you like to talk with me about CEO-ssi?” She stuttered.  
“Sit down first.” He nodded to the chair in front of him, and she hurriedly plopped down so she was facing him.

“Shin Youjin…” he drawled and she fidgeted in her seat. “You know you’ve been doing an exceptional job taking care of the boys…”  
“Thank you sir.” She bowed in her seat respectfully, but still scared shitless.  
“And because of that, I was considering you for a higher position a while back.”  
“What?” She asked confused.  
“Well, I’ve got faith in your abilities. You’ve wanted this for a while Jin.” He nodded seriously setting down a stack of contracts on the table top. She got an offer. She got an offer she couldn’t not say no to.

“You can produce a line of clothing that we’ll sell under your brand. You get 50%.” He explained shoving the contracts in her face, “it’s all part of building the company’s image. YG has Nonagon, now we need you.”

She had to say yes. And she did, without thinking signing the contract messily. This was her dream, producing a line of clothing under a brand that the company would manage. She could finally call herself a designer, everything she’d abandoned her own family for. 

“You move offices in March.” He explained.  
“Where are you sending me?” She asked alarmed and slightly confused.  
“Our Tokyo office. It’s where we’ll set up our first pop up shop.”  
“Japan?” She shrieked.  
“Japan.” He nodded, “start getting your pieces and sketches in. We’ll start finding someone to fill your job.”  
“Yes sir.” She nodded taking a shuddering breath, “thank you for this opportunity.”  
“I expect great things.” He simply dismissed her.

She had to tell Seokmin. She had to tell him, but she couldn’t. 

In the days leading up to their planned date they made for a Thursday night, she tried to tell Seokmin, she really tried. She told their manager about it. She even told Minghao about it. But she couldn’t tell Seokmin, every time she tried she’d start tearing up at the thought of leaving him for a year.

She couldn’t look him in the eye. She couldn’t tell him yet. But she had to. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. They sat across from each other in the back of a grill restaurant. Tapping her fingers nervously on the lacquered wood, she didn’t make eye contact with him.  
“Nothing, it’s nothing…” she shook her head.  
“Noona, I know that look. You’re worried, but why?” He tilted her chin so she’d look up at him.  
“I have something to… tell you…” She stuttered out, unable to form a proper sentence without getting teary eyed.  
“What is it?” He asked confused.  
“I… I’m no longer Seventeen’s stylist.” She said softly. His eyes went wide and he flinched backwards as if he was burnt by hot metal.  
“What?” He frowned.  
“I… I’m getting an opportunity to produce clothes for a brand for the company…” she explained.  
“What? That’s amazing! That’s your dream!” He cheered happily, but the worst news was yet to come.  
“Yes, but… I’m moving. I have to move away.” She explained, “I don’t know for how long, hopefully it’s only for a year…”  
“Moving? Where? Busan?” He frowned, “I guess I could always visit you…”  
“No Seokie, Tokyo. I’m moving to Tokyo, Japan…” she saw the hurt flash across his face.  
“What?” He scooted his chair back distancing them, “did you already say yes?”  
“Of course I said yes,” she frowned as well, “it’s my dream, Seokie.”  
“It’s your dream…” the tangible sadness in his face was obvious and she felt her heart break.

“I’ll be gone for a year…”   
She knew she shouldn’t do this, but she had to. She loved him, she had to let him go because she’d known something was coming. For her sucky life, perfection never lasted long, “Seokmin, you know I love you right?”  
“Yes Noona, always.” He nodded a worried expression crossing his face.

“Seokie, I think… I think we should break up when I leave.” She choked back more tears as she saw his face fall.   
“Why?” He demanded angrily.  
“Seokmin, I can’t be the one holding you back from meeting someone here in Korea… you’ve got hundreds and thousands of girls prettier and smarter than me who’d kill for a chance to date you…”  
“You still don’t fucking understand Jin!” He stood up slamming his hands down on the tabletop, “you’re the only one I want! I love you more than life, why can’t you understand that?”  
“What if I get that. What if I understand, and what if I say bullshit? Bullshit all of it! There’s no such thing as true love, when I’m away you’ll just… find someone and… fall in love. Then when I return…” she was crying by now, tears running down her cheeks.

“What do you expect me to do?” He said flashes of anger and hurt crossing his face, “there’s no chance I’ll ever get over you! You don’t get that?”  
“Do you want to get over me?” She whispered drying up her tears.  
“No…” he trailed off.  
“I’m sorry, Seokmin. I’m so sorry,” she apologized again, tears springing back up.  
“I can’t believe this…” He laughed in a cutting sarcastic way, “I can’t believe you didn’t even talk about things with me before you signed the fucking contract.”  
“I’m sorry.” She clenched her eyes shut, his words hurting her like bullet wounds.

“I shouldn’t be surprised. You’ve always chosen your dream above everything else. Over your money, over your home, over even your own parents.” He hissed and her heart hurt, because this is what heartbreak felt like.  
“Seokie…” she whispered out between sobs.  
“I should’ve known when I started dating you. I should’ve known that I’d always be put second to your dream.”

Her heart burned and ached and she couldn’t help but want to hurt him back. Just as much as he hurt her. She’d shoot and shoot and count the bullet shells later. 

“You’re right.” She stood up matching his stance across the table, “you’re fucking right. I’ve put myself first my entire life, because I’ve never met someone who was more important than me. If you grew up in my family you’d know that self preservation is the only thing between success and failure. I’ve failed so many fucking times, and now I have a chance at succeeding. I’d never met someone more important than myself, until I met you. And now leaving you here is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I have to do it see. I have to.” She was shaking with emotion by the time she finished. He looked so lost, and so broken. She was guilty for all of it.

“Noona, I think if this is it, we should say goodbye.” He looked up eyes filled with sadness and hurt.  
“Lee Seokmin, it’s been the best time of my life.” She whispered grabbing her bag and coat off the chair. Throwing down enough money to cover her portion of the bill, and turning around. 

“Jin…” he called out before she could leave the room. “Jin, I love you.”  
“I love you too, Seokie.”

And that was the last time she saw him before she left.

***

When she left for the airport the next month, Minghao and Jun agreed to drive her there. She had sold her apartment and her car. Her belongings had been shipped to the new company dorm in Tokyo. 

“We know you’ll be great, Noona.” Jun said encouragingly when she got off at the airport.  
“Keep in touch, we’ll see each other soon.” Minghao smiled hugging her in what felt like the first time he’d ever actually hugged her.  
“I will.” She agreed, grabbing her bag, “goodbye guys.”

Boarding the plane she took one last look back at Korea, back at everything wonderful that happened. Wishing one last goodbye.

“Goodbye Seokmin.”


	35. Moving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin moved to Japan and tries to move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter :)

Jin got off the plane in the Tokyo international airport. The one thing she noticed was that there wasn’t a speck of dirt in sight. The airport was literally spotless.

“Shin Youjin!” A girl who couldn’t be taller than 170cm approached her holding a sign. The girl had short black hair big eyes and long eyelashes, she looked like she could be an anime character.  
“Konichiwa.” Jin bowed.  
“Don’t worry, I speak Korean. I’m Naoko, from Pledis. I’m your new assistant.” The Japanese girl grinned.  
“Oh? You’re Kim Naoko?” She asked just to be sure.  
“Yes, that’s me! I’m so happy to have this job honestly it gets me out of the stuffy office building I used to work at and…”  
“And what?” Jin laughed when the girl trailed off her sentence.  
“Sorry I’m rambling again…” Naoko smiled sheepishly.  
“Hey don’t worry about it, I don’t mind.” She shrugged.  
“Thanks boss!” The assistant said chipperly.  
“Hey don’t call me that.” She sighed, “let’s be friends, alright?”  
“That would be amazing!”

They drove to a two bedroom apartment in the residential district of the city. It was a lot smaller than her flat back in Seoul, but everything seemed to be a lot more compact and efficient in Tokyo.

“I’m guessing you’re my roommate?” Youjin looked over at the belongings already in the apartment and saw Naoko look down at her feet.  
“If that’s a problem I’m sure the company would move me…”  
“No, not at all. I just hate to be invading your space.”  
“It’s fine! Really, it would be an honor.” Naoko laughed.  
“Then it’s settled, Roomie.” She joked.

She set up her stuff in the empty bedroom, all her clothes mostly unpacked. Holding the small Spider-Man action figure she brought along, she felt an unsettled feeling in her gut and the sudden urge to cry. So she let herself cry. She let herself remember. Until Naoko burst into her room.

“Jin… I’ve been calling you out for dinner, I was worried.” The girl panted.  
“Sorry.” She wiped the tears from her eyes, “I’m just going over a bad breakup.”  
“You should’ve told me…” Naoko sat down next to her on the bed and rubbed her shoulder for comfort.  
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Sharply Jin wiped away her tears, “I’m happy to be here. I’m so happy to be here.”  
“We’re all happy you’re here too.” Naoko reassured her handing over a large spiral bound sketchbook, “this is just something I picked up. I thought it would come in handy.”  
“Thank you.” Jin nodded opening it up to the first page, “let’s get to work.”

***

The only way to forget was to bury yourself in work, the first concept pieces were due at the end of the month as the pop up shop was set for March.

And bury herself in work is what she did. She spent nearly all day sewing or sketching and by the end of her first week in Japan her fingers were torn up and bleeding. She put all of her emotions into her work, designing sketches of dramatic costumes as well as simple monochrome leather jackets. All her pieces were monochromatic with touches of crimson embellishments.

“Do you like it?” She held up a leather jacket with a red band on the arm.  
“Hmm? Yeah that looks great.” Naoko smiled, “is the collection almost done? Your meeting with the company is this Friday.”  
“Yeah. I’m done.” She nodded.  
“Good well get some rest, and heal your hands.”

***

She was going on a blind date. A date with someone Naoko worked with and knew. He spoke a bit of Korean, and he was supposedly very polite.

“What do you think?” She asked wearing an emerald green cocktail dress and gold necklace.  
“Jesus Christ are you trying to kill the poor guy? You look amazing.” Naoko rolled over on her bed.  
“Thanks Nao.” She smiled at her reflection. This was a new start. This was her moving on.

She put on neutral makeup and grabbed a leather clutch bag before heading out.

“I’ll be home later.” She called back to her roommate.  
“Jin, you don’t have to be.” Nao joked, and she just sent her friend a dirty look.  
“I will, I don’t sleep with guys on the first date.” She knew how hypocritical her own words were as she’d practically done that in the past. But that was a different scenario, it didn’t count.  
“Bye Jin.”  
“Bye Nao.”

She drove up to the place, it was nice so she was glad she dressed up.

“Youjin?” An accented voice spoke up when she was waiting in the foyer of the restaurant. He was tall, and had a great face, his voice was deep and he dressed well. There shouldn’t have been any reason why she would find fault with him. But she did.

He looked too serious, like he couldn’t take a joke. He didn’t have a unique visual that stuck in her head. He didn’t have a sunshine smile, and staccato laugh that made her heart race. He didn’t have warm chocolate colored hair, or a tiny birthmark under his right eye.

“I’m Takubo.” He bowed.

He wasn’t Seokmin.

“I’m Youjin, but you can call me Jin.” She put on a fake smile and bowed back.  
“I knew it was you.” He grinned, but when he grinned the smile didn’t really reach his eyes, “shall we?” He asked.

They took a seat across from each other. She awkwardly sipped an iced tea and let the silence fall like a heavy blanket.  
“I’m sorry…” he suddenly apologized.  
“What?” She asked confused.  
“This is awkward, I… I’m just getting over a long term relationship. I don’t think I can date yet.” He shook his head.  
“Oh? Me too.” She sighed.  
“Really?” He looked up surprised.  
“Yeah. We broke up when I moved out here. It was messy.” She smiled mournfully.  
“She cheated on me…” he remarked looking down at his plate.  
“Ouch, I’m sorry.” She cringed. She wouldn’t know how she would’ve reacted if Seokmin cheated on her. She doubted he ever would though, because she trusted him with her life, “do you miss her?”  
“Yes.” He frowned shaking his head, “it’s awful but I miss her so much.”  
“I know the feeling.” She agreed. They spent the meal chatting about before. Then splitting the bill.

“How’d it go?” Naoko called from the kitchen. She was watching a Korean music show.  
“Not good. It’s been two and a half months and I’m still not over him.” Jin sighed approaching her friend who had popcorn already made.  
“Cmon, change into pajamas and come eat with me.” Naoko whined. Over the month that they’d been living together, Jin had began to think of Naoko as a close friend and not just an assistant. They often talked casually despite Naoko being two years older, and the Korean language reminded her of home.

She sat on the couch next to the Japanese girl, eating the popcorn she’d prepared.  
“This is delicious…” she mumbled out her mouth full already.  
“Glad you think so.” Naoko smiled, “I heard a group is making their comeback today on this show. That’s why I’m watching it…”  
“Ah… Got7?” She guessed.  
“I don’t know, I don’t understand enough Korean to decipher who it was.”  
“What’s the song called?” Jin slurped up the noodles in the sauce.  
“The song is called ‘Thanks’.”  
“Wanna One then? I don’t know.”

They watched until the stage went dark and the announcers made a bad joke using the title “thanks”.

“Oh my god…” she gasped. It was Seventeen. She’d recognize that logo anywhere. She forced herself to sit and not run away. But when the camera panned to Seokmin she felt her heart seize up. He looked tired, but perfect nonetheless.

“You okay?” Naoko whispered.  
“I’m fine.” She replied through gritted teeth. Of course as usual the song was amazing. She thought Seokmin deserved more lines, but that was just her opinion.

“That was incredible. Though their styling could use a little work.” Naoko joked and Jin couldn’t help but laugh.  
“Yeah. Incredible.” She agreed.

Later when she returned to bed she took out her phone.

To: Cheolie  
You: congrats on the comeback! Awesome stage

She wrote each of the members a message of congratulations and support. Even if they were probably fast asleep by then.

To: Seokie

She hesitated over the keyboard, her fingers unable to find the right words to type.

You: congratulations on the comeback, but what were you even wearing? A plaid bathrobe?

She decided on after ten minutes. Clicking the send button with her heart racing unnaturally. Right after she sent it, she saw he was actually typing back.

Seokie: Thanks

She sighed closing the conversation and putting away her phone. Maybe she couldn’t move on. Maybe she would never move on. But maybe that was alright. Maybe it was all for the best.


	36. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been 4 months since she saw them. Time changes people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow only 3 chapters left! I hope you all enjoyed this story, and Youjin because I’ve never really written an original character before haha. But I hope you’ve enjoyed it all so far!!!

4 MONTHS AFTER SHE LEFT

 

It had been four months since Youjin had last seen any of them. Not even half a year, but it still felt like eternity.

Her time spent achieving her dream of becoming a certified designer was a lonely miracle. She couldn’t have felt more content with what she produced, but she always felt somewhat empty. It drove her mad how much she missed him. How much she missed all of them. And now she’d finally get to see them again.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”  
“I’m sure Naoko, I already worked things out with the company.” She told her translator/assistant/best friend in the world over the phone.

It was a miracle that the company had gifted her with the assistant who quickly became her closest friend. She was so bright and full of energy despite being more than a couple years older than Jin. Always the one to cheer the designer up, even in the most stressful situations.

“Okay Jin, eat well.”  
“I will Naoko, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jin smiled hanging up the phone and setting it down. She nervously adjusted her sunglasses and newly bleached fiery red hair that was cut just below her shoulders. 

She was at the airport in the driver’s seat of a company car. She was waiting for Seventeen’s flight to land.

They were here for their Japanese tour, and she had been tasked with the job of styling them with clothes from her line in order to promote the Pledis brand. She nervously picked at her fingers, running her hands through her shoulder length hair. She’d changed the color recently in celebration of her successful sellout. A bright rose red color that she had wanted ever since she graduated design school.

The tell tale screams erupting from the airport doors prompted the arrival of the thirteen idols. She knew they were on their way.

The door to the black van slid open when familiar voices met her ears.

“I CALL SHOTGUN!” Chan’s voice alerted her of the performance team’s arrival, the group’s maknae shouting from outside.

“Jesus Christ I didn’t know we were this popular in Japan.” Minghao laughed climbing in to the seat behind hers. She hid a smile, looking in the rear view mirror when the passenger side door slid open and Dino jumped into the seat beside her. Jun and Hoshi followed, closing the door behind him. She was driving the performance team back from the airport, just as planned.

“Ahem excuse me… to where am I bringing you?” She spoke up, and everyone’s attention snapped to the driver’s seat.   
“You speak Korean?” Hoshi asked, obviously not recognizing her because of her new hair and sunglasses. Minghao, however looked like he realized something.  
“I am originally from Korea. I moved out here four months ago, remember?” She laughed.

“I knew it…” Minghao hissed, Chan was laughing, and Jun and Hoshi were still processing things until she took off her sunglasses.  
“I’m Youjin, but you can just call me Jin.” She winked.  
“NOONA!” They cheered, barraging her with questions about her new work.  
“Wait before you ask me anything, can someone tell me where I’m taking you?”   
Soonyoung gave her the directions and she pulled out of the airport parking lot.  
“How have you been?” Soonyoung asked first, eyes happily squinting.  
“I’ve been good.” She smiled, “it’s been a journey here, but everything worked out in the end.”

They asked her about the work she did, and how the pop-up shop went. She told them everything, from Naoko to the celebrities that showed up at the grand opening date.

“I love your hair.” Jun complimented before they got out of the car.  
“Thanks Jun-ie,” she smiled, “well I’ll see you four at fittings, and at the music video set.”  
“You’re not coming into the house with us?” Minghao frowned.  
“I promised the company I’d just drop you off here.”  
“C’mon, you’ve got to say hello to everyone else.” Hoshi whined, opening her car door, “it’ll only be a few minutes.”  
“Okay.” She found herself agreeing, smiling the brightest she’d smiled in ages, “but I’m just here to help you with your bags and say hi. No partying.”  
“Deal.” Hoshi nodded.

She helped walk the four idols into the dorm house on the side of the road. It was huge and beautiful. The place where they’d be living for the remainder of their Japan comeback.

“It’s good to see you.” Minghao said hanging back from the other three who literally ran to the house keys in hand in order to claim the best bedroom.  
“Yeah it’s great to see you too.” She smiled patting his shoulder warmly, “how have things been going with Jun?”  
“Hm? Oh it’s been perfect.” His eyes strayed over to where the brunette Chinese idol was unlocking the front door of the house, “everyday it’s been perfect.” She just felt slightly melancholic about it all. Remembering the days when life was like that for her as well. 

The warm spring breeze outside blew gently around them, it was a beautiful scene. 

“YO Soonyoung!” Seungkwan threw open the door to the house, the vocal team had already arrived there. Followed by Vernon’s shouting, signifying the rap team had already arrived as well.

“Hyung, isn’t it so amazing out here?” Chan asked laughing before being ushered into the house. 

Soon her and Minghao were the only two standing outside.  
“Noona.” Minghao said in a hushed voice, “if this is too much for you, I understand if you need to leave.”   
“Thank you, Hao,” she shook her head, “but I’ll be fine. I have to say hello to everyone.”  
“Okay.” He nodded gesturing towards the door.

She pushed open the door to the house to find Seungkwan, Vernon and Jeonghan playing a board game on the soft carpet of the living room. Seungcheol was talking over matters with the manager at the dining table. Everyone else was somewhere else in the house. Minghao stood in front of her, smiling over at the others.

“No! I won fair and square see.” Jeonghan laughed teasing the two maknaes.  
“No way hyung!” Vernon whined, throwing down the cards he held in his hand.  
“Yeah, I think you’re cheating.” Seungkwan agreed with the other.

“HAO, c’mon… bring your stuff upstairs…” Jun called from the top of the staircase.  
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Minghao replied, grabbing his roller luggage and giving Jin a small wave.

No one really noticed her presence until she sat down next to Seungkwan on the carpet.

“No I think Jeonghanie is right… he won alright.” She mused smirking when the three other went silent, Seungcheol’s head shot up from the table.

“NOONA?” Seungkwan shrieked for all the world to hear, and that’s when the racket really began.  
“NOONA!” Seungcheol called gleefully. Suddenly Joshua, Mingyu, and Wonwoo appeared from the kitchen, and Chan and Hoshi raced down the stairs.

“How’ve you been? How are you here? You changed your hair!” A chorus of chattering and questions followed and she smiled trying her best to answer as many questions as possible.  
“Yeah, I’ll be styling you for your Japanese tour.” She nodded laughing when Seungkwan started screaming about her new hair color. Everything was overwhelming and celebratory until she heard his voice.

“Jin…”

It was just as she remembered it, soft and smooth and perfect. Without hesitation she turned around and met his eye at the back of the pack. He was smiling, his eyes were crinkled into tiny crescents and he looked so happy. It made her heart race, just seeing him again.

“Hi…” She stuttered and the room suddenly fell quiet. Looking at her then at Seokmin, then back at her.  
“It’s good to see you.” He nodded, the same smile that was etched into her memory though this time with a hint of sadness.  
“Yeah…” she nodded back, and then the whole room erupted in noise once more. And she was frozen in place, staring into his warm gorgeous eyes that never failed to stun her. It was like they were frozen amidst a storm.

Without hesitation he stepped forward and hugged her, she let herself squeeze his familiar body. Feeling the same warm heat she always did when she was close to him.

“We need to talk.” He said softly by her ear, and she just nodded not caring how this looked in front of the others. Holding onto him because if she let go again he’d be gone. He’d be gone for good, and this time their goodbyes would have to be permanent.

She’d tried to get over him. She’d tried to so hard. And nothing worked, because whenever Naoko sent her on a date, or whenever she met someone in a bar she’d compare everything about them to Seokmin. She’d pick apart every fundamental flaw because they weren’t perfection. They weren’t Seokmin.

So here perfection was, in her arms, and she’d be a fool to let him go again. She never got over him, she always loved him. She’d just have to pray to the gods that he would let her back into his life after everything they’d said to each other.

Minghao was the one to clear his throat, breaking her out of her brief trance. But she didn’t let go, not until he let go first. So he did, and she reluctantly moved back into the crowd that surrounded her with hugs and questions and greetings.

It was late into the night when the small party ended, she had a corporate meeting the next day and had to get back to her apartment before midnight.

“I’ll walk you out.” Seokmin offered stiffly opening the front door for her. She wished everyone a temporary goodbye as she’d see them all very soon. Minghao gave her a wink seeing Seokmin follow her out the door.

They were alone as he walked by her side.

“Noona, just stop.” He said, hurt evident in his voice. She froze in place, looking over at him.  
“Seokmin?” She asked worried.  
“Noona, we can't do this. We can’t just act like we’re friends after everything that happened.” He scowled at the ground, “we can’t be friends.”  
“I understand… I’ll leave,” she felt tears prickling at the sides of her eyes. He grabbed her shoulder suddenly, gently holding her in place.

“Jin, we can’t be like this because I still love you.” 

She felt her tears dry up, and an unhealthy hope grow replacing the sadness.

“I don’t care what you said about moving on, I don’t care if you’ve got a boyfriend and forgot about me, about us. I don’t care. I’m so sorry if I hurt you, I wasn’t thinking when I got mad at you. I understand what you’ve been through, and I’m sorry I’m so sorry.” He pulled her closer so their lips were inches apart, “Jin, I’ve missed you so fucking much, it’s been hell without you.”

“We were perfect… we were golden… why can’t we have that again?” he said the sadness in his eyes evident. 

She leaned forward pressing her chapped lips to his plump ones, kissing him until he realized what was happening. She missed him more than words, it was like living without him hurt her a little bit everyday.

“I never stopped loving you. I thought about you everyday because life without you was so lonely. I’m sorry for what I said.” She whispered, sighing blissfully when he kissed her more intently. Both hungry for something that had been taken from them long ago.

“We hurt each other, Jin.”  
“We did.” She nodded biting her lip, “but does it hurt seeing me? Does it still ache?”  
“No…” he smiled softly, “I was so incredibly happy to see you here today.”  
“I was too.” She agreed loving his genuine eye smile, “time heals. I forgive you for whatever you said. And I hope you forgive me as well.”  
“I do.” He nodded earnestly eyes bright and wide. So she kissed him again, because she wanted to, because she knew that all her insecurities were null. Because maybe over the course of three months she’d started to believe just a little bit more in true love. She’d also started to believe a little bit more in herself, because she’d finally accomplished her dream.

She knew that in order to overcome her initial insecurities with Seokmin, she’d have to be confident with herself first. Now that she loved herself, she could love someone else too. 

“What are we, Jin?” He sighed softly holding her against him in the cold night.  
“We’re two fools in love,”

“I also really like you’re hair.” He told her before she left that night.  
“I’m glad you haven’t changed, Seokie.” She smiled waving before she drove back to her apartment.


	37. Finding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The times where SVT members find out about SeokJin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re uncomfortable with NSFW content pls skip chapter.

Being with Seokmin again, really truly being with him, made her realize how stupid she was letting him go in the first place. They weren’t particularly discreet around the others, though being cautious around the group’s manager. 

Minghao caught on instantaneously, knowing they got back together just by noticing the smiles on both of their faces when they were around each other. Jisoo, the second most observant member, was quick to have his own suspicions as well.

***

They were busy with photoshoots against the unique Tokyo scenery.

“Damn, that leather jacket fits you perfectly.” She back hugged her boyfriend burying her face in his leather-clad shoulder.  
“You were the one who designed it, everything you design seems to fit me.” He laughed, linking their hands together.  
“Well you are my muse.” She smiled brushing his chocolate colored hair out of his eyes.

“Hey…” Jisoo walked over grabbing his water bottle off the table. He looked between the two of them suspiciously before asking, “have you been dating all this time?” She nervously looked up at Seokmin wondering how he’d reply.

“We’re as real as your love for Jeonghan.” He answered before smiling brightly. She snorted a laugh, pressing a kiss to his cheek.  
“I won’t tell anyone,” Jisoo promised biting back a smile, “though I’m pretty sure almost everyone is suspicious by now.”  
“It doesn’t matter, we won’t lie about it anymore.” Seokmin announced kissing her on the lips as if to make a point.

***

Jeonghan was the next to ask them about it. They were at a rehearsal in the venue where they’d perform and the angelic idol was watching them share a plate of food while she sat in Seokmin’s lap. Him feeding her bits of food off his chopsticks.

“God you two are practically dating again. I thought time would change you, but I guess not.” Jeonghan said sarcastically, taking a bite of his own sandwich watching them eat. She blushed looking down at the plate nervously wondering how he’d respond to this one.

“How can you be practically dating when you are actually dating?” Seokmin retorted, laughing when Jeonghan’s face fell.  
“Don’t act like we don’t catch you flirting with Seungcheol and Joshua all the time.” She added, giggling uncontrollably when Seokmin pressed butterfly kisses to her neck.  
“Fine, I won’t tell anyone.” The supposedly angelic idol promised, rolling his eyes before standing up to go find one of his two usual victims.

***

Seungcheol was the next to find out, already being suspicious of how close they were.

“We should go to a hot spring on our day off,”  
Seungcheol told the boys after their show in Osaka. She overheard from a distance, discussing the next leg of their Japan tour with the manager.  
“Let’s invite the whole crew. They need a break too.” Hoshi was quick to suggest sending a cheerful smile to their management crew.  
“Sure, I’ll make the plans.” Seventeen’s manager was all too happy to get invited along.

That’s how she found herself going to a traditional Japanese hot spring with the crew and the group members. She wore a designer plaid robe over her white swimsuit, wrapping her bleached hair up in a messy bun, and slipping on some rubber sandals.

“I’ve always wanted to relax like this…” she laughed chatting with Naoko and the camera crew who forwent their usual mechanical equipment in place of swimwear and flip flops.

“Noona!” Seokmin called almost running over to her side when they arrived, wrapping his arms around her waist and picking her up.  
“Seokie!” She screeched surprised, laughing when he set her down. Still holding her tightly around the waist.  
“Lets go relax.” He pulled her away, but she grabbed her assistant by the hand not wanting to leave Naoko all by herself.

“C’mon Nao, come relax.” She laughed.

Seungkwan, Vernon, Chan and Mingyu were playing in one of the large pools with a beach ball. Minghao and Jun were resting on top of each other in a steaming pool of water. Wonwoo was sitting watching the boys play with the beach ball, reading a book in the shade. Seungcheol, Woozi Jeonghan and Jisoo were just relaxing in a steaming pool of water.

“NOONA!” Hoshi greeted, excited as usual.  
“Hey Soonyoung,” She waved, Seokmin still wrapped around her with no plans of letting her go anytime soon. Naoko looked between her, Seokmin and Hoshi eyes wide, lips tightly shut. She knew her assistant could be shy at times.

“Nao, this is Soonyoung. He’s the group’s performance team leader and choreographer.” She gestured between the two of them hoping they would warm up to each other. “And if you didn’t already know, this is Seokmin.” She patted his cheek gently.

“Nice to meet you.” Naoko bowed deeply, already slightly flushed from embarrassment.  
“Do you want to go play water polo with the others?” Hoshi offered clearing his throat. Nao just nodded shyly, kicking off her sandals and following the dancer. Although Naoko was two years older than Jin, sometimes she acted like her dongsaeng.

“Let’s go see how hot the water is.” Seokmin squeezed her tighter around the waist.  
“At least let me put my stuff down.” She pouted, laughing when he dragged her over to a beach chair. She kicked off her flip flops and threw the robe over the back of the chair, adjusting the back of her white bikini. 

His eyes caught on the black ink on her hip bone peeking out of her swim bottoms.

“When did this happen?” He looked surprised eyes not straying from the uncovered tattoo.  
“Oh. After the release. I got it done. I’ve got one on my shoulder here too.” She turned around pointing to her right shoulder blade. 

Suddenly growing worried at his silence, “do you hate them?” She asked, knowing that there was a certain stigma around getting a tattoo in Korea.  
“They’re beautiful.” He ran his finger along her shoulder blade over the image, “it’s a daffodil.”  
“I got the flower for beauty.” She smiled, “I got this one for strength.” She pointed to the ink half covered on her hip bone. The English word for strength tattooed in small font.

“How did I just notice them now?” He looked genuinely intrigued by the permanent artwork decorating her skin.   
“Well you haven’t seen me naked for half a year.” She joked, but he just sent her a sharp look.  
“I don’t plan on getting a boner in front of the others, so don’t tease me today.” He pinched her side, she squeaked out a laugh.

“You don’t think sneaking away to the bathroom and letting me blow you would be a good idea?” She whispered in his ear. “No one would notice us gone. Plus isn’t this whole trip for relieving stress?”  
“Fuck,” he breathed out, “let’s go.”

So that’s how she found herself sucking his dick in the locked men’s bathroom. 

Because of his hectic schedule and her work they were forced to have intimacy in times like these where an opportunity presented itself. 

Since they got back together, she’d given him a few handjobs in the locked confines of a bathroom offstage somewhere. They’d even spent one night just napping together when he didn’t have any schedules the next morning, but she didn’t have any condoms either so they couldn’t do much. Not like sex was better than a blissful nap. It was all the same, as long as she got to be around Seokmin.

She loved hearing his raspy moans and growls when she indulged him, his chocolate brown hair stuck sexily to his forehead, his flawless hands carding through her hair and his eyes completely hazy with pleasure. He finished quickly with a drawn out groan, not much cleanup to be done after she swallowed most of it.

“HEY are you done fucking in there? I really need to pee.” It was Seungcheol. It was undoubtedly Seungcheol’s voice.

“Shit…” She hissed, tucking him back into his swim trunks, “this is so embarrassing.”  
“I don’t regret it though.” Seokmin laughed, kissing her roughly against the tiled wall of the bathroom until Seungcheol banged on the door again.

“Sorry hyung.” Seokmin pushed open the door to the shocked face of the group’s leader. She didn’t make eye contact with the rapper, holding on to Seokmin’s arm for comfort.

“What the fuck…” Seungcheol’s face went blank, staring between both of them in shock.

“You can go pee now, Cheolie.” She coughed, laughing when Seokmin snorted indiscreetly.  
“I don’t have to go anymore, now you two explain yourselves.” The leader frowned at them both, “what the hell is going on between you two?”  
“Hyung, we’re dating.” Seokmin held her hand up gleefully.  
“What the fuck?” The leader was still trying to wrap his head around the fact when she leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Seokmin’s lips. The taste of him still present on her tongue.

“Oh my god.” Seungcheol’s face went white, “get back to the pool. I’ve learned enough for one day.”  
“Thanks Cheolie.” She smiled sheepishly leaving with Seokmin in tow.

“That was awkward as hell.” She whispered as they approached the gathering.  
“You think?” He laughed cuddling her to his side, “it’s alright though. It doesn’t matter to you does it? The others leaning about us?”  
“Not at all.” She sighed tempted to kiss him right there in front of everyone even their manager, but she refrained, “now let’s go join that game of water polo?”  
“You read my mind!” He grabbed her around her waist jumping into the pool holding her to his chest.

She didn’t spend nearly as much time with the other as she would like, but it didn’t matter when the times they had together were as perfect as this.

***

It was a couple nights after the day at the hot springs, Seungcheol had promised to keep them a secret even though Seokmin was starting to act like he didn’t care who found out. Pressing kisses to her neck and cheeks even when the others could notice.

She was back at her apartment, working on a few sketches she needed done for the next collection. Singing to the light harmonies of her favorite tracks when her phone dinged with a notification.

Seokie: Oppa wants some pictures baby

She rolled her eyes, remembering that the singer had a slight kink for being called Oppa despite being two years younger than her. She decided to let him have his fun.

You: selcas Oppa?  
Seokie: i want one of your tattoos baby  
Seokie: i want to see them again  
You: an Oppa kink and now a tattoo kink?  
Seokie: please baby  
You: why don’t you just come over and see them in person?  
Seokie: im at a recording for a show :(  
You: fine, just wait a minute

She snapped a picture of her daffodil tattoo, pulling down the neckline of her T-shirt and taking a mirror picture.

You: [image attached]

For the one just above her hip bone she shimmied out of her track pants, taking a picture of the ink letters obscured slightly by the lace of her panties. Her sharp hip line evident in the image. 

You: [image attached]

Seokie: Goddamnit  
Seokie: [image attached]

She clicked open the image with nervous fingers, the lighting was poor but she assumed he was in a dimly lit bathroom. Beneath the fabric of his pants she could see the obvious outline of his hard dick a little wet spot near the tip. Gasping aloud, She was glad no one was around to hear her.

Seokie: i want to see you  
You: me too  
Seokie: i can’t get off without you here moaning for me  
You: maybe photos would help Oppa  
Seokie: Jin you don’t have to  
You: i trust you

She took a selca in just her lacy bra, biting her bottom lip and looking away from the camera.

You: [image attached]

He didn’t reply for ten minutes, she was a little worried, but more turned on. They’d never really talked like this over text before, it was oddly thrilling. 

Seokie: can I come over later?

The notification rang through almost twelve minutes later. 

You: ill be waiting

She found herself adjusting things with nervous hands after she got the text that the recordings had ended and he was on his way. She hadn’t had sex in months, and now she was starting to feel that inexperienced rush. Like she was somehow out of practice. She wore a black lacy bra and matching panties, a choker around her neck and a flowy silk kimono robe, the whole ensemble making her feel more naked than if she were actually nude.

She lounged on the couch watching a Japanese samurai drama for the better half of an hour before she heard the telling knock at her door. Looking through the small peep hole she saw it was Seokmin, his clothes loose and undone. His hair styled from the shoot, makeup not completely wiped off.

“Oppa.” She pushed open the door, letting him take her in for a moment, “how was the shoot?”

“Jin… what the fuck…” he gulped, his adam’s apple sexily prominent. When she saw him, her nervous energy melted away, and she knew he was just as flustered as she was.  
“Did it take long?” She beckoned him into the apartment locking the door behind him, “do you want something to drink?”  
“I’m alright.” He stuttered kicking off his shoes in the doorway. She nodded walking behind the kitchen counter and making a scene of pouring herself a drink. He took the seat across from her, hungrily watching her every move. Eyes straying down to her barely clad body underneath the soft silk.

“What excuse did you use this time, Oppa?” She used the pet name just to see him squirm in his seat.  
“I just told them the truth, that I had to visit… visit Noona.” He gulped when she finished her glass, setting the cup down on the island.  
“Noona?” She teased, “who’s Noona?”  
“You…” he sat completely still.  
“But you’re my Oppa tonight.” She pouted, biting her bottom lip loosely and pulling on the collar-like piece of jewelry around her neck. “Shouldn’t Oppa tell me what to do now?”  
“Jin…” he sucked in a breath when she got closer to him, swaying her hips. She walked towards him, pushing him back in his bar stool as she sat on his lap, grinding down on him fluidly and letting him feel her up as they moved to a silent rhythm.

“Oppa, be rough with me.” She pleaded, moaning aloud again when he started groping at her sensitive breast.  
“You’re not giving me much choice.” He growled thrusting up almost violently, “now make me so hard, I’m forced to push you up against a wall and fuck you until you beg me to stop.” He commanded darkly, shoving her off his lap.

“Yes Oppa.” She smiled to herself, this was what she wanted. It’s what she craved, whether it be once in a blue moon or every night. She needed him like this. Possessive and feral and dominant.

She started a small dance, swaying her hips to the imaginary music, throwing her silk robe over his head, and unhooking her bra from the back stripping herself of it, throwing it to the ground behind her. Tearing the choker off her neck. She teased at the lacy hemline of her panties, pulling it down over her right hip to reveal her small tattoo but not pulling them off completely.

He watched her every move, eyes filled with lust and want. She loved it, it was the most turned on she’d ever felt. She dropped to the floor knowing the only way to get him to break was for her to be vocal.

“Oppa…” she moaned rolling her hips up as she touched herself through the wet lace of her panties, “more…” she said her eyes squinting shut as sweat rolled down her pale skin. She fingered herself, adding another digit shamelessly writhing around on the ground in front of him. Grabbing her breast and fucking into her hand she knew she had to talk more in order to force away his self control. “Oppa, faster, fuck me,” she begged, “harder, I need you inside of me, Oppa…” 

“Get up.” He said grabbing her by her arm and hoisting her up from the floor roughly, his voice dead cold. It sent shivers down her spine how low and raspy his voice was, unlike the melodic quality it usually had.

He shoved her up against the wall, abusing her mouth with harsh bites and sucks. She let his tongue in after giving up the fight for dominance, knowing she never had a chance in the first place. With one hand he was propped up against the wall, rolling his hips into hers. The other held her by the neck, as he devoured her mouth with his own.

They kissed until he started fingering her, brushing the lace out of the way. She was a moaning mess, when he added another finger she almost felt like her legs would give out from under her. He suddenly removed his fingers, picking her up in one fluid motion. He carried her as she kissed his neck, leaving marks that they would worry about in the morning.

He threw her on her bed, pulling his socks, shirt and pants off before pulling his boxers down to reveal his erection leaking precum. Letting all the garments drop to the floor.

“Oppa…” She squeaked, taking a condom packet out of her nightstand and tearing it open, “tell me what to do, Oppa.” She bent down so her breasts were brushing up against his dick. Shimmying out of her lacy panties, so she was completely naked laid across him.

“Fuck.” he stuttered out, his hips jerking upwards, “ride me” he ordered pumping himself a few times before sliding on the condom. She nodded at the request. 

“Oppa, I hope I’m good to you.” She lowered herself down onto his cock, moaning at the feeling of being completely filled up again. She started slow riding him comfortably until he whined impatiently and she started raising herself up and dropping down again bouncing on his dick. He thrusted when she ground down on him, perfectly in time, about to hit the edge when he stopped her.

“I’m going to fuck you now.” He warned and flipped her over so she was laying on her back when he climbed on top of her. Thrusting down ruthlessly. Capturing her moans when they made out, biting and bruising each other’s lips.

It was a mess, it was a hot mess of sensation. When she finally gave in she had fingernail marks all across her back and torso. Her neck was bruised and littered with markings. On her shoulder blade covering her tattoo was a bite mark that broke the skin, bleeding out, her thighs ached, and she was reaching the point of overstimulation.

“FUCK Seokmin.” She came with the shout of his name, feeling herself clench around his erect dick. As he hit his climax then too, moaning incoherently when he released.

“Oh my god…” she panted collapsing next to him after he was no longer inside her, “I love you so fucking much Seokie.” She whispered.  
“I love you too…” he repeated the sentiment, kissing her deeply, both too tired to do anything more than kiss. After a little while of just kissing, they pulled apart.

“How the hell did I get so lucky?” He cuddled her to his chest, she giggled kissing his skin softly.  
“I’m asking myself the same thing.” She smiled, having a partner who knew exactly what she wanted was a miracle itself. They fit each other, there was no other way to put it.

They were just laying side by side when a definite knock at her door caused her to shoot up from bed.

“What the hell…” she asked slipping on a new pair of underwear and his shirt that fit her like a dress. He slipped on sweatpants and followed her closely.

“Noona, Noona, it’s Hoshi!”

She stood completely still.  
“I just want to know if Seokmin is still at your place… I mean I don’t know why he would be but he hasn’t returned home yet and he said he was going to visit you so…”  
“Hoshi.” She smiled opening the door halfway.  
“Noona.” He diverted his eyes to the ground, “sorry did I catch you at a bad time?”

“Could’ve been worse at least you didn’t interrupt anything.” Seokmin said coming into view, only in his sweatpants. They both looked pretty fucked out, but there wasn’t anything to help that.

“Oh you’re still here… oh…” Hoshi looked up looking from him to her and then back again, “holy shit are you two sleeping together?”

“Why don’t you come in for coffee and we’ll tell you everything.” She sighed, dragging Seokmin over by the waist. She made Soonyoung decaf coffee upon his own insistence, as he sat at the kitchen island across from where her and Seokmin were standing.  
“So what is it?” Hoshi demanded.  
“Jin and I are dating. We took a break for a few months, but we’re back together.” Seokmin cheered, kissing her cheek affectionately.  
“Oh my god…” the dance leader exclaimed face falling in shock.  
“We’re sorry if this is shocking and unannounced, we just wanted to keep it on the down low.” She explained tugging at the hem of the T-shirt.  
“What should I tell Seungcheol-hyung?” Hoshi looked genuinely worried.  
“He knows.” Seokmin cut in, “He knows about us. Just tell him I’ll be back in the morning.”  
“Alright…” The main dancer rested his head in the palm of his hand, “honestly I don’t know how I didn’t see it.”  
“Thank’s Soon-hyung.” Seokmin said thankfully.  
“Aish, it’s fine.” Hoshi sighed pulling on his shoes again, “have a good night you two.”  
“Bye Soonyoung.” She smiled letting the dancer out of her apartment, “I’m sorry that you had to come all the way out…”  
“Seokmin, next time you’re fucking you better have your ringer on. We called you like a billion times.”  
“Alright Hyung.” Seokmin just nodded and smiled waving after the idol.

When he finally left, he pressed her up against the door kissing her again.  
“Noona, ready for round two?” He laughed taking it slower this time. She nodded not breaking their contact.  
“Just leave your ringer on this time.” She joked gently guiding him by the hand back to the bedroom.

When he left her apartment in the same clothes he arrived with, she knew that those members that had suspicions would all be verified when he returned back to the temporary dorm house. Especially because of the bright red angry bruises littering his neck and collarbones.

“Are you sure you’re okay if more people know?” She bit her lip worriedly.  
“That just means more people will know you’re mine.” He hugged her to his chest, smiling as brightly as ever. “I don’t mind, Jin, I really don’t. So don’t worry about it.”  
“Okay.” She nodded kissing him for an elongated time. Kissing him just felt like reflex, like something that was almost natural by now. The thrilling feeling it gave her never went away though.

“I love you.” Were his last words before he waved and left her warm apartment.


	38. Fluff-ing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo and Mingyu find out the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sheesh it’s almost over, only 2 chapter left! I can’t believe it, but if you’d like me to write anything, any SVT member or any other group member x reader pls leave a comment! sorry for the short fluffy chapter, BYE!

The next member to approach them about their status was the usually quiet Wonwoo at one of their last concerts in Japan. He approached them cautiously while they were casually talking off to the side.

“Hey Noona, Seokmin…” he interrupted. They looked at him expectantly. “You two ARE dating, right?”  
“Yes,” Seokmin nodded reflexively.  
“Doesn’t Noona have to stay in Japan for another five months after we return to Seoul?” He asked.  
“We’re planning on making it work.” Seokmin smiled pulling her closer to him.  
“So you two are serious about each other?” He stuttered our nervously. She looked over at Seokmin, seeing the bright smile still present on his face.  
“Well I love him.” She said honestly. He nodded agreeing.  
“I don’t plan on letting her go, ever.” He smiled squeezing her hand.

“Then I need help, I really need help.” Wonwoo frowned and she couldn’t help but feel pity for the rapper.  
“What is it?” She asked.  
“I already asked Minghao and Jun, but I need to know… what does it feel like when you… when you know you love someone?” His eyes were filled with uncertainty as he asked them.  
“Huh? Why are you asking us this?” Seokmin tilted his head confused as to why this subject even got brought up.

“I slept with Mingyu…”

“WHAT?” She shrieked, looking over at Seokmin who looked just as shocked as she did. In the group there were obvious couples, Jun and Minghao, maybe even Seungkwan and Vernon, but she’d never really expected it to be Mingyu and Wonwoo. Looking back on all the time they spent around one another it should’ve been more obvious.

“Maybe you’re confusing love and lust?” Seokmin suggested helpfully, “if you slept together once your feelings may be confused?”  
“It wasn’t just this once.” Wonwoo looked down at his feet, “it’s been like this for three months…”  
“WHAT?” She shrieked again.  
“We’ve been sleeping together for these past months, and after that trip to the hot springs I… I don’t know how I feel anymore.” He frowned, “I need to know what being in love feels like,”

“Well um… being in love is hard to describe?” She coughed, “but I guess it’s like… when you fall in love with someone they just seem perfect to you. They make your heart flutter and your cheeks heat up. And then you realize that you’d do anything to keep them in your life. Because even if you can’t have them, it’s enough just to be friends.” She sighed giving her best explanation, “I think I fell in love the moment I met Seokmin, but with people falling in love happens at any random time. No matter how long you’ve known them.”

“The moment you almost ran me over.” He joked.  
“The moment you ran out into the street without checking both ways.” She shook her head, laughing when he shamelessly pulled her into an impassioned kiss right in front of Wonwoo.

“Damn…” Wonwoo interrupted them.  
“Sorry if we weren’t any help.” She frowned, still concerned for the sake of the rapper.  
“No, you were way more help than Minghao and Jun.” The dark haired boy shook his head.  
“What did they tell you?” Seokmin asked curious.  
“Minghao just told me to go confess.” Wonwoo shrugged, “but after hearing your description I get it. I get that nervousness to confess and lose them in your life.”  
“If it’s any help, I’m sure Mingyu loves you just as much.” Seokmin shrugged.  
“I don’t know. But thank you, and I promise I won’t tell anybody about you two.” The quiet almost emotionless rapper nodded and left with a bow.

“Everyone practically already knows by now, so I don’t see why anyone has to keep us a secret anymore.” Seokmin said softly knowing the receding figure couldn’t hear him, “what you said about love, I understand. I understand now.”  
“Hm?” She asked.  
“I didn’t understand it at first, why you suggested we break up.” He sighed, “why you let me think it was over.”

“It’s because love is the most unselfish thing in the world.” He said his voice barely above a whisper. 

“If letting you go meant that you’d find happiness somewhere else or with someone else, I would do it. I’d want you to live happy, even if it’s without me.” She told him earnestly.  
“But you know I can’t live happily without you.” He reassured her, “you might’ve doubted it at the time, but after I met you, you became my universe.”  
“You’re being sappy again, Seokmin.” She warned, but quickly added, “I think you know how I feel about you.”  
“I love you Noona.” He kissed her again.  
“Love you too, Seokie,” and she kissed back.

***

“So you want me to help you find a hobby?” She got a phone call from Seokmin who requested she help them out with their series SVT Club.  
“Yeah, we don’t know Japan that well. Assuming you have hobbies, can you suggest one?” He replied.  
“But I’m a hermit that spends 24 hours a day inside listening to Big Bang.” She sighed frustrated.  
“Noona, nothing’s changed.” He stuttered out between laughs. Once the laughter died down he asked again. “But anything, really… like a sport? Or an activity?”  
“Does kickboxing count?” She asked.  
“Wait you do kickboxing?” He sounded surprised.  
“When I moved here I took it up. Nao told me it would be a good way to get out my anger.” She explained.  
“Well it sounds like fun… do you think Mingyu and I could come see the place before we ask them if we can film there?”  
“Yeah, when there’s a gap in your schedule we could arrange something.” She agreed.

It was three days later when they would meet at the gym she went to.

“Morning.” Seokmin was just as chipper in the mornings as he was any other time of day.  
“Good morning.” She beamed back. Slowly she’d became more of a morning person after she’d been forced to wake up before dawn for work.  
“Ugh.” Mingyu was the second one to get out of the van. Apparently NOT being a morning person.  
“Here, follow me.” She gestured taking them into the building. They met the instructor first, and looked around the facilities.

“So would you like to give them a demonstration?” The instructor asked. Amused by the idols who looked awed at everything in the building. Even Mingyu was looking around with wide eyes.  
“Sure.” She nodded, tossing her jacket off to the side and donning a pair of gloves. Light on her feet she punched the pad he was holding in different ways. Not even paying attention to how frightened Seokmin and Mingyu looked. Finishing the demonstration off with a kick.

She caught her breath, and took the gloves off.

“Holy shit.” Mingyu exclaimed, “you’re scary as hell.” Seokmin was just nodding in agreement. She smiled sheepishly.  
“Well that’s kickboxing. Do you think you want to try it out?” She brushed her short hair back away from her face.  
“YES!” Seokmin nodded already enthusiastic. The two went to go talk with their manager, but she still had her lesson to finish so she returned to the mat.

About half an hour later she bowed to the kind instructor, sweat beading on her forehead. Slipping on her shoes when she noticed two people still there watching.

“I thought you left.” She said surprised seeing Mingyu and Seokmin watching her.  
“Not before saying goodbye!” Seokmin justified, “plus we kind of wanting to watch.”  
“YOU kind of wanted to watch.” Mingyu clarified.  
“Yeah.” He just flushed pink looking at his shoes. She fluffed his messy hair in affection.  
“I think you two will be great at kickboxing.” She nodded, “Let’s go out for lunch?”

They were at a ramen bar, one of her favorites, slurping up noodles contentedly. Seokmin and Mingyu were talking about SVT Club, and she just listened along with rapt attention.

“It sounds like fun to film.” She mused smiling when they both nodded.  
“We even got to go to karaoke!” Seokmin’s eyes lit up as he mentioned all the fun things they got to do because of their reality show.  
“Lucky.” She shook her head, smiling fondly at her boyfriend.  
“Hey! Maybe before we fly back I could take you.” He offered.  
“To?” She raised an eyebrow. Mingyu was just watching the whole exchange with analytical glances.  
“Karaoke! I mean you love to sing too, right?” Seokmin explained.  
“Yeah! Who doesn’t love to sing?” She laughed when Mingyu made a sour face.  
“It’s a date then!” He announced loudly. Both her and Mingyu’s jaws dropped.  
“Seokie…” she hissed gesturing to the rapper sitting beside him. Mingyu was still looking at the older member with shock.  
“Wait, you two are…” He stuttered out.  
“Yeah, she’s mine. Hands off.” Seokmin said casually, and Jin couldn’t help but laugh at how bad Mingyu was taking the news.  
“You can’t just say that and not give an explanation!” Mingyu was panicked by now. Eyes wide as he looked between the couple.  
“Mingyu-ah, we’re dating.” She said calmly, “we’ve been together for months we just didn’t want to tell anyone. Looks like Seokmin doesn’t really care now if the whole world knows.” She gave her boyfriend a pointed look. He snickered gently nudging her foot with his own under the table.  
“Holy shit…” was all Mingyu could say.

They left the restaurant later after they split the bill.

“Noona, you looked really hot when you were kicking the crap out of your instructor.” Seokmin said a bit too loudly and Mingyu overheard.  
“Would you save it for the bedroom?” The rapper scrunched up his face disgusted.  
“You’re so sweet,” she kissed him on the cheek gently. Going on her tiptoes to reach.  
“It was better when I didn’t know…” Mingyu whined.


	39. Sunshine-ing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaving and reuniting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it’s the end! I can’t believe it already, but if you’d like to read a Hoshi x reader(Naoko) story then please leave comment or suggestion. Only the epilogue left, thank you for reading this far.

The day before the members had to leave, Seokmin took her to karaoke.

“So what songs do you want to sing?” He asked excitedly. She knew singing was probably Seokmin’s favorite thing to do in the universe, so she was happy she got to watch him do what he loved.  
“Hmm… I don’t know you pick.” She shook her head wanting to watch him sing.  
“Fine, but you’re up next.” He grinned giddily putting on a new age ballad from FNC Entertainment. She sat back watching him begin. And by the end of the song, after listening to him belt out the notes perfectly, she clapped loudly. Cheering for him.  
“Honestly, you’re incredible.” She said amazed, laughing when he sat down beside her.  
“I’m not that…”  
“Seokmin.” She cut him off before he could continue, “why do you deny it? Your voice is practically angelic! You can’t be modest about it. You’re just that talented.”  
“Noona!” He whined blushing pink and avoiding her gaze.  
“Sometimes I wonder what I did in a past life to deserve someone as perfect as you.” She told him earnestly, loving the way he watched her with curious eyes. He leaned in and pecked her on the lips gently.  
“Jin, I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you.” He sighed. She just shook her head and kissed him again.  
“How about we agree that we deserve each other?” She suggested.  
“And then you’ll take a turn?” He handed her the microphone.  
“Yes. Then I’ll take a turn.” She giggled taking the device from his hands.

She scrolled through the monitor.  
“Big Bang?” He asked, already suspicious of what she would choose.  
“Not quite.” She smirked.  
“Wow I’m surprised. This is unusual.”  
“Found it.” She exclaimed patting his arm before standing up so she could read the lyrics properly. He lit up at the sound of the familiar guitar chords.

“Baksu! Seventeen right here.” She chanted. “It’s alright, it’s alright. These things were bound to happen.” She sang. He watched her and clapped enthusiastically when the song ended.  
“You could sing,” He looked shocked.  
“Why do you sound so surprised?” She laughed.  
“I like your voice a lot, Noona.” He kissed her cheek gently.  
“I like your voice a lot too, Seokie. Now let’s sing a duet?”

By the end of their hour, they were both flushed and their voices were spent.  
“God, this is the most I’ve laughed in a while.” She smiled.  
“Me too.” He agreed cuddling into her side. They paid and left for the house.

Just relaxing and talking in the car was a nice break from the usual high energy. He would return to Seoul, and she would join them in fice months. It would still be five months apart, and she didn’t know how she would last.

“Before you leave,” she cleared her throat, “it’ll be five months away from each other.”  
“Don’t…” he warned, “we’re not breaking up again. We’re going to make this work, because three months is nothing when we’ve got the rest of our lives.”  
“I wasn’t going to suggest we break up.” She pouted. He sighed in relief.  
“Good. Cause we’re not doing that.”  
“Seokie, I just want you to know that I’ll miss you. A lot.” She told him, as they pulled up in front of the dorm house.  
“I’ll miss you too.” He looked saddened in a way, but still smiled genuinely.

“I’ll see you soon,” she kissed him for the last time before the band members left for the airport. He drew out the kiss so they could spend more time just in each other’s presence. His slightly chapped lips felt so natural against hers.

“I love you, Jin.” He told her kissing her gently before he ran out to the company van, waving back over his shoulder. She waved after him, knowing the months would pass by quickly. Until she would see him again.

***

Five months passed, everyday she talked with Seokmin over video chat or over the phone. He sometimes called her at the dead of night when their group’s schedules had finished up but she’d always pick up.

She packed up her Tokyo apartment, selling the things she couldn’t take back home. Seokmin had promised her she could stay with him until she found an apartment back in Seoul.

Boarding the plane with Naoko she wished Tokyo goodbye. Happy to be returning home to Seokmin. Where she belonged.

“Look another article has been posted…” Naoko showed her the screen of her tablet. The headline read ‘Pledis’ Second Online Shop Sells Out Within Minutes’  
“Isn’t that supposed to be in airplane mode?” Jin deadpanned leaning back in her seat prepared for the one hour flight.  
“You should be proud of what you accomplished, Jin.” Her assistant shook her head smiling over at the designer, “you’ve done so much for the company.”  
“I am very proud.” She nodded.  
“Honestly not just for the company, but for Seventeen as well. They all couldn’t have done it without you.” Naoko smiled looking down at her tablet and shutting it off when the flight attendant passed by.

“Naoko… is that a blush I see?” Jin teased seeing her assistant blush at the mention of the group name, “do you have a thing for one of the members?” She teased.  
“No! No way that would be unprofessional!” Naoko shook her head.  
“C’mon Nao, who is it?” She asked smirking.  
“You know that brunette that you’re always hanging around with?” Naoko blushed looking down at her blank tablet.  
“Seokmin?” Jin suddenly felt a little alarmed at the fact.  
“Yeah his best friend. Soonyoung. The one who dances really well with the adorable eyes…”  
“HAHA.” She laughed in relief, “I thought for a second there you had a crush on Seokie.”  
“No way, no one would ever get near him. He’s practically yours already.” Naoko laughed.  
“Yes, he is.” She nodded satisfied that it was clear he was taken. “But you mean Hoshi?”  
“Yes! He’s so adorable and talented.” Naoko blushed bright pink.  
“You should tell him.” She advised smiling when Nao shook her head violently.  
“I would never.” Her assistant denied, “that would be unprofessional.” She rolled her eyes at Naoko’s excuses.  
“You’re only three years older than him, and you’re beautiful. I bet he would at least give it a shot.” She joked knowing her assistant was too shy.  
“Stop it Jin.” The older scolded, her cheeks a heavy crimson color.

They landed in Seoul at half past 8PM. It was already dark out.

“Wait so where am I driving you to?” Naoko asked from the driver’s seat.  
“Their new dorm…” Jin pulled up the address on her phone.  
“We’re going to Seventeen’s new dorm house?” Nao looked at her confused.  
“They’re letting me stay there until I get an apartment.” She clarified.  
“They’re so good to you…” Naoko nodded smiling brightly, “I’m sure you’re excited to see everyone.”  
“I am. I can’t wait.” Jin nodded as they pulled away from the airport. She watched out her window at all the Seoul City night lights, seeing them for the first time in a year.

She wore a long ankle length pale pink tulle skirt, and a loose grey T-shirt. Her now bleached purple hair hair tied up in a loose knot, and she wore a brand backpack with everything she needed for the plane trip.

They pulled up to the new apartment building parking outside.

“Hey, I’m sure they’d like it if you came in for some tea,” she told Naoko, “they probably all remember you from the hot spring.”  
“No, it’s alright I should go get to my hotel…”  
“Nao, come on.” Jin laughed dragging her assistant out of the car, “Have a little fun sometimes.”  
“Fine.” The Japanese native gave in.  
“Let’s go!” She cheered grabbing her roller bag and leading the way. They took the elevator up to one of the top floors. Where the new dorm rooms were located. Seokmin had told her they’d moved in just before they left for Japan, in April.

She shifted her weight from foot to foot after she knocked, waiting for someone to open the door. Waiting to see Seokmin for the first time in months.

“Jin-Noona! And Naoko-Noona! Come on in.” Hoshi smiled opening the door wide so the two could walk in. She nodded thank you, and grinned seeing Naoko’s blush. She looked around the room, but Seokmin wasn’t there. Greeting everyone else when the lights flipped off.

“Welcome home Noona.” Seokmin walked out of one of the back hallways holding a chocolate cake lit with a few candles. He was smiling his brightest smile and she felt at home the minute she saw him.  
“Are you sure this isn’t just another excuse to eat cake?” Joking, she could only stare at Seokmin’s glowing eyes, then blow out the candles on the cake. He looked practically ethereal in the darkness, illuminated by the smallest flames.

“WELCOME HOME!” Everyone cheered when the lights were flipped back on. Seokmin set the cake down on the table so Seungcheol could cut it. Falling to her side, right where he belonged.

“I missed you, Noona.” He snaked an arm around her waist. She leaned into his side comforted.  
“We talked last night over the phone, Seokie.” She chuckled.  
“It’s not the same.” He smiled.  
“You complain just as much as you do in real life, it’s pretty similar.” She jabbed, and he made a funny hurt face.  
“Yeah, but I couldn’t do this over video call.” and with one movement he leaned down sealing his lips to hers, kissing her slowly. She just kissed him back, forgetting all about where they were. Lost in their own little world as they knew this time they wouldn’t allow themselves to be torn apart again.

“HOLY SHIT!” Screaming interrupted them, as she was the first to break apart. Smiling up at Seokmin with as much love as she could emit.  
“WHAT THE HELL?” Seungkwan and Vernon were screaming. Jumping around wildly, Chan and Jun also seemed to be losing their shit.

“What?” Seokmin asked cluelessly. Naoko stared between them in blatant shock.

“You just fucking kissed!” Seungkwan squealed.  
“I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!” Vernon was yelling.  
“I mean we have been dating for months.” She spoke up, laughing at everyone’s reactions to the announcement. “I’m surprised everyone didn’t know.”  
“We were pretty obvious.” He laughed pulling her in for another drawn out kiss. Some people looked away flustered, and some shouted ‘gross’. She didn’t care, she just knew that if Seokmin was hers the world was alright.

“I love you Jin.” He said smiling against her lips.  
“I love you too, Seokie.”

Youjin couldn’t have been more thankful to be where she was.

Two years ago she had applied for a job that she didn’t expect to get. Two years ago she had had absolutely nothing. Two years ago she almost ran over the love of her life. Now, she would never let him go.


	40. Epilogue-ing: 5 Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m a sucker for happy endings.

5 YEARS LATER

 

The wedding truly was beautiful. Everything was so perfect, even the beautiful bouquets of white and pale pink peonies. It hadn’t even begun yet, but guests were already starting to take their seat.

“Hey.” Seokmin jogged up to her side.  
“Hi.” She smiled adjusting his tie, “I can’t believe your sister made me a bridesmaid. I’m so honored.”  
“She practically thinks of you like family by now,” he smiled glancing backwards at his sister.

“I can’t believe my sister is getting married…” he sighed brushing his chocolate colored hair out of his face.  
“It’s pretty incredible. Her and Dujun have been together for 11 years?”  
“Yep… this is the date for their 11th anniversary.”  
“Awww that’s sweet.” She smiled, “everything is so perfect, I’m sure she couldn’t be happier.”  
“It really is perfect.”

The music started and Seokmin linked arms with her as they fell into the line of groomsmen and bridesmaids proceeding the main event. Standing at the alter and watching Mina walk in her beautiful white lace gown and seeing Dujun’s reaction she kept catching Seokmin’s eye as he winced when they kissed, but clapped when it ended.

“I think you upstaged the bride.” He joked tucking a piece of her long bleached grey hair behind her ear.  
“I mean with this hair that’s pretty easy.” She joked.  
“I like your hair grey.” He shrugged, “you look good whatever you do with it.”  
“You’re cheesy.” She smiled kissing him as they sat down at a table at the reception.

“Does this ever… make you think?” He changed the topic looking around and seeing the happy now married couple dancing.  
“Me?” She asked aloud surprised.  
“Yeah, do you ever think about marriage?”  
“Sometimes I guess.” She shrugged, “I don’t really think about our future a lot. All I know is I want a future with you in it.”  
“And you’re calling ME cheesy?” He rolled his eyes and she just kissed him again because she couldn’t help herself.

“I love you, Jin.” He whispered.  
“I love you too, Seokie.”


End file.
